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1 Never without my permission
2 Network Protocols
3 The quadratic equation.
4 Privacy Settings.
5 Big Bada Boom.
6 The Cantina Band
7 The toxic, plastic smell of burning Vader.
8 A big black hole.
9 The blue canary in the outlet by the light switch.
10 Bad guys with British accents.
11 Accidentally polyjuicing yourself into a cat furry.
12 Cat 5 cable.
13 When the cat steals your dice, again.
14 Chewbacca's barber.
15 Children who solve crimes and fight monsters.
16 A lethal child assassin.
17 Crudely rendered CGI.
18 The Chain of Command.
19 Getting into her Chamber of Secrets, politely.
20 Christina Hendrick's epic prow.
21 Clerks 5: We Thought We'd Have Better Jobs by Now.
22 The commentary track.
23 The Cumberbitches.
24 A marathon D&D session.
25 Clickbait headlines.
26 The contractors on the second Death Star.
27 CTRL-ALT-DEL.
28 Cumming out a window.
29 A computer virus that lets you know it's ion progress with a zany graphic.
30 Telling the villain you're onto them, and then expecting nothing bad to happen to you.
31 21 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Buzzfeed.
32 Being completely prepared for several different kinds of zombie apocalypse, but totally
33 unprepared to live in actual daily reality.
34 Wizard Swears.
35 Going to the diner at 2AM.
36 The Wilhelm scream.
37 The song of my people.
38 Festive sombreros.
39 Zoom and enhance.
40 An arrow to the knee.
41 Crossing the streams.
42 Boiled leather.
43 Nicholas Cage's face.
44 Preferring the Weird Al version of most songs.
45 A wedding band that all has crossbows for some reason.
46 Being eyed suspiciously for wearing a black trench coat.
47 Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
48 Twincest.
49 Utini!
50 Waif fu.
51 A seemingly endless barrage of virgin jokes.
52 Triangle Man.
53 Particle Man.
54 His Noodly Appendage.
55 Going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.
56 Reluctantly handing your glasses over to yet another asshole who "just wants to try them on".
57 The skill and patience required to paint miniatures.
58 One million likes on Facebook.
59 Dot Matrix.
60 Felicia Day, the Queen of the Nerds.
61 The myth of the fake geek girl.
62 Fake binary.
63 The droids you're looking for.
64 The vast, yawning emptiness of space.
65 Being beheaded in front of your children.
66 Before the dark times, before the empire.
67 Batbat, a bat that dresses like a bat and has all the powers of a bat.
68 Arguing over the results of a Mythbusters episode.
69 Another special edition.
70 A meat popsicle.
71 Rock/Paper/Scissors.
72 Aliens that all look like people with different kinds of bumps on their heads.
73 Gorram Reavers.
74 Anakin in the prequels.
75 Rob Liefeld's inability to draw feet/people.
76 The remarkable number of red-haired women in comic books.
77 Lens flare.
78 Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
79 Some badass archery.
80 The Kessel Run.
81 Being certain you and your friends are what keeps the local pizza place in business.
82 A robot that looks like a person, but shinier.
83 Trying for the Harry Potter look and landing quarely on John Lennon.
84 ID-10/t error.
85 Reciting the Litany Against Fear to psych yourself up.
86 Traveling in single file to hide your numbers.
87 The Jedi Code.
88 "I can kill you with my brain."
89 Liquid Schwartz.
90 The singularity.
91 Wishing ESPN8 "The Ocho" was real.
92 Putting your hood up and pretending you're a Jedi.
93 When the movie is nothing like the book.
94 Solving for x.
95 Using any reference to "The One Ring" in a romantic way.
96 Waiting for your Hogwarts acceptance letter.
97 Code on a screen in a movie.
98 Min/Maxing.
99 Excessive Snopes-Linking.
100 The Throne of Games.
101 The blue screen of death.
102 Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.
103 42, Duh.
