Hello, hello! So nice to see a real person! Please don't quit on me.
lol its fine im here
Oh, hooray.
i am human
There's one person who refuses to talk to me. But you are human. And also not THAT human.
oh?
Yeah. I dunno why. I think I did something? I don't know what . . .
do you have an ex?
But, yeah, he closes whenever he sees my name. Hahaha, no. And even if I did, he wouldn't know me.
huh
I think it's because he's my competitor? I mean, I don't know for sure, but that's the only thing I can think.
how high on the leaderboard are you?  it doesn't even show the same name on the leaderboard as in chat
Take a wild guess.
number 1?
And we started chatting right at the beginning, so we were the only people to track. Rank 0, actually.
hahahahahahahaha
Which . . . I guess is number 1.
lol why do the ranks matter again?
They don't--unless you're shooting for the iPad. I don't think he's very happy with me. I mean, I can't really tell? I don't ever get to talk with him any more. And . . . I'm not even sure it's him. I can't see his username, right? He quits before I can do anything. I wonder if you've chatted with him. How long've you been here?
not long and probably i figure u can still pull me up even if ur in the lead
I definitely can. Contest ends in three days, though. Is that okay?
ya probably how does the entry for the prizes work though
Basically, the entry for this round is 500,000 points (though I might be wrong, so don't quote me). For the raffle, I mean. If you get that many points, you go into the raffle. Beyond that, though, I think it might be wise for you to wait till next round. Not that I'm discouraging you! Feel free to chat all you like.
ohhhhhhhhhh i think im near like 80,000 something but ive gotten that in the last two days
Yeah, that's probably accurate. 500,000 is about, um . . . three hours chat. Oh, yeah? It's mostly word count. If you talk more, your score goes up higher.
makes sense
I got something like 100,000 in forty minutes once.
woooooooooah
Sooooo, since I'm basically secure in the lead, anything you wanna talk about? I'm down for anything. (Because I talk a LOT.)
mood im currently helping my fiancee order his tux for our wedding teehee
Whoa. That's, uh. Wow. When's the wedding?
so if i disappear then ill be right back just aesthetic judgments december 21
That's so fun! Eeeee! How long have you been dating? How do you even FIND someone to marry?
I KNOW RIGHT? and its a funny story i was dating this other possessive lustful ahole (i was blind and probably had mild stockholm) and came out to byu still long distancing with the d**chebag and then while i was a byu this dude became my bestie and gave me relationship advice and tried to genuinely help detoxify the relationship bc plot twist actually wanted me to be happy and my ex just got more jealous and possessive and traumatizing so i left him for the best friend and then we dated for like 3 months before we were like "yo its been a year, we both know we marriage material lets get hitched" and now we've been dating 5 months and are two months into this whole engagement thing
That's pretty fun. I mean, not the toxic relationship. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
pardon some of the language about it i tried to stay clean
It's all right.
eh its fine i left soooooo
Well, that doesn't make what you went through any less terrible. How old are you now?
thats true im 19 wbu
Same here.
score twinsies
Hehe, yes! Definitely connecting now. But, nah, I've never dated.
oh really?
Yup! Well . . . Unless you count the friend "dates" people take you on in groups.
oh oo la la oh sorry
Hahaha, nah, I just laughed at that.
still
I mean, I've never really been interested? Like, for example, I've never kissed a guy. Ever.
:O no freaking way
Is this . . . sarcastic?
kissed any girls?
Well, I AM a girl, so, definitely no to that.
lol i didnt know your gender and like i dont judge
Yeaaah, I was just about to mention that it was 2018 and you can't be sure any more.
converts, non mormons, inactives and ish
Yeah, no, I get you. Rephrase, then: I've never kissed anybody.
haha no worries like no guys or girls i was just looking for a loophole haha
I've also never kissed an animal. Or . . . um, inanimate object? No plants?
not even a PUPPER?!
