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| <b>Real Operating Systems</b><br> | |
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| <a href="http://www.slackware.com/">Slackware Linux</a><br> | |
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| <a href="http://www.palm.com/">Palm Computing</a> | |
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| <td colspan=5 valign=top> | |
| <pre> | |
| <font size=5>Windows98 C++ Source</font> | |
| <font size=1> | |
| /* | |
| TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code | |
| Project: Memphis(tm) | |
| Projected release-date: Summer 1998 | |
| Original version date : Aug 1994 | |
| */ | |
| #include "win31.h" | |
| #include "win95.h" | |
| #include "evenmore.h" | |
| #include "oldstuff.h" | |
| #include "billrulz.h" | |
| #define INSTALL = HARD | |
| char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; | |
| void main() | |
| { | |
| while(!CRASHED) | |
| { | |
| display_copyright_message(); | |
| display_bill_rules_message(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| if (first_time_installation) | |
| { | |
| make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); | |
| search_and_desTRoy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); | |
| hang_system(); | |
| } | |
| write_something(anything); | |
| display_copyright_message(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| do_some_stuff(); | |
| if (still_not_crashed) | |
| { | |
| display_copyright_message(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| basically_run_windows_3.1(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| do_nothing_loop(); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| if (detect_cache()) | |
| disable_cache(); | |
| if (fast_cpu()) | |
| { | |
| set_wait_states(lots); | |
| set_mouse(speed, very_slow); | |
| set_mouse(action, jumpy); | |
| set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); | |
| } | |
| /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ | |
| /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ | |
| printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); | |
| if (system_ok()) | |
| crash(to_dos_prompt); | |
| else | |
| system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); | |
| while(something) | |
| { | |
| sleep(5); | |
| get_user_input(); | |
| sleep(5); | |
| act_on_user_input(); | |
| sleep(5); | |
| } | |
| create_general_protection_fault(); | |
| } | |
| </font> | |
| </pre> | |
| <hr noshade size=1> | |
| <font size=1> | |
| <center>All content Copyright ©2000 <a href="mailto:paul@fuckmicrosoft.net">Paul Timmins</a>, <a | |
| href="mailto:adam@fuckmicrosoft.net">ZeR0LogiKz</a> | |
| . All | |
| Rights | |
| Reserved</center> | |
| <center>Microsoft, the Microsoft Logo, and Windows are registered trademarks of the Microsoft | |
| Corporation</center> | |
| <center>All other trademarks are property of their respective owners.</center> | |
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