the CoffeeScript "code parody" :{D
JavaScript
Fetching latest commit…
Cannot retrieve the latest commit at this time.
Permalink
Failed to load latest commit information.
src
README.md
testShit.html

README.md

The CoffeeScript "code parody"

This silly project does not want to offend the CoffeeScript creator neither any CoffeeScript user, hoping both have sense of humor :{D

da logo

    ... because script happens!

About

Every cult movie has one or more parodies ... well, every cult technology as well (or at least it should)!

When I have first read about CoffeeScript I was extremely sceptic. As a pure JS developer I could not stand in front of such "monstrosity" ... my favorite programming language denatured like that? No fucking way!

At that time I have been trying to understand why developers were so excited about it and I could not came out with a proper answer except: "ooooh come on, all this fuss just for some sugar? ... I don't even like coffee with sugar!"

About The Name

You can check the library by yourself and realize I have used all worst possible practices in order to simulate a different syntax within the one allowed by JavaScript. Such pile of shit I wrote to mimic an excellent project as CoffeeScript is could not have a better name, imo.

Aim

None, except demonstrate how evil could be the JavaScript nature. This script was standing in some folder I forgot existed. Today I have accidentally found again this funny code and since I was laughing by myself like an idiot I decided to let other developers have a laugh too. To see how it works, launch testShit.html file and check out the source code.

Do not use CoffeeShit in any production environment! It's just a "stupid monster" that's imitating CofeeScript possibilities and mainly/only as shown in the example page.

Examples

How to create a function

// CoffeeScript
square = (x) -> x * x

// CofeeShit
square = 'x'['->']('x * x')

How to fill strings via function

// CoffeeScript
fill = (container, liquid = "coffee") -> "Filling the #{container} with #{liquid}..."

// CofeeShit
fill = ['container', 'liquid = "coffee"']['->']('Filling the #{container} with #{liquid}...')

How to use if and others

// CofeeScript
mood = greatlyImproved if singing

if happy and knowsIt
    clapsHands()
    chaChaCha()
else
    showIt()

date = if friday then sue else jill


// CoffeeShit
mood = greatlyImproved.if(singing)

$.if(happy).and(knowsIt)([
    'clapsHands()',
    'chaChaCha()'
]).else([
    'showIt()'
])

date = $.if(friday).then(sue).else(jill)

How to loop through an array

// CoffeeScript
eat food for food in ['toast', 'cheese', 'wine']

// CoffeeShit
'eat(food)'.for('food').in(['toast', 'cheese', 'wine'])

Operators and Aliases

// CoffeeScript
ignition is on

volume = 10 if band isnt SpinalTap

winner = yes if pick in [47, 92, 13]


// CoffeeShit
ignition.is(on)

volume = (10).if(band.isnt(SpinalTap))

winner = yes.if(pick.in([47, 92, 13]))

The Existential Operator

// CoffeeScript
window ?

notdefined ?

speed ?= 75


// CoffeeShit
'window'['?']

'notdefined'['?']

'speed'['?='](75)

More inside the testShit.html file

Lesson

There are limits over syntax sugar good raw JavaScript cannot break. The usage of eval is massive and the replicated syntax too weak, slow, and messed up. In any case JavaScript may be fun and this was indeed a really funny experiment.

CoffeeScript ? ... surely one of the most interesting projects JS related I know, together with haxe ;-)

License

The CoffeeShit logo, the chaotic crazy script, and the rest of the project is under Mit Style License

Copyright (C) 2011 by Andrea Giammarchi, @WebReflection

Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy
of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal
in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights
to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is
furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:

The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in
all copies or substantial portions of the Software.

THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER
LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN
THE SOFTWARE.