## -*- Mode: text; fill-column: 75 -*-
## Quotation Collection.
## Copyright (c) 2003-2007 by Michal Nazarewicz (mina86/AT/mina86.com)
## Licensed under the Academic Free License version 3.0.
##
## This software is OSI Certified Open Source Software.
## OSI Certified is a certification mark of the Open Source Initiative.
##
## This is part of Tiny Applications Collection
## -> http://tinyapps.sourceforge.net/
##
## To create a fortune compatible file use:
## grep -v \# quotes.txt >qutoes
##
%
I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
%
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have
exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abbe Eban
%
When the music's over, turn off the lights.
-- Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) [last words]
%
So far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain.
And so far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
I, at any rate, am convinced that He [God] does not throw dice.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you
mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War
IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
I should've been a plumber.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm
not sure about the former.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
I don't know what is the speed of sound. I don't carry information in my
mind that is readily available in books.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as
a German and France will say I am a man of the world. If it's proven
wrong, France will say I am a German and Germany will say I am a Jew.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we
created them.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
%
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong--or
absolutely right.
-- Albert Guinon (1863-1923)
%
Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won't have time to
make them all yourself.
-- Alfred P. Sheinwold (1912-1997)
%
I would not fear a pack of lions led by a sheep, but I would always fear a
flock of sheep led by a lion.
-- Alexander the Great (356BC-323BC)
%
Wait a minute...
-- Pope Alexander VI (1431-1503) [last words]
%
Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise.
-- Andrew Mutton [last words]
%
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31
== Dec25 !
-- Andrew Rutherford
%
Wszystko już kiedyś było, wszystko już się kiedyś wydarzyło. I wszystko
już zostało kiedyś opisane.
-- Vysogota z Corvo
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
Potwór przestąpił z nogi na nogę, podrapał się w ucho.
-Słuchaj no, ty -rzekł. -Czy ty się mnie naprawdę nie boisz?
-A powinienem?
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Ziarno Prawdy
%
Tam za moment zacznie się rzeź. A za moment plus moment zjawią się
pierwsi ranni. Wszyscy wiedzą, co mają robić, każdy zna swoje obowiązki i
swoje miejsce. Jeśli każdy będzie przestrzegał, czego powinien
przestrzegać, nic nie może pójść źle. Tam jakieś sto tysięcy ludzi zacznie
za chwilę kaleczyć się wzajemnie. Na bardzo wyszukane sposoby. Nas,
wliczając dwa pozostałe szpitale, jest dwanaścioro lekarzy. Za nic w
świecie nie zdołamy pomóc wszystkim potrzebującym. Nawet znikomemu
procentowi potrzebujących. Nikt nawet tego nie oczekuje. Ale my będziemy
leczyć. Bo to jest, przepraszam za banał, racja naszego istnienia.
Pomagać potrzebującym. Pomożemy więc banalnie tylu, ilu zdołamy pomóc.
Nie damy rady zrobić dużo więcej, niż będziemy w stanie. Ale postarajmy
się wszyscy, żeby to nie było mniej.
-- Rusty
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
Jedne z płomyczków wysokie były i mocne, świeciły jasno i żywo, inne zaś
były malutkie, chwiejne i drgające, a światło ich ziemniało i zamierało.
Na samym zaś końcu był jeden płomyczek maleńki i tak słaby, że ledwie się
tlił, ledwie pełgał, już to rozbłyskując w wielkim trudzie, już to gasnąc
niemalże zupełnie.
-Czyj jest ten gasnący ognik? -zapytał wiedźmin.
-Twój -odrzekła Śmierć.
-- Flourens Delannoy, Bajki i klechdy
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
Dobra, dobra. Żarty na bok, jak powiedział król Dezmod, gdy wśród uczty
goście nagle zaczęli sinieć i umierać.
-- Geralt
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
Od pietnastu lat piszę, pies z kulawą nogą się tym nie zainteresował, a
teraz podobno jakiś k...a film nakręcili.
-- Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-)
%
Na wojence bywa różnie,
Raz ktoś komuś główę urżnie,
Raz znów dadzą znać o zmierzchu,
Że ktoś flaki ma na wierzchu.
-- Nieznany autor, Na wojence
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Wieża Jaskółki
%
Zabójstwo jest zawsze zabójstwem, bez względu na motywy i okoliczności.
Przeto ci, którzy zabijają lub przygotowują zabójstwo, to przestępcy i
zbrodniarze, bez względu na to, kim są: królami, książętami, marszałkami,
sędziami. Nikt z tych, którzy obmyślają i zadają przemoc, nie ma prawa
uważać się za lepszego od zwykłego zbrodniarza. Bo wszelka przemoc z
natury swojej nieuchronnie wiedzie do zbrodni.
-- Nicodemus de Boot, Medytacie o życiu, szczęściu i pomyślności
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Wówczas rzekła wróżka do wiedźmina: "Taką ci dam radę: obuj żelazne buty,
weź do ręki kostur żelazny. Idź w żelaznych butach na koniec świata, a
drogę przed sobą kosturem macaj, łzami skrapiaj. Idź przez ogień i wodę,
nie ustawaj, wstecz się nie oglądaj. A gdy już od wiatru i żaru wyschną
twe oczy tak, że już ni jedna łza z nich wypłynąć nie zdoła, wówczas na
końcu świata odnajdziesz to, czego szukasz i to, co kochasz. Być może." I
wiedźmin poszedł przez ogień i wodę, wstecz się nie oglądał. Ale nie wziął
ni butów żelaznych, ni kostura. Wziął tylko swój miecz wiedźmiński. Nie
posłuchał słów wróżki. I dobrze zrobił, bo to była zła wróżka.
-- Flourens Delannoy, Bajki i klechdy
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Chrzest Ognia
%
Poznałem w życiu wielu wojskowych. Znałem marszałków, generałów,
wojewodów i hetmanów, triumfatorów liczbych kampanii i bitew.
