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<Title>The Daily Globe: THE LETTER "J" WEEKLY NEWSLETTER</Title>
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The Letter J
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<H1 ALIGN=CENTER><FONT COLOR="#339966">"J" World's Weekly Newsletter</FONT><BR>
<FONT COLOR="black" SIZE=-5>Published every Wednesday evening</FONT></H1>
<TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=4>
<TR><TD WIDTH=10%><FONT COLOR="#993300"><B>Vol. 2, No. 1</B></FONT></TD><TD WIDTH=80%><CENTER></CENTER></TD><TD ALIGN=right WIDTH=10%><FONT COLOR="#330099"><B>March 26, 1997</B></FONT></TD></TR>
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The Letter "J" is a weekly newsletter sent via e-mail and published here at <A HREF="index.html">The Daily Globe</A> each Wednesday evening. Think of it as the reader's
digest of newsletters. The Letter "J" consists of short articles or items in a wide range of topics
both by and for "J" World & Daily Globe readers. The newsletter is essentially a communal pen-pal letter and a forum to exchange news, ideas, and experiences. Subscribers should think of themselves of being in a family of like-minded strangers and you're encouraged to submit items to the newsletter. If you'd like to receive this newsletter each Wednesday evening by e-mail, follow the instructions at the bottom of the newsletter.</TD>
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<H2><IMG SRC="img/wrldmov.gif" WIDTH="32" HEIGHT="32"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"> This Week's Ask J Anything Question & Answer</FONT></H2>
<H2><A NAME="JOKE"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-17.gif"> Top 10 Rejection Lines</H2>
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)<BR><BR>
10. I think of you as a brother.<BR>
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")<BR><BR>
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.<BR>
(I don't want to do my dad)<BR><BR>
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.<BR>
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)<BR><BR>
7. My life is too complicated right now.<BR>
(I don't want you spending the whole night cause you may hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)<BR><BR>
6. I've got a boyfriend.<BR>
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).<BR><BR>
5. I don't date men where I work.<BR>
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.)<BR><BR>
4. It's not you, it's me.<BR>
(It's you.)<BR><BR>
3. I'm concentrating on my career.<BR>
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)<BR><BR>
2. I'm celibate.<BR>
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)<BR><BR>
and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means):<BR><BR>
1. Let's be friends.<BR>
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other
men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.)<BR><BR>
And in response... The male perspective on the same issue ...<BR>
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean...)<BR><BR>
10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)<BR><BR>
and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means):<BR><BR>
1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)<BR><BR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Contributed by Jim F.
</FONT>
<H2><A NAME="DATES"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-10.gif"> Polygamy</H2>
Philip, the Landgrave of Hesse, Germany, was one of Martin Luther's chief protectors in the
early 1500's. After Philip recovered from a severe illness, he resolved to marry his
mistress, Marguerite de Staal. Unfortunately, he was already married to Princess
Catherine of Saxony, who had presented him with several children. He appealed
to Martin Luther, citing quotations from the Old Testament to aid his cause. Today
in 1539, Luther and seven other divines issued a warrant approving Philip's 2nd
marriage to his mistress.<BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="MISC"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-20.gif"> The Typo That Wouldn't Die</H2>
John "Gotta Love That Typo" C. responded last time to Sara W.'s comments about
his original statements about the then-upcoming US election. Sara W. writes back
as follows:<BR><BR>
I never said that Bob Dole was a saint, and I never said I agree with all (or
necessarily any) of his policies. However, in response to John "Gotta Love
That Typo" C.'s letter, I'd like to say that anyone who believes that Bill
Clinton is the perfect model of moral virtue has a case of permanent
blindness. It's true that no one is perfect (including Bob Dole), but no
other single president has done more to destroy the integrity of the
presidency. I've lived overseas, and many people in the former Soviet Union,
where I lived, were amazed that someone like Bill Clinton was electable. I
hate it that the United States has elected a president who is the
laughingstock of the international community, but obviously John C. doesn't
see it that way.<BR><BR>
I'm sure we'll hear some more commentary about my "sour grapes" in future
issues from Mr. C., but for now I've got to go.<BR><BR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Contributed by Sara W.
