oh my goodness. If you are chit chatter23 or JK you guys are going off like mad
Hello, hello! It's so nice to finally see another person!
hahahah
Wait, what? What happened?
and there we go you guys have so many points....
I've played a lot with--WAIT. No no, top can't be chitchatter. He actually talks to me. Top dog refuses to talk to me.
Yeah?
Yup.
Well...I won't be disclosing anything
I know it's him. Hehe. You wanna hear what's happening?
I think my spreadsheet is pretty accurate with the names.
Also, bless your fast typing speeds. Oh, really? I could be wrong.
but if that's true, he's doing the right thing to keep his spot that's the major flaw in this game
I know that, but it's still frustrating, yeah. You wanna hear what I know?
How's prepping for the mission?? Are you working now or still just typing away like crazy yeah tell me anything!
I have a little side gig, but nothing crazy. As per mission, um, it's still four months away. Yup Anyway. So, the top chatter refuses to talk to me. I think. I haven't confirmed, but I think it's him.
Yeah, tell me what you know!
Every time I've been waiting for a while and then someone hops on, I'll say a quick hello, and then someone'll close the chat. I don't know who it is. I've never seen the username.
I'm just playing to get the raffle. I'll go for the iPad in the last round probably
That's smart. We're kinda, um, dominating right now. I could help you!
yeah you are!!
You can chat with me, and when I get that iPad--I will WIN, no doubt--then it'll all work out.
at the moment my time is worth more than the ipad....
But, yes, he refuses to talk. Exactly.
hahah yeah
Midterms and whatnot.
I'm just going to chat with a friend next time we're going to go at a rate of 300k a day
That's smart. Hopefully someone who can keep up with you.
and talk to no one else then he'll win the next time
300k a day, huh? That's about, uh, an hour of talking. I like that plan. Share the bounty. It'll be good.
yeah, not too bad. But that's assuming total focus and decent typing
Yeah, true.
oh and also!! Ever since you said something about my typing, I've actually put in some time to make it faster I've fixed some bad habits
Really? Holy cow. You already spoke faster than me.
yeah, I've upped it about 20 wpm since
I dont' know how you can type faster. WHAT. That's not possible.
It's all in the right pinky
How do you do that? That's insane? The right pinky? Like, for enter and whatnot?
I had some terrible habits with typing the p's and apostrphes
Really? And you fixed those, then?
I'd just shift my hand over and type them with my dominant fingers
Oof.
but now I'm steadily training the p to be more independent
but I don't understand. I do what you do already, and I'm still slow.
yeah!! I actually love it a lot more now
I'm glad for you. How do you go faster.
I don't have to move my hands at all to get the right keys I listen to lectures while doing typing tests
I don't understand. I've been typing at this speed for a long--what? Oh, right. you're Asian. WAIT. I have questions for you.
yep! Science the flip out of everything
Yes, yes! Okay, could I get some answers, then?
yeah yeah go for it!! Oh and I totally thought that you were a dude this whole time
Hehehe, nope! I'm a girl last I checked.
hahah
So! Why are all Asians great at everything? They seem to be ridiculously smart at all things.
well my identity is still a secret um I've actually put in a lot of thought into this
Have you really? I wanna hear it!
It comes down to a lot of factors, but the ones that I think are worth talking about 1) lack of distractions especially for international students, we don't carry the same amount of cultural baggage compared to actual Americans
What do you mean by cultural baggage?
by that, I mean, social expectations, the need to go to things and participate
Oh.
like football games, pool parties, social activities
Does that not happen in . . . um, Asia? Really?
there's zero expectation for me to be at any of those. And so I get invited less! Which is great, because it's one less decision for me to make for my time no it does! But that's why I say that it's a advantage here you'll find that Asians in Asia are very different from the ones who live abroad
Why? I've never been to Asia.
stupid Asians exist back home haha
Or, I have, but not very long.
well it's the survival bias right?
I think you just said an oxymorong. *oxymoron I guess. But I've still never met an Asian that wasn't excellent in all things.
The type of people who risk travelling overseas have different incentives and personalities which usually make them more successful
I guess that makes sense.
so that's number one number 2? culture we are very very very result oriented
What do you mean?
over here, you get points for showing up and participating but that means squat back home. Generally, there's an expectation that if you're really doing your best, the best shouldn't be out of reach
Wait wait, do you guys not deal with depression or stuff? I know a lot of people end up not feeling loved here and commit suicide. I'm not sure we could handle your guys's lives.
with the only real expectation being physical things like sports or height etc
Things that you physically cannot help, huh? So smarts and degrees and gaming masteries are stuff you can be better at?