Przysłuchiwałem się ich opowieściom i wspomnieniom. Widywałem ich
schylonych nad mapami, rysujących na nich różnokolorowe kreski, robiących
plany, obmyślających strategie. W tej papierowej wojnie wszystko grało,
wszystko funkcjonowało, wszystko było jasne i wszystko we wzorowym
porządku. Tak być musi, wyjaśnili wojskowi. Armia to przede wszystkim
porządek i ład. Wojsko nie może istnieć bez porządku i ładu. Tym
dziwniejsze jest, że prawdziwa wojna - a kilka prawdziwych wojen
widziałem - pod względem porządku i ładu do złudzenia przypomina ogarnięty
pożarem burdel.
-- Jaskier, Pół wieku poezji
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Chrzest Ognia
%
Biedaków nigdy nie stać na nic, dlatego są biedakami.
-- Codringher
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Czar Pogardy
%
-Jedno jest na świecie prawo! -ryczał gruby kapłan. -Prawo boskie! Cała
natura temu prawu podlega, cała ziemia i wszystko, co na tej ziemi żyje!
A czery i magia są temu prawu przeciwne! Przeklęci więc są czarownicy
i bliski jest dzień gniewu, w którym ogień z niebios zniszczy ich plugawą
wyspę! Runą wówczas mury Loxii, Aretuzy i Garstangu, za którymi właśnie
zbierają się ci poganie, by swe knowania obmyślać! Runą te mury...
-I trza będzie, psia mać, od nowa stawiać.
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Czar Pogardy
%
O miłości wiem niewiele. Z miłością jest jak z gruszką. Gruszka jest
słodka i ma kształt. Spróbujcie zdefiniować kształt gruszki.
-- Jaskier, Pół wieku poezji
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Czar Pogardy
%
Odejdź stąd i wychędóż się sam.
-- Egzorcyzm
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Ostatnie Życzenie
%
Gdy cię mają wieszać, poproś o szklankę wody. Nigdy nie wiadomo, co się
wydarzy, zanim przyniosą.
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
(...) jak rzekła młodziutka Cerro do króla Vridanka na ich pierwszecj
schadzce: "Niebrzydka rzecz, ale czy ma jakieś zastosowanie praktyczne?"
-- Yarpen Zigrin
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Pani Jeziora
%
-Kto jest najszybszym szermierzem na świecie?
-Nie mam pojęcia.
-Nigdy nie znałeś takiego?
-Znałem wielu, którzy się za takich uważali.
-Ha! Kim byli? Jak się nazywali? Co potrafili?
-Wolnego, wolnego, dziewczyno. Nie znam odpowiedzi na te pytania. Czy to
takie ważne?
-Pewnie, że ważne! Chciałabym wiedzieć... kim tacy szermierze są.
I gdzie tacy są.
-Gdzie są, to ja wiem.
-Ha! Więc gdzie?
-Na cmentarzach.
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Nic, tylko byście się chędożyli, w kółko, bez wyboru, z kim popadło i
gdzie popadło. A waszym kobietom wystarczy byle siąść na męskich portkach,
by im brzuch urósł... Czegoś tak pokraśniała, myślałby kto: maczek polny?
Chciałaś rozumieć, tak czy nie? To i masz szczerą prawdę i wierną historię
świata, którym włada ten, kto sprawniej rozłupuje innym czaszki i w
szybszym tempie nadmuchuje baby. A z wami, ludźmi, trudno konkurować,
zarówno w mordowaniu, jak i w chędożeniu...
-- Yarpen Zigrin
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Lepiej zginąć, niż żyć ze świadomością, że zrobiło się coś, co wymaga
wybaczenia.
-- Yarpen Zigrin
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Dobry elf, to martwy elf.
-- Marszałek Milan Raupenneck
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Nietolerancja i zabobon zawsze były własnością głupich między pospólstwem
i nigdy, jak mniemam, z gruntu wykorzenione nie będą, bo równie wieczne są
jak sama głupota. Tam, gdzie dziś piętrzą się góry, będą kiedyś morza,
tam, gdzie dziś wełnią się morza, bedą kiedyś pustynie. A głupota
pozostanie głupotą.
-- Medytacje o życiu, szczęściu i pomyślności
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Nie mam nic przeciwko wiedźminom. Niech sobie polują na wampiry. Byleby
tylko płacili podatki.
-- Radowid III Śmiały
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Krew Elfów
%
Zaiste wielkiego trzeba zadufania i wielkiego zaślepienia, by posokę
lejącą się z szafotu nazwać sprawiedliwością.
-- Vysogota z Corvo
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Wieża Jaskółki
%
Król bezgranicznie kochał swą małżonkę, królową, a ona całym sercem
kochała jego. Coś takiego musiało skończyć się nieszczęściem.
-- Flourens Delannoy, Bajki i klechdy
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Wierza Jaskółki
%
A ja myślę, że całe zło tego świata bierze się z myślenia. Zwłaszcza w
wykonaniu ludzi całkiem ku temu nie mających predyspozycji.
-- Zawisza Czarny
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Narrenturm
%
- Brekk-rek - zaskrzeczał. - Bhrekk-rekekeks.
- Wypluj muł i powtórz, proszę.
- Bhrekekgreg-greg-greg.
- Robisz idiotę z siebie? Czy ze mnie?
- Kuaks-kwaaks.
- [...] Nie nabierzesz mnie. Doskonale wiem, że rozumiecie i umiecie
mówić po ludzku.
Wodnik zamrugał podwójnymi powiekami i otworzył usta, szerokie jak
u ropuchy.
- Po ludzku... - zabulgotał, plując wodą - Po ludzku owszem, tak. Ale
dlaczego mam gadać po niemiecku?
