Hello!
Hello!
My best friend doesn't know that I secretly dated his first crush for a few months, haha! ...Now that I say that I guess I'm kind of a crappy friend
Nah, it's cool. Was she cute?
Very!  It didn't work out though
He would probably forgive you.
Should I tell him? Haha He's married now so it should be fine, right?
Did you start to date her after you found out that he liked her?
Definitely afterward.  He was the one that introduced us.
Savage.
I know right?
If he's married, I feel like he would just laugh.
Yeah.  Unless he married her. Just kidding
Oh, good. I almost said "daaaaang" out loud in the library
Hahaha So what about you? What thing does your best friend not know?
I don't have anything dramatic like that
That's fine.  What's the lamest thing your best friend doesn't know about you? Hah
They have absolutely no idea what I ate for lunch today
I'm shocked, shocked I say How could you not tell them?
I probably could have, and then ate lunch with them So it probably makes me a terrible friend too.
But you didn't, and now you're a horrible friend Haha yes
I guess I'll have to change my name and move to a foreign country again
You got an ID guy? I can be your ID guy
I had one, but I had to change my name because I forgot to invite him to lunch with me, so yeah, you can be my new ID guy
As long as you promise to always invite me to lunch
I promise. But I've broken this promise at least twice to other people before
Excellent.  Now, I need you to dye your hair purple The pictures won't match otherwise
Ah Yes Okay You got a hair-dye guy? Because I need one
I do, but he's a bit tied up right now There's always the Kool-Aid guy
Yeah, but he scares me. And always breaks my walls
Yeah he isn't the most discreet one...which can be a problem in this line of work
Also I don't want my hair to smell like grape Kool-Aid until I betray another friend I might actually give me an incentive to betray them
That's a good point.  We'll have to go with some nasty lemon flavor
I don't see how that would help
Neither do I But lemon is nasty
I've never tried lemon Kool-Aid But I'll trust you on this
I'm honestly not sure it even exists, haha But lemon flavor Starbursts exist, and that's a crime against humanity
Well I guess I'm going to lunch alone tomorrow.
Whaaaaatttt? Don't tell me you like those
Okay I won't tell you But I've already implied
You've gotta be honest with your ID guy That's in the criminal rulebook somewhere
Maybe I'll just go hermit in the mountains I don't need an ID out there.
Don't get to eat steak out there either Well I suppose that's not true How's your aim?
I do miss out on lemon starburst though. I'll have to stock up before leaving
If you go to the mountains and take all of the lemon starbusts with you, then I'm absolutely in favor of this plan
All in FLAVOR
Wow.  Just wow. With jokes like that I'm surprised you haven't had to flee to the mountains already Or yesterday, even
Maybe I have If you set up near an antenna you can get reasonably good signal
Must be a pretty intense directional one.  Where do you get your power from?
An exercise bike And grit sweat and tears And a portable generator
I'm just glad you didn't say "from the bursting of stars"
Well, lemon starburst do make pretty good batteries if you chain a bunch of them up in salt water It's too bad I've eaten so many
When you say a bunch....how much we talking about?
You get about 7 volts every 100 starburst
Wow
But I need the energy from the starburst to use the bike So I'm running low on batteries
Why not just get a frictionless bike?
I don't think that would generate much energy Also I'm already a hermit
Wouldn't drain any, either
I can't go back
Or you can just do the tried and true thing: plug a power strip into itself I can't believe people haven't caught onto that yet
I brought one with me, but it turns out the energy just stays in the powerstrip, and escapes in a great big arc when you try to plug it into anything else
That sounds dangerous
So I just hit squirrels with it like a flail
That's the reasonable thing to do, I would expect nothing less
They don't have the energy density of lemon starburst, but are surprisingly tasty
Do you eat their nuts too?
Especially in a lemon starburst braise When I can. Usually I catch them on the ground, and can't waste the energy to climb the trees where they hide them.
Alternatively I suppose you could capture them and have them chase their own nuts as they ride your stationary bike
It's not really designed with squirrels in mind
But at that point you've surpassed modern civilization and we become the hermits
That's the goal of every hermit Throw down society
Yeah, I hear Obiwan was all about that
By mastering squirrel-bending Of course Obiwan was about that
The sand people feared him
He trained an assassin to kill the emperor of the galactic empire Throwing the galaxy into chaos
My goodness.