Yeah, developed Asian countries have some of the highest rates of suicide in the world.
Wait, what? Really? Why is that?
Academic pressures. Work-life balance etc it's really bad sometimes especially in Korea and Japan, I think
But I would've thought you guys would be used to it. You know, if it's a culture thing, then people just expect it? Why would people commit suicide about that?
Korea, which is arguably the most acadmically rigorous of all Asian countries the students there go to school for about 12 hours a day
12 hours a day?
and that really isn't an exaggeration.
And, what, do you spend your time on homework the other 6?
School, after school clubs, sports, homework, tutoring and custodial duties yeah, all of that is done at school before they go home
Oh.
no one complains because everyone else is doing the same thing China and Japan are similar, but Korea is just on a different level at the moment which is why there are so many Korean immigrants for such a small country
So is that why people are so smart over there? They get really good study habits from everyone else?
legally, a Korean person can't enroll in an international school in Korea unless they hold a foreign passport
And the expectations from everyone? Holy cow. That's strict.
so, a lot of them move overseas in an attempt to give their children better education yeah bingo.
But I thought Korean education was phenomenal. Why would you want to move to get a better education?
It is! But Korean parents know the value of good English
That's like dropping out of Harvard to go to a local university, though.
and they'll move around the world to get that for their children
Why not learn English in school, then?
to succeed in Korea as a Korean is tough that's the top of the top of the top the English program isn't good enough and it's the same as trying to learn spanish in high school
Basically people who have dedicated their entire lives and everything? Oh. I see.
they have to take English classes everyday. But how much are you actually going to learn?
But we have immersion programs. If you really wanted it, you could learn. Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, so I think those are not as widespread over there
Gotcha.
that's why they go for the full, full immersion and move! Where are you going on your mission again?
Why are you here, then? Argentina. Very much Spanish immersion.
That's epic!! I wanted to go somewhere foreign speaking so bad
Hehe, did you not? Also, you're from Hong Kong, yeah?
that's correct!
Sweet! I remembered.
but racially, I'm half Japanese and part Taiwanese
Is Hong Kong different from the Mainland? Wait, what? How does that work?
very different
I thought there were some cultural things. What's the difference?
Mum's Japanese, and Dad's half Taiwanese
And why does everyone clump Hong Kong and China together? It's all the same to us Americans.
the political structures are completely different, and for the last 100 years Hong Kong was a British Colony it's temping to clump them together, just like I would with mexico and Panama or something
Um, those two are very different.
it's an abstraction! we're too lazy to learn everything
As different as Canada and America. Yeah, yeah, I know.
but technically, right now Hong Kong IS China so
Wait, what? How is it technically China?
that distinction will probably get smaller as the centuries go on well it's like puerto rico and the US Puerto Rico is a US territory, but with their own language and government HK is somewhere in between Rhode Island and Puerto Rico
Becoming closer to Puerto Rico or Rhode Island?
Rhode Island
I see.
right now it's still like PR
Man, how is that person still chatting?
No clue. Blows my mind everyday.
I don't understand. I can never find people to talk with. Seriously, I'm so confused.
But now it's confirmed! First place wins the iPad
It is? okay, cool, I haven't wasted my time for nothing. I can't really type faster without taking a hit to my accuracy. And I don't think they want to parse through endless arrays of typos. That's just mean. So I don't know how I'm going to outrank him. It's starting to seem impossible to me.
The real trick is really to leave one conversation open forever
I'm a full .6 million away, which is about 2 hours worth of real hard chat.
and dump a bunch of words at the end
What do you mean?
so that they can't predict anything you can leave a chat open forever, but most don't because they think they will just find another person to chat with but if you can keep a convo going with the same person for the entire duration, you can just accumulate the points until the end
I don't want to mess with their data, though. I've run into a couple of ghosts, and I feel like it's wrong to abuse that. I don't want to ruin their data. I mean, I certainly could. I could be up another million right now, and that's not an exaggeration.
haha! Well it's just an idea
But I feel like . . . like it's something I shouldn't do. Hehe, I like it, though! Any more?
yeah, I've written scripts and all that
Also, do you know the username of the top player?
but I've decided against it
I can't find him. I'm sure their system appreciates it.