Am I missing something here? Okay, fine, dogs are cute.
lol i dunno and good
It's kinda strange, actually. My friend group from high school, when we graduated, none of us had kissed anybody else. (Except for maybe one of my friends, but I can't - remember.) The rest of us? Never dated, never did any of that. Weird, right?
lol that was my squad except i became the exception senior year
I see, I see. With that guy?
yes /that/ guy
How did that even start?
i was at a new school and lonely
That's . . . hard. I'm sorry.
he took and interest in me and introduced me to his friends because i had none (perks of moving between grades 11 and 12) made me feel like a diamond in the rough and ngl he was super sweet at first and i was his first gf but once he got a taste for physical affection it never really stopped and i dont think even he realized how emotionally manipulative and abusive he was to get it, bc i sure d idnt and so i dated him for a year and a half and wanted to marry him just had a rude awakening that the friend who talked to me when i had no one else had left and been replaced with an abusive sex monster and thats just how it is now
Has he changed since then?
and now hes aware of it and i sincerely hope he's changed i dunno we dont talk anymore
That's good, right?
he blamed me for the breakup which made everything unmanagable as trying to be civil plus its hard to be friends with someone you literally have nightmares about so idk if its good or bad
But your fiancee, he's better?
i lost a lot of friends who sided with him but it is what it is
You lost a friend over it? What . . . ? Wouldn't your friend recognize the relationship for what it was?
oh ya my fiancee is everything i didnt realize could be better nah bc in the open we were really cute and sweet like the mom and dad of our squad nominated prom king and queen cute so when he said "no shes blowing it out of proportion i didnt assault her" the squad was torn by who to believe i only talk to one or two of them anymore and about as many blocked me for my "accusations and antics"
Why didn't they believe you? Why would you make something up?
why would he hurt me?
Because . . . I don't know.
it was just a he said she said and a lot of fiery drama i hold no grudges im just glad for my fiancee
I am, too.
being with him has opened my eyes to how many things were horrifying about my last relationship that i overlooked or thought were normal he protects me and treats me like a queen
Did your ex not do that?
i thought he did but compared to how my fiancee does? naaaaaaaaah
I'm really happy that you found someone to treat you well.
thanks
Any advice, then? Since you actually made it to the marriage stage? Or, pre-marriage, at any rate.
not what i expected to be discussing in this chat but whatever lol
I've had stranger conversations.
and my advice is simple if you being unhappy makes you're partner upset (angry or even starts beating themself up in a way that makes u feel like you're inflicting pain) then run it is not you're fault you're unhappy and their reaction isn't just unhelpful it will wear you down and wear you out if they cant handle you hurting you need to leave before they hurt you bc no relationship is perfect enough for that
Does the same thing apply to friendships, do you think?
that said dont use that as an excuse to yell at them and abuse them with your negative emotions and friendships its hit and miss you definitely cant be as close, and i recommend a wall but you can still have great times together even if you dont confide in each other but if you gotta ask, dont hesitate just cut self care fam
If I may ask, since I'm not as socially adept as I ought to be, why do you recommend a wall? And does that mean it's better to avoid toxic friendships, too?
okay my cynic is about to show and its not just bc of my ex im just cynical and mildly emo anyways
Go for it.
and ya but toxic friendships have different traits and you need a wall because not everyone is like you and if you assume they're as nice as you you will get hurt used manipulated violated until ur mental health is a sadistic joke like me
People . . . people aren't really cruel like that, though, are they? People don't really mean harm.
and if you dont learn that walls are good now, by the time you do itll be too late not all but some do
Why? Why are people like that?
a long time.  a very, very long time i believed people were inherently good and to a degree i still do and i know that very few bad people know they are but some people just enjoy seeing things go their way they do what they want to make things happen how they want but no one likes complications and people are complicated
I find that so sad.
so while you might move heaven and earth for someone, they could drop you for needing a thimble moved and they wouldn't even be an anomaly its sad but its life and i still find the people who arent like that
I'm glad. And I believe you, by the way. I wish people didn't . . . do things that hurt others. And that if they did, they would rectify it. But . . . they don't always. And I don't know why. But it doesn't always happen.
but im wary bc ive met too many who are and so just if someone seems potentially toxic or less involved than you protect yourself emotionally
I'm sorry that you have to be wary.
and ya i agree with you haha nah i just wish i hadnt learned to be wary the hard way
Yeah.
if you havent noticed i wasnt one of the "cool kids" growing up haha
Which I find a downright shame. I've never understood why that happens. I've met some of the most incredible people, but, for some reason, other people just don't see them that way. And, honestly, it confuses me like nothing else. I know I haven't met you in real life, but I can't help but think you're a good person, too.
lol again because people like having a control of their lives and that means they need a control over how others can interact with their life they like things simple sometimes forcibly simple
But . . . that hurts people.
we all do it to some extent
People can be hurt very deeply, in fact. I guess you're right. I'm not an exception.
ya they can but we all need to put us first here and there (some do it too much) and those who dont put themselves first every once in a while get hurt a lot theres a fine line we all walk
I think I may fall into the latter category.
but heaven forbid if you dont try ya it sounds like you do
You wanna know something, though?
and its fine if you have a more optimistic view, i know im a little bit jaded ya?