</FONT><BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="DISCUSS"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-11.gif"> More Thinking Through</H2>
Last time, Dave H. talked a bit about the election system in the US, and particularly
with regard to my own.<BR><BR>
I wrote in partial response to his response (confusing, isn't it?) that "[m]y
pocket copy of the Bill of Rights says freedom "of the press", not "what
is" news or newsworthy. I don't disagree that the presses right to report
what "is" news is absolute; what I do question is their judgment in what
that news "is"." Dave wrote back to say:<BR><BR>
What is the freedom to publish the news if it does not come with the
freedom to determine what the news is?<BR><BR>
I confess I often disagree with the selection of news stories, the tack
which is taken on them, and the sound-bite give-us-30-seconds-and-
we'll-explain-Bosnia-to-you nature of most network news. But I would
rather have the media make that decision and vote on it by turning my
TV off, than have it regulated in any fashion.<BR><BR>
I also wrote "I still don't understand the value of paying an enormous sum
of money so these guys can go to a convention, drink and employ hookers,
just to vote for the guy that got the popular vote. If, as Dave says, 49 out
of 50 states "require" that they vote for the popular-vote-getter, then what
the hell good are they except to spend more of our tax dollars on a
meaningless boondoggle. Wouldn't it make more sense to have the same
electoral divisions to get the benefit that Dave states above but drop the fat
cat electoral college pinheads?<BR><BR>
Dave replied as follows:<BR><BR>
I concur that one could come up with a "simplified" method to achieve
the same ends. I do wonder how much money is really spent on such
expeditions, though. And, frankly, is it worth saving that amount of
money to go through the expense of amending the Constitution, which
explicitly calls for electors to gather together?<BR><BR>
Thanks for the thoughts (and the forum).<BR><BR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Contributed by Dave H.
</FONT>
<H2><A NAME="JNEWS"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-18.gif"> Busy, Busy, Busy</H2>
I know it's been three weeks since the last edition of The Letter "J" and I appreciate
everybody's patience (yes, I know I'm slacking).
<H2><A NAME="PUZZLE"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-26.gif"> Word Play</H2>
"I can't remember what I had for lunch on Tuesday. It must have been Chinese food -
that's what I eat every weekday. I know I had chow mein on Monday and fried rice Wednesday -
plus other things, of course; I always order three dishes. To avoid monotony, I don't
order exactly the same three items on successive days. Golden Wok's menu has only
five dishes on it, so I have to repeat individual items. For example, I had spring rolls
Wednesday and Thursday. But I never order the same dish three days running. That's
why I had egg drop soup today instead of hot and sour soup, even though I like hot and
sour soup so much that I have it at least every other weekday. Some day I'll try both
soups at the same meal. But Tuesday's lunch is still a complete blank."<BR><BR>
Can you reconstruct my lunch for each day of this week, including Tuesday?<BR><BR>
<HR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
The answers to last week's Word Play<BR><BR>
Can you link "UTTER" to "CHAOS" in 11 steps by changing one letter at a time? Only common,
uncapitalized English words should be used, and the order of letters should not change.<BR><BR>
The Answers Is:<BR><BR>
UTTER<BR>
OTTER<BR>
OUTER<BR>
MUTER<BR>
MUTES<BR>
MOTES<BR>
MOLES<BR>
COLTS<BR>
COATS<BR>
CHATS<BR>
CHAOS<BR>
</FONT><BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="QUOTE"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-28.gif"> Words To Live By</H2>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
<BLOCKQUOTE>
-- John Dryden
</BLOCKQUOTE>
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<H2><A NAME="JOKES"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-17.gif"> Lifesavers</H2>
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to
broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their
eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to
pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then
one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers,
more flavors than you could ever imagine.<BR><BR>
"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these,"
announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to
identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the
teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their
mouths, every one of the children was stumped.<BR><BR>
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something
your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."<BR><BR>
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his
mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"<BR><BR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Contributed by Rob L.
</FONT>
<H2><A NAME="ESSAY"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-35.gif"> What is Psychedelic?
or
Why Stoner Chicks Rule:
Let's set some boundaries</H2>
I was trying to answer Olga's question about what all of my CDs have in
common. I pondered a moment, slowly scanning my humble collection - and then
I realized: they're all stoney.<BR><BR>
Now, Olga is a Ph.D. in physical chemistry who was 1st in her class at one
of the Soviet Union's best universities. She doesn't go for words like
"stoney", just as she asks for elaboration when I say, "the creative spirit
of the universe".<BR><BR>
I tried, "music that's good to listen to when you're stoned." So, we got
stoned and listened.<BR><BR>
"Yep," she agreed after some days of this procedure, "they're all stoney."