-- from Andrzej Sapkowski (1948-), Boży bojownicy
%
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
-- Andy A. Rooney (1919-)
%
Damn! A bullet!
-- Antonio Jose de Sucre (1795-1830) [last words]
%
Bardzo zaawansowana technologia niewiele różni się od magii.
-- Sir Arthur Charles Clarke (1917-2008)
%
A bullet to his head won't bring back the dead, but it'll lift the spirit
of my people!
-- Asian Dub Foundation, Assassin
%
Most men who are not married by the age of thirty-five are either
homosexual or really smart.
-- Becky Rodenbeck
%
Shoot me in the chest!
-- Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini (1883-1945) [last words]
%
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
%
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the
ones in movies.
-- Bill Bulko
%
I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast!
-- "Black Jack" Ketchum [last words]
%
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- Burrhus Frederic Skinner (1904-1990)
%
No man is wise enough, nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited
power.
-- Charles Colton
%
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow
in Australia.
~- Charles Schultz
%
Why not? After all, it belongs to Him!
-- Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin (1889-1977) [last words]
%
There is no such thing as "trusted users".
-- +Chiron+ on alt.os.linux.slackware
%
Trust no one.
-- David William Duchovny (1960-) as Fox Mulder
-- from Chris Carter (1956-), The X Files
%
In most of my work, the laws of physics rarely seems to apply.
-- David William Duchovny (1960-) as Fox Mulder
-- from Chris Carter (1956-), The X Files
%
I don't understand why cheerleaders won't talk to me. Maybe I don't throw
five touchdowns against Newport High, but let's see one of those football
morons program in assembly language!
-- Chris Lipe
%
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it,
and get a new one every six months.
-- Clifford Stoll
%
Many subjects aren't fun. I wonder how the fun-to-learn teacher handles
the Holocaust, Rape of Nanking, or American slavery...
-- Clifford Stoll
%
The authority of the calculator dulls our critical sense... how do you
grade a student who says that two-thirds times three is 1.9999999?
-- Clifford Stoll
%
With a computer, you're interacting with something, not someone.
-- Clifford Stoll
%
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-- Clifford Stoll
%
My nie damy rady?!
-- Corwin
%
Źle, źle zawsze i wszędzie.
-- Cyprian Kamil Norwid (1821-1883), Moja Pioseka [I]
%
Innego końca świata nie będzie.
-- Czesław Miłosz (1911-2004), Piosnka o końcu świata
%
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
-- 14th Dalai Lama (1935-)
%
My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
-- 14th Dalai Lama (1935-)
%
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
-- 14th Dalai Lama (1935-)
%
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for
complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the
philosophy is kindness.
-- Dalai Lama
%
I may have invented control-alt-delete, but Bill Gates made it really
famous.
-- David Bradley (1949-)
%
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius
to understand the simplicity.
-- Dennis MacAlistair Ritchie (1941-)
%
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and
when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
-- Dick Brandon
%
Why should I go where everyone goes?
Why should I do what everyone does?
-- Die Toten Hosen, Pushed Again
%
I hope, Buddha doesn't exist - one life is pain enough
-- deadflesh @ #unix @ IRCNet
%
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people
very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Noel Adams (1952-2001)
%
In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates?
-- Dino Esposito
%
Nie jestem wariatem, jestem samolotem.
-- Dogbert
%
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried
it.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-)
%
The hardest thing is to go to sleep at night, when there are so many
urgent things needing to be done.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-)
%
A huge gap exists between what we know is possible with today's machines
and what we have so far been able to finish.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-)
%
The psychological profiling [of a programmer] is mostly the ability to
shift levels of abstraction, from low level to high level. To see
something in the small and to see something in the large.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-)
%
Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has
been sorted with the help of a computer.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-)
%
The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A
language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a
very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-) [attrib.]
%
An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
-- Donald Ervin Knuth (1938-) [attrib.]
%
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your
regular duties
-- Doug Larson
%
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions,
including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
-- Doug Larson
%
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to
change the locks.
-- Doug Larson
%
Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too
fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
-- Eddie Cantor (1892-1964)
%
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about
telescopes.
-- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930-2002)
%
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of
whether submarines can swim.
-- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930-2002)
%
Learning BASIC causes permanent brain damage.
-- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930-2002)
%
Teaching BASIC should be a criminal offense.
-- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930-2002)
%
Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to
show their absence.
-- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930-2002)
%
Such is life.
-- Edward "Ned" Kelly (1854[?]-1880) [last words]
%
Masochizm wynika z niewiedzy.
-- Edward Stachowski
%
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Green Hubbard (1856-1915)
%
To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards out of men.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919)
%
Stopień ucywilizowania społeczności najlepiej ocenić poznając ich
kryminalistów.
-- Fiodor Michajłowicz Dostojewski (1821-1881)
%
The essence of war is violence. Moderation in war is imbecility.
-- Fisher
%
The reason that there are so few good conversationalists is that most
people are thinking about what they are going to say and not about what the
others are saying.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
Those who spend too much time on the little things usually become
incapable of great ones.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
How can we expect others to keep our secrets if we cannot keep them
ourselves?
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
Only great men have great faults.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
It is never more difficult to speak well than when one is ashamed to be
silent.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
Spory nie trwałyby tak długo, gdyby brak słuszności był tylko po jednej
stronie.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) [attrib.]
%
I have a terrible headache.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945) [last words]
%
The Earth is suffocating... Swear to make them cut me open, so that
I won't be buried alive.
-- Frederic Chopin (1810-1849) [last words]
%
A jednak się kręci!
-- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
%
Wolność oznacza odpowiedzialność. Dlatego większość ludzi się jej boi.
-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
%
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did, not
screaming like the passengers who were in his car...
