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| <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2//EN"> | |
| <HTML> | |
| <HEAD> | |
| <TITLE>Jokes.com - Jokes Humor and Fun</TITLE> | |
| <meta name="description" content="Welcome to Jokes.com, the premiere FREE joke | |
| and humor related site on the internet. Search our enourmous jokes database, | |
| see Hondo's Headline News which is updated with new stories everyday!"> | |
| <meta name="keywords" content="jokes,weird news,humor,cartoons,jokemail,fun,fun | |
| ny,comics"> | |
| </HEAD> | |
| <BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFDFD"> | |
| <!-- | |
| blonde jokes, political jokes,dirty jokes,jokes,joke,humor,your mama jokes,comi | |
| cs | |
| --> | |
| <TABLE border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 width=600> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD valign=bottom><A HREF="/home.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images | |
| /interfaces/default/jokes.logo.white.gif" WIDTH="466" HEIGHT="87" BORDER="0"></ | |
| A></TD> | |
| <TD align=center> | |
| <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" height=87 width=130> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD align=center valign=bottom> | |
| <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> | |
| <!-- | |
| function getCookie(name){ | |
| var cname = name + '='; | |
| var dc = document.cookie; | |
| if (dc.length > 0) { | |
| begin = dc.indexOf(cname); | |
| if (begin != -1) { | |
| begin += cname.length; | |
| end = dc.indexOf(';', begin); | |
| if (end == -1) end = dc.length; | |
| return unescape(dc.substring(begin, end)); | |
| } | |
| } | |
| return null; | |
| } | |
| if (getCookie('user_id') == null) | |
| { | |
| document.write('<FORM ACTION="/login.taf?_function=login" METHOD=POST>'); | |
| document.write('<input type=text name=user_id value="USER ID" size=10 maxlength | |
| =15><br>'); | |
| document.write('<input type=password name=PASSWORD value="PASSWORD" size=10 max | |
| length=10><br>'); | |
| document.write('<input type=submit value="Login">'); | |
| document.write('</FORM>'); | |
| } | |
| else | |
| { | |
| funny = "I once had an uncle named " + getCookie('user_id') + ".#There once was | |
| a monkey named " + getCookie('user_id') + ".#" + getCookie('user_id') + ", 48t | |
| h President of the United States.#" + getCookie('user_id') + ", " + getCookie(' | |
| user_id') + ", " + getCookie('user_id') + ", weeeee!#" + getCookie('user_id') + | |
| ", my soulmate.#I love you " + getCookie('user_id') + ".#" + getCookie('user_i | |
| d') + ", you're a jerk.#" + getCookie('user_id') + ", don't look at me!#I am " | |
| + getCookie('user_id') + ", take me to your leader!#" + getCookie('user_id') + | |
| "! Where's my ham!#Knock knock. Who's there? " + getCookie('user_id') + ".#" | |
| + getCookie('user_id') + ", have you ever purgured yourself?#Hi. My name is " | |
| + getCookie('user_id') + ".#Have you seen this person? " + getCookie('user_id') | |
| + ", nut at large.#My name is Frank, but you can call me " + getCookie('user_i | |
| d') + "."; | |
| sfunny = funny.split('#'); | |
| ran = Math.round(Math.random()*100) % sfunny.length ; | |
| document.write('<FONT size=1>' + sfunny[ran] + '</FONT>'); | |
| document.write('<A HREF="/edit_account.taf"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/i | |
| mages/interfaces/default/edit.profile.gif" BORDER="0" alt="edit your profile" w | |
| idth=132 height=30></A>'); | |
| } | |
| //--> | |
| </SCRIPT> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> | |
| <!-- | |
| random_ad = Math.round(Math.random()*100) % 100000 + 1 ; | |
| document.write('<IFRAME SRC="http://connect.247media.ads.link4ads.com/serv/1/jo | |
| kes_com/jokes_comros/jokes_comros/19279;type=t;uniq='+ random_ad + '" WIDTH=468 | |
| HEIGHT=60 MARGINWIDTH=0 MARGINHEIGHT=0 FRAMEBORDER=0 SCROLLING=no><a href="htt | |
| p://connect.247media.ads.link4ads.com/click/1/jokes_com/jokes_comros/jokes_comr | |
| os/19279;uniq='+ random_ad + '" target="_top"><img src="http://connect.247media | |
| .ads.link4ads.com/serv/1/jokes_com/jokes_comros/jokes_comros/19279;uniq='+ rand | |
| om_ad + '" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="60" WIDTH="468"><\/a><\/IFRAME>'); | |
