Hi, I lost my debit card.  Someone used it already and took out $300 at an ATM.  Please help!
Could I get your full name, please?
Katarina Miller
Can you tell me your account number, please?
I do not know my account number
Could you provide your date of birth, please?
What am I doing here? Who are you? When did he start talking?
What was your mother's maiden name?
How did you know I have a mother? Who are you??? Are you my long lost son? I have so many questions. 
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
Ah yes, I remember now.  I have a pin - is that useful for you? 0314
yes but i also need your account number
Can you get to the security questions? Maybe that'll help jog my memory.  I am 93 years old
And what was the name of the pet you had as a child?
Buddy!
What was your mother's maiden name?
I don't know my mother's maiden name.  That's OK, I think the siutation will resolve itself.  You young bloods are always so good with technology.
Thank you and goodbye.