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| <HTML> | |
| <HEAD> | |
| <TITLE>Self Induced Negativity</TITLE> | |
| </HEAD> | |
| <body text="#ffffff" vlink="#551a8b" alink="#ff0000" link="#0000ee" bgcolor="#000000"> | |
| <TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=0 CELLSPACING=0 ROWSPACING=0 VALIGN=top> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD> | |
| | |
| </TD> | |
| <TD align="left"> | |
| <table cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2"> | |
| <tr> | |
| <td><center><img src="kervin.jpg" width=161 height=195 alt="" border="0"></center></td> | |
| <td><h2><tt>Hackers Stage Protest, Demand School to "Free Kervin!"</tt></h2></td> | |
| </tr> | |
| </table> | |
| <br> | |
| <br> | |
| <tt> | |
| In a highly organized protest occuring last | |
| saturday, computer hackers gathered in front of Lewis | |
| Junior High School to solicit the release of "Kervin", a | |
| pet rock confiscated at the school computer lab by | |
| teacher Elaine Marken. Kervin, an arrow-head shaped | |
| rock, was impounded nearly 6 months ago when Mrs. Marken | |
| found a group of teenagers trying to "crack" the | |
| computer's CPU with Kervin. | |
| <br> | |
| <br> | |
| "This is completely unfair! We know hacking is | |
| illegal. But we don't think smashing the rock into the | |
| disk drive was destructive. In the end, it would have | |
| exposed essential flaws in the architecture," says a | |
| 12-year-old hacker by the nick "olos." Olos declined to | |
| mention why those flaws did not exist until he and his | |
| friends clamped a padlock on the network card and | |
| motherboard in an attempt to "secure the system." | |
| <br> | |
| <br> | |
| "Free Kervin!" shouts the predominantly male | |
| group gathered in front of the junior high school. They | |
| are an intimidating eight people, unfazed as the other | |
| children toss milk boxes in their faces. One hacker | |
| speaks with a megaphone: "Currently the NYC public | |
| school system has kept Kervin in Mrs. Marken's desk | |
| drawer without bail, without a trial, and has | |
| consistently violated its constitutional rights! This | |
| case affects all of us, and our rights as citizens!" | |
| claims hacker ringleader Emmaculate Goldspleen. | |
| Goldspleen runs a popular hacker 'zine, whose young | |
| kiddie-haxor market also serves as a pool for models for | |
| his photography hobby. Goldspleen declined to | |
| comment on this subject other than this statement: | |
| "Little boys are very beautiful to me and my friend Mr. | |
| Pokey." | |
| <br><br> | |
| Kervin is a modern-day political prisoner who | |
| has been put away for something people don't | |
| understand." Rumors indicate that this refers to the | |
| fact that 'Kervin' is involved in Emmaculate's bizarre | |
| masturbation routine. | |
| <br><br> | |
| Goldspleen stood determined. "We must fight for | |
| the freedom of Kervin, or all hackers everywhere are in | |
| danger. Please send me 45.95 and a baby picture of | |
| yourself, and I will send you my magazine so you too | |
| can be a k-r4d hax0r!" | |
| </tt> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </BODY> | |
| </HTML> |