He even threw over the tyrannical reign of death
He did say he'd become more powerful than Darth could imagine
Exactly
And then just 4 hours of scenes later, all his enemies lay dead
Truly a hero for all hermits in any galaxy
He hermited so hard,  he disappeared entirely I suppose the "Force" thing he spoke of was the ability to channel the starburst arc
Yeah, there's a lot of theory behind it, but I guess in city-man's terms you could say that. We hermits are approaching a unification of the forces of the universe, and I believe lemon starburst are the key I just realized "we hermits" is kind of contradictory
I just assumed you were speaking in dimensions higher than the city folk can perceive projections of such complex matters into my limited vocabularly are bound to have some things missed in translation But on that note, are there any large gatherings of hermits on an annual basis? I suppose that's what Comi-Con is
Yeah, we collectively stay completely seperated from all others together almost every day of the year Sometimes our resolution breaks and we meet up
Well I suppose the obvious follow-up question is, how many hermits are there?
One, if you ask any one of us But you could probably count how many different hermits told you that
Hive mind?
No, just a combination of extreme social anxiety and pride
If I count the ones who say there are more than one will I still get a correct result?
Those aren't real hermits Just people lost in the woods They usually try to pretend to be hermits to mask the embarassment
But just to make sure, I'm still your ID guy right?
I guess. I've surpassed your silly ideas of "personal identity" but it might be useful
I feel like your authenticity as a hermit might be faltering with your association with me
It's not like anybody decides the rules about hermits. According to me, I am the only hermit in existence, and so what ever I do I can claim is perfectly normal behavior for a hermit
But you also reject the idea of a personal identity
Like a true hermit
Maybe you're actually a collectivist in denial
It's possible, but I don't believe in introspection, so I'll never know
what about interspection?
Only with squirrels and lemon starburst
So on that note,  are you excited for the Incredibles 2? Or just super nervous. Or Both.
I just feel like they can't mess it up that bad, but it also might be amazing So both?
Did you see the recent trailer?
I don't think so
It's pretty good, got some hints to the plot but at the same time it's packed full of jokes that are just deja vu from the first
Hmm
So that makes me a bit worried But I heard that the writer was asked to make a sequel years and years ago, and that he didn't because he didn't have a story and I guess the Pixar execs pressured him again and again, and he finally told them that he'd let them know when he actually had one
Interesting
and a few years ago he came to them and said he figured one out so that at least instills some confidence that it's not some stupid money grab or something born out of unoriginality
Yeah, it's hopefull
What's your favorite animated movie/
Wall-E is one of my favorite And if Kubo counts, then Kubo
I haven't seen that one yet
Which one?
Kubo Kubo and the Two Strings right? Something like that?
Yeah
What's it about?
It's a stop-motion animation about a kid that makes paper dance with his music, and I don't know how much I can say without ruining it
Yeah, no spoilers then
But it is really good
I've heard good things
I cried
Wow
And that's saying something for a hermit What's your favorite animated movie?
That's saying a lot coming from a prideful hermit bent on the overthrow of civilization That's hard Tangled I think is the perfect animated movie But I like Megamind
Tangled is a surprising choice, but I can't disagree
The humor of Megamind is awesome, but the wall-to-wall quality of Tangled can't be ignored It's not even really my type of movie, but it's just so well-executed on every front casting, art-style, story, music, overall polish everyone did their job on that movie It perfectly hit what they were aiming for
Yeah, totally.
I haven't been a fan of most of Pixar's latest films but I really like their classics like Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Toy Story
Even though Frozen has gotten quite a bit more attention since, I think Tangled stands a better movie. Oh, yeah definitely.
100% agree.  Every time I watch Frozen I like it less the story seemed rush and nonsensical in areas I think they were just hurried for a Christmas release
They did a lot of good things, and I like a lot of the music, but it just doesn't have the same polish as Tangled I might be biased, because I had the weirdest crush on Rapunzel after seeing Tangled.
Hahahaha Well, looks aside, she's a pretty cool person
Yeah, definitely
if we think about that type of situation in real life, no WAY would we ever expect a person held up in a tower by a constantly-abusive "mom" to be that upbeat
That's a good point
She even got stuff done in that tower - reading, painting, playing, etc. You've gotta have a pretty strong ambition and positivity to not be completely crushed by that upbringing And she was super caring I mean yeah it's all fake Disney but you gotta hand it to her haha
You mean Disney is fake? Dang it, I was watching those to get information on the city-folk
Why would you bother with the lessers?
As much as I despise your culture, I have to understand my enemy to be able to destroy him. A la ender Hey, thanks for chatting, but I've got to go now
Haha okay Take care
You too man
In the mountains and for the love of all that is holy, please stop eating lemon starbursts
Never