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Magically Lewd Sleepover : 21 to 27.html

Antonizoon edited this page Dec 18, 2016 · 1 revision

Update #21 : April 28th

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11506193



>My Word!
>Is that an honorable challenge i glean from your lips?
>I accept, if only to prove my chivalrous ways
>I shall endure your proposed hastilude

>Nothing would please me more m'lady
>than joust for my own honor.
>As long as the noble winner is granted a kiss from the princess.
>And a "feast"
>[spoiler]I'm pretty sure i didn't use any of those words[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But it came across just the same.[/spoiler]


>Challenge accepted
>Glasses hops her butt up onto the counter, facing me.
>One rather un-ladylike shimmy later, and her pants and panties are around her ankles.
>No foreplay really, just an all-american naked girl sitting on the counter.
>I realized that i hadn't really been able to inspect her in HD-Blueray quality yet
>The bathroom was light enough to see, but the window was high up and didn't have sun shining directly through it.
>So i turn around and flip the light switch
>Nothing
>Seriously, power is still out?
>I try the switch a couple more times
>Really would love to see this girl's vagina in some decent light
>electricity fairies say no.
>Right well...back to the girl at hand i guess.
>She's got an amused look on her face, i guess watching me angrily flip lightswitches brought across a couple entertaining thoughts of her own.
>It seems to be her intention to get me to schlick her off
>She might want me to lick her, but she just peed
>Like, eww
>No way i'm doing that



>Fingers only option
>Alright i can do this
>I try to imitate some "Moves" i've seen in porn
>It ends up as a clumsy jab, does not go down well
>She grabs my hand and stops me real quick
>Maybe i can't do this
>Male "Good at sex things" ego crushed
>Her hand guides mine to where she wants it
>It's not a passion-filled fingering session in the bathroom like i expected
>She spends the next 10 minutes teaching me all kinds of things
>What all the pieces were, how hard you could pull or squeeze them.
>Where she liked to be touched (She didn't like direct clit play too much, said the feeling was too strong)
>How many fingers felt the best (Two fingers, curved upwards in a claw kind of shape)
>How hard to press upwards (Firmer than i would have thought actually)
>How fast to move them (Medium pace, too fast was a no-no)
>If i should wiggle them or not (Frankly i'd never even thought of wiggling before)
>Have you ever fingered a girl Anons?

>[spoiler]I can bet that many anons have, even if they're still virgins. [/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The sensation is rather simple really, hot, wet, squishy, sometimes sticky, sometimes slimey[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Take your finger, swipe it around the inside of your cheek. That's what the majority of the interior feels like, but there's a couple of places where it feels different depending on the girl.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Various spots may feel like the connection between the base of your mouth and the tongue for example. Slightly different consistency with knobbly or softer bits in between [/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Then there's one area that has a texture very unlike anything in your mouth, it's the "G" spot, which is a fancy thrown around word that most guys don't understand[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]It's simply the place where you can force the nerve that connects to the clit, up against the pelvic bone and apply pressure to it from both sides.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]This area, in my experience has an almost spongy feeling to it, like porous flesh, very difficult to describe, but it's very easy to aim for because of this.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Really thats it, the rest is like having fingers in your mouth, but the textures are the interesting part; YW Lonely Anons[/spoiler]



>I got a perfect lesson in girl parts from the best teacher, a girl.
>You've had this lesson in your life before, or you will have it in the future.
>Gentle words of encouragement, soft hands moving yours ever so slightly back into place...
>Laughter.
>Eventually i got the pace and angle down, i thought i was doing pretty good
>I got to alternate looking at her chest, face and making sure my fingers were still attached and doing the right thing.
>Even with my lack of experience, i'd managed to get a healthy blush across her cheeks
>Her mouth hanging open slightly
>Healthy burn in my arms, rather interesting how i kept forgetting sexy things are always an exercise.
>Wasn't bad though, i was rather enjoying it.
>And the best part is watching her face, the expressions it slides through as you're trying out different things.
>And the sounds she makes
>Little gasps
>An open lipped smile
>The tiniest moans
>Deep breaths
>Short breaths
>A firm grasp of the bottom lip in her teeth
>Little noises you can't quite place into a category
>Eyes roll back towards the ceiling, lips open in a silent "oh!"
>I wasn't an expert, but i had just gently brought her to climax
>Everything kind of changed when that happened
>Her legs clamped together, holding my hand still, then both of them shifted to the left.
>She almost straightened her back and slid off the counter, but i was holding her firm with my other hand.
>Her eyes were dreamy, looking straight through me for just a couple happy moments.


