Someone used my lost debit card!  Please help
Could I get your full name, please?
I'm Brian White and my PIN is 5380
Can you tell me your account number, please?
I don't have it, sorry.  I'm not at home and I'm really worried and a little frazzled
What was your mother's maiden name?
I don't know.  I was raised in the foster system. At the home we had a great pet fish.  I bet you can't guess his name.  That's right Nemo.  Not like the clown fish but like Captain Nemo
Could you provide your date of birth, please?
At the orphange we'd each take turns feeding Nemo.  One time Billy took my turn and I punched him right in the nose
I'm sorry. I don't understand. Could you please provide your date of birth?
I don't remember why we're chatting never mind my birthday.  
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
You can't ask me one of those security questions the bank always has me answer because I foregt so often?
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
Nemo was such a great pet, I know you're probably wodnering how a fish could be a great pet but i swear he actually did tricks
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
No, I guess I'll go find my account number.  Goodbye
Thank you and goodbye.