-- George Burns
%
Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
-- Lorde George Gordon Byron (1788-1824) [last words]
%
Don't try to do it. Do it or don't do it.
-- Yoda from Gorge Walton Lucas, Jr. (1944-), Star Wars
%
Ucz się na cudzych błędach. Życie jest za krótkie, abyś zdążył je
wszystkie popełnić.
-- Gilbert Becaud (1927-2001)
%
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs.
-- Glaser and Way
%
Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man who doesn't spend
time with his family can never be a real man.
-- Marlon Brando (1924-2004) as Don Vito Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.
-- Marlon Brando (1924-2004) as Don Vito Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can
be careless. But not men.
-- Marlon Brando (1924-2004) as Don Vito Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking.
-- Marlon Brando (1924-2004) as Don Vito Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
-- Marlon Brando (1924-2004) as Don Vito Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
Never hate your enemies. It clouds your judgement.
-- Al Pacino (1940-) as Michael Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
-- Al Pacino (1940-) as Michael Corleone
-- from The Godfather
%
Komisja to zespół, który tylko wtedy jest w stanie coś zdziałać, gdy
składa się z trzech osób, z których jedna jest chora, a druga nieobecna.
-- H. van Loon
%
Aby czuć się wolnym istnieje prosty sposób: nie szarpać i nie napinać
smyczy.
-- Hans Krailsheimer
%
That was a great game of golf, fellers.
-- Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby (1903-1977) [last words]
%
Take my wife. Please.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world.
This is a paid Political announcement.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
If there's never been a suicide in your family, why don't you break the
monotony?
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness
whenever you go.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New
York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't
do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
I asked a Jewish man "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said
"Yes", and walked away.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm
selling dope.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got
out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single."
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a
week.
-- Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
%
Die, my dear doctor, that's the last thing I shall do!
-- Henry John Temple (1784-1865)
%
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
-- Hoare's Dictum
%
Kiedy płonie dom sąsiadów, stawką jest twój własny dom.
-- Horacy (65BC-8BC)
%
If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the
shoulders of giants.
-- Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
%
That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or
subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have
gotten.
-- Skinner's Constant (or Flannagan's Finagling Factor or
Stałe Janosika)
%
God is Real, unless declared Integer.
-- J. Allan Toogood
%
- We are but packets in the Internet of life.
- Amen, brother.
-- J. D. Frazer (1965-), UserFriendly
%
One Ping to rule them all, One Ping to find them,
One Ping to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
-- J. D. Frazer (1965-), UserFriendly
%
There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.
-- J. H. Goldfuss
%
Houston, we have a problem.
-- James A. Lovell, Jr. (1928-)
%
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true.
-- James Branch Cabell (1879-1958)
%
I can't sleep.
-- Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937) [last words]
%
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
-- Janet Reno (1938-)
%
Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards
me, without hurrying.
-- Jean Maurice Eugene Clement Cocteau (1889-1963) [last words]
%
Dziwne jest to życie... Jesteśmy małymi dziećmi, a nazajutrz mamy 50 lat,
a całe dzieciństwo możemy zamknąć w małym zardzewiałym pudełeczku.
-- Dominique Bretodeau
-- from Jean-Pierre Jeunet (1953-)
Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (a.k.a. Amelie)
%
Życie, to tylko niekończąca się próba przedstawienia, które nigdy się nie
odbędzie.
-- from Jean-Pierre Jeunet (1953-)
Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (a.k.a. Amelie)
%
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
-- Jeff Pesis
%
Just 100 more lines of code...
-- Dwayne Duncan
-- from Jeffrey T. Darlington, General Protection Fault
%
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We
don't believe this to be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson
%
Dammit... Don't you dare ask God to help me.
-- Joan Crawford (1904-1977) [last words]
%
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
-- Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971)
%
He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who
does as an adult has no brain.
-- John Moore
%
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see.
-- John Winston Ono Lennon (1940-1980)
%
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you,
if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
-- John Winston Ono Lennon (1940-1980)
%
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-- John Winston Ono Lennon (1940-1980)
%
Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that
people own it.
-- John Winston Ono Lennon (1940-1980)
%
Fixing Unix is easier than living with NT.
-- Jonathan Gilpin
%
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution
inevitable.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917-1963)
%
Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917-1963)
%
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the
few who are rich.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917-1963)
%
War is the science of destruction.
-- Sir John Joseph Caldwell Abbott (1821-1893)
%
Wielu spośród żyjących zasługuje na śmierć. A niejeden z tych, którzy
umierają, zasługują na życie. Czy możesz ich nim obdarzyć? Nie bądź więc
tak pochopny w ferowaniu wyroków śmierci. Nawet bowiem najmądrzejszy z
Mędrców nie wszystko wie.
-- Gandalf
-- from John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892-1973), Władca Pierścieni
%
Chcieliśmy dobrze, a wyszło jak zawsze...
-- Joseph Stalin (1879-1953) [attrib.]
%
Veni, vidi, vici.
-- Julius Caesar (100BC-44BC)
%
Alea iacta est.
/The die is cast./
-- Julius Caesar (100BC-44BC)
%
Et tu, Brute?
-- Julius Caesar (100BC-44BC) [last words]
%
Ciemność, widzę ciemność, ciemność widzę.
-- Maks (Jerzy Sthur)
-- from Juliusz Machulski (1955-), Seksmisja
%
Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.
-- Karl Lehenbauer
%
Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!
-- Karl Heinrich Marx (1818-1883) [last words]
%
Wierzę, że Pan jednak mnie nie opuści.
Jakby miał wzrok taką zdobycz wypuścić.
Pan, ale który pytasz się zdziwiony.
Otóż ten jeden z odpowiedniej strony.
-- from Kazik Staszewski (1963-), Poznaj swój raj
%
Chcecie mnie powiesić, to mnie powieście.
-- from Kazik Staszewski (1963-), Poznaj swój raj
%
Hitler powtarzał też, że nie chce wojny wcale.
