Can you help me with writing a press release for a new product that I developed?
Sure! I'd be happy to help you out. Could you please provide me with some details about your product and your target market?
Alright, I've developed a laser gun that progressively makes things cuter. I aimed it at a lamp once, and it went from straight edged, to having rounded corners, to turning into a plush that somehow still emitted light. I aimed it at a picture of a shark and it turned it into a picture of some anime girl. I aimed it at a rock, and it turned more pastel colored and gained a face like this one: `:3`. After the ethics review went through, we did animal testing, and the animals gained a more domesticated look. It was like wolves turning into dogs.

The target market is anyone that likes cute things, but I think a main problem will be getting enough initial people to believe the product is real.
Here's a sample press release based on the information you provided:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New Laser Gun Makes Things Cuter - It's Like Magic!

[Your City, Date] - Have you ever wished you could make things cuter with the flick of a switch? Now you can, with the latest invention from [Your Company Name], the Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun!

Using state-of-the-art technology, the Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun emits a special beam that gradually transforms the object it's aimed at into something irresistibly adorable. From sharp-edged objects becoming rounded and plush-like, to dull and lifeless photos being transformed into cute anime characters, the possibilities are endless!

And that's not all. Our team of experts has conducted animal testing, and the Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun has been shown to even domesticate wild animals, turning them into cuddly and friendly pets. Imagine transforming a wolf into a loyal and loving dog, all with the power of the Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun!

While some may doubt the reality of this amazing invention, we assure you that it's 100% real and has already undergone rigorous ethics reviews. And with the Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun, you'll never have to settle for anything less than cute.

So what are you waiting for? Order your Cute-O-Matic Laser Gun today and start transforming your world into a cuter, more adorable place!

For more information and to place an order, visit [Your Company Website].

Feel free to customize and adjust the press release as needed for your specific purposes. Good luck with your product launch!
Amazing! Now how about a poem on my great success