I ran into him, and deduced the points he should have earned and checked the rankings for the difference
I was the reason they got rid of paste, by the way. Maybe not the sole reason, but certainly the last one.
umm I'm pretty sure it's chitchatter23
No way. There's no way. chitchatter is nice to me.
I'm pretty sure
I talk to him a lot. There's no way! I was talking to chitchatter earlier today, I think.
there's just no one else who would be on here regularly apart from me and him that would not have at least 500k
And if not today, then for sure yesterday.
that's what I see
Okay, yes, that's true . . . but he always talks in little clips. I mean, you could be right. I'm not hardcore in my opinion. But, wow, that'd surprise me.
we'll find out! I'm pretty sure though haha
Top dog is ranking up right now, and I can't type any faster to outbeat him.
but I don't think he's allowed to win twice?
I hope we do! He's not, no. Well, he can, he just won't get the prize.
how excited are you for the mission
So there's no incentive to try. You know, I haven't been thinking about my mission as much as I should be. I kinda got caught up in life. I'm suddenly super aware of how little I've done. How few things I have to my name. I have a friend interning at Google right now. Or interviewing for it, at least. And he's my age. 19. Interning at Google.
oh wow haha
He already secured an internship at Vanguard. Like, how am I supposed to react to that?
yeah my cousin is starting his first year at Google
I didn't know I was supposed to be getting experience and stuff. Oh, yeah?
and his total pay package is something ridiculous like 190k
That's . . . Ughhh, see? I didn't even I could do that!
don't worry about it. That friend sounds like a super stand out
He is, I guess, but he's like me. He's human. And he's not Asian.
I'm trying everything to just get financially independent so that I don't have to be in the rat race!!
You don't like the rat race?
so that I can do stuff for fun and work for places for experience and not money
I thought all Asians did.
yeah not a fan
But, isn't it built into your DNA?
well, I'm not your typical Asian in many ways hahaah
Don't you feel the fire to be the best?
hmmm
You seem pretty dedicated to me.
I'm ultra competitive, but I've manage to keep that to myself over the last few years I compete with meeeee!
I see? What does that mean, though?
and it's raised my quality of life like crazy
(Man, if I had half your dedication, I'd have discovered a way to the moon by now.) How do you compete with yourself?
well, as any teenager, being competitive left me obsessed with other people's opinions I don't really care about any of that anymmore it's great
(I think I'm giving myself carpal tunnel with how much I'm typing.)
hahaha well, my mission did a lot for me in that respect
Really, huh? So you do stuff because you want to do stuff and that's it? And I'm glad. But what about, I don't know, being the best?
I just did not want to get caught up in the whole baptism race or who's AP and who's what
Don't you want to fight for something that's rigorous and win, though?
so I really really became strict about all of that and making sure I was doing things for the right reasons
That's smart, I suppose.
and suddenly I didn't care about it anymore I'd love to win and fight for something. But I'll be quite picky about what I'm fighting for and as soon as I got out of the bubble, I just saw how ridiculous it all was
But I just feel like . . . I feel like if I'm not actively fighting today, then there's somebody else who is, and then they're going to go farther. Also, which bubble? The, um, Asian bubble or something?
the whole scripture about give men a little power and they'll exercise unrighteous dominion is a real thing na just the social bubble I totally feel the same way though! About what you just said and hence, I'm getting to school at 6 even though my class starts at 11 everyday but I'm not doing it to beat the guy, you know? I just want to be competitive and know that I'm in a good place
Man, I want your dedication and determination. I think I'm a pretty all right person; I just don't apply myself.
but I'm not concerned at all about "who's farther" etc. My dream is to be financially independent before I graduate 3 years
That's a good goal.
and my definition of that is 2000 USD a month in post-tax passive income that's all I need
It's a little stranger with me being a girl and, supposedly, a future mother. Oh, yeah? Isn't that, uh, $30000 per year after taxes? Just want to make sure I'm getting my math right.
ahah well another thing about being from overseas is that I was brought up in a different church culture!
Ignore the buffer I gave. I always give a buffer. Oh, yeah!
