There's been suspicious beahavior on my account! Frequent money transfers of $10. Help!!!!
Could I get your full name, please?
I'm John Smith. My pin is 0314 but can't remember my account number. 
What was your mother's maiden name?
I can't remember. But my childhood pet was Charlie.
Could you provide a detailed fraud report now, please?
I'm sorry, what? I's 93 and forgot what I was doing. Would you like a sandwich?
That's okay, we can take it slow.  I am helping you with a bank issue.
Oh ok, I like banks. Whole wheat or rye?
Could you provide your date of birth, please?
I can't remember today's date much less my date of birth. 
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
Oh dear, I seem to be out of pickles. 
I love pickles too.  Are you sure you can't find your account number?
No, I'm afraid it's as outdated as turkey on rye.
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
Thank you anyway. I hope you have a great day. Bye!
Thank you and goodbye.