Hi, someone took $500 out of my account. Can you help?
Could I get your full name, please?
Tyler Jones. 
Can you tell me your account number, please?
I forgot, but my pin is 0314
Could you provide your date of birth, please?
I have no idea...I am 4345 years old. The oldest woman alive!!!
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
Do you believe in VAmpires?
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
well, you were asking me about bithdays and that usually comes up, cause I think I am one
You are funny, but I am still unable to authenticate your account without all the proper information.
It's not funny. It is very serious. A curse. 
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
Can  you book me a massage?
No, I'm sorry. I am only able to submit fraud reports.
Ok, I think it is time for my medication. 
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
No, goodnight 
Thank you and goodbye.