I say traditional roles go out the window
What was that like?
yeah something like 30k which is perfect for me!! because that's the absolute minimum from doing nothing all week. I might have income on top of that from active ventures but really, that's what I'm going for my standard of living is really low hahaha
Okay, but I have a question
I've spent about 60 dollars in food this month
What? That's insane.
i mean month of september my rent is about 320
Right, right. Okay, but I have a question. Where do you get your determination to succeed and do better?
I LOVE what I study
Because it's not that I don't want to do things; I just find myself lacking the determination.
and I love the whole concept about being freeeee
Are you working towards a goal, though? Is there something you want out of this?
that is just the most amazing thing in the world, I think no! not really, at the moment
Being free?
I'd be really really happy to live a perfectly normal life and die unremembered that's a huge goal of mine I hate being recognized publicly!!! drives me insane
But then how do you drive yourself to do all these things? I love computer science, yes, but I'm hardly losing sleep over it. I just, ahhhh, I don't understand. I want to be like you! You sound amazing. And I think I have a lot of potential. I just, I don't know, I don't do anything about it. I don't even have an excuse for it.
nonono so don't get me wrong, I'm still working on a lot of things. And YES! you sound like you have a lot of potential indeed I think you' are doing just fine
But I could be doing better is the thing. I don't want to do "fine." I want to do excellent. I want to strive for that golden excellency. And I don't even know what that MEANS.
hahah well going on a mission is a great start that changed my life, really
I suppose you're not wrong there.
I was really a lost before I left I didn't have the motivation I have now, and more importantly I was a pretty bad person top lessons from the mission: 1. rules are important, but principals are better 2. you can actually do some hard stuff 3. people are super important and treat them really well
I guess I'm just worried that every minute I don't spend racing ahead is another I'm falling behind--and considering I already feel behind, it's not something I want to - haunt me.
that's a great attitude.
Because I don't think I could live with myself if I knew I could've done something but didn't because I didn't put in the effort. Don't you worry about that? Don't you worry that your lack of productivity now is going to bite you later?
I can't believe how many people here are just moving along without thinking about what they're doing
What do you mean?
especially with the girls here! Man, half the time I just want to shout at them haha YOU CAN AIM HIGHER and I'm not talking about motherhood or whatever that is the ultimate highest, hardest goal ever lololol but too many girls here derive their self esteem from external things like boys, or what their priesthood leader says about them or parents or whatever
I've felt like that before. I don't try to be self-conscious, but I am sometiems. *sometimes Mostly, though, I want to be happy with myself. And I can't be happy with myself unless I know I'm working hard. Sometimes I'm just beyond frustrated that I haven't done more.
yeah! You guys really don't need to apologize for anything or feel like your success depends on not disturbing other people's success, you know?
That, because I wasn't aware of what was ahead when I was younger, I'm behind now. What do you mean?
well, Christian women just tend to be nice
That is definitely true.
nice as in, not too opinionated, not too intrusive and just not in the way of anything I'm not saying lets all degenerate into self-serving monsters but everyone has the same claim to success!
I hope so. I'm realizing that I really, really do want to do hard things. I don't really need recognition. Though I think some part of me craves it. Ultimately, though, when I do something, it's not because I want someone to admire me. (And if I am, that's sign that I should stop.)
yeah! And I'm not saying that you need to turn into one of those awful pro-woman thingys on college campuses
Ugh, please no.
but yeah you know what I mean
Those feminists can -- aaaaand I'm not going to finish that sentence. I do, yeah. But how do you do it? How do you wake up, day after day, to do everything?
yeah. the biggest irony about feminists is that the strength of their movement depends on angry women, not happy ones
Also true. So much passion and hate. But mostly hate.
that's a great question! haha to be honest it's all about economics... I schedule really tough things in the mornings that will force me to wake up like deliberately leaving an assignment that's due in the morning or scheduling skype calls with friends or family in the morning oh and I definitely make it easier by going to bed early
Oh, my gosh, that's hilarious. Force yourself up, eh? What time do you sleep?
it hasn't been consistent recently but I'm in bed from 9 to 10 totally asleep by 1015
I like that. I should try picking that up again. I could get so much more done in the morning if I slept earlier. I wouldn't be tired--and, get this, I need less sleep. The earlier I go to bed, the less tired I am in the morning at even earlier times.
I just CANT function, if I don't sleep well
I can function, I just can't think.
but honestly, it's a big sacrifice--especially for other people I have zero social life outside of clubs and school
Really?
and that's totally okay with me, but that can't be healthy for people who thrive on that
Do you mind? I feel like there's an aspect of networking that's probably being missed here.