-- from Kazik Staszewski (1963-), Mars napada
%
When in doubt, use brute force.
-- Kenneth Lane Thompson (1943-)
%
One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code.
-- Kenneth Lane Thompson (1943-)
%
Najsłabszym ogniwem w każdym systemie bezpieczeństwa są ludzie.
-- Kevin David Mitnick (1963-)
%
When all else fails, read the instructions.
-- L. Iasellio
%
Only human.
-- Agent Brown
-- from Larry & Andy Wachowski, The Matrix
%
There is no spoon.
-- Spoon Boy
-- from Larry & Andy Wachowski, The Matrix
%
Do you think that's air you're breathing now?
-- Morpheus
-- from Larry & Andy Wachowski, The Matrix
%
Choice is an ilusion created between those with a power and those without.
-- Romero Vinci
-- from Larry & Andy Wachowski, The Matrix
%
And I don't like doing silly things (except on purpose).
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
/* And you'll never guess what the dog had */
/* in its mouth... */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in stab.c from the perl source code
%
Because . doesn't match \n. [\0-\377] is the most efficient way to match
everything currently. Maybe \e should match everything. And \E would
of course match nothing. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Be consistent.
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in the perl man page
%
break; /* don't do magic till later */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in stab.c from the perl source code
%
#define NULL 0 /* silly thing is, we don't even use this */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in perl.c from the perl source code
%
#define SIGILL 6 /* blech */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in perl.c from the perl source code
%
double value; /* or your money back! */
short changed; /* so triple your money back! */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in cons.c from the perl source code
%
echo "Congratulations. You aren't running Eunice."
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in Configure from the perl distribution
%
echo $package has manual pages available in source form.
echo "However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you."
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in Configure from the perl distribution
%
echo "Your stdio isn't very std."
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in Configure from the perl distribution
%
I don't know if it's what you want, but it's what you get. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
If I don't document something, it's usually either for a good reason,
or a bad reason. In this case it's a good reason. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
if (instr(buf,sys_errlist[errno])) /* you don't see this */
-- Larry Wall (1954-) in eval.c from the perl source code
%
I think it's a new feature. Don't tell anyone it was an accident. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-) on s/foo/bar/eieio
%
It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Just don't create a file called -rf. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
There are probably better ways to do that, but it would make the parser
more complex. I do, occasionally, struggle feebly against complexity... :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Odd that we think definitions are definitive. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
The computer should be doing the hard work. That's what it's paid to do,
after all.
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Even the White House has a press agent. :-)
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at
some Perl 4 code, and said, "What is that, swearing?"
-- Larry Wall (1954-)
%
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Jose Doroteo Arango Arambula (1878-1923) [last words]
%
Shall we play a game?
-- Joshua (the computer)
-- from Lawrence Lasker, Walter F. Parkes, WarGames (1983)
%
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice
game of chess?
-- Joshua (the computer)
-- from Lawrence Lasker, Walter F. Parkes, WarGames (1983)
%
Mr McKitrick, After a careful consideration I have came to the
conclution that your defencesystem SUCKS!
-- from Lawrence Lasker, Walter F. Parkes, WarGames (1983)
%
Mówca powinien wyczerpać temat, nie słuchaczy.
-- Sir Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)
%
No one can guarantee success in war, but only deserve it.
-- Sir Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)
%
When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
-- Sir Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)
%
I'm bored with it all.
-- Sir Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965) [last words]
%
The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants and for
peace like retarded pygmies.
-- Lester Bowles Pearson (1897-1972)
%
Gdy filozof dojdzie do końca drogi do mądrości, dowiaduje się rzeczy,
jakie ludzie prości i mądrzy wiedzieli od zawsze.
-- Leszek Kołakowski (1927-)
%
Jak odmienny sens mogą mieć identycznie brzmiące twierdzenia, umieszczone
w różnych doktrynach.
-- Leszek Kołakowski (1927-)
%
Kotki mają ten bardzo niedogodny zwyczaj (zauważyła pewnego razu Alicja),
że cokolwiek im powiesz, one zawsze mruczą. Gdyby mruczały tylko zamiast
"tak", a miauczały zamiast "nie", lub według jakiejś podobnej
zasady -powiedziała Alicja, -wtedy można byłoby prowadzić rozmowę. Lecz
jak możesz rozmawiać z kimś, kto zawsze mówi to samo?
-- from Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, 183-1898),
Through the Looking Glass
%
Dijkstra probably hates me.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) in kernel/sched.c v1.1.42
%
My name is Linus, and I am your God.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important stuff on
ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small
children.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
The Linux philosophy is to laugh in face of danger.
Oops. Wrong one. 'Do it yourself' That's it
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
Talk is cheap. Show me the code.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get
a high grade for such a design :-)
-- Andrew Tanenbaum (wrote Minix) to Linus Torvalds
%
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good
excuse for some of the brain-damages of Minix.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) to Andrew Tanenbaum (wrote Minix)
%
Note that nobody reads every post in linux-kernel. In fact, nobody who
expects to have time left over to actually do any real kernel work will
read even half. Except Alan Cox, but he's actually not human, but about a
thousand gnomes working in under-ground caves in Swansea. None of the
individual gnomes read all the postings either, they just work together
really well.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the
Hurd people.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
If you still don't like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know
better than you do.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies
the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry
penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful
about what they say if they had.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
I'm an idiot.. At least this one [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) in response to a bug report
%
If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of
different places, just write a Unix operating system.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-)
%
I'd rather listen to Newton than to Mundie. He may have been dead for
almost three hundred years, but despite that he stinks up the room less.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) on MS executive Craig Mundie
%
Software is like sex; it's better when it's free.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) [attrib.]
%
How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I only
coded it.
-- Linus Benedict Torvalds (1969-) [attrib.]
