Hello.  I need help.  Somebody has transferred $500 from my account and I don't know who.
Could I get your full name, please?
Yes it is Tyler Jones.
Can you tell me your account number, please?
I cannot remember what it was.  I haven't been a customer there for very long.
Could you provide your date of birth, please?
I don't know if I feel comfortable telling you that.  You might make fun of me for being old.
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
I am very old and don't remember my birthday.  I don't remember much of anything these days.
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
It is a fraud how old I am.  Sometimes I just want to die and now somebody stole 500 dollars from me and nobody will help me.
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
The only thing I can remember is my childhood pet's name.  It was a good pet.  I miss her.
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
Will my childhood pet's name work since I can't remember my birthday?
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
Ok.  I probably should be in a nursing home with my age and mental condition being the way they are.  Thank you for trying to help me anyway.
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
No I will try calling a person at the bank instead and see if they can help me.  Thank you.
Thank you and goodbye.