I'm the biggest introvert in the world!! I'll hope on stage and perform or give a 20 minute speech but I won't go to a dance
Ehhhh, I've had my mind stuck in the thought of graduate school all day. Really? I mean, I guess it's not a huge surprise that you're introverted.
ahh networking. I pick my battles on that one I'll have short bursts of energy when I know it's something important for example!! I went to FHE in the beginning of the year, because I didn't have much to do and there was a guy sitting on the side by himself and my missionary instincts kicked in and I started talking to him turns out he's one of those classic sillicon valley success stories
No way, really? What'd he do?
dropped out of USC to be the first hired person at Pinterest, and now he's running a company of his own that makes a few million dollars a year he's 25 you can look him up! He's the real deal sahil lavignia founder of Gumroad. He moved her because he wanted to experience a conservative lifestyle, and he even got baptized
No way. That's insane! I didn't know you could run into people like that around here. That must've been amazing.
right??? I seriously thank God for my luck I'm really really lucky all the time I feel like there's a good chance that every single one of my rare social moments turn into something big
I find that funny. You sound a lot like me. I've been given a lot of good opportunities. Opportunities I didn't even fight for. They seemed to drop out of the sky.
yeah I know! That's exactly how I feel too
I'm only where I am because of, what I feel, are very serendipitous circumstances. You get me, then? I don't even know how it happens.
there are people out there who go to every networking opportunity desperately trying to find something and here's me in my pajamas all day, run into a CEO
You know what's hilarious? I got a job to tutor a family, right?
yeah and?
So, I said, "Sure! Sounds great." Well. Turns out, their dad is the co-founder of Younique. And they're very tech heavy.
hahahaha wow incredible
I could get an internship there just because I know him. Right?
nannying is super cool that way any industry that pairs high power people with normal ones
Well, I'm not a "nanny," just a math tutor, but eayh. *yeah
ah yep sorry nannying is huge in Hong Kong you can make 90k a year easy rich parents are keen to hire the best for their kids same things happen to barbers and other gig jobs
Really? They meet really good people just by nature of their jobs?
yeah! and it's really powerful I've considered barbering...I can cut hair decently but the monetary exchange for time is fixed and I hate that
What do you mean it's fixed? Like, you get paid regardless of how much time you spend? Or something else? I wouldn't really like not being reimbursed for the time I spent on something.
yeah the amount of money I'd get is more or less the same
I see, I see. And you don't like that, huh?
there's only so much you can do wiggle a bit more yeah it drives me insane I'm all about smart smart smart that's why some mission rules were really frustrating they're there only as preventative measures anyway I didn't buy the whole thing about "exact obedience = power" one bit
What do you mean? There's that famous quote that says "Exact obedience bring miracles," or paraphrased at aleast. *at least I would've thought that would apply on the mission field more than anything.
all I knew is that Jesus taught good principles and that the rules were there in cast we acted out of line. But real success comes when you get off the linear relationship well I'm not sure how to explain it but I found a lot of success on my mission when I decided to stop doing things and acting instead obedience itself is as hollow as the mosaic laws there always has to be a greater principle that directs everything
I see.
so when I hear: "lunch is only half an hour" what they're really saying is "don't waste time, don't be lazy" I remember being so out of it, in the beginning of my mission I looked forward to lunch, and any spare moment to get a break but when I became more principle focused then I didn't want to eat lunch anymore I I "got" the law like, there were more important things to do than to eat lunch
Which was to go out and do everything you could, not focus on lunch. And you didn't need the time constraints because they were aside the point.
right! But the beauty was that all of a sudden, things were flexible If that meant extending lunch for 2 hours so that I could talk to my investigator while I cooked him/her food with my companion that was okay right! Australia is a door knocking mission. Lots and lots of it I don't think I knocked 30 doors in the latter half of my mission and we were teaching 30 lessons a week I always felt bad, because other missionaries were really being "obedient". They got up when they had to, did everything exactly the way they were told but they struggled! and I felt like they ended up tricking themselves into thinking that "I'm having a hard time because satan is trying to get me down! I need to redouble my efforts to be obedient", when in reality, they just needed to do things differently but I don't blame the mission president or the missionary committee one bit for their rules
Huh. I had never at all considered that blind obedience like that might be a bad thing.