104 A basement full of sweaty nerds.
105 Moool-ti-pass.
106 Acting all smug because you read the books and you know what's coming.
107 Learning to swear in Mandarin Chinese.
108 Defending "The Big Bang Theory".
109 A switch labeled "more magic".
110 mv2
111 A small thermal exhaust port only two meters wide.
112 Your sudden but inevitable betryal.
113 Explosions in space.
114 The spinning beach ball.
115 A movie so boring even the trees walked.
116 Dobby's sock.
117 Realizing the Ms. Pac-Man might just be Pac-Man in drag.
118 Spocks's brain.
119 Breaking the fourth wall.
120 "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
121 Moisture farmers.
122 Stop motion animation.
123 The Diva Plavalaguna.
124 Vogon poetry.
125 Mercury fulminate.
126 Nathan Fillion's Twitter feed.
127 Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords.
128 The entire series on DVD.
129 Literally biting your tongue to keep yourself from revealing spoilers.
130 Midi-f**king-chlorians.
131 Another stupid vampire movie.
132 My pretty floral bonnet.
133 A mutant whose only power seems to be changing the TV channels with his brain.
134 Refusing to watch a movie after Neil deGrasse Tyson has ripped it to pieces.
135 Doing tech support for your parents, forever.
136 Falling through two perfectly aligned portals forever.
137 Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Downy Jr., and Jonny Lee Miller, all in one room.
138 The mysterious ticking noise.
139 A very cunning hat.
140 Patrick Stewart's twitter feed.
141 A 7-sided die.
142 The Hawkeye initiative.
143 An amazingly well-trained phoenix.
144 A wicked hot young Magneto.
145 A secret identity everybody knows about.
146 Chewbacca not getting a medal.
147 Global find and replace.
148 Picard's Barber.
149 Hodor, Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor.
150 Papyrus, or Comic Sans, or both.
151 Pizza the Hutt.
152 That time everyone thought you were the Heir of Slytherin.
153 Having more LARP/Renn Faire clothes than regular clothes.
154 When Fox cancels your favorite show.
155 Hitting it until it works.
156 Fursonas.
157 A raccoon with a machine gun.
158 Percussive maintenance.
159 A grail-shaped beacon.
160 Not being shocked by the Red Wedding.
161 Not seeing the irony in using the word "marathon" for watching a lot of television.
162 Bring shocked by the Red Wedding.
163 Fuzzy little tentacles.
164 "Make it so."
165 Resenting "The Big Bang Theory".
166 Sanctimonious Mac Users.
167 The way Commander Riker gets into chairs.
168 An SPF so high its basically just white paint.
169 Sexy green aliens.
170 Land's sweet 'stache.
171 Sad devotion to an ancient religion.
172 A 13-hour clock.
173 Remembering when there were only 151 Pokemon.
174 A brain from someone named "Abby Normal".
175 People who walk out of the theater before the credits are over.
176 Altering the timeline.
177 The Amazon reviews for the vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broomstick.
178 Having an emotional affair with animated gifs of Tom Hiddleston.
179 The questionable hairstyles of Babylon 5.
180 The babe with the power.
181 Movies that are so bad they go right past good and into bad again.
182 LARPing in a basement, again.
183 A bigger, blacker hole.
184 Blank.
185 A female superhero with a strategically appropriate amount of body armor.
186 Grown-ass men and women hitting each other with padded swords.
187 Princess Leia's boob tape.
188 Brain slugs.
189 Coming home to find the charred remains of your aunt and uncle.
190 Trading on cheap nostalgia.
191 The Christmas episode.
192 Your first one-night stand at Comic-Con.
193 The comments section.
194 All that crazy troll strength.
195 Cruft so complicated it accidentally becomes A.I.
196 Deleted scenes.
197 "Don't Panic."
198 The Doom Song.
199 Doritos and Mountain Dew.
200 One-star reviews of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
201 Draculas and Frankensteins.
202 Trying to eat like a human while wearing a corset.
203 A quiver that never, ever runs out of arrows.
204 The evil you from an alternate universe.
205 Ferocious, spear-wielding teddy bears.
206 Confidently walking away from an explosion without looking back.
207 The fake English accents used at Renaissance Faires.
208 A fandom tattoo that only other fans will understand.
209 A second season of Firefly.
210 A rare first edition.
211 Something that can fit on a single 3.5" floppy disc.
212 Handing out free samples of deodorant at Comic-Con.
213 Authentic frontier gibberish.
214 Full of cats.
215 "Game over, man! Game over!"