>Then she hopped off the counter
>i was being hugged
>"Thank you"
>Her voice is soft and the littlest bit shaky,
>I'm speechless
>I was fully expecting to thank her first, that was educational as hell
>I don't think most women realize how much psychological enjoyment is involved with men touching them and making them feel good.
>Don't tell them
>It's always nice to have someone be gracious and indebted to you for doing something you enjoy.
>And i had a very thankful girl on my hands
>Those are point i can redeem later for "cool and exciting prizes"(tm)
>Clothes re-assembled
>Hands washed
>Boner still at full steam
>Tent in my shorts could house a circus
>We're ready to exit the bathroom
>But there's a knock at the door
>"Hurry up, i need to pee!"
>It's blondie
>Because the sleepover gods hate me.

>Well there's no way to get out of here alive anymore
>The banging on the door means she's really got to go too
>I'm not even going to be sly and tell her to go across the house
>We can just open the door and deal with it
>Door unlocked
>She's forming a sentence outside
>"Homely's in the other o-
>Door open
>Startled blondie
>Still wearing apron, hand pressed against it
>Between her legs, knees crossed.
>Looks like she has to pee too badly to be surprised or angry or anything
>Still, her eyes dart from me, to glasses, to the tent in my boxers.
>Then she's in the bathroom
>One hand on each of us we're shoved out and the door is slammed behind us
>No words
>I give glasses the look

>The "She's going to hate me" look
>She says she'll handle it and shoves me off towards the living room
>I guess i should trust her
>Boner in pants, it's time to find the other girls


>Well, girl, singular
>Raven was in the kitchen washing dishes when i found her
>She takes one backwards glance at me and then returns to washing, no words are spoken
>She might be temporarily mad at me for staring at blondie's tits
>No way to win this game
>I might as well join her and help
>Silent camaraderie as we scrub dishes in silence
>I try to strike up a conversation, but it seems to get no response, or a simple "Yes" or "No" that doesn't let me tie any kind of dialogue together.
>I try a couple other tactics
>Physical contact is shrugged off, jokes aren't laughed at.
>We run out of dishes
>Homely shows up behind us and starts making demands
>I'm really not listening to them, but glasses and blondie seem to be somewhere back there too and hear them out
>Something to do with Birthday
>Raven is still standing silently with me and staring at the empty sink
>She surprises me by speaking up, "Yeah, i'll do it"
>She's off into the hallway, Homely and glasses in tow.
>I turn around to find blondie piling the leftovers onto a plate for birthday


>She breaks the silence
>"I'm glad she didn't let you"
>What
>I really have no clue what she's talking about
>I just play it off though because it's probably something glasses did
>"Yeah..."
>That's a good response right
>Seems to play over well
>There's banging off in the distance, various angry sounds and the girls return
>She's not coming out
>Homely has to go in like half an hour, she's off to call her brother and make arrangements.
>Fucking finally

>Surprisingly nothing really happens between when she makes that call and she leaves.
>Most the time is spent by everyone staying trying to find all of her related articles of clothing and things she's brought over.
>Loads of laundry are done, articles of clothing retrieved from corners of various rooms.
>I'm not even sad when she covers her chest with a shirt and her legs with pants.
>Goodbyes were said, "IT was fun"s were exchanged.
>Then she was out the door and to the waiting car.
>I don't think she really had to leave so early, but she was doing it out of a rare bout of kindness for birthday.
>Birthday was stubborn
>They weren't friends anymore
>They weren't friends ever again anons.