%
Those who can't hear the music think the dancers are insane.
-- Lord Templeton Judgement
%
Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827) [last words]
%
Ala ma kota.
-- Marian Falski (1881-1974)
%
Kiedy mam oczekiwac procesu za zniewazanie symboli religijnych przez
publiczne uzywanie znaku dodawania?
-- Marek Szyjewski
%
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are,
you aren't.
-- Margaret Hilda Thatcher (1925-)
%
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing
conditions.
-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
%
Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it
and remove all doubt.
-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
%
Nothing good ever comes of violence.
-- Martin Luther (1483-1546)
%
[reason] is the Devil's greatest whore.
-- Martin Luther (1483-1546)
%
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation
where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content
of their character.
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
%
And I submit to you that if a man has not discovered something that he
will die for, he isn't fit to live.
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
%
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence
of our friends.
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) [attrib.]
%
Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God.
In a booming voice, He says: "This is a sign. Use Linux, the free UNIX
system for the 386."
-- Matt Welsh
%
Take a look to the sky just before you die.
-- from Metallica, For Whom The Bell Tolls
%
Before you judge me take a look at you.
-- from Metallica, Holier Than Thou
%
To secure peace is to prepare for war.
-- from Metallica, Don't Tread on Me
%
Life is ours, we live it our way
-- from Metallica, Nothing Else Matters
%
Careful what you wish,
Careful what you say,
Careful what you wish,
You may regret it,
Careful what you wish,
You just might get it.
-- from Metallica, King Nothing
%
Kill, it's such a friendly word,
Seems the only way,
For reaching out again
-- from Metallica, Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
%
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the
rest of your life.
-- Michael Sinz
%
Życie to jedna wielka mistyfikacja.
-- Michał Pawel Nazarewicz (1986-)
%
Tandeta nad tandetami i wszystko tandeta.
-- Michał Pawel Nazarewicz (1986-)
%
Kiedy nie będę mógł programować, nadejdzie czas na śmierć.
-- Michał Pawel Nazarewicz (1986-)
%
Bateryjki!... Wszystko bateryjki!... Zdaje im się, że robią, co chcą, a
robią tylko, co im każe system, tak ślepy jak one...
-- Michał Pawel Nazarewicz (1986-)
%
A niechaj narodowie wżdy postroni znają, że Polacy nie gęsi, iż swój język
mają.
-- Mikołaj Rej (1505-1569)
%
Bo zawżdy ci więcej jedzą, którzy bliżej misy siedzą.
-- Mikołaj Rej (1505-1569)
%
Look at things what we created, I'm not proud what we have done
-- from Narnia, Angels are Crying
%
That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.
-- Neil Armstrong (1930-)
%
Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.
-- Neil Armstrong (1930-)
%
Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.
-- Nicholas Negroponte (1943-)
%
Isn't it odd how parents grieve if their child spends six hours a day on
the 'Net, but are delighted if those same hours are spent reading books?
-- Nicholas Negroponte (1943-)
%
Prawdziwy chomik musi w życiu zrobić trzy rzeczy: najeść się, wyspać się i
zdechnąć.
-- NiTa
%
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
-- Norm Schryer
%
Get these fucking nuns away from me.
-- George Norman Douglas (1868-1952) [last words]
%
They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore.
-- Olav Mjelde
%
Give me coffee, I'm going to write.
-- Olavo Braz Martins dos Guimaraes Bilac (1865-1918) [last words]
%
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
%
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take
exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
%
The Only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is
pretty, and to someone else, if she is plain.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), The Importance of Being Earnest
%
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use
to oneself.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), An Ideal Husband
%
Sooner or later we have all to pay for what we do.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), An Ideal Husband
%
I love talking about nothing, father. It is the only thing I know
anything about.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), An Ideal Husband
%
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover
everything except the obvious.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), An Ideal Husband
%
My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of
us has to go.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [last words]
%
A true friend stabs you in the front
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
I have nothing to declare except my Genius.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
My own business bores me to death. I prefer other people's.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
No man is rich enough to buy back his own past.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
What a pity that in life we only get our lessons when they are of no use
to us.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) [attrib.]
%
+ /*
+ * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
+ * this makes the year come out right.
+ */
+ year -= 42;
-- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c),
submitted by Marcus Meissner
%
Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?
-- Patrick J. Volkerding
%
God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on
with the prime numbers.
-- Paul Erdos (1913-1996)
%
UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is
a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus.
-- Peter H. Coffin
%
Są rzeczy na niebie i ziemi, o których nie śniło się filozofom. Większość
z nich jest w Polsce.
-- Piotr Bałtroczyk
%
Trzeba milczeć albo mówić rzeczy lepsze od milczenia.
-- Pitagoras (VI BC)
%
Nie zapowiadaj tego, co zamierzasz uczynić, bo jeśli ci się nie uda,
wyśmieją cię.
-- Pittakos
%
Only the dead have seen the end of word.
-- Plato (427 BC-347 BC)
%
Człowiekiem jestem i nic co ludzkie nie jest mi obce.
-- Publius Terentius Afer (II BC)
%
-Butch, whose motorcycle is this?
-It's a chopper.
-Whose chopper is this?
-Zed's.
-Who's Zed?
-Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead.
-- from Quentin Tarantino (1963-), Pulp Fiction
%
-Everybody be cool this is a robbery!
-Any of you fuckin' pricks move and I'll execute every one of you
motherfuckers! Got that?
-- from Quentin Tarantino (1963-), Pulp Fiction
%
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the
inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will,
shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly
his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious
anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.
-- Jules
-- from Quentin Tarantino (1963-), Pulp Fiction
%
It has to start somewhere,
It has to start sometime,
What better place then here?
What better time than now?
All hell can't stop us now!
