Skip to content

CSB Chapter 2

Antonizoon edited this page Feb 19, 2014 · 4 revisions

Chapter 2: The Smash and Grab

1230728 (OP)

I went to bed and went out like a light and woke up the next day around noon. As I tiptoed into my living room, I saw her sprawled out over the sofas hugging the sleeping bag, like a sad japanese man hugging a body pillow.

"That's... nostalgic." I thought to myself.

Closing the door again and heading into the shower, I pressed my hands against the tiles. As the water poured over me, thinking about what happened last night...

Today was going to be a long day and over half of the daylight had already been spent sleeping. I winced at the thought of not calling in sick for work in time and mentally prepared for my boss to chew my ass off. But [telling him] "I was up all night" wouldn't exactly be a lie, even if the rest of it would be.

Jumping out of the shower, I brushed my teeth and took a new one out of the bathroom drawer. "If I was a petty man I'd make her pay for that too...", I thought to myself before shaking it off and wrapping a towel around myself.

"Welp, I hope I still have those body pads somewhere... if tonight goes how I think it will I'd like to come away with as few bruises as possible... Then again, any man who knocks women around probably won't have the balls to take on a man my size... but still."

As I was getting dressed I found them, body pads I used in contact sports for practice at some gyms back when I was a gym rat. I went for a few classes, didn't learn anything and stuck to the irons instead.

I felt a little remorseful over my giving up so soon. If tonight goes how I think it will, those skills probably would have come in handy... Still, no point complaining about that now.

1230731 (OP)

I put them on and felt a little silly about it, so I put on some baggy cargos and a black tank top under my t-shirt, then put a shirt over that left open... I got the urge to take them off as I felt like a wuss, but managed to convince myself to keep them on, even if it just prevented him from knocking the wind out of me or taking my down by booting the back of my leg, the extra little bit of resistance would probably be worth it... I slipped my trainers on, dried my hair with the hairdryer and went into the kitchen to make some coffee, as I did so a small figure appeared from the livingroom door, peering around the kitchen threshold.

"Morning," I said without turning around. "Go and grab a shower, I've left a towel and some more clothes for you in there, we'll worry about getting yours back later."

1230845 (OP)

She shuffled into the bathroom as I went into the livingroom and put the sofas back and folded up her bedding, then I sat and thought about how we'd go about getting her things...

I had cardboard boxes in the back of my wardrobe and a collapse-able carry crate under my bed, more than enough for her to put clothes and things into. I can't imagine her wanting much more than clothes, documents and other essentials.

When she came in I asked her what she would want to get out of there. As she sat down she quietly said "um... not a lot, you could probably fit it all into a box..."

"Would it fit in the back of my car?"

She looked taken back for a second, then went on to say "You drive?"

"Yeah, the blue Vauxhall Astra, it's right outside the flats, think it will fit?" She nodded as she sat and sipped, then for the next few hours we talked about how it would go down.

She was confident that with me there he wouldn't try anything and she knew exactly what she wanted to take, all she would need to do is go up the bedroom and into the kitchen to get her things, so keeping him in the livingroom would be the best way to deal with it all...

Around 5pm we were ready to go and we got in the car, as we approached the place she shook nervously, her eyes fixed out of the car window watching the street lights.

As the sat nav told me to turn on to her street she began fidgeting and breathing heavily, and just for a moment she looked at me with desperation in her eyes, like she wanted to just get the fuck out of there.

But I was determined to start sorting out this mess and I was determined not to let her go back on her word or go back to this place... Just picturing the bruises all over her made me WANT to smash his face in, I used that feeling as my resolve as we pulled up outside the place...

1230903 (OP)

And what a fucking dump it was... quiet as the street appeared to be, there was that lingering feeling of being in a shitty neighborhood, which I thought I'd left behind when I moved out of the flat we shared 7 years ago.

It was a daunting feeling to say the least, but, popping a cigarette out of my carton in the center console and taking my shirt off to prevent it working against me in a struggle, I opened the car door and lit my cigarette.

"NO!" she screamed, as I went to get out of the car "Please! Can't we just go back to yours? I'll get new clothes and everything! I don't need any of it!"

Shifting myself into my battle mode mindset, I looked at her and said "We're doing this. Get out of the car."

And with that I grabbed the boxes from the boot and stared into the passenger side window from the pavement, waiting for her to get out.

When we did I asked her which door she was and she nervously and quietly said "3b". As soon as she said it I took a deep breath, flicked my cigarette and began walking towards the door.

As we entered the building she stayed very close to my back and as we walked up the stairs I could hear her forcing every step as if she was carrying a 2 ton car on her shoulders.

