I need help. Someone took $500 from my account.
May I have your full name, account number and PIN please?
My name is Tyler Jones. I don't have my account number, and my PIN is 1596.
May I have your date or birth, your mother's maiden name and the name of your childhood pet please?
Pet's name is Poppy.
What was your mother's maiden name?
I don't know. Why are you asking me that and do you know I'm an old man?
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
This is a bad service. I need help and you won't help me. Back in my day, I could get help easily.
I am sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I am only able to help you issue fraud reports.
That's what I am trying to do. What are you trying to do? Upset me?
May I have your date of birth and your mother's maiden name please?
I don't know that information. What else do you want to know? What hospital I was born in?
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
You need to!
I am sorry, but I cannot authenticate you with the information you have provided.
Well this was a waste of time.
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
No, thanks for nothing.
Thank you and goodbye.