Hello, how can I help you today?
I want a premium membership so I can buy everything on your website! I love it all! How do I get one?
Well that's easy!

You just have to buy things. You can't buy our membership, but after $500 in purchases in the last year you're officially a Bronze member. $1000 gets you Silver and $2000 gets you to the top at Gold!
Yay! Thank you very much. Time to work out the old credit card. :) Thank you!
Is there anything else I can help you with today?
That's all I wanted to know!
Well then have a nice day!