As I approached the door she clung to my back and I could feel her shaking, which only added to my resolve to get this done and go home.

As I knocked I heard her wimper, and she jerked violently at every little sound, as if she was expecting to get hit as soon as he opened the door.

1230982 (OP)

As the door opened a 5'7 fat man who looked rough as fuck stared back at me, then he looked around me to see her shaking behind me.

"Wots this about?" he said, I could feel the "oh shit" feeling in his words as he looked me up and down, trying to act tough.

I stared at him for a moment, then said "I think you know what this is about mate. Step aside and let her get her things and there won't be any trouble." He took a step back into the flat and grabbed the door, he tried to slam it in my face, but I jammed my foot in the threshold and used my arm to stop him from closing and locking the door.

"FUCK OFF OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" Struggling against his weight, I managed to shift my arm onto the side of the door, then I shoved myself against it with all my weight, forcing him backwards and the door wide open.

I wasted no time in marching up to him and shoving him into the front room. Then I called back "NOW! GET IN AND GET YOUR THINGS! HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"

He tried to shove me out of the way of the door but despite his weight his flabby weak arms prevented him from making me budge, he gritted his teeth at me and made a fist.

As it came towards me I knocked his arm to one side, grabbed him by his shoulders and shoved him as hard as I could sending him stumbling backwards onto the sofa behind him



1231087 (OP)

He picked himself up off the sofa and came careering towards me again. I shifted myself forwards to catch him but the sheer weight of him forced me up against the door, and he tried wrapping himself around me and using his weight to shift me sideways.

Completely enraged, I grabbed him by the back of his head and drew my head back before landing the biggest glasgow kiss in the history of glasgow kisses, so impressive that even Billy Connolly would blush at the sight of it. And with that, he staggered backwards, holding his nose which soon began to pour of blood.

He went to get up off the sofa again, but this time I lunged forwards "TRY IT YOU CUNT, I FUCKING DARE YA!" He hesitated and faltered, staying put holding his nose, to my amazement he started to cry which was fucking ugly sight.

I jeered at him, "Fat cunt..." I muttered under my breath, leaning with my back against the door. "Look at you... fucking pathetic, not so easy when you're dealing with a man and not a weak terrified little girl is it mate..."

He went to get up again and again I lunged forward ready to counter him, he sat back on the chair and muttered "I'm calling the police when you leave... you're gonna get done."

I smiled and leered at him "Yeah, and so will you, I doubt she'll hesitate to prosecute you this time, knowing that if you touch her again I'll be there."

He muttered again "Not if you're in the nick, you can't protect her forever."

This sent my blood boiling and I marched over to him, grabbing his shoulders and forcing his back to the sofa.

1231154 (OP)

Getting right in his face and looking right into his eyes, his arms flailed as my face grew closer. His fingers left prints of his nose blood on his arms and a bit on my face.

My teeth were in full display. Unable to compose myself, I seethed at him "You so much as text that girl again and I'll be back, and I don't care if I go to prison... I WILL FUCKING. BURY. YOU..."

I shoved my arms to push myself away from the sofa and took my place standing against the door again, staring at him, until finally she said

"I-I've got everything... can we go?"

"Yeah..." I said as I turned to the door. "Head down to the car and get in, I'll be down in a minute, if there's more than one box leave it by the door and I'll carry it down. I heard her shuffle out of the flat, and I stood and stared at him, counting in my head, watching for any movement other than staggered breathing and him wiping the blood off of his face.

1231244 (OP)

When 60 seconds were up in my head, I took a deep breath and turned towards the door. As I opened it he went to get up, and I span round on the attack.

"STAY DOWN!" I shouted, he hesitated and sat back down. His face twisted at me.

"... I know you're not stupid enough to follow me out mate... stay there and wait until the front door closes." I watched him for a moment, making sure he understood.

Then I then walked out of the door, picking up a box just outside of the entrance to the flat filled with clothes, shoes, books and an assortment of CDs and DVDs...

As I started down the stairwell I heard the door slam loudly, I stopped and looked up making sure he wasn't stupid enough to follow me out and try and get the drop on me on the stairs.

Then I continued down and out to the car, I put the box in the boot and made my way round to the drivers side before jumping in and starting the car, opening the window and lighting a cigarette, I looked over at her and she was wide eyed looking back


>inb4 surprise gun attack



>surprise gun attack
>by a (probably) poor fat fuck in the midlands


Ain't no ghetto without guns

1231382 (OP)

"Blood..." She wimphered, staring at my shirt, then my face.

