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I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
I'll hit you so hard you 'll have to take off your shoes to shit!
I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!
I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
You're so dumb you think socialism means partying!
You're so dumb you think manual labor is a Mexican!
You're so dumb you think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
You're so dumb it takes you an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes"!
You so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
You so dumb you got blonde roots in your eyeballs.
Your so stupid, that you got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.
She was so ugly... they used to push her face into dough to make gorilla biscuits
You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!
You're so ugly when you walk into a bank, they turn the cameras off!
You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!
You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"
You're so ugly your face is closed on weekends!
You're so ugly you could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!
You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!
You're so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
You're so ugly they know what time you were born, because your face stopped the clock!
She's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
She's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Your face so so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.
Your so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.
Your so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
You're so fat when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE
You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
You're so fat if you weighed five more pounds, you could get group insurance!
You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!
Your so fat, that you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.
Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
'Scuse me, I can't seem to find my dick. Mind if I look in your mother'smouth?
Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
Are those your tits, or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads?
Is that an accent, or is your mouth just full of sperm?
If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!
The difference between your mama and a rooster? The rooster says
cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-cock'll do. I would have been your
dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
You're so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.
You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
I saved your mother's life today... I killed a shiteating dog on the way over.
Your mother's armpits are so hairy it looks like she had Buckwheat in a headlock.
Your mother's so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
Your mom's so fat, her yearbook picture was an aerial photo.
Your mom's so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Your mom's so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
They say that beauty is only a light switch away, with your mom I had to use a black light.
Your mom's so stupid it takes her a half hour to make minute rice.
Your mom's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Your mom's got snakeskin teeth.
Your mom's so stupid I saw her in the frozen food section w/a fishing rod.
Your mom's so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing Her peanuts.
Your mom's got hair on her tongue and she gargles w/curl activator.
Your mom's got a wooden leg w/a real foot.
Your mom's got a leather wig w/suede sideburns.
Your momma's so fat, she jumped up in the air -- AND GOT STUCK!
Your mother's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Your mother's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mother's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your Mama's got three teeth...one in her mouth & two in her pocket.
Your Mama's breath's so strong, she be blowin' bubbles with Now & Laters.
Your Mama's so old, her birthday's expired.
Your Mother is so stupid, she needs a ruler beside her bed to see how long she can sleep.
Your Mother is so dumb, she got hit by a cup and said she got mugged.
Your Mother is so old, I told her to start acting her age and the bitch died.
Your mama's so old she owes Jesus Christ a quarter
Your mama's so poor she went to McDonald's to put a shake on layaway
Your mama's so dumb she sold the car for gas money
Your mama's so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Your Mama's So fat, when her beepgr goes off, people thought she was backing up
Your Mama's So stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Your Mama's So fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Your Mama's So stupid, when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign,
Your Mama's So fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Your Mama's So fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Your Mama's So fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Your Mama's So fat, she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Your Mama's So fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "...to be continued"
Your Mama's So nasty, when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist
to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt.
Your Mama's So fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Your Mama's So ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
Your Mama's So ugly, she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Your Mama's So ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your Mama's So old, I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Your Mama's So ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Your Mama's So ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower