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| <HTML> | |
| <HEAD> | |
| <META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> | |
| <META NAME="Author" CONTENT="Ian James"> | |
| <META NAME="GENERATOR" CONTENT="Mozilla/4.02 [en]C-DIAL (Win95; U) [Netscape]"> | |
| <TITLE>joe</TITLE> | |
| </HEAD> | |
| <BODY TEXT="#FFFF00" BGCOLOR="#000000" LINK="#FF0000" VLINK="#551A8B" ALINK="#990000"> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="Old English Text MT"><FONT SIZE=+4>Because You Demanded | |
| It...</FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="Gifs/copter.GIF" HEIGHT=200 WIDTH=260></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+2>Do | |
| Not Mock the Unmarked Helicopter!!!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER> </CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT SIZE=+1>Hehehehehe! Just | |
| when you thought it might be safe...I return! Well, actually, I do | |
| not return. I am not Joe. Joe is a <I>little</I> unavailable | |
| at the moment though he <I>assures</I> me he is resting comfortably and | |
| yes, the Pentagon <I>really does </I>have a basement!</FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT SIZE=+1>Thus, let me introduce | |
| myself. I am Juanita the Ghoul, Joe's younger, cuter and infinitely | |
| more hip younger sister by Dad's second wife (whew!) I am here in | |
| his stead to entertain, delight, and make a mockery of all the NVA news | |
| that is fit to scandalize! Yee Haw! So without further adue, | |
| let me welcome you to the all new, all improved, and all not at all entirely | |
| different-</FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+2>JAUNITA | |
| THE GHOUL PAGE!!!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT SIZE=+1>First, I will begin with | |
| the good stuff...<IMG SRC="images/joeghoul.JPG" HEIGHT=138 WIDTH=140 ALIGN=RIGHT>Here | |
| you see the only remaining picture of Joe the Ghoul. Handsome devil, | |
| isn't he? (By the way, Bunny, he wants to know if he can pick you | |
| up at 8pm...is that good for you?) I tried to capture the infamous Minutenus | |
| Smith on film, but alas he was too crafty for me and succeeded in destroying | |
| all of his personal records before I could ferret them out...So in his | |
| honor I begin with the</FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+2>"Timeless | |
| Rules for Survival In NVA"...</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>10. | |
| Do not mock the Prince...whoever it is. Unless you think you can | |
| get away with it, and even then be careful...Princes may bite!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>9. | |
| The Gangrel are still running that close-out sale on Wolf's Claws... Yours | |
| now for only $19.95, and not only will you get this useful pocket fisherman, | |
| but we'll throw in this lovely set of Ginsu knives for the next one hundred | |
| callers!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>8. | |
| Um, just a reminder, DO NOT LICK THE KEEPER!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>7. | |
| Okay, Temporis, we DON'T got that...are you happy now?</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>6. | |
| You too can have that Voodoo that the Tremere do so well...Just sign here...oh, | |
| come on, you don't <I>really</I> need to labor over all that fine print...</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>5. | |
| <I>NEVER </I>ask "hey, what's in that briefcase?"</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>4. | |
| Just remember, Jamal is always watching!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>3. | |
| Always keep the Toreador entertained...leave them unattended for more than | |
| five minutes and you can expect a praxis seizure...</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>2. | |
| Obtenebration...It's not just a discipline, it is a LIFESTYLE!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>1. | |
| If it's ticking, give it to the Brujah. Just don't ever let them | |
| run with scissors!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00"><FONT SIZE=+2>Okay, | |
| Moving right along...</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00"><FONT SIZE=+1>Keeping | |
| up with that oh-so important NVA Tradition, I proudly present</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+2>Juanita's | |
| Hot Hunkalicious Hell-bound Honey's (of ill-omen)</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00"><FONT SIZE=+1>(in | |
| appearance of order)</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER> </CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><TABLE BORDER COLS=2 WIDTH="100%" > | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>10th | |
| Honey of the World- Colin Jackson of Clan Brujah-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/col.JPG" HEIGHT=176 WIDTH=171></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER> </CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Okay, see, I like a man | |
| who can handle his stick! Being that he is Canadian and all, you | |
| know he will always have a fridge stocked with beer and many methods for | |
| keeping warm at night. In short, Colin is a honey!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>9th | |