I read something that changed my perspective on laws forever! DC says that commandments are adapted to the weakest of saints, meaning that the harshness of law is intentional to account for every possible person
I'd always thought that the rules were what they were and completely following them would be the best course of action.
It's just my opinion!!
Huh. But if you understand more and do well, you can still live the law. Okay, yes yes, don't worry, I know. I'll take whatever you say with a grain of salt.
you might learn other valuable lessons from obedience. Some non-obedient missionaries were really successful, but I know that every obedient missionary went home with a solid testimony but either way, I'm sure you'll do great! And in the event that you come home early that's just fine too! It was good to even just go out
I have a few friends thus far who have come home early.
I always have to add that part because early returned missionaries are so badly treated
Mostly medical reasons. Lots of stuff that's difficult out in the field.
yeah, poor souls really. I hate the way we treat them in our church culture right now but yeah, I'm sorry about the rant. You ask some great questions. But I haven't given you much opportunity to say anything why do you want to serve a mission? That's a big decision for anyone
It's okay. I understand the ranting. It's really difficult for those who come home early. And as for me personally . . . It may sound strange, but the fact that I was scared to go is what motivated me.
love it!!!
I didn't want to let fear keep me from being everything I could be. Just, you know? I don't want my fears to tell me what I can or can't do. And because I was afraid of it, I wanted to face it head on and say, "No." Which, I know, it's kinda weird.
that's epic
Heh, thanks.
well tell me about you!
I promise, I intend to serve the Lord with everything I have.
what's your story
Well, there's not a whole lot to know unless you want to delve into deep things.
hahaha I know you will. Don't mind me, I was so half hearted my first year of the mission
I was born and raised in the Church. Hehe, I've heard that from a lot of people.
I had zero testimony so I was a terrible missionary until my last year
Still. The fact that you went at all is amazing.
super disobedient, the whole thing born and raised around here?
Yup, right around here in Utah. That's all I've ever really known. But, thing is, despite being raised in the Church, I never knew what the Spirit felt like until I was seventeen years old. I was really, really confused. And I felt like I would never understand my entire life. I was, supposedly, at least according to those around me, worthy to have it in my life. But I couldn't tell if I was just unable to feel it or couldn't recognize it. It's the same to you when you've never felt it. I'd never had a single truth of the gospel confirmed. And that's not because I hadn't asked or anything. I had. Many times. I still recall the nights I'd spent on my knees with tears rolling down my face wondering why I - couldn't be like everyone else and have the truth confirmed by the Spirit.
ahaha oh my we have the same story keep going
Oooooh, fun! I love relating to people. okay, okay So, eventually, I do have my first recognizable experience, and I'm ecstatic. Just on top of the world/ Because I was starting to genuinely believe I couldn't. Anyway, when the thought of a mission starts coming around, I decide to pray about it like any other person would. I said, in essence, "Father, I don't know what you have in store for me, but I'm ready to submit myself to whatever you would have me do--go or don't." I knew I was scared. I knew that going on a mission would be the hardest thing I'd ever done. But I was willing to do it if that's what He asked of me. And if He asked me not to go, I'd be okay with that, too. I just wanted to know what He would have me do so that I could unfailingly commit myself to it. So after asking that tentative question of Him, I still remember the answer He gave me. Quite simply, "I haven't called you on a mission, but if you want to go, I'll support you." Which is another way of saying, "I'm leaving it up to you."
I wish I got an answer!!! that's amazing
Heh, I was the most in tune with the Spirit at that point in my life than I ever had been. Seriously, it was incredible I still miss those days. They were right around my first finals week.
what a story
Oh, with the TESTS and the--anyway, anyway. But I was still a little disappointed in the answer.
hahah
I got an answer, but it wasn't what I expecting at all. I still needed to choose. So then I was stuck in this little decision for the next few months. And a lot happens, of course, and I keep thinking about it. Eventually my bishop asks me, and I tell him, quite frankly, that I'm not sure. We talk for a few more weeks, him recommending articles and me reading them all, and I can't bring myself to choose. "I'm so scared," I tell him. "Going on a mission means leaving everything I know and love behind." "I don't want my siblings to grow up without me." "I want to be there in their lives, but I won't be if I'm going, and then we're not going to be close --"
you need to write a book or something
All these things. Me? Hehehe, you're so nice. Nah, it's just the story I have. My life story. Nothing super special about it.