-- from Rage Against the Machine, Guerilla Radio
%
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader
something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of
content in your writing.
-- Randy Keith Milholland
%
Sometimes people do things that hurt and it's not because they mean to.
They just do. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, but you
end up hurt because of it.
-- Randy Keith Milholland
%
I think I'm going to make it!
-- Richard Loeb [last words]
%
Love your country, but never trust its government.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any
other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its
worst.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years
will increase to more than $l00,000,000-by which time it will be worth
nothing.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
A generation which ignores history has no past-and no future.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
Then do it.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is
a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make
messes in the house.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be
courageous. (He is also a fool.)
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one
man. How's that again? I missed something.
Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million
men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null
word.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988)
%
Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988) [attrib.]
%
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs.
-- Robert Firth
%
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-- Robert R. Coveyou,
%
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
-- Robert Orben (1927-)
%
Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot.
-- Rusty Russell
%
Jedyna różnica między mną a wariatem to fakt, że nie jestem wariatem.
-- Salvador Domenec Felip Jacint Dalí Domenech (1904-1989)
%
Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like trying to diagnose brain
cancer with a pointy stick.
-- Mr_Saturn
%
Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.
-- Seymour Roger Cray (1925–1996)
%
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt?
-- Socrates (470BC-399BC) [last words]
%
I'm going to live forever, or die trying!
-- Spider Robinson (1948-) [attrib.]
%
(...) pewne zjawiska w najmniejszej skali zachodzą sposobem jakby
kredytowym. Mezony, te cząsteczki elementarne, naruszają czasem prawa
zachowania, lecz czynią to tak niesłychanie szybko, że go nie naruszają
prawie. To, co zakazane prawami fizyki, czynią błyskawicznie, jak gdyby
nigdy nic, i zaraz potem znowu poddają się tym prawom. (...) a co, jeśliby
Kosmos w skali największej zrobił to samo? Jeżeli mezony mogą tak się
zachować w ułamku sekundy tak drobnym, że cała sekunda jest przy nim
wiecznością, Kosmos, ze względu na swe rozmiary, musiałby się w ów zakazany
sposób zachować odpowiednio dłużej. Na przykład przez piętnaście miliardów
lat...
-- from Stanisław Lem (1921-2006), Dzienniki Gwiazdowe
%
Dopóki nie skorzystałem z Internetu, nie wiedziałem, że na świecie jest
tylu idiotów
-- Stanisław Lem (1921-2006)
%
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether
impossible.
-- Stanisław Lem (1921-2006)
%
(...) była to wielka i niezmiernie pracowita, na wiele stron maszynopisu
rozłożona brednia (...)
-- Stanisław Lem (1921-2006)
%
Im bardziej zaawansowane technicznie (doskonalsze!) medium, tym bardziej
prymitywne, błahe i bezużyteczne wiadomości są przy jego pomocy
przekazywane.
-- Stanisław Lem (1921-2006)
%
-Ja się tu chyba powieszę -pomyślał. Nie wpadło mu do głowy, że wobec
braku ciążenia nawet takie wyjście nie jest możliwe.
-- from Stanisław Lem (1921-2006), Opowieści o pilocie Pirxie
%
Nikt nic nie czyta, a jeśli czyta, to nic nie rozumie, a jeśli nawet
rozumie, to nic nie pamięta.
-- from Stanisław Lem (1921-2006), Opowieści o pilocie Pirxie
%
Nie wiedziałem, że będę pisał wtedy książki. Nie przyszło mi do głowy.
To się stało niechcący.
-- from Stanisław Lem (1921-2006)
%
Trzeba się uczyć, a nie chodzić do szkoły.
-- Stanisław Lipiński
%
A ponieważ czuję się jeszcze mniej kompetentny, chętnie się wypowiem.
-- Stanisław Tym (1937-)
%
We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you
work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.
-- Steve Jobs (1955-)
%
If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly
be right.
-- Steve Jobs (1955-)
%
Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them
quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.
-- Steve Jobs (1955-) [attrib.]
%
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to
them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.
-- Steve Jobs (1955-) [attrib.]
%
You know, we don't grow most of the food we eat. We wear clothes other
people make. We speak a language that other people developed. We use a
mathematics that other people evolved... I mean, we're constantly taking
things. It's a wonderful, ecstatic feeling to create something that puts
it back in the pool of human experience and knowledge.
-- Steve Jobs (1955-) [attrib.]
%
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
-- Steve Woźniak (1950-)
%
Wherever smart people work, doors are unlocked.
-- Steve Woźniak (1950-) [attrib.]
%
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their
feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a
satellite picture.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't
obey.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called
information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've
forgotten this before.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said,
"Wish you were here."
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay
right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
I think it's wrong that the game Monopoly is made by only one company.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Half the people you know are below average.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn
louder.'
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
-- Steven Wright (1955-)
%
Not with dreams but with blood and iron, shall a nation be moulded at
last.
-- Swinburne
%
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but
that men will begin to think like computers.
-- Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
%
Anyone who slaps a 'this page is best viewed with Browser X' label on a
Web page appears to be yearning for the bad old days, before the Web, when
you had very little chance of reading a document written on another
computer, another word processor, or another network.
-- Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee (1955-)
%
Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
-- Thomas Andrew Lehrer (1928-)
%
It's people like that who make you realize how little you've accomplished.
It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had
been dead for two years.
-- Thomas Andrew Lehrer (1928-)
%
Maybe we are short of offensive fortunes.
-- Thomas Overgaard on alt.os.linux.slackware
%
Why not?
-- Timothy Leary [last words]
%
Pożyteczna praca jest zawsze cicha i niezauważalna.
-- Tołstoj
%
I don't even have an e-mail address. I have reached an age where my main
purpose is not to receive messages.
-- Umberto Eco (1932-)
%
Because I felt like killing a Monk.