| //--> | |
| </SCRIPT></TD> | |
| <TD> | |
| <!--<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> | |
| document.write('<A HREF=http://adserver.structure.net/click.ng/site=jokes&jokea | |
| dtype=1&transid='+ random_ad +'><IMG SRC=http://adserver.structure.net/image.ng | |
| /site=jokes&jokeadtype=1&transid='+ random_ad +' HSPACE=0 VSPACE=0 BORDER=0 HEI | |
| GHT=60 WIDTH=132></A>'); | |
| //</SCRIPT>--> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| <BR> | |
| <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" width=600 BGCOLOR=white> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD width=150 valign=top> | |
| <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0"> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/joke_du_jour.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/imag | |
| es/front/def.but.jokedujour.gif" ALT="See the Joke Du Jour - A new joke every d | |
| ay" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="72" BORDER="0"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD COLSPAN="3" ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=MIDDLE><IMG SRC="http://ima | |
| ges.jokes.com/images/front/def.ad.top.gif" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="15" HSPACE="0" V | |
| SPACE="0"></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=MIDDLE><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.co | |
| m/images/front/def.ad.left.gif" WIDTH="6" HEIGHT="90" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></T | |
| D> | |
| <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=MIDDLE><IFRAME WIDTH=120 HEIGHT=90 MARG | |
| INWIDTH=0 MARGINHEIGHT=0 HSPACE=0 VSPACE=0 FRAMEBORDER=0 SCROLLING=no BORDERCOL | |
| OR="#000000" SRC="http://adserver.structure.net/html.ng/site=jokes&jokeadtype=4 | |
| "> | |
| <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript1.1" SRC="http://adserver.structure.net/js.ng/Param | |
| s.richmedia=yes&site=jokes&jokeadtype=4"></SCRIPT></IFRAME><NOSCRIPT><A HREF="h | |
| ttp://adserver.structure.net/click.ng/site=jokes&jokeadtype=4"><IMG SRC="http:/ | |
| /adserver.structure.net/image.ng/site=jokes&jokeadtype=4"></A></NOSCRIPT></TD> | |
| <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=MIDDLE><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.co | |
| m/images/front/def.ad.right.gif" WIDTH="7" HEIGHT="90" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></ | |
| TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD COLSPAN="3" ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=MIDDLE><IMG SRC="http://ima | |
| ges.jokes.com/images/front/def.ad.bottom.120x90.gif" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="20" HS | |
| PACE="0" VSPACE="0"></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/freedrive.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/front/de | |
| f.but.freedrive.gif" ALT="Jokes - Free Drive" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="35" BORDER="0 | |
| "></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/hnn/hnn_list.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/imag | |
| es/front/def.but.hnn.gif" WIDTH=133 HEIGHT=35 BORDER="0" alt="Read Hondo Headli | |
| ne News"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/make_simian.taf"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/front/d | |
| ef.but.simian.gif" ALT="Jokes - Simian Greetings" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="35" BORDE | |
| R="0"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/addaccount.taf"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/front/de | |
| f.but.create.gif" ALT="Jokes - Create Account" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="35" BORDER=" | |
| 0"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/goo/1goo.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/front/def | |
| .but.googallery.gif" ALT="Jokes - Goo Gallery" WIDTH="133" HEIGHT="35" BORDER=" | |
| 0"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </TD> | |
| <TD width=450 valign=top> | |
| <TABLE border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 BGCOLOR=white> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><A HREF="/hnn/hnn_list.html"><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/imag | |
