How would I clean a car? (Please respond in iambic pentameter.)
To clean thy car, these steps take thou shalt:

First rinse it down to wash free dirt and muck.

With sponge and soapy water scrub each spot.

Use gloves thy hands to keep skin dry and clean.

Rinse once again and dry with towels strong.

Vacuum seats and floor mats freed of crumbs.

Wipe vinyl and glass until no streaks remain.

Polish paint to shine bright and protect the shell.

Thy labor done, a gleaming car behold.
Wouldn't I put on gloves on first?
You are correct!

Here is the adjusted version with a few edits for flavor.

To clean thy car, to shine most supreme:
Apply first the gloves to keep thy hands clean.

Rinse it down well, loose dirt and muck.
You may need yon ladder if washing a truck.

Use stiff sponge, and soapy water most hot.
Your arms like a windmill, scrubbing each spot.

Be most thorough, the dirt it can't hide.
Rinse once again and examine thy ride.

You arms they will tire, the days getting long
Dry and buff well, using towels and cloth strong.

Vacuum seats and floor mats till like new.
Wipe vinyl and glass without further ado.

If verve you still have then tackle the wax.
A good solid job separates from the hacks.

The labor is done, you wish you could marry it.
But it's just a car, though it's one Bitchin Chariot.