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<TITLE>Self Induced Negativity</TITLE>
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    <td><h2><tt>Southern Baptists Adopt New Policy of Tolerance</tt></h2></td>
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CREIGHTON, MISSISSIPPI- In a startling change of doctrine, Reverend John D. Nixon
of Creighton Southern Baptist Church announched a new policy of tolerance toward
disadvantaged children.  "We have come to beee-lieve," Reverend Nixon bellowed, "that,
according to the bible, God does not hate ree-tards. At least not retarded children."
<br>
<br>            This controversial change occured when a member of the Crieghton congregation
gave birth to a down-syndrome child, Isaac Lucius. Mrs. Lucius, eyes tearing with joy,
tells her story. "I know Jesus wouldn't reject my baby-boy after I sold my precious
mobile home and donated the money to God. Now I have to sell my body to make ends
meet, but the Reverend says that because my body is a temple, Jesus has no objections
to a negro crack-dealer penetrating my anus. As long as I donate the earnings to
the Creighton congregation, of course."  Mrs Lucius is also proud that her son is
now allowed to handle poisonous snakes as a test of his faith, knowing that Jesus
would protect him from being bitten. "My other two sons, Matthew and Luke, died
of venom wounds at the devil-tempting ages of two and four. They had to have been
evil little boys, but I know Jesus, our Savior, loves this one."
<br>
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        Reverend Nixon admits he was at first skeptical of admitting little Isaac.
"At first, I naturally thought he was an abomination from Satan! But then God came
to me, in a vision, and said to me, 'He who shalt donate his heart, soul, and all
of his paycheck to me, is my disciple.' I then knew that Isaac was His chosen
one."  Reverend Nixon has also just purchased a $500,000 home for his family.

<br><br>Reverend Nixon assures that nothing else in the Southern Baptist dogma
has changed. "God still hates black people, AIDS victims, democrats, and homosexuals;
and commands us, as his children, to burn their homes and rape their families. Those
goddamn devil-worshipping atheists are still going to hell, too."  When told that
atheists do not believe in the devil either, the reverend replied, "I've got a right
to be ignorant. I'm a god-fearing American, you cocky jap-loving bastard!"

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	<HTML>
	<HEAD>
	<TITLE>Self Induced Negativity</TITLE>
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	<table cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2">
	<tr>
	<td><center><img src="godboy.jpg" width=175 height=300 alt="" border="0"></center></td>
	<td><h2><tt>Southern Baptists Adopt New Policy of Tolerance</tt></h2></td>
	</tr>
	</table>

	<br>
	<br>
	<tt>
	CREIGHTON, MISSISSIPPI- In a startling change of doctrine, Reverend John D. Nixon
	of Creighton Southern Baptist Church announched a new policy of tolerance toward
	disadvantaged children. "We have come to beee-lieve," Reverend Nixon bellowed, "that,
	according to the bible, God does not hate ree-tards. At least not retarded children."
	<br>
	<br> This controversial change occured when a member of the Crieghton congregation
	gave birth to a down-syndrome child, Isaac Lucius. Mrs. Lucius, eyes tearing with joy,
	tells her story. "I know Jesus wouldn't reject my baby-boy after I sold my precious
	mobile home and donated the money to God. Now I have to sell my body to make ends
	meet, but the Reverend says that because my body is a temple, Jesus has no objections
	to a negro crack-dealer penetrating my anus. As long as I donate the earnings to
	the Creighton congregation, of course." Mrs Lucius is also proud that her son is
	now allowed to handle poisonous snakes as a test of his faith, knowing that Jesus
	would protect him from being bitten. "My other two sons, Matthew and Luke, died
	of venom wounds at the devil-tempting ages of two and four. They had to have been
	evil little boys, but I know Jesus, our Savior, loves this one."
	<br>
	<br>
	Reverend Nixon admits he was at first skeptical of admitting little Isaac.
	"At first, I naturally thought he was an abomination from Satan! But then God came
	to me, in a vision, and said to me, 'He who shalt donate his heart, soul, and all
	of his paycheck to me, is my disciple.' I then knew that Isaac was His chosen
	one." Reverend Nixon has also just purchased a $500,000 home for his family.

	<br><br>Reverend Nixon assures that nothing else in the Southern Baptist dogma
	has changed. "God still hates black people, AIDS victims, democrats, and homosexuals;
	and commands us, as his children, to burn their homes and rape their families. Those
	goddamn devil-worshipping atheists are still going to hell, too." When told that
	atheists do not believe in the devil either, the reverend replied, "I've got a right
	to be ignorant. I'm a god-fearing American, you cocky jap-loving bastard!"

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