And that's all right. I don't blame you for it, by the way.
i figured haha
I've been, ah, really deeply hurt by people who are supposed to care for me; terrified of people that were supposed to be my friends. Came to fear the people who were closest in my life.
saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame saaaaaaaaame
Yeah, you get it?
(you know i have issues because im laughing at this relatableness right now) ya i get it i get it way too effing well
Sweetheart, if I didn't laugh whenever I got hurt, my life would be a sad place indeed.
true ya no one has a darker sense of humor than the kids like us
But, here's the thing . . . for some reason, despite all the pain that really should've told me to be more cautious, I can't help it. I care about people.
I KNOW RIGHT
I just . . . can't help it. So you get it!
like i know im telling you to put walls up and crap but honestly i suck at it how do you think i let myself spend so long in that last relationship?
Hahaha, this coming from the girl who's already been in a terribly toxic relationship. Yup. Yup, I'm seeing it now. Gotcha.
yup like gurl he wasn't the first terrible person and i stayed for a YEAR AND A HALF because "if i just try a little harder i can make him happy and then i can be happy"
Oh, my gosh, I have felt that so much.
like i care a dangerous amount its a problem im jaded BECAUSE i care
That's why it's good you've found your fiancee, huh.
so ya i know how you feel yes he warns me of when to just get out before i hurt myself and hugs me when i do
Sounds like you've found someone really special. And that makes me happy.
ya i didnt think people like him were real people who feel as deeply as me deeply enough they can see when me feeling is gonna backfire
I wish that caring about others didn't ever result in us getting hurt, but I'm happy that you have a close second: having someone to tell you when to let go.
ikr its a life saver
See, it's people like you that make chatting on here worth it.
but ya caring is brutal but brutal is human haha likewise
No, seriously. I can't tell you how much I've loved talking thus far. Sure, points are great and all, but hearing things like this? Oh, it's priceless. Thank you so much. I'm sorry that you've had rough experiences.
aw thank you that really means a lot to me and nah id rather go through them than someone else
You talking openly means a lot to me, too. That's really kind of you.
i see it as one less person besides me getting screwed over and one more way to carry the people who do like maybe its kind or maybe its stupid but ive hurt to much not to do something for the people who hurt like me and anything that makes me better at that is worth it
I think if more people were like you, the world would be a very different place. For the better.
even if i do have the least functional brain on earth as a result haha thank you
I find it terrible that kind people are the ones that carry some of the most scars. And I really, really wish people like you hadn't been hurt because of caring about someone else. It shouldn't be like that. I'm not sure I'm ever going to understand why some of the grandest souls carry the worst pains. But, heh, I can't even find it within myself to wish pain on anyone, regardless the person and what they've done.
so we can understand others pain
Wouldn't it be easier if no one ever hurt, though?
christ suffered all things bc theres no other way he could really help everyone it would but then wed all be niave children with no real knowledge
There's something sanctifying in sorrow, isn't there? Something . . . I don't understand.
there is i dont think our mortal minds can be jade is priceless and i dont think its a coincidence that we call excessive cynicism jaded
I know terrible suffering can be refining for people who make it through, but what about the people who don't? What about the people who grow bitter and angry? What can we do for them?
understand why they're bitter and angry and pierce their souls with sadistic humor and then show them the good in people too remind them that even though youve been destroyed you can still love
What about people who don't care about being loved any more?
everyone loves to laugh and the more closed off they are the less i have to worry about offending them my fave opener is "dark humor is a lot like food"
(Oh, no.)
"some people dont get it"
. . . wait, is that it?
yup
Oh, my gosh. OH MY GOSH. That's so terrible. And funny.
i know right?
Why do brides wear white?
to show off the blood
Errr . . . no. To match the dishwashing appliances.