>I don't know that, not at that time.
>But i felt pretty shitty for being the cause of the fight
>Even if it wasn't my fault, i felt responsible.
>I did technically let my pervertedness get further with birthday than homely, if i had just treated them both equally it might have turned out differently.
>But i can't really help the fact that i liked birthday and not homely, no matter how much i wished i had been "Equal" i would have never treated them the same.
>Part of me is also thankful that the brother didn't actually come in here
>Because fuck if any of the rest of us knew where our various pieces of clothes were
>I'm actually amazed that Glasses' challenge has been so easy
>I mean the boner hasn't subsided because of all the topless women scurrying around, but besides passing glances at it, no girls had even acted
>I flop down on the couch, i've got like 20 minutes left, this'll be cake
>Speaking of cake
>I'm interrupted by blondie pouncing me

>She lands directly on-top of me, apron hanging lose, her pants seated firmly where my boxers are.
>I know she's seen my boner multiple times
>This might have been an excuse to feel it up, because she's sitting right on it.
>But she gives a squirm and scoots forward until she's not.
>She's oddly cuddly
>I don't understand
>I don't feel like i've done anything to deserve this, i thought she would hate me from earlier, both earliers.
>She's blushing again
>She's really cute when she blushes
>But then she asks this
>"Do you really... like it when i blush?"

>Scaring the total shit out of me
>Holy fuck she better not have been able to read minds this entire time

>I start thinking about kittens and bunnies just in-case
>None of that lewd stuff that was filling my head earlier
>But her expression doesn't change, its just a soft smile and a questioning look in her eyes.
>Oh right, i told her she was cute when she blushed when i was trying to escape homely's foot-claws
>Thingsaremuchbetterthanexpected
>I try to keep a suave attitude
>"Yeah... But i wonder how far that blush goes down"
>This worked wonders
>She's bright red again in the cheeks, shoulders and even a crimson hue on her upper chest.
>I think i'm falling for this girl

>I decide to trace the color with my finger, leaving a pale white streak where the pressure is released as i go along
>Her cheeks
>Her chin, i give a little tap
>Her neck
>Down to her shoulders, her upper chest.
>Then i use my other hand and softly slide her apron sideways revealing her left breast.
>I trace this too, following the outer curve
>Then lower, upper abdomen, stomach
>I tickle the bellybutton as i go by, she gives a giggle.
>Her skin is still pink this far down
>I trace to her navel, still pink
>The waistband of her shorts
>Still a shallow but present red, enough to warrant a further expedition i would think.
>I say this, she doesn't seem to disagree.
>I start un-clipping the button on her shorts
>The cough from behind us disagrees


>it's raven
>Arms crossed
>Not happy
>Blondie doesn't jump up and fly away like a bird though, she just relaxes and ends up fully lying on top of me instead of sitting.
>She turns her head
>I hear an absolute rarity come from her mouth, mean words.
>"I'm sorry, i'm borrowing your used-to-be *BEST FRIEND*, could we have some privacy?"
>Her tone is scathing, she's got emphasis on the fact that i was just a friend to raven
>She doesn't know, but then again i don't really know either
>I think this is claws, this harpy's song is shrill and her talons are in me
>I don't mind
>I'd protect her nest anytime.

>Raven tries to speak up
>But she doesn't really make out any words, or really many sounds at all
>I think she wants me to speak
>To say that she means more than a friend to me
>That we're more than friends now
>I stay silent

>Blondie is up and on her feet

>I'm pulled up with her
>Raven's eyes are livid, lime green with fury.
>No words from her
>No words from me
>Blondie speaks
>"Come on, let's go somewhere we won't be RUDELY interrupted"
>She's got her claws out alright

>Assertive, i like
>I trot after her, holding her hand, like a complacent dog
>We reach the master bedroom
>The door is locked once more
>I turn to face her, and she's transcending the visible light spectrum in blushing intensity.
>She's got a funny look on her face

>I realize that was as far as assertive blondie was going to take us
>She's frozen, staring at me.
>i let her stare, i'm curious if she'll do anything
>A minute passes
>Nope
>I point at the bed
>I hop onto it, fully and pat the spot beside me
>She doesn't seem to move
>God damnit blondie
>I have to get up and walk over to her.
>I'm not going to lead her hand in hand though, i bend over, wrap her arms around my shoulder and pick her straight up.
>She wasn't expecting this, but her legs and arms wrap around me tighter
>She's not limp, makes carrying her easier
>Five steps backwards and i'm on the bed again
>But this time blondie is atop me, straddling my crotch
>There's no hiding the boner, she knows right where it is.
>She doesn't slide forward and off it this time.


