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Laying Low

Tenshi Hinanawi edited this page Apr 19, 2012 · 1 revision

Laying low

So, against your better judgment, you've given in to the urge to upload your CP stash, eh? Attempted to raid a .gov? Finally found that elusive last link to WTS Snacks whereabouts?

If any of the above applies to you, you're probably about to get a good look at the inside of the Partyvan.

OH SHI, BARBARIANS AT THE GATES!

So, shit is hitting the fan; Partyvans have been mobilized, the Chans have blocked your ISP in preparation for the impending raid and every single hair on the underside of your ass is threading itself together into a hymen to guard against the manlove your soon-to-be cellmate Dover, Ben will impart to you.

But fret not, foul and foolish Anonymous, you are not yet doomed. The following is a list of things to do, prioritized;

Number one: Nuke the drive

Any wrongdoing of yours is probably recorded on your drive in either .jpg or .avi, so now it must die. Shift Delete doesn't actually erase any data, it just ignores it. All the data is still in one's and Zero's on the drive itself. The only way to really delete something is to put something else in on the same spot as your previous file was on the physical drive. Ideally, you should use shock paddles to fry your drive but since you probably don't have access to those kind of supplies, rip it out and slam it in the microwave for thirty minutes on High. Also a drill can be used, one hole straight through the disks makes it completely useless. If you have extra time and a little creativity, take the disks from the drive and personally manhandle each one. This also makes them completely unreadable and you can then make cool mobiles from them.

Number two: Run to the hills

Even if the feds don't find anything on your computer, there will probably be other stuff to worry about. If you didn't use a proxy, which is the internet equivalent of going to Africa and fucking every female in sight without a rubber, the feds will have records your IP on some incriminating servers. Luckily for you, nigras are well adapted for running and you should be able to put some distance between you and your "love nest". Remember, they expect you to run to your relatives and friends, so anyone who's mentioned on any official records is out of the question. Instead, the following are good places to head for;

  • Shanty towns: Because there's too many people and not enough of anything else.
  • Hostels: Despite the fact that you MAY be horribly dismembered by rich psychopaths from Slovakia, many Hostels aren't very strict on who's staying overnight. Also Dirt cheap.
  • Storm drains: If you live in a large city that has heavy rain more often than not, you may be able to take refuge in these underground hovels.
  • Mexico: Because anyone here will be too lazy to hand your ass over.

Number three: Staying low

So, now you've found a place to hide from the long, fistraping arm of the law. Question is, what now? Well, the heat should die down in anywhere between two weeks or two months. Keep the fuck away from your credit card and you should be fine. If you run out of cash, keep in mind that Mexico is the number one supplier dubiously acquired kidneys. It's not like you're using the other one, either.

Aftermath

The heat is gone and no one cares anymore. Looks like you can just pick up where you left off, doesn't it? No, not really. Even if you're not being hunted down like the closet furfag you probably are, the feds will still be keeping an eye on your bank accounts and such. The best thing to do in this case is create a new identity for yourself. Stay away from the area you worked in and anyone who may recognize you. Faking your own death is an epic victory, since then all your assets are transfered to your next of kin, who may be willing to channel them back to you, provided you didn't burn that bridge earlier.

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