| es/front/jokes.hnn.frontheader1.gif" WIDTH=300 HEIGHT=40 BORDER="0" alt="Read H | |
| ondo Headline News Updated Everyday"></A></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR><TD><FONT size=2><A HREF=/hnn/11_10_2000.reodd-story-bcoddredarmydc.html>Sm | |
| oking Style Gives Fugitive Away</A> - 11-10-00 08:04 EST</FONT></TD></TR> | |
| <TR><TD><FONT size=2><A HREF=/hnn/11_10_2000.reodd-story-bcoddrefugeedc.html>Ma | |
| n Survives Flight Holding Onto Landing Gear</A> - 11-10-00 08:04 EST</FONT></TD | |
| ></TR> | |
| <TR><TD><FONT size=2><A HREF=/hnn/11_10_2000.reodd-story-bcodddictionarydc.html | |
| >New Dictionary to Demystify English Phrase, Fable</A> - 11-10-00 08:04 EST</FO | |
| NT></TD></TR> | |
| <TR><TD><FONT size=2><A HREF=/hnn/11_10_2000.reodd-story-bcoddcashdc.html>Milli | |
| ons of Dollars Found Under Floor</A> - 11-10-00 08:04 EST</FONT></TD></TR> | |
| <TR><TD><FONT size=2><A HREF=/hnn/11_10_2000.reodd-story-bcoddeyesdc.html>Twent | |
| y Blind Cricket Fans to Get 20 Corneas</A> - 11-10-00 08:04 EST</FONT></TD></TR | |
| > | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><BR><FONT SIZE="2"><A HREF="/hnn/hnn_list.html">More Hondo Headline | |
| s</A></FONT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </form> | |
| <TABLE border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 BGCOLOR=white> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><BR><BR> | |
| <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> | |
| <!-- | |
| if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Windows') != -1) | |
| { | |
| document.write('<FONT size=2>'); | |
| } | |
| //--> | |
| </SCRIPT> | |
| <B>Welcome to Jokes.com<SUP>TM</SUP></B>, the premiere FREE joke and humor rela | |
| ted site on the internet. Search our enormous jokes database and see <A HREF=" | |
| /hnn/hnn_list.html">Hondo's Headline News<SUP>TM</SUP></A> which is updated wit | |
| h new stories everyday! When you <A HREF="/addaccount.taf">create</A> a FREE a | |
| ccount with us, you can get even more cool services like a FREE web based <A HR | |
| EF="/mail.taf">email account</A>, FREE <A HREF="/freedrive.html">hard drive</A> | |
| space, FREE JokeMail<SUP>TM</SUP> sent to you every day, the ability to e-mail | |
| cool jokes and <A HREF="/make_simian.taf">Simian Greeting Cards<SUP>TM</SUP></ | |
| A> to your friends and <A HREF="/rating_explanation.html">set filters</A> that | |
| prevent you from seeing unwanted content in the joke database. Explore and lea | |
| rn why Jokes.com<SUP>TM</SUP> is one of the most popular sites on the Internet. | |
| </FONT> | |
| <BR><BR> | |
| <!-- admin remove me --> | |
| <!-- rm -rf home.html;mv home.bak home.html --> | |
| <!-- fix----^ --> | |
| <P> | |
| <br> | |
| <br> | |
| <br>Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real. | |
| <br>-Tupac Shakur | |
| <br> | |
| <P> | |
| <br> | |
| <br>as you can see anything is possible. | |
| <br>you put your mind to something you can accomplish just about anything. | |
| <P> | |
| <br>i hope we feel like this, forever. forever, forever ever, forever ever? | |
| <br>forever never seems that long until you're grown. | |
| <P> | |
| <br>greets: oreo, lyp0x, m0zy, drnuker, PHC, dexx, max0r, k0ldkutta, | |
| <br>#flem, FL3M, DA^BOMB, bonafide, burny[d], juso, iky, xessor, xessor again, | |
| <br>this dude named xessor, me, me again, and xessor | |
| <br> | |
| <P> | |
| <br>questions? comments? --> <a href="mailto:xess@888.nu">xessor</a> | |
| <!-- end remove --> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </TD> | |
| <TD width=150 valign=top align=center> | |
| <!--- Begin Joke Database Search ---> | |
| <CENTER> | |
| <A href="http://www.colleges.com/shopping/"><img src="/images/posterad.gif" bor | |
| der=0></A><BR> | |
| <FORM method=post action="/navigate.taf" name=jump> | |
| <select name=page ONCHANGE="location.href=this.form.page.options[this.form.page | |