>She's still got a funny look on her face
>Not really a thing i can describe, i just... really liked it
>It was like she was surprised she had even managed to come this far and was just patiently waiting for me to make the next move.
>I wasn't really sure what move i should make, but i made one
>My hands go up to the bow behind her neck
>I'm about to untie it when she stops me
>"Leave it on...please"
>Do you want the apron on or off?
>Off
>Too bad.

>I wonder what this means
>If this is the only rule
>My hands ask that question for me
>Hands on her shorts
>I fumble with the button
>No complaint
>They're undone, i slip the zipper down
>The soft hiss of metal on metal as it moves.
>I realize that the apron completely obscures everything thats happening
>I'm not sure if this is a good call, or an amazing call.
>I can't really slide her shorts off from this position though, so i do the next best thing
>I pull her down to me, her back arching as i do
>And we kiss
>Not a soft kiss anymore, not like we had shared in the candlelight for a dare.
>This was a full blown soul sucking kiss
>I wondered if this was all a dream, a trance placed because i had simply been caught after escaping azkaban
>She closes her lips and softly bites my tongue
>this was no dream

>The kiss lasted a rather decent amount of time
>She still tasted like sugar, apples and syrup
>Her hands were holding mine
>Much like we had before, but they were tight
>almost as if she was holding herself down, instead of up.
>Her hips were sliding slowly, forward, back.
>the pressure was nice, but her shorts had a couple hard-spots that didn't feel too nice
>Mostly the zipper
>Zippers don't feel very nice at all
>embarrassedly don't want to point this out
>So i flip her onto her back
>We don't break the kiss
>We don't break contact
>She's just on the bottom now


>She's visibly missing the contact as i pull my crotch away
>Her hands flex helplessly against the bed when i pull away my hands and crawl backwards
>But this zipper man
>It has to go
>My head goes under the apron
>My hands go to her waist
>And the shorts go along with it
>I let out a laugh
>She's got white underwear with a cute bunny-rabbit pattern on them.
>I wonder if this is her secret favorite animal
>She's not raven, so she doesn't get up in a huff and run away insulted
>She just laughs too
>"You like them huh?"
>That laughter did her good, her voice isn't scared or embarrassed, just... trusting
>I realize i'm in a real position of power here
>In more ways than one


>I leave the bunnies on
>They're cute
>and i think i actually like this girl
>This thought may be influenced by the fact that looking-up i can see her entire stomach and both breasts from under the apron
>The light shining through, giving everything a peachy-tan kind of color.
>It's an alluring sight, her skin holding a near-tanned color underneath and pale white outside
>I pull out of the apron, the bottom flipped up
>I place my hips between hers, my manhood firmly against her panties
>It's a lovely place to be, warm, soft
>We've been over this
>It's where you want to be grinding when you're kissing a girl
>And we were back to kissing

>She seemed to have a little bit more initiative now
>I got flipped onto my back again
>My cock nestled warmly between her panty-clad buttcheeks
>I was like a happy little hotdog in a bun
>Assuming hotdogs are happy
>I sure hope they are if being cooked, placed in a warm steamed bun and being eaten is anything as pleasurable as this was.
>Actually come to think of it this felt way too good
>Cast in the name of god
>She should probably stop before i-

>Ye not guilty
>She juts her hips forcefully forward and back about three times

>BIG O
>I don't know what she was doing, or why she thought it was a good idea

>IT'S SHOWTIME
>I was over the edge before i could even shove her off
>She does get shoved off
>But there's a rather sticky mess in my boxers
>Her panties are dripping, with what could probably be a mixture of the two of us.
>But i'm rather embarrassed
>That has most certainly never happened before
>But that's what all the guys say.


