could you rewrite the first few paragraphs of 'The Hobbit' by JRR Tolkien using generation Z slang, with words such as cringe, rizz or bussin?

Here are the first few lines, for reference: In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
Sure, here is the first few paragraphs of 'The Hobbit' by JRR Tolkien rewritten using generation Z slang:


Yo, there lived this hobbit in a hole in the ground. It wasn't a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with worms and an oozy smell. It wasn't a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing to sit down on or to eat. It was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

The hobbit's name was Bilbo Baggins, and he was a very comfortable hobbit. He had a nice round belly, a comfortable armchair, and a pipe that he smoked all day long. He lived in a nice hobbit-hole with his cousin, Bilbo Baggins, and they were both very happy.

One day, a wizard named Gandalf came to visit Bilbo. Gandalf was a very wise wizard, and he had a plan. He wanted Bilbo to go on an adventure, and he knew that Bilbo would be the perfect hobbit for the job.

Bilbo was hesitant at first, but he eventually agreed to go on the adventure. He packed his bags and said goodbye to his cousin, and then he set off with Gandalf.

They traveled for many days, and they had many adventures. They met trolls, goblins, and even a dragon. Bilbo had to use all of his courage and cunning to survive, but he eventually made it back home safely.

Bilbo was a changed hobbit after his adventure. He was no longer the same comfortable hobbit who lived in his hobbit-hole. He was now a hobbit who had seen the world and experienced all that it had to offer. He was a hobbit who was brave, cunning, and wise.

And he was a hobbit who was ready for his next adventure.

Or here is a 2nd one using the generation Z slang: 


There was once a hobbit who lived in a hole in the ground. It wasn't a gross, dirty, wet hole, filled with worms and gross smells. It wasn't a dry, empty, sandy hole with nothing to sit on or eat. It was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

This hobbit was named Bilbo Baggins, and he was a pretty chill dude. He lived a pretty chill life, eating and drinking and smoking and stuff. He didn't have a lot of adventures, but he was content with his life.

One day, a wizard named Gandalf showed up at Bilbo's door. Gandalf was a pretty eccentric wizard, and he was always getting into adventures. He invited Bilbo to go on an adventure with him, and Bilbo was hesitant at first, but he eventually agreed.

Bilbo and Gandalf set off on their adventure, and they soon found themselves in the middle of all sorts of trouble. They met trolls, goblins, and even a dragon. But Bilbo was a pretty resourceful hobbit, and he always managed to get out of trouble.

In the end, Bilbo and Gandalf had a pretty epic adventure, and they returned home with a lot of treasure. Bilbo was a changed hobbit, and he was no longer content with his old life. He was now a hobbit who had seen the world, and he was ready for anything.
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