"Yeah..." I said. Then I took the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say,

"Don't worry, it's not mine."

I smiled as I thought back on that part in Die Hard, (pretty sure it was Die Hard 3). Heh.

then I shifted the car into gear and began to drive off... she was as quiet as a mouse all the way back.



> "Don't worry, it's not mine"
That Die Hard line, first time I ever heard the sentence was years back in that movie, I found an incredibly weird thing to say, but now that I've heard it a few times around it makes sense I suppose.


You're a better man than me OP. If my ex ever showed up at my place unannounced I would leave her to die in the streets.


>20 boners

1231490 (OP)

We got out and carried the boxes up to my flat, his flat was the other side of the city so it took a while to get back. It was so quiet in that car on the way back, I hardly noticed that she had been crying, but her cheeks were red and puffy which was a clear indication. That silence continued as we went in and set the boxes down in the livingroom.

"There." I said. "Thats the hard part over, now we just need to sort your life out..." She stood staring at me as tears began trickling down her face again.

She started stumbling towards me, as she welled up and as she fell onto my chest she began bawling loudly, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist, I stood in complete silence.

I went to put my hands on her shoulders or embrace her, but I couldn't bring myself to do so... After all, I couldn't even stand saying her name, never mind comforting her... But I wasn't pushing her away either so I wasn't completely heartless.

She stood sobbing into my chest for what felt like ages, "... I guess she sees this is the end of her nightmare."

"Natural for her to get it all out...", I thought to myself. She looked up at me, I snorted "Hmph," stared back at her, then said,

"You hungry? I don't know about you but a shower and some food sound pretty good about now. I don't think I can answer my door to the curry man with blood on me after all."

She smiled and loosened her grip.

"Blood on your forehead." I said, pointing to it. "You probably want to wipe that off, there's a small chance he might be retarded enough to call the police. You don't want to look like an accomplice to assault. And dry off your eyes as well..."

She looked up at me and smiled weakly, before turning and walking into the bathroom. I followed and turned [toward] my bedroom to pick out some shorts and a clean t-shirt, then called the curry house while she cleaned herself up in the bathroom.

1231561 (OP)

I undressed in my bedroom, taking my t-shirt off, then my tank top and finally the pads. I laughed to myself. "Some good these fucking things were, what the hell was I thinking?" I took them off and whimsically skimmed them under my bed, then took my shoes and cargos off and did the same for the thigh and shin pads.

"You out of the bathroom yet?" I called out.

I heard a "Yes" from the livingroom. As I walked into the bathroom I said:

"If the curry man comes while I'm in here my wallet is on my desk in my bedroom. It should come to around 20 quid".


I jumped in the shower making sure to scrub my face well to get the pig blood off of me.

The curry man came as I was in there, and I heard her pay and take the bag into the kitchen. When I came out she had already prepared the meal and was sitting down in the livingroom with the plates on the coffee table waiting for me.

"Still need to dry my hair," I said as I peered into the room. "It's fine, you can start without me." When my hair was dry I took a seat, leaned forward and started eating.

Once the meal was over, I took the plates into the kitchen and washed them up in the sink. I took 2 ice cold beers to the living room, opened one and placed it in her hands before flopping down onto the sofa...

Silence filled the room as we watched the news on TV, I smiled to myself fantasizing about me appearing on there:

"Super badass crushes fat guys nose, ends string of domestic abuse, police now charging him with assault and battery, more on this at 10!"

1231617 (OP)

I looked over at her, she seemed to be deep in thought for a while before catching me staring.

I huffed, gave a smirk and said "It's getting late... Go ahead and take a shower, at least now you can wear your own pyjamas right?" She smiled before getting up to go for her shower.

Taking the opportunity that had presented itself, I stretched out on the sofa letting my legs dangle from the side. Normally I'd sit on the sofa opposite but the small coffee table had forced me to sit next to her.

I finished my beer and closed my eyes relaxing after a "job well done" and let out a big, loud roar as I yawned. I heard the water starting to run in the shower, then I drifted off for a while.


cool story so far, all i wanted to say is this..

stop with the damn showers.

>do X thing
>now go take a shower
>do Y thing
>now go take a shower

Wasting all that water bro, you're already clean

1233908 (OP)


lol I shower twice a day, 3 times if I've been doing something sweaty like sex or beating up fat people, I can't get comfortable unless I'm clean! it's a serious problem sometimes.

Bibliotheca Anonoma

Note: This wiki has moved to a new website. Please update your links.


Check the Workroom for content we're still reviewing.





Website Archives


Clone this wiki locally
You can’t perform that action at this time.