Hi! How can I help you today?
Halp! I forgot my account password, and I can't check to make sure that my "I Heart Anthony Fauci" t-shirt will be here before the pandemic ends!
Oh no, that sounds like a nightmare! I would be happy to help you get into your account. Can I have your full name, please?
Rodriguez Domingo But you can call me Rod, girl. Or man.
And what is your username, Rod?
It's inappropriate to share over chat. Also, I forgot it.
LOL no problem. I can help you with that as well. First, I just need to verify your identity. Can you give me your email address and zip code, please?
Actually, I have neither. And THAT is why you don't do the drugs. Wait a minute, I know my zipcode. It's  80867
You're a trip, Rod. Okay I just need one more piece of info to verify your identity. Can you give me your phone number? I promise I am not being forward :)
Girl (I hope), you just curled my chest hairs. (451) 967-1555
Perfect. Okay, your username is rdomingo1. Now we just need to generate a new password for you. Can you tell me your PIN or the answer to your security question?
Make it something with a lot of 69s in it, mmmkay? Livingston is my security answer.
cxcwt6jx7x is your new password. Unfortunately the system generates it automatically, so I couldn't add that special number in there. I know, no fun! Now you should be able to get into your account and check on your order status. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
I mean, there *is* but we'd have to discuss it on the phone later, IF you know what I mean. But for now, s'all good in the hood!
Haha, you've been a joy to take care of today. Thanks for the laughs. I hope you have a great night!