>She's got a look of amazement on her face
>I'm not sure she realized it had happened, but she did
>I wasn't durasteel-hard anymore, for once during this sleepover i was completely soft.
>Mixture of embarrassment and self loathing can do that i guess.
>Maybe complete satisfaction
>I'm looking for words to explain
>But frankly none come to mind
>I do the smart thing
>I don't make an excuse
>I tell her the truth
>"You're the first girl to make me do that..."
>Which is probably not the truth she was looking for
>Because as i'm spread out in complete relaxation
>I get punched in the stomach

>Not hard
>But hard enough
>I let out a gasp of air
>She hadn't tried to kill me lately, i thought i was safe.
>I see how that could have been taken the wrong way
>But it's not, not as bad as i thought it was
>Because she continues
>"I better be the last who gets to make you do that"
>She means it
>Her voice is soft
>Her eyes are soft
>Her lips are soft...
>Inviting
>I take the chance and get her with another kiss before she giggles and rolls off me
>Sexytime is over however


>We're to our feet
>We're to the door
>She turns to me and tells me to clean myself up before going out
>Then she's opened the door and halfway out
>But glasses is standing there
>Arms crossed over her chest
>Uh o-
>I'm shoved back inside, blondie is shoved out
>The only words are "We need to talk."
>The door is locked again
>Fuck i lost the challenge


>Stained my honor all over my boxers
>Can't joust anymore
>Can't get a kiss from the princess
>Will never taste the feast of champions
>I'm pressed up against the wall
>She's close to me, staring me in the eyes
>No emotions i can read
>She's really good at that
>I'm however scared for my life
>Probably going to die
>Her hand goes into my pants and finds exactly what she expected
>A sticky mess
>I start trying to explain
>"I'm sorry, she got me in here and she was on-top and i didn't mea-
>I'm interrupted by her hand which is covered in copious amounts of sticky goo
>Right in front of my face
>Oh please no


>But its not anything as bad as i expected
>She licks it herself
>It's an odd sight, i don't know what to feel about it
>I can't tell if she's angry at me or what
>I was terrified she was going to slather it all over my face as revenge or something
>But she doesn't
>She just finishes all of it, and brings her hand down again
>Then asks a question
>Not a tease, not sultry
>Just a question
>"Was she worth it?"
>I don't know how to answer this question
>Do i lie
>Do i tell the truth
>Yeah she was worth it, i couldn't tell what mixture of emotions i was feeling
>I didn't know what they were
>But i felt exhilarated, enlightened, happy from the experience.
>I don't know what the emotion was, but it
>I didn't know how to explain this, specially not to the girl in front of me
>But i'm not really sure glasses was ever trying to catch me as her own
>Still, i tried
>"I think i like her... really like her"


>She gives a sigh

>She doesn't get angry

>She doesn't say anything, or hit me, or cry, or any of the things any of the other girls would do

>She just kneels down and pulls down my pants

>W... what

>Me being the idiot i am, point out that i didn't meet her challenge

>That i failed

>She points at the clock

>9:15

>She had me out of the bathroom at 8:05

>I know, i checked the clock

>You can't be serious

>You mean i won

>That still doesn't make sense in my head

>I'm pretty sure i completely fucked up and didn't win at all

>But her hand says otherwise

>And her lips say something completely different

>"She really likes you too... you know"


>It's a matter-of-factly statement as she's bringing my manhood to life.
>It was dead to the world, but its back at semi now
>A very confused
>Very very confused semi
>But her lecture continues
>"If you lead her on and change your mind, she'll be crushed you-know~"
>It's a singsong voice, completely disconnected from what her hands are doing
>The lubrication of my previous expenditure making it a rather sticky mess, not really conducive to a handjob
>Actually a little too much friction, i have to stop her hand
>It seems semen quickly stops being a decent lubricant as it dries
>She gets the idea
>Her mouth syncs up for just a moment with what she's doing with her hands
>She licks her hand
>And continues, both ways differently
>"You know how much raven cares about yo-
>I stop her


>I don't want to hear about raven
>I knew
>I blab for what could only be three full minutes to a silent glasses
>About how i didn't know what she really felt
>What i really felt
>I blabbed about what happened in the bathroom
>Atleast the sex bits and the conversation bits
>No matter how chill glasses was, i don't think attempted murder would fly well with her.
>I guess glasses gets the picture
>I ask her what her conclusion is
>What raven really felt, or if she was just using sex to remain friends
>She's silent, stroking me all the while
>It comes to mind how absurd this is
>Asking for relationship advice from someone giving me a handjob
>But that's just the kind of girl glasses was
>A real rarity, in a sea of crazy.


