Hello! How can I help you today?
Joseph Banter, at your service!
Hello Joseph!
This Michael Kors jacket is very comely, but it simply doesn't suit a portly gentleman such as myself. I need to return it because I got it in Medium, and perhaps it's time to upgrade to an Extra Large, if you know what I mean! I am an exalted Gold Member with your fine establishment, so I do hope you'll be able to process the return for me.
I know exactly what you mean. I think everyone is feeling the effects of the covid 15. I can help you with your return.
The COVID 15, a-ha! Like when one goes off to college and accumulates additional poundage! I do appreciate the levity, good sir and/or ma'am.
Alright Joseph, I have your account pulled up and now I just need to validate your purchase. Can I please have your username, email address, and order ID please.
jbanter2 is my username. Unoriginal, I know. jbanter2@email.com Order ID: 4163785063
Thank you! And you said you are a Gold member, correct?
Vraimant! That's French for "really!" because I am fancy.
Thank you. As a gold member, you get unlimited returns. Can I have your full address please so I can give you a shipping label.
Mais oui! 7723 Brushwick Dr  Brighton, MI 63703
Now how would you like to return your item? In store, drop off center, or by mail?
I suppose I can have my driver take me to the nearest outlet of your fine establishment. In your parlance, I believe that would be "in store".
You are all set Joseph!
Excelsior!
Is there anything else I can help you with today?
A thousand thanks for your efficient customer service this fine day. That will be all!
I do hope you have a fantastic day!