:O lol thats despicable
Right? It's one of my favorites.
how do african parents celebrate their child's first birthday
How?
putting flowers on their grave
Oh, my gosh. That's so bad.
ikr
People are gonna ask, "So what did YOU talk about?" "Uhhhhh." "Jokes?"
haha yup "who did you meet" "the most jaded chick at byu"
"Pretty nice, actually. She told me all about her ex." "Did you know she has red hair? I mean, she probably doesn't, but she could!" "She'll be married soon. Real nice couple, probably. I'm happy for 'em." Nah, but seriously, it's people like you that keep me here at all. I dunno if you've checked the leaderboard recently, but if you pull it out in a different tab, you'll notice someone just broke the 7 million marker. It's . . . almost (but not quite) pathetic how much time I've put into this. It'll be nice once it's all over to sit back, relax, and not touch this thing again for a while. But while I'm here, I'll be continually surprised by meeting people like you. People that, honestly, make it worthwhile. Really. I think I've finally put enough distance between me and second place for him to back down. (That iPad is mine, number two, so don't even think about taking it.) And . . . actually, I'm starting to feel worn out. Long day and all. I might call it quits soon. I don't want to till you get back, though. If nothing else, I'd like to at least say good bye. It's been an absolute pleasure to get to know you.
sorry
Hehe, it's fine! I know you're busy.
was discussing wedding things again im back
Wedding things are amazing. I'm curious, though. How many people have you talked to?
lol i wont ditch for too long and i think almost all the people on here at least once
Wow, really?
yeah i think
How do you have so few points?
congrats on the 7 mill and i get distracted a people quit on me
Laaaame. I at least give people a heads up.
ikr?
But, ah, I've definitely had people do that to me. "Heeey, I'm ba--oh."
ya and since im always multitasking yuuuuuuuuuup
You're one of the few people I'd actually like to meet in real life. Like, at a gathering or something. An after-contest party? Is that a thing?
idt were allowed to give out personal info here but we could create like a code
Hehe, you're the second person to suggest using a code.
haha whats the other code
We never made one. But he suggested it. (Or she. Don't remember.)
haha mood and hm let me think something chill enough we can ask random people but with an answer only we would know oh! "where did you get your socks" and the response is "under the terrance"
But, uhhhh . . . that'd require asking a bunch of strangers random questions, da?
ya
*internal groaning*
haha sorry um arrange a time an place to then use said code?
I'm just going to pester the committee to give us a party until they either relent or ban me. Cue the banhammer!
hahahahahaha
I think it'd be cool to have a mini chit-chat gathering, you know? Just to see who participated?
true very true oh and it should have jdawgs!
Ooooh! And they could announce the macbook raffle there, too!
im genius
Plus, they could use it to get feedback from the people who chatted. What worked, what didn't work, suggestions, etc. I think they can afford it. They got some crazy big digits to fund this project. I mean, like, they can give away iPads and macbooks. They're not broke.
thats true very true unless the macbooks ran them broke which would make sense
"The good news is, we got the data. The bad news is, we had to file for bankruptcy afterwards."
mood
Holy cow. We've been talking for two hours.
wooooooah
See? I end up getting into crazy conversations, and then when I leave, I something like 300k more points. *I have
hahaha i cant wait to see mine
I'm guessing a ballpark of 150k? Maybe 200k. Or, hey, you actually talked a lot. Might even be 300k. We're gonna shoot for the moon. 400k. Oh, wait! You can sorta check. Just refresh the leaderboard and look for your name. You only need 500k this time around. For the raffle, I mean.
hahahaha
Can you tell me which rank you are? I'm betting top 15.
last i checked i was 34 i have no idea now
When was that? Ooooh, go check!
haha im literally number 15 you were exactly right
WOOT Today is a good day. Wow. That means you got something like 200,000 from this conversation.
truly, ambitious firebrick akbash and thats truly holy cow
Right back atcha, um, creative wisteria common loon?
L O L
Well. I think it's time to go jam on the piano or something. Sitting down for so long as baaaaad. Like a sheep, but worse.
fair enough ill just do more homework haha
I can leave the window open if you like. Unless you're wanting to chat with others. I don't really mind.
haha nah ill just chat around
Okay! I'm glad. I hope you find someone else chatty.
haha thank you see you around
And hopefully less interested in your terrible dating stories. Yup! See you around!
haha its fine
It's been so fun. Good luck, okay?
its been real its been fun
With everything.
its been real fun
Real fun indeed.
you too!
D'aw, thanks! Okay, okay, I'll head off. Byyyyyye!
byyyyyyyye