It transcends "taste" and goes into... well, what is stoney.<BR><BR>
For any of you who have never been stoned - you won't know what I'm talking
about. Only experience produces this kind of knowledge and understanding.
After my first psychedelic journey - I suddenly understood psychedelic
better. I could see it - what I tripped on was psychedelic. For instance,
plastic is not psychedelic - cement is, but not asphalt. What moves? What
becomes animate?<BR><BR>
Cars? no. Buildings? yes, some. Sky? definitely. Animals? not really, but
it's great to be stoned or tripping around them. Plants? the best.
International airports? the worst.<BR><BR>
How about music? Who's the ultimate stoney/psychedelic band? Pink Floyd? The
Doors? CCR? Led Zeppelin? It's what we can all agree on. Stoniness is
subjective - I'm inclined to consider it as a field, or a group effect.
Naturally, you can be a group of 1 and still have the stoney field.<BR><BR>
A lot of heads (see glossary, p. 318) think that The Grateful Dead were the
best, but I never did. They maintained that, "you have to go to a show!" And
I was very near a show, once, on my bicycle riding around the parking lot at
Shoreline with a head full of acid. My co-voyager was in the same condition.
Probably the highlight was standing on a small dune and watching the Eternal
Sunset.<BR><BR>
Anyway, the parking lot was good enough and we could hear the music - but it
wasn't so loud that it was annoying. Okay, so technically I've not been, and
I guess never will now. Ah, life's missed opportunities!<BR><BR>
Pretty much anything from Peter Gabriel is stoney. All the way back to that
tripped out old Genesis stuff. I think Beck should win the award for, "New
Stoney Artist". <BR><BR>
See, here's where the problems start. Some people really like to play
ultra-high-tech video games or just watch TV or movies while high. This is
definitely not what I would consider stoney or psychedelic. I think one of
my friends said it best when he responded to a telephone call, "see a movie?
At this point [in the trip] it would be kind of redundant."<BR><BR>
Most who consider themselves stoners much prefer a natural setting for their
psychedelic use. For smoking ganja, well, it turns out that just about
anything can be stoney: taking the drab bus to work in the morning has
become much more interesting with the help of a pre-departure blunt. <BR><BR>
Fractals are pretty stoney, and so are insects. For the first time in my
life I let a snail crawl on my hand during a recent journey. An observer
wrote me, "one of the most touching moments was seeing you in my garden in
the drizzle. You slowed yourself to the snail's pace... a good exercise for
the hare."<BR><BR>
Let's keep in mind that these are controlled substances which the government
has declared 'baaaaaad'.<BR><BR>
All weather is stoney. <BR><BR>
Stoney is sitting around with your friends, smoking out, and thinking that,
"for instance, Bill Clinton just absolutely cannot do this!" Who would
_want_ to be president, or anything, if you couldn't pass a joint while
dancing at a reggae concert, or playing with your cat, stoned.<BR><BR>
Sex isn't necessarily stoney, though it's very psychedelic.<BR><BR>
Going to work, on the other hand, can be stoney, but it's definitely not
psychedelic.<BR><BR>
Showers? stoney. Microwave ovens? death.<BR><BR>
Cocaine, heroin, etc., are not stoney nor psychedelic. <BR><BR>
Math is stoney, but it's hellua hard to do when baked. Raising the dead...
might be stoney. But, as Sheryl pointed out, one should not make remarks
about anything that one does not have direct empirical knowledge of.<BR><BR>
Anthropology is stoney. Business is anti-psychedelic.<BR><BR>
Tea is stoney, as is müsli. Coffee is more psychedelic.<BR><BR>
Ultimately, tobacco and alcohol are not stoney nor psychedelic, but a little
is understandable.<BR><BR>
All religion is stoney, at least to some degree.<BR><BR>
Cartoons are stoney, some sci-fi. And how can you watch, for instance, Repo
Man and not be stoned. No less than you can watch "Strange Brew" and not
guzzle down some suds.<BR><BR>
Books? hooo - the list is long, let's start with the classics: Lewis Carol,
Herman Hesse, Aldous Huxley, Kurt Vonnegut... damn, it's a male stoney world
out there! Where can we turn? Who can we look to? Most of the stoney women I
know are women I know personally. And the other ones were authors of obscure
books in odd places that I just picked up. <BR><BR>
Probably none of you know Mae-Wan Ho, she's a biologist - kind of famous in
the electromagnetic investigation circles. Anyway, she's very stoney, though
not a stoner herself.<BR><BR>
In fact, of the scientists whom I know (believe me Sheryl, all scientists
are a bit kooky - most of the stoney people are women. At scientific
congresses (depending on the congress), most attendees are not stoney.