-- Umberto Eco (1932-) [attrib.]
(asked why he wrote The Name of the Rose)
%
Jesus Christ, who are these people?
-- William Henry Gates III (1955-)
%
A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
-- William Ramsey Clark (1927-) [attrib.]
%
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-- from William Shakespeare (1564-1616)), Macbeth
%
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
-- Forrest Gump's mom
-- from Winstion Groom (1944-), Forrest Gump
%
I guess sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.
-- Forrest Gump
-- from Winstion Groom (1944-), Forrest Gump
%
There's many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but, boys, it
is all hell.
-- Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman (1820-1891)
%
To takie typowo polskie. Jak coś to ten, a jak ten to ten.
-- Wojciech Boratyński (1967-)
%
Mógłbym być waszym ojcem, gdybym się postarał.
-- Wojciech Boratyński (1967-)
%
No co? Każdy się kiedyś urodził.
-- Wojciech Boratyński (1967-)
%
Może i tak nie jest, ale w gruncie rzeczy tak jest.
-- Wojciech Boratyński (1967-)
%
- Czyli jestem euroentuzjastą?
- No nie chcę cię obrazić.
-- Wojciech Boratyński (1967-)
%
I don't mind your thinking slowly; I mind your publishing faster than you
think.
-- Wolfgang Ernst Pauli (1900-1958) [attrib.]
%
Herbata od mieszania nie zrobi się słodsza, w tym celu bowiem trzeba
dosypać cukru.
-- Zygmunt Mycielski (1907-1987)
%
/* You are not expected to understand this */
-- comment in the context-switching code of the V6 Unix kernel
%
Welcome to DALNet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the
teenage girls are undercover FBI Agents!
-- DALNet IRC Welcome Message
%
It is inappropriate to require that a time represented as seconds since
the Epoch precisely represent the number of seconds between the referenced
time and the Epoch.
-- IEEE Std 1003.1b-1993 (POSIX) Section B.2.2.2
%
recursion n.: See Recursion
-- The Jargon File
%
Vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas.
/Marność nad marnościami i wszystko marność./
-- Księga Koheleta
%
No! I distinctly said 'Tie Strap A to hook B', it's not my fault if you
matched up the letters.
-- Overheard at the NASA Control Room
%
If we built this large wooden badger...
-- Overheard at the NASA Control Room
%
How many times did I tell those Italian guys that pasta makes a bad tether?!
-- Overheard at the NASA Control Room
%
Columbia, please repeat, sounded like you said 'OOPS'.
-- Overheard at the NASA Control Room
%
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
-- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary
%
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is
doing it.
-- The Roman Rule
%
It works, sort of.
-- Xerox Labs, 1973
%
The world is coming to an end! Repent and return those library books!
%
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr
Segmentation violation -- Core dumped
%
Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts
16,384 local variables in a function!
%
Stallman: God told me I programmed the best editor in the world!
Torvalds: Well, God told *me* that I programmed the best OS in the world!
Knuth: Wait, wait - I never said that.
%
The world is going for shut down. Please log off.
%
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary
and those that don't.
%
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary,
those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary.
%
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
%
It is ridiculous claiming that video games influence children. For
instance, if Pac-man affected kids born in the eighties, we should by now
have a bunch of teenagers who run around in darkened rooms and eat pills
while listening to monotonous electronic music.
%
UNIX is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends
are.
%
In 1945, peace broke out.
%
Don't take life too seriously: it isn't permanent.
%
The software said it requires Win95 or better, so I installed Linux.
%
Linux, WinNT, MS-DOS - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
%
Linux: The choice of a GNU generation
%
Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
%
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware
%
Linux: Where do you want to fly today?
%
Computers are like airconditioners - they stop working properly if you
open Windows.
%
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk ?
%
Jak kraść to miliony, jak ruch*ć to księżniczki, a jak Linux to Slackware.
%
If you think of MS-DOS as mono, and Windows as stereo, then Linux is Dolby
Pro-Logic Surround Sound with Bass Boost and all the music is free.
%
God, root, what's the difference?
%
Jak rządzi się siwatem i prowadzi go do wojen? Politycy okłamują
dziennikarzy, a gdy przeczytają te kłamstwa w gazetach, zaczynają w nie
wierzyć.
%
Ludzie są jak Windows: Każdy ma jakiegoś wirusa.
%
Może dla świata jesteś nikim, ale dla kogoś możesz być całym światem.
%
Nie należy się gniewać na bieg wypadków, nic ich to bowiem nie obchodzi.
%
Z prawdziwą miłościa jest tak jak z pojawieniem się duchów; wszyscy o nich
mówią, ale mało kto je widział.
%
Człowiek jest jedynym stworzeniem, które za nędzną opłatę pomaszeruje, by
morodować nieznanych sobie ludzi, którzy mu nic złego ne uczynili i z
którymi nie ma żadnych sporów.
%
Na początku był chaos i tak już zostało.
%
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire,
and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
%
To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
%
Bądź czujny, root nie śpi!
%
Hey, ISPs, leav our packets alone!
%
Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing.
%
Dobrze, czy źle - byle z nazwiskiem.
%
Lubię banery flashowe; bo ich nie widzę.
%
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
%
This system will self-destruct in five minutes.
%
jedni lubia Opera, inni Firefoxa, a jeszcze inni sciagac trojany ;)
-- Hihnt
%
Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness await thee
at its end.
%
Nobody shot me.
-- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police who had
shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint
Valentine's Day Massacre.
Only Capone kills like that.
-- George "Bugs" Moran, on the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre
The only man who kills like that is Bugs Moran.
-- Al Capone, on the Saint Valentine
%
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is it such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet and in e-mail?
%
Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
%
Ja naprawdę chciałbym zmienić świat, ale nie dali mi źródła.
%
It's better to be a geek then an idiot.