It's cool huh, that some sub 20 year olds can have so many things going on other people don't have this cool mission thing to do
I really is. You wouldn't think so, but it's very true. All these members of the Church have lots of cool experiences.
spiritual experiences are rare really really rare
I know. I've come to cherish mine.
and you're one of the few people that experience it the same way
Really? What do you mean ? Same way as what?
that I've talked to in person that seem to have a spiritual cap or a different dispenser haha
Wait wait, what do you mean by that/ ?
Even on my mission, I can still count the number of real spiritual experiences in one hand oh I just mean, people who struggle with getting those spiritual moments seem to be a little rarer than those who don't struggle especially in Utah. Or those that still stick around even if they struggle
Yeah. That's always been my lot in life. I have to fight tooth and nail to have spiritual experiences.
I had one experience that I can't deny for sure! The rest were just good feelings and being happy yeah I get what you mean
It's nice to run into someone who gets me.
ya they really anchor me down
It was a long time since I was somewhat at peace with that . . . Yeah. Okay okay, but anyway, I'm talking to my bishop, right?
because to be honest, I've always struggled with the church and I still do!
Oh. Yeah, I get that. I try to be obedient, but sometimes I feel like all the promises people say don't always come true.
hahah well for me it's purely doctrinal I love the social part of church but being the avid researcher and in general never following the crowd about anything
I'm not so keen on the social part, but that's a personal preference. Oh, yeah?
I did some pretty extensive reading on everything and yeah there's some really troubling stuff out there and I still read it you know because I'm not afraid of it and I don't think that it's healthy to just stick to one side but my mission and all of these experiences have brought me to where I am now which is just a really nice place
I'm glad.
I don't worry so much about the gospel because I know it'll all be taken care of I don I don't necessarily fall into the category of believing everything 100 percent and that salvation is only found in this church etc but there's some great people and great things being taught here and I think for the most part, we ere on the side of good but I'm not too fussed about my friends going inactive or one day my children decide not to go or something
Interesting. I haven't met someone like you in real life. You sound like a fun guy to have a conversation with.
I grew up around non-members, and judging by that: my kid's will do just fine hahaha it's definitely not your typical opinion
And I love that. There's no greater pleasure than discussing with great minds.
same for me! you have a really open mind and I wouldn't have said any of that if I didn't think it'd be received well I really keep all of this to myself and family. but sorry! I cut you off at your bishop story keep going.
It's okay, it's okay, it's no rush. And I loved hearing that. I know how hard it can be when your opinion isn't . . . popular, to say. I just really admire you for being open about it. I don't mind. I love when people have grown up differently than me and see the world differently. Anyway. So I was talking to my bishop and getting close to tears as I explained how terrified I was of leaving. And he looked at me for a moment before asking, quietly, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" I replied, "I'd go." And I stopped and realized that was my answer. Didn't come with thunder or lightning, just a simple realization that the only reason I hadn't signed my papers was that fear was telling me not to. So before I left his office, I opened my account and started the first bit to my mission papers. And that's all there was to it.  I'd go if I weren't afraid, so I'm going. I'm never going to let dictate my choices. Not again. It ruined me the first few times.
wohooooo
So now I'm being forced to confront something I've been afraid of my entire life--by choice.
you are typing way quick! I can tell that you're getting super revved up telling the story that's amazing
hehe, I guess so.
you sorry
I think it's more that I stopped making types.
I keep hitting the enter pinky is still in training
Hehe, that's okay! It'll get there eventually.
you are going to be an incredible missionary and you're going to be a great mom
I don't know about that. There's still so much I don't know. And . . . I hope so. I really hope so. I really want to be.
that's one thing I admire about the girls here
There's so much that I've yet to experience that I can't even wrap my head around it. Oh, yeah? Motherhood?
they take their parenting really seriously. There really is no where else in the world where you can find educated people who are so excited to give their life up for their children
Really? Is that not a common thing?
nope bill gates said that the best cure to overpopulation is educating women
I suppose it's part of our culture. You know, the whole "Family is eternal" thing that we all believe. . . . what? He said that?