| Honey of the World- Richard King of Clan Tremere-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/richk.JPG" HEIGHT=173 WIDTH=140></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Okay, word is around | |
| the Domain of NVA they call this guy "Big Dick King" for a reason. | |
| Who am I to question? Granted the guy is also armed like a small | |
| third world country, but I suppose with a name like that you have to protect | |
| the investment...</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=TOP> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>8th | |
| Honey of the World- Ligadier Truffaut of Clan Toreador-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/ligs.JPG" HEIGHT=200 WIDTH=150></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Aww, he's just soooo | |
| cute! I want to hug him and pet him and call him "Liggy"! He's just | |
| sooo FABULOUS!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>7th | |
| Honey of the World- Constance Weatherwax of Clan Malkavian-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/const.JPG" HEIGHT=231 WIDTH=140></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Now, I know my brother | |
| Joe told me a sure way to get killed in NVA is to date a Malk woman. | |
| I am hoping that the curse does not stretch to the male side of the clan! | |
| Constance has it all: looks, charm, a hat that says "Woody" and a very | |
| famous and wise Daddy...not to mention a subscription to the Dimwitty Anti-tribune! | |
| This guy is definitely marrying material, single ladies!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>6th | |
| Honey of the World- Capt. O'Donovan of Clan Toreador-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/captod.JPG" HEIGHT=208 WIDTH=143></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Whooo! It would | |
| be like datin' James Bond!!! Shaken & Stirred, please!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=TOP> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>5th | |
| Honey of the World- Flourian Laws, Follower of Set-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">The self-proclaimed king | |
| of party-boys is definitely the type of guy every girl should date at least | |
| once. He's cute, cuddly, well-financed, and chances are he does not | |
| want to go home to meet the parents...but shoot, he sure knows how to have | |
| a good time!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>4th | |
| Honey of the World- Liam Kilkenny of Clan Ventrue-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/kilken.JPG" HEIGHT=204 WIDTH=97></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">He has the cutest little | |
| accent `swoon`. Dresses nice, has his own driver, and if you can | |
| ignore the rather unnerving posse of thugs with guns and baseball bats | |
| that seem to be around him all the time, a great conversationalist!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>3rd | |
| Honey of the World- Rictor Barnes of Clan Lasombra-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/barnes.JPG" HEIGHT=197 WIDTH=103></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">I always did have a thing | |
| for those red-headed men! Rictor seems to be casual, quiet, and quite | |
| pleasant if you can ignore his penchant for acts of mass carnage. | |
| And, since he is a Lasombra, you'd never have to worry about someone walking | |
| in on ya and turning on the lights!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>2nd | |
| Honey of the World- Frankie Luciano of Clan Tremere-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/frankie1.JPG" HEIGHT=176 WIDTH=140></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">You know how every Mafia | |
| movie has that one really cute mobster who wears the cool suit and looks | |
| like <I>the mack</I> even when he might be chopping up a body into small, | |
| easily disposable pieces? The NVA Tremere have one of those and his | |
| name is Frankie!</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| <TD> | |
| <CENTER><B><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000"><FONT SIZE=+1>1st | |
| Honey of the World- Sir Sexton Hardcastle of Clan Ventrue-</FONT></FONT></FONT></B></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><IMG SRC="images/sexth.JPG" HEIGHT=188 WIDTH=144></CENTER> | |
| <FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">Okay, here we have it | |
| all. Money (he's a Ventrue), Power (he's the Prince), Athletic Talent(well, | |
| he plays pool pretty good) and Culture (that's what the "Sir" means, the | |
| guy really is a blue blood). What more could any largely available | |
| single ghoul ask for?</FONT></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER> </CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00"><FONT SIZE=+1>That's | |
| all for now, Folks!</FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
| <CENTER><FONT FACE="OCR A Extended"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00"><FONT SIZE=+1><A HREF="linkage.html">back | |
| to the links</A></FONT></FONT></FONT></CENTER> | |
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