216 Arguing about how to pronounce GIF.
217 Gluing some gears on it.
218 Wishing goblins would kidnap your baby brother.
219 A very groovy mutation.
220 "Hail HYDRA."
221 The character you hate to love.
222 Head pigeons.
223 A demon with a heart of gold.
224 Another day living over the Hellmouth.
225 The delicious irony of filling your DVR with episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive.
226 The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
227 People who call HTML a "programming language".
228 Huge... tracts of land.
229 Realizing that Facebook, IM, and texting are your new definition of "human contact".
230 Using an instagram filter to make your good, expensive camera look like a cheap piece of
231 shit.
232 A majestic score by John Williams.
233 Lack of adhesive ducks.
234 Trying to explain your LARP weekend to your coworkers.
235 A leaf on the wind.
236 Internal logical consistency.
237 The character you love to hate.
238 Playing the Macarena on an ocarina.
239 Casting Magic Missile at the darkness.
240 When another movie studio tries to copy Marvel's success.
241 David Bowie's mooseknuckle.
242 Mudder's Milk.
243 Multiple pairs of goggles.
244 Multiple pairs of goggles.
245 A very special musical episode.
246 Mass times acceleration.
247 Reading out loud from a Necronomicon.
248 NERD RAGE!!!
249 A nice personality.
250 White Wolf's Noun: The Verbing.
251 The fine line between fandom and life-destroying obsession.
252 The evacuation of Earth-That-Was.
253 Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
254 Peeling off the plastic.
255 Not a good enough reason to use the word "penetrate".
256 Feeding unruly servants to your pet monster.
257 The machine that goes "ping!"
258 Plot holes you could drive a truck through.
259 An ancient book, full of prophecy, about you.
260 "@!#?@! Q*bert."
261 Actually playing Quidditch for real.
262 An enormous green rage monster.
263 The rebellious clone.
264 Hitting "refresh" just, maybe, one more time.
265 Salting your doors and windows, just in case.
266 Emergency saucer separation.
267 The cheerleader who saves the world.
268 The scene after the credits.
269 A TV show that slowly declines in quality until you're glad to see it go.
270 Being the smartest person in the room.
271 The way glasses make you look smart instead of blind.
272 A high-functioning sociopath.
273 Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
274 Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam.
275 The special features.
276 The inevitable hilarious cameo from Stan Lee.
277 Realizing that every episode of Star Trek: TNG is just a bunch of committee meetings.
278 Subreddits.
279 The physical suffering we endure for cosplay.
280 The horse is a surprise.
281 The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
282 Synthehol.
283 The Alien Hidden In The Incubator.
284 Nikola Tesla's intense love for a pigeon.
285 A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
286 People who think The Onion is a legitimate news organization.
287 A Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.
288 Time in a bottle.
289 A genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.
290 Too many villains in the sequel.
291 Cross the Ts and for the... lower case Js.
292 A series of tubes.
293 A hundred Tuesdays in a row.
294 A vampire with a soul.
295 Volts divided by amps.
296 A wafer-thin mint.
297 My wayward son.
298 Joss Whedon one-liners.
299 Playing Frisbee like the Winter Soldier.
300 A company of lawyers that is somehow more evil than regular lawyers.
301 Yelling at the screen because that's not how it happened in the book.
302 Young Earth Creationists.
303 Qualities that other humans find desirable in a sexual partner.
304 The Yub Nub Song.
305 Rob Liefeld's inability to draw -feet- people.
306 A sci-fi movie full of supermodels.
307 Con plague.
308 Running away to Mars because you're sad.
309 No capes!
310 An eight-year-old girl, in the middle of the ghetto, this time of night, with quantum physics
311 books.
312 Stan Lee's love of alliteration.
313 The frankly ridiculous number of superheroes living in New York City.
314 A superstitious, cowardly lot.
315 A more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
316 Legless Lego Legolas' Lego lass.
317 A crazy random happenstance.
318 Another S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier.
319 That ludicrous display last night.
320 That ludicrous display last night.
321 Making it we...
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