>She took her time
>I didn't mind
>Until she spoke
>Words of wisdom as always

>"She's only acting out because you're pulling away"
>Her words are heartfelt, like she went soul searching to find them
>She's not looking at me, she's staring straight forward.
>But her hand doesn't miss a beat
>Fuck, of course i knew that though
>She was being a clingy bitch
>It's why i couldn't stand her
>But my teenage mind didn't connect the dots
>It didn't realize why this was, why she was acting out.
>I didn't realize that was how the game worked

>But glasses prevents me from coming to the conclusion with her mouth
>Her hot breath, then her lips
>She was done talking
>She was thorough, i was at full-mast and clean as a whistle in less than a minute.
>Real ship shape
>She was back to her feet
>She was sitting on the side of the bed
>I didn't need to be invited
>Her pants were around her ankles and so were mine
>It wasn't really much to detail
>I was inside her faster than a bag of doritos in a room full of stoners.

>She was sitting on the side of the bed, i was standing on the floor
>She had her legs up in the air, actually over my shoulders
>It was an exceptionally interesting position, her arms holding onto my shoulders in a near vice grip, my hands at her waist.
>It was rather passionate
>Her eyes were full of lust, mouth open in a gasping smile
>I put her previous instructions to good use, aimed upwards
>Great position to do so, because she started squeezing
>I realized that every squeeze was her getting off, sometimes soft, sometimes hard.
>The mere fact that women can have multiple orgasms makes me jealous to this very day.
>But i hate to admit, i wasn't thinking that much about her at that moment
>I was thinking about blondie
>I felt bad, actually
>Her last words kinda implied i shouldn't touch anyone else
>And here i was, not 10 minutes later
>But guilt doesn't stop a writhing naked gasping and softly (very quietly) moaning girl from arousing you
>Especially not when every time i thrust, all the parts jiggled just right, breasts, legs.
>It wasn't too long before i came
>I don't know how much, i didn't care
>I was spent, not really up for a round two, but i fell into a sweaty gasping heap beside her.
>Her breath was ragged
>Her chest heaving back and forth
>I did a good job this time, i'm glad.


>She breaks her erratic breathing with a question
>"How do you feel?"
>I feel like that's an odd question to ask after sex
>what am i supposed to respond with, good, satisfied?
>But i can see what she's digging at
>I'm honest
>"Guilty"
>The half of her face that i can see from where i'm lying
>Well it smiles
>She tells me "Good".
>I wonder if she had this planned all along
>Guilty sex, something new i'd definitely not done yet
>But she laughed
>"It was great for me, no guilt at all"
>She's laughing as she says this
>F... fuck you glasses


>I was more guilty now that she'd said that
>I really shouldn't even screw around with the girls anymore if i planned to chase down blondie
>I mean it wasn't even a chase, i just had to get her alone again and agree to date her.
>Glasses rolled over and up
>Not in the mood for a post-sex cuddle i guess
>Pants and my Boxers back on
>I point out she's been wearing them for two days
>I get an "I know"
>Of course she knows
>Of course i would get that answer.
>i pull back on my red ones
>I don't really feel any cleaner
>Plus my boxers are still kind of sticky
>But i don't have anything else to wear
>Except yeah i do
>I glance over at blondie's shorts


>No, not those silly me
>I dive under the covers and find my hot-pink sweatpants
>Yess, this is what i need
>Boxers off, Sweatpants on
>Thumbs up from Glasses, i'm good to go
>Out the door, we're ready to go
>My legs are warm for the first time all morning
>Until we get to the living room that is
>Then everyone's glaring me down with ice
>Even birthday has come to grace me with her icy presence

>Now my legs are cold again
>But glasses performs another miracle
>She's put herself into a huffy mood
>"I've had a stern talking to him"
>Emphasis on stern
>I make my best attempt at looking dejected and sad
>Like i was just yelled at for 10 minutes
>Blondie buys it, Birthday buys it.
>Raven's not even looking at me.


