Hello!
Oh, hello! A real person! Haha, good to meet you!
Yes! Good to meet you as well, how is everything going
Well, you know, finals and whatnot. It's not too bad this time around. But all the group projects are . . . iffy. Hard to get all our schedules to work. I guess that's typical for finals, though. Yours going any better?
Hahaha sounds like it is about the same for me Its my first semester and i will have 4 finals and the group projects are definitely iffy
Oh, yeah? I get that. It's my second semester. 4 finals is a pretty decent amount. I have 4, too.
its funny how classes judge you the most based on your ability to do an assignment in a group
Right? And a lot of the time, the project is due to things beyond your ability.
Very true
Timing, group cooperation, various motivations, and then all of that gets synthesized into a single score. Hope it works out for you.
Thanks! and same to you do you have fun plans for the summer
If you count considering a mission, then, yeah, got some fun plans. :)
Nice! Thats always good where would you want to serve if you could pick?
Oh, gosh . . . I dunno. Spanish speaking? I'd like that. Have you served already?
Yes! I have Spanish speaking would be way cool
Oh, oh! Where'd you serve? Is that too identifying? We crossing any barriers here, breaking any rules, striking any flags?
I dont know, plenty of people serve missions so its not really identifying I served in california
How's a mission different from college? Harder?
Oh thats an interesting question Um
I mean, college is way different, right? It's just an entirely different beast.
It takes a different set of social skills, college you can have many different outlets and stess relievers. On the mission its quite limited the resources you have You really have to rely on the Lord, at least i did It is pretty different but both experiences can be beneficial to the other
Yeah, I guess. I'm still considering. To be honest . . . I think about it a lot. Serving, I mean.
Yeah? What makes you want to serve?
I dunno. I'd really like to be useful to the Lord. I know He could use me. I have a knack for explaining complicated things simply enough that most anyone can understand.
Definitely, that is a fact. I have a strong testimony of that
But . . . I guess I just wonder if I'll ever, just, I don't even know.
Know that you can do good where ever you are
I know.
God works with us, so no need to worry
But they say that the real teacher is the Spirit. I'd want to teach with the Spirit every day, every hour. I'd want to be led. I'd want to have His hand over everything. But I don't really . . . know how to do that? Not really well? And I'm still learning how the Spirit speaks to me despite being a member all my life.
Those are great desires that can lead to a lot of good, I really learned how to understand the spirit on my mission I didnt know it before hand, I knew enough, but I didnt know it well I think that if you are willing, and worthy, that is enough
You really think so?
Definitely A lot of missionaries go out thinking they need to know it all, and thats not what its about You need to go willing to learn, It wont happen the first day, first week, or even in the MTC You probably wont feel like youve got it down by the end, but if you look back to where you started and if you really tried, you will see tremendous improvement
I want to improve. I want to learn. I want more than anything to do what God wants me to do.
Will you be patient? That can be the hardest part
What if I mistake being patient for being lazy?
Lazy is not doing anything, patience is when you keep trying. for example A missionary can feel like they had a prompting and follow it and lets say it doesnt lead to anything A lazy missionary will say they tried and give up A patient missionary, though it can be discouraging, will keep trying, keep listening, and waiting for the Lord Waiting for the Lord isnt always actually waiting, but doing what you can with what you have
I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but . . . why does it seem like it's so easy for some people?
Not a dumb question at all Some people are born with spiritual gifts. And each of us have things we need to work on. Consider what the apostles and prophets have taught on comparison being the thief of happiness
You're not wrong there.
Everyone is at a different point in their progression, what does it matter if we are at different places now? We will all, if we work at it, end up with God in the same place Also think of how its easy to live some commandments, and harder to live some others, yet it could be completely opposite for someone else The things that are the hardest to obtain are often the things we should value the most
Do you feel God gives us desires--and that simply those desires are His gifts?
desires in what way? Like to serve
Yeah, like that. Desiring after truth and righteousness. Is that a kind of blessing?
I would say so,  I think that is one of the gifts of the spirit To desire truth I may be wrong
Just curious. You know, I know you're right. The advice you've given.
No worries How would you say you know?
It can't be wrong. I remember hearing echoes of it from the Brethren. And, I don't know, it feels right. Yes, logically, but . . . I've heard logic that doesn't make sense to me. I don't know why. But I believe you.
:) That brings a sweet spirit, I think you have it and you would be a fantastic missionary
Gosh. Heh. I . . . don't even know what to say. I feel like crying, almost. Mitchell, I won't reveal my age since we're not allowed, but know that I'm still in my first year of college. Good little Mormon girl. Followed those rules, kept a For the Strength of Youth by my side, made sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. That's how I always lived my life. I never rebelled, never wanted to rebel, and I was content to live those standards and commandments. I never had a problem with it. But the thing that would hurt me the most was the end of sacrament meetings and hearing the speaker say, "What a treat it was to feel such a sweet Spirit tonight." Or at the end of a fireside, in the prayer, "We thank Thee for Thy Spirit today." Or even those little eight-year-olds that would bear their testimony at the pulpit and say, "I know this Church is true." It would be all I could do to keep smiling and pretend like I wasn't deeply pained by it all. Because up until I was about 17 and a half, I couldn't recall a single experience where I'd felt the Spirit. I'd read all the scriptures on it, all the conference talks I could get my hands on. I read mission prep. books and all sorts of other resources I thought could help me. And for years on years, all I could think is, "What am I doing wrong?" People would say that reading the Book of Mormon is frequently what gives you your testimony, or that it certainly helps in the process. And I didn't get it. I had been reading for at least three years straight without having missed a single day and I didn't notice a thing. Morning prayers were spotty, but I prayed every night at least. I paid my tithing, I kept the Word of Wisdom, I checked all those boxes we're supposed to check, and I didn't see anything. I can't even remember how many nights I'd spent on my knees literally crying to God. Spending, oh, I don't know, half an hour, more, just pleading with Him and asking for His help to recognize His Spirit. Because there had to be something--anything--that I wasn't doing or needed to stop. And I remember ending those nights eventually to the sound of my own quiet sobs. I remember the question haunted me for so long. What's wrong with me? I genuinely questioned whether I'd been baptized correctly after a while. I hadn't felt the peace people had described, hadn't felt the warmth or the reassurance or any of those other things. I wasn't saying that God DIDN'T speak with me--but I didn't recognize it. And I remember Jan. 17th of last year. I won't go into detail because there's a lot, but I'd really really tried to get close to God for the months leading up to that date. I remember praying to God about one of my friend's little siblings and telling Him that he had been missing for about an hour, and I remember just this gentle peace. He was found a little while later. That was the first day I remember, ever, feeling the Spirit for sure.
That is beautiful
It hurt me for the longest time, though. I've learned a bit since then. Turns out, I was listening for the wrong things. I've, oh, still such a far way to go, but I know it's possible now. But . . . I still worried because I didn't know this Church was true. Believed it, yes. Hoped it was true, absolutely. But I'd get sheepish around the word "know" because I really didn't. I'd ask, "How do you know the Church is true?" and I'd hear, "The Spirit confirmed it to me." And I'd think, "Well. I guess I was expecting that, but I'm not sure what else I can do." It's not something you can force, you know?
Definitely
And, heh, it's kinda funny, but when I said I believed you, I realized that's how I felt about this Church. Do I know absolutely, completely beyond any doubt? Well, no. But I really, really do believe it. In the same way I feel my Father in heaven. It might be a while before I could comfortably say "I know," but . . . It feels right. It has a familiar ring to it.
These are all things you have known, so it should The spirit brings things to our remembrance We knew when we chose Christs plan in heaven
There are still days when I wake up in a cold fright in an existential crisis and wonder if this is actually the true Church. It doesn't happen often. But sometimes it'll strike me in random moments--like when I'm walking back to my car.
Ah man I am sorry those happen, they arnt fun. What helps me when I doubt is to remember to good moments, those times I have felt happy and peace. And I hold on to those those keep me going
I like that. :) You know, I'm not even sure what's keeping me from a mission. I asked God, and He said He'll support either decision I make--serving or not. When I worried about not being able to say "I know," He said not to worry about it. Most of the little things that concerned me either dropped out of the picture or no longer bug me.
Thats the usual answer for me too, Just trust Him :) I think you've got this if you decide to serve
Ahhh, I sure hope so. Honestly . . . I know I'd be okay. I really do.
:)
I might struggle for a bit those first few weeks, flounder on my own, learn to cook (goodness), but I'd be okay. I know a lot of people are nervous beforehand.
haha definitely, those are inevitable
Haha, no kidding! They sound fun. Little slip-ups and mistakes. But, in the whole, when I think about serving, I'm not nervous or scared or anxious at all. I don't know what's out there, but I don't fear it.
Thats a good thing I feared a few things haha
Well, haha, yeah, there are definitely things I think about. Being away from my family for so long? Eeesh, don't even get me started. It'd be a sacrifice. It really would.
Its worth it though
That's what I've heard. :)
And after, it feels like nothing
Heh, you wanna hear something else?
sure
Thinking about a possible future in serving a mission is what brings that familiar . . . assurance, I suppose you could call it. Peace is another word for it.
Thats way awesome!
It's what I believe I'm coming to learn is the Spirit.
Keep working at it, learn from it, remember it, and keep going :)
The best way I can interpret it is, "It's up to you. Go or stay--but if you decide to go, I'll be with you." Ahhh, it's all so crazy at times.
And Im pretty sure He will be with you if you stay
He will, won't He?
Its a promise he makes and its a promise you hear every Sunday
But it's so different when you feel it to be true instead of only hearing it and being told it's true.
Yeah, and to be honest, at least for me. I don't always feel it, but I always remember it. Thats also a part of the promise we hear every sunday
I'm assuming by your name "Mitchell" that you're a boy, yes? Sorry, it sounds random, I know. That means it was two years for you, yes?
That is true
It'll be a year and a half for me. Heh, my mind's still spinning about it all.
It probably will But hey, its been good talking. They are closing the library now so I will have to go in a few more minutes
Yeah, it's getting pretty late for me, too. I'm at home, but the rest of the house is asleep. Thanks for the chat, Mitchell.
Maybe another time we will connect again, Ive had a few repeats
I hope so. :) I enjoyed it.
I would say anytime, but I guess thats by chance
Really.
Have a great night
Haha, yeah, that's true.
and Keep up the faith
You, too! I will. Promise.
Talk to you later!
See you around!