| .selectedIndex].value"> | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/home.html">Jump To: | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/mail.taf">Check Email | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/addaccount.taf">Make Account | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/joke_du_jour.html">Joke du Jour | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/hnn/hnn_list.html">HNN | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/edit_account.taf">Edit Profile | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/make_simian.taf">E - Cards | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/goo/1goo.html">Goo Gallery | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/joke_submission.taf">Submit a Joke | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/jokes_chat.taf">Chat | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/logout.taf">Logout | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/email_list.taf">Edit Email List | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/rating_explanation.html">Ratings | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/help.html">Help | |
| <OPTION VALUE="/feedback.taf">Feedback | |
| </SELECT><NOSCRIPT><input type=submit value=Go></NOSCRIPT> | |
| </FORM></CENTER> | |
| <FORM METHOD="POST" ACTION="/joke_search.taf"> | |
| <TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=1 CELLSPACING=0 BGCOLOR="#660099"> | |
| <TR VALIGN=TOP ALIGN=LEFT BGCOLOR="#660099"><TD> | |
| <INPUT type=image SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/interfaces/default/jokes. | |
| search.gif" WIDTH="140" HEIGHT="151" BORDER="0" hspace=1 alt=Search> | |
| </TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><select name="cat"> | |
| <option value="B">Blonde | |
| <option value="C">Business | |
| <option value="D">Computer | |
| <option value="E">Dirty | |
| <option value="F">Education | |
| <option value="G">Entertainment | |
| <option value="H">Gender | |
| <option value="I">Insults | |
| <option value="J">Lawyer | |
| <option value="M">Miscellaneous | |
| <option value="K">Relationship | |
| <option value="L">News | |
| <option value="N">Political | |
| <option value="O">Redneck | |
| <option value="P">SciFi | |
| <option value="Q">YourMama</select></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR> | |
| <TD><SELECT NAME="type" SIZE=1> | |
| <OPTION VALUE="" >Select Type | |
| <OPTION VALUE="A" >One Liner | |
| <OPTION VALUE="B">Story | |
| <OPTION VALUE="C">Top 10/Lists</SELECT></TD> | |
| </TR> | |
| <TR><TD VALIGN=TOP ALIGN=LEFT BGCOLOR="#660099"><BR> | |
| <INPUT TYPE=SUBMIT VALUE="Search"> <INPUT TYPE=RESET VALUE="Clear"></TD></TR> | |
| </TABLE> | |
| </FORM> | |
| <!--- End Joke Database Search ---> | |
| </TD></TR></TABLE> | |
| </TD></TR></TABLE> | |
| </FORM> | |
| <BR><BR> | |
| <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" width=600> | |
| <TR><TD colspan=3 align=center><IFRAME WIDTH=468 HEIGHT=60 MARGINWIDTH=0 MARGIN | |
| HEIGHT=0 HSPACE=0 VSPACE=0 FRAMEBORDER=0 SCROLLING=no BORDERCOLOR="#000000" SRC | |
| ="http://adserver.structure.net/html.ng/site=jokes&pagepos=2"> | |
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| s.richmedia=yes&site=jokes&pagepos=2"></SCRIPT></IFRAME><NOSCRIPT><A HREF="http | |
| ://adserver.structure.net/click.ng/site=jokes&pagepos=2"><IMG SRC="http://adser | |
| ver.structure.net/image.ng/site=jokes&pagepos=2"></A></NOSCRIPT></TD></TR> | |
| <TR> <TD><IMG SRC="http://images.jokes.com/images/interfaces/default/def.foo | |
| ter.gif" WIDTH="103" HEIGHT="80" BORDER="0"></TD> | |
| <TD align=center width=500><FONT SIZE="2"><A HREF="http://www.j | |
| okes.com">Home</A> | <A HREF="/addaccount.taf">Create Account</A> | <A HREF="/j | |
| oke_du_jour.html">Joke du Jour</A> | <A HREF="/hnn/hnn_list.html">Hondo's Headl | |
| ines</A><BR><BR> | |
| <A HREF="/edit_account.taf">Edit Your Profile</A> | <A HREF="/make_simian.taf"> | |
| Simian Greetings E-Cards</A> | <A HREF="/goo/1goo.html">Goo Gallery</A> | <A HR | |
| EF="/joke_submission.taf">Submit a Joke</A> <BR><BR> | |
| <A HREF="/jokes_chat.taf">Chat</A> | <A HREF="/logout.taf">Logout</A> | <A HREF | |
| ="/email_list.taf">Edit Email List</A> | <A HREF="/rating_explanation.html">Rat | |
| ings Explanation</A> | <A HREF="/help.html">Help</A> | <A HREF="/feedback.taf"> | |
| Feedback</A></FONT> | |
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| </HTML> | |
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