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<TITLE>Self Induced Negativity</TITLE>
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    <td><h2><tt>Domain Provider Replaces Employees With Drooling Chimps</tt></h2></td>
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<br>
<tt>
-Saltlick City, Utah
<br>
<br>
        Nethoaxing, a leading national provider of affordable business and
personal internet domains for the world wide web, just announced a new
employee design which would allow Nethoaxing to provide cheaper rates to its
customers. In a brilliant management move, Nethoaxing laid off all of its
unnecessary support and billing employees, which constituted the company's
largest expenses. In their stead, Nethoaxing hired replacement top-qualified
brown and black-coated Swahili chimpanzees. One Nethoaxing representative
beams brightly describing the role of Toppo, a new hiree: "Toppo weighs in at
170 pounds and has a shiny coat. That's a very important quality in this
business." Toppo also affirmed his commitment to the company and its
policies. "Ooo oo ieee a," he exclaimed while baring his teeth in
anticipation, phelgm dribbling down his chin.
<br>
<br>
        "These new chimpanzees have been a great investment," Nethoaxing
states. "Instead of wasting customer money hiring human beings to rack their
brains, thinking of excuses for why our servers are down and why we haven't
set up their domains after 3 weeks, we have apes whom we can hire to say
equally meaningless bullshit for hundreds less bananas a day." Nethoaxing
declined to comment on the situation of families of laid-off employees who
no longer have bananas to eat.
<br><br>
        One ex-Nethoaxing employee expressed his outrage at the recent
layoffs. "Those guys can't do this!" he said, whining pointedly. "I'm
forever, you bastards!" he exclaimed as a 13 year-old boy stole his pocket
protector and smashed his glasses under his shoe.
<br><br>
        "Humans may have evolved from our fellow chimpanzees. In 10 million
years, these creatures will be our intellectual equals!" Nethoaxing affirms.
Nethoaxing also notes that is about how long it currently takes them to
process an order for domain setup.

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	<HTML>
	<HEAD>
	<TITLE>Self Induced Negativity</TITLE>
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	<body text="#ffffff" vlink="#551a8b" alink="#ff0000" link="#0000ee" bgcolor="#000000">
	<TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=0 CELLSPACING=0 ROWSPACING=0 VALIGN=top>
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	<table cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2">
	<tr>
	<td><center><img src="hoax.gif" width=200 height=223 alt="" border="0"></center></td>
	<td><h2><tt>Domain Provider Replaces Employees With Drooling Chimps</tt></h2></td>
	</tr>
	</table>

	<br>
	<br>
	<tt>
	-Saltlick City, Utah
	<br>
	<br>
	Nethoaxing, a leading national provider of affordable business and
	personal internet domains for the world wide web, just announced a new
	employee design which would allow Nethoaxing to provide cheaper rates to its
	customers. In a brilliant management move, Nethoaxing laid off all of its
	unnecessary support and billing employees, which constituted the company's
	largest expenses. In their stead, Nethoaxing hired replacement top-qualified
	brown and black-coated Swahili chimpanzees. One Nethoaxing representative
	beams brightly describing the role of Toppo, a new hiree: "Toppo weighs in at
	170 pounds and has a shiny coat. That's a very important quality in this
	business." Toppo also affirmed his commitment to the company and its
	policies. "Ooo oo ieee a," he exclaimed while baring his teeth in
	anticipation, phelgm dribbling down his chin.
	<br>
	<br>
	"These new chimpanzees have been a great investment," Nethoaxing
	states. "Instead of wasting customer money hiring human beings to rack their
	brains, thinking of excuses for why our servers are down and why we haven't
	set up their domains after 3 weeks, we have apes whom we can hire to say
	equally meaningless bullshit for hundreds less bananas a day." Nethoaxing
	declined to comment on the situation of families of laid-off employees who
	no longer have bananas to eat.
	<br><br>
	One ex-Nethoaxing employee expressed his outrage at the recent
	layoffs. "Those guys can't do this!" he said, whining pointedly. "I'm
	forever, you bastards!" he exclaimed as a 13 year-old boy stole his pocket
	protector and smashed his glasses under his shoe.
	<br><br>
	"Humans may have evolved from our fellow chimpanzees. In 10 million
	years, these creatures will be our intellectual equals!" Nethoaxing affirms.
	Nethoaxing also notes that is about how long it currently takes them to
	process an order for domain setup.

	</tt>

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