Anthropology conferences differ in this regard.<BR><BR>
Zippos are stoney, as are dinosaurs, the universe, the Dali Lama, language,
the British Museum (most museums), the arctic regions of the earth, chaos
theory, seasons, wind (are tornadoes stoney?), earthquakes, inner balance,
kissing, "J" World, used bookstores, train tracks, burritos, knives, chess,
people in general, martial arts, ruins, public transportation.<BR><BR>
War is as un-stoney as it gets, pretty much any kind of fighting or conflict
is out.<BR><BR>
Life is stoney.<BR><BR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Contributed by Sean O'Matic, of course
</FONT><BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="TRIVIA"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-31.gif"> Stop & Go</H2>
Name at least five songs which have GO as the first word of the title. Now name
five more songs with STOP as the first word of the title.
<BR><BR>
<HR>
<FONT SIZE=-1>
Answers to last week's trivia<BR><BR>
If Earth were the size of a billiard ball, and wiped off the salty moisture, running your
fingers over the surface, would you be able to feel the mountains and ocean basins?<BR><BR>
According to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine (1985), No. "The surface of the earth
would feel as smooth as ivory. Despite how a mountain may look from the bottom, Earth has
a very smooth surface for its size.<BR><BR>
Ross T. also answered, "no. If the earth were that small, it would be a (very
dense) black hole. If you tried to handle it, you would simply be sucked into it.<BR>
</FONT>
<H2><A NAME="OPINION"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-25.gif"> You're Free - To Do As We Tell You</H2>
Here in California this election was Proposition 215, a state measure to make it legal for
a doctor to recommend the use of marijuana for patients to ease their suffering in cases
deemed appropriate by the doctor. It passed, not by a wide margin, but still the people
of California decided this issue for themselves. Unbeknownst to me (at least until this
week), Arizona also passed a similar measure (although apparently broader in scope
including harder drugs such as cocaine and even heroin).<BR><BR>
This all seems fine and dandy to me. Here we have two situations of the people in a
democracy deciding issues themselves which politicians would never touch.
Politicians frequently talk about "mandates" from the people but ballot propositions
are the best (and perhaps only) examples of these mandates. In these cases,
an issue politicians have ignored is put on the state ballot by getting the requisite
number of signatures to do so. Then the question is voted on and decided by the
people of that state. Pretty nifty concept, the people actually voting what they
want. California is the first state I've lived in that actually uses state propositions
and they're a lot more interesting and meaningful then voting for politicians.<BR><BR>
So far so good, the people had spoken and they said drugs were OK for people
who were suffering from deadly and/or painful illnesses. Well, along comes the
US federal government and says "wait a minute, we don't like this one bit."
This week, there were congressional hearings of some kind trying to figure out
how to stop these two state measure from happening. Apparently testimony was
introduced saying, in effect, "that the government has studied the problem and
everybody agrees that illegal drugs have no medicinal value whatsoever and
that settles it, case closed, no more studies, we've decided what's best for
you." Never mind the fact that every illegal drug was either originally created as
a medicine or has been used for that purpose at some time in history prior to
it becoming illegal in the US. Never mind that marijuana likely became illegal
because of pressure from newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst in
the name of money (his own). Never mind that our government has been
waging, in their own words, a "war" against drugs for no apparent reason
other than P.R. for the masses or to get re-elected.<BR><BR>
The feds have already considered taking away the medical license of any
doctor who recommends the use of marijuana to say, a dying AIDS patient.
