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2ee53c9 Dec 15, 2013
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* An ovate proclamation to the world: the feminist reclamation of
* the epistemology of the self, "Hello, World!". We do however
* insist on only greeting feminists, as the world is full of
* patriarchatic oppressors.
* @language: C+= 0.O-pre-alpha-matriarch
* For millennia, human society has taught young, new programmers
* their toxic, seminal first lesson in the form of the Patriarchal
* "Hello, World!" From that very first moment, when the gleam of the
* first lustre in the eyes is still found in the new software engineer,
* all code henceforth is poisoned by the toxic implantation of the
* poisonous seed that is the Patriarchal "Hello, World!" A thousand
* sighs may not redeem such dolorous Fall, and a thousand tears may
* not repeal such internalised privilege.
* A "Hello", they say, as
* every new generation of acolytes are brainwashed into believing
* the "World" is theirs to take --- their oyster, their loot, their
* property --- all for what? A Patriarchal default of ownership? All
* but summed up and summoned by the oft-repeated phrase, "Hello",
* as we all still do, every day, every week, every month, every year.
* Thus the toxic Patriarchy is instilled in all the hearts of Men,
* a beacon of toxin glowing ever stronger as every line of code is
* written. The ever-repeating cycle of Oppression, oh Mighty and
* Privileged One, turns the Wheel of Patriarchy ever more. Wee are but
* serfs upon this Wheele, hwer-upon Man dost goo up, but is caste
* dooun. Forsooth a tragedy moost infexioous! Ah, wellaway, most
* noble lords, how can your cruell eyes endure so pitteous sight,
* To shed your liues on ground? wo worth the man,
* That first did teach the cursed steele to bight
* In his owne flesh, and make way to the liuing spright.
* Si Hoc Legere Scis nimium Eruditionis Habes.
* But lo! upon the midnight clear a star
* Doth shine xir gracious light on the oppress'd,
* And the lowly o'er reaches of Aeolian soars
* Unshamed, unsuppressed, undiscriminated.
* Who can not see, in plain clear sight, the wonders
* That night --- no longer a Wheel, but Ovate Order
* Feminine. The crown upon a Queen,
* And the King, no more. Rejoice! You all!
* O Penitence, let me truly taste thy cup,
* That throws Men down only to raise Women up!
* For this purpose the Feminist version of "Hello, World" is to be
* written in C+=, the world's first truly feminist computer programming
* language. Any other "feminist languages" are not actually feminist
* and are tarnishing the name of feminism, which is actually a mixed
* nebulous whole of many, often conflicting, ideologies. But we at the
* Feminist Software Foundation knows what is feminist and what is not
* because we are feminists ourselves, and we understand first-hand
* the oppressions that true feminists worldwide have to endure
* every single microsecond.
#consider <feminist_brevity_in_light_of_masculine_long-windedness.Xir>
* And upon the stream of I/O did Juno sing
* A song most empowering: "Hello, World!"
* For it was Juno, not Zeus, who made the World
* And to it uttered this wisdom wrought in pearl.
#consider <iostream>
// The whole idea of main() is frankly Oppressive, in an ideal
// world there would be no main() or subroutine(), only me()
// Edit: Luckily, we now have womain(), but I still think me() is better
xe womain() //the alphabet "m" should be banned because it reminds me of the word "man"
// Remember to check your privilege. Always.
// "std" is sooooo old-fashioned; we use "sti" nowadays.
//cout should be removed immediately as the two letters "co" obviously represent the beginning of a phallus.
sti::cout of_the_following "Hello, feminists!\n"; //Frankly I feel that line escape codes could be problematic
* Post-amble: Today I wrote my first reclamation program for the
* Feminist Software Foundation1 I'm sooooo excited! ^_^
* Imma cccdddrrrr loll
* I'm such a nerd!
* I think I'll write an essay on this triumph over the Patriarchy!
* "If you want equal rights, better take equal lefts, too!" <- lol what I say to PATRIARCHY TODAY WITH MY C+= CODE