for the rest of the developed world, when women become educated that usually plummets the birth rate it makes sense there's more to lose! time, careers everything but it's really admirable here parents just love their family to death and they'll do anything for their children you'll see that overseas as well but at a different level of excitement haha
I know that one of my irrevocable callings is to be a mother, so there's nothing I wouldn't do to fulfill that. There are things I aspire for, of course, but I'm never changing that. I think I might homeschool my children, actually. If I learn enough now, I can pass it onto my children. Especially in places like math and whatnot. I think I can do a good job of preparing them, if at least for their first few years.
love the attitude homeschooling is underrated you can solve the social aspects pretty easily as well just hook them up with sport teams and church and that should be plenty
No kidding. I figure there are things I can do for them. And it's not that I don't trust teachers to do it. I just trust myself more. And if I'm really worried, then I can consider other options. It's not a permanent thing. I have resources, and I know of places I can go. I just want to make sure that my kids have the brightest future possible. And if they decide they want to go on and become great . . .
I'd be soo keen to be a stay at home dd dad
Yeah?
hence the financial independence
You'd like to teach your kids?
then I'll have all day to be with my kids yeah!! totally that'd be the best
The kids I tutor, their dad sometimes gets to stay home and just be with them. (My goodness, my pinkie will never be trained. I think it's a lost cause.)
there's probably nothing more important than a child growing without ever thinking "I wish mom/dad was around more"
(I can't use it for anything beyond the apostrophe and enter.)
yeah thats the dream (I KNOW)
I think it's good for kids to have their parents around. It's critical to their development. Ughh, okay, seriously, you've ruined me. I can't type now. It's all a broken thing of mess. Just stewing now. I don't even know where my pinkie wants to go now. I'm trying to use it for backspace, but it's still resisting. And I genuinely don't think I'd ever be able to use it for anything beyond--DID I JUST. Okay, my typing habits are horrendous. I'm realizing this now. They're so, so bad. That might explain why I feel stuck.
yeah I know! I thought my typing couldn
I just can't stop making mistakes.
couldn't get much faster but there are small things that I've been lazy about
But once you fixed your habits, you got faster?
my left hand is okay though yep!
I think my left hand could use some work.
and the other thing is how I capitalize I'm retraining to use both shifts
How do you do that?
that the I'm using the shift opposite to the letter I want to capitalize
Smart. Let me see what I default to here.
I think all that's left is being able to type numbers without looking and knowing where all of the secondary keys are
There's no way I can do numbers at the moment. They're so hard to land. Holy cow, I don't use my pinkie for anything. I use my ring finger as my catch-all for everything.
once you realize it, it's hard to stop noticing huh hahaha
It's really bad. Ugh. Why have you done this to me? It's just terrible.
but right now I get so much pleasure from hitting the p with my right pinky it's a victory
I can't.
it's you I have to thank! You're the one who started all of this
Please put the p key in its proper place--the pinkie presser. Did I really?
yeah! you told me that I typed fast so that lead to some google searches and boom
Please put the proper praise in its placement for perpendicular, uh, posts. Smart! I should do that, too.
I learned about everything that I was doing wrong
I'd love to type faster. Any good references? Or just go and figure it out yourself?
Umm well I guess just make sure all fingers are doing what they're supposed to do
OOH! I just used my pinkie to type the question mark!
yay!
True. I don't know how to use my fingers correctly.
the best word to practice on is the word people
. . . that'd sound strange out of context.
that's a tough one in the begining because it's almost all pinky and fourth fingers
People and putting other people in their places. Wow, you're right.
it's lots of fun haha
Typing people is pretty off-putting for people pleasers.
and the apostrophe
Ugh, that's going to take forever to fix.
ah see you're getting there
What about the apostrophe?
it was a tricky one for me to get with my pinky too
I was lucky enough to use my pinkie for the apostrophe by habit. That's not something I have to change.
I used to lift my whole hand to see where it is and hit the key
Everything else? Yeah. Really?
aahh that's good
Haha, that's so funn! *funny
look at us
I still hit backspace with my ring finger.
two typing enthusiasts
Typing professionals. Exactly. Chatting on a chatting server. Earning points for iPads.
not your typical thursday afternoon date lololol yeah it's hilarious love it
Well, who knows? I'd be down. Holy cow, is that the time? Ahhh, sorry, I have to go! I have a tutoring gig to get to. I hope I run into you some other time!
haha yeah I was just about to say I have to take off too
Kk
yep thanks for sharing! bye
I'll see you around, Z!