I have a huge problem with the government trying to force a doctor not to
use his own best judgment. Every doctor has to take the Hippocratic Oath
when they become a doctor which dictates how they must treat each person
in their care. When this oath comes into conflict with laws and government
policy who do you think suffers? A few years ago, the US government told
doctors they couldn't even mention abortions unless they wanted to lose
their funding. Same thing, they hog tied doctors from being able to uphold
their oath.<BR><BR>
But by far the most infuriating thing about this latest incident is that the
actual people have decided what we want as a society and the
government, acting as separate <I>from</I> the people instead of
made up <I>of</I> the people, is saying no, we'll decide what's best
for you. You're too stupid and ignorant to decide for yourselves. This
whole democracy thing was just a sham, we didn't want to have to tell
you this but that's the way it is. If you want to live under our roof, you
have to observe our rules. Sounds like an annoying parent, doesn't it.
And I think that's exactly the dynamic at work here. A society of
people who can decide for themselves what they want their society
to be like doesn't need as much governing as we've got going on right
now and that means people in government could - gasp - be out of a
job. So they'll try anything to hold on to their power. They don't want to
let go even a little for fear that too many people might notice they're
not wearing any clothes (just like the rest of us).<BR><BR>
During this brouhaha, the federal government has suggested that
people were duped into voting for these measures. I guess the
politicians saying this all had very truthful advertisements. And
I think we'll all be seeing flying pigs any second now. They said
people didn't really now what they were voting for. This, despite
the fact that every conservative pinhead organization was trying
it's damnedest to stop the measure in California. The FBI even
raided an organization in California that distributed marijuana
to AIDS sufferers a few weeks before the election. Doonesbury
did cartoons about the proposition. The bottom line of all this
was never said better than by the late, great Bill Hicks who said
"you are free ..... to do as we tell you." He waxed philosophical
that our freedom is just an illusion to keep us from realizing
how little freedom we actually have. And before anybody gets
a jingoistic hair up his or her ass (see, I can be PC too), I'm
not saying Americans have no freedom or that we have less
freedom than other countries. What I am saying is that we
have less freedom than we're led to believe we have. We're
led to believe we live in a democracy where we the people
decide what kind of world we want to live in. But, as this
incident points out, when we the people say what we want
and the US government doesn't like it, well, then we see their
true colours in panoramic spectrascopic technicolor. And
no matter how hard I look, I can't see any clothes.<BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="SPORTS"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-29.gif"> Packers Update, Week 14</H2>
It's been three weeks since the last Packers report and it started off particularly embarrassing
and frustrating as the Packers played as poorly as they did against Kansas City, maybe worse,
as Dallas walked all over them to win for the 6th straight time. Green Bay has got to get over
their psychological problems with the Cowboys if they hope to win the Super Bowl this year.
On the upside, they held Dallas to no touchdowns. Two weeks ago, they beat St. Louis after
a poor 1st half showing a bit of the old form in the second half. New receiver Andre Rison,
who just joined the team on waivers is a 3-time all-pro wide receiver who Favre will be looking
to more and more to fill the holes left by the loss of Brooks, Freeman, and Chumura. Last week
they played a little better again, beating Chicago 28-17, with a boost from returning Freeman.
This makes the pack 10-3 for the season and solidly in 1st place of their division. But this
week, Green Bay takes on Denver, who is 12-1. The good news is the game is at home,
which should help, and, perhaps more importantly, Broncos quarterback John Elway may
not play if his hamstring is still giving him trouble. As always, I'll have on my cheesehead
for luck, you should cross your fingers.<BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="FILM"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-13.gif"> Run To (or From) Daylight</H2>
Seagram's had a VIP reception and special screening of Sylvester Stallone's new flick,
Daylight. Now, I'm not much of a Stallone fan, so my expectations were pretty low.
But this action turkey was a pure cheese fest from start to finish.
This new film, if you'll forgive the pun, had plot holes you could build a tunnel through.
A few of the special effects were pretty good, and a few of the actions scenes were
well done, but that was about it for the positives. The dialog was hopelessly cheesy
and funny where it wasn't supposed to and remarkably unfunny when it was supposed
to be. My recommendation ..... run away.<BR><BR>
<H2><A NAME="TRUE"><IMG BORDER=0 SRC="img/lj-36.gif"> Can You Believe It Took This Long?</H2>
The Senate recently passed a bipartisan measure to abolish the federal Tea Examiners,
which for the past 99 years has met two days a year in a Brooklyn warehouse to sample
teas from around the world to determine if they are fit to drink. "Under this measure,"
sponsor Senator Hank Brown (R-Colorado), said, "Americans will be responsible for
determining for themselves what tea they like and don't like."<BR><BR>
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