>I'm pretty sure i know what i want from raven

>I want to smooth it out, make it clear to her that it's alright if we both stay friends

>I know this sounds absurd

>But i couldn't come to any other conclusion

>What was between us, it felt forced, as if i was willing but she wasn't

>As if she was forcing herself to be something that we weren't, to keep me close

>She was scared of losing me

>I just had to explain it to her

>I had to tell her that no matter what i wouldn't make distance between us

>That it would all be fixed somehow

>I was delusional


>I ask her to talk to me alone
>I try to make it clear that there are many things that need to be erased.
>She doesn't respond
>She turns away from me

>She strikes up a conversation with birthday
>This wasn't nonchalant
>This wasn't hidden
>Everyone watched
>Everyone saw exactly what she did
>Birthday didn't even keep up her half of the conversation very well
>It doesn't go over very well at all
>Everyone's staring at raven now
>She slowly stops talking
>And leaves


>Fuck
>Everyone's looking at me now
>Questions of "What the fuck did you do" are thrown
>This is a level of shit is fucked up yet unknown to my teenage mind
>Glasses offers to go talk to her
>I don't know what she's going to say
>She does something very-unglasses-like
>She agrees with me.
>Birthday realizes i'm not going to answer the question, and asks the next on her mind
>"Why is everyone shirtless but me?"
>I don't answer her
>Nobody answers her
>Except blondie
>"I made you breakfast, there's a plate in the fridge."

>It was a cold answer
>Empty, devoid of emotion
>But everyone felt cold
>That mood just rubbed off
>And everyone was looking at me again
>Fine
>Fucking fine ill go chase after her
>I move off in that direction, kitchen nothing
>Bathroom nothing
>Guest room, nothing
>Office, Nothing
>Master bedroom, Nothing
>Master bath. Locked.
>That's not really a problem compared to every other door in the house
>I find the pin i used earlier, there's a click and i'm inside.
>She's sitting on the toilet, lid down
>I close the door behind me
>She might pretend not to hear me but she can listen
>I start talking.

>I make the worst possible mistake i have ever made with a girl in my life
>The absolute worst
>There is no level of mistakes that can compare to this simple one
>There is no amount of regret that could fix this mistake
>It wasn't complicated
>I had great intentions, it wasn't supposed to be polite
>But i did it
>I tried to spare her feelings


>This might not sound too bad
>This might sound like exactly what i should have done
>But it wasn't
>So much of my opinion was based on how i felt she was being clingy
>On how i felt she didn't actually want to be in a serious relationship with me
>On how i felt she was being fake
>But i didn't tell her this
>I pussyfooted around the issue
>I used buzz words and phrases, like "Childhood Friends" and "You mean a lot to me"
>I tried to make it clear that i wouldn't stop being her friend no matter what
>That we could go back to the way things were.
>That she wouldn't lose me even if i dated any of the other girls
>I was heartfelt, i was serious
>I was giving her exactly what i thought she wanted
>But it wasn't even close

>She's silent for a while
>I'm silent
>Just staring
>I realize that i can see her
>I realize that the power has been on in here the entire time.
>I don't know why this was on my mind
>anything to distract me from what i was trying to do i guess
>But it wouldn't help
>Not after the words that i heard from across the bathroom
>"You're delusional, you mean nothing to me."
>She wasn't crying
>No emotion at all
>"You need to leave now."
>Those were the last words she wanted to say.
>But they didn't really hit me
>I was still enamoured with the electricity
>Wondering to myself why the other lights were out
>I just replied "Alright" and left

>I walked across the entire house, i checked the small bathroom and realized the lights in there had fried during the storm
>Living room too i guess
>I walk back to the living room, full of expectant girls
>I tell birthday that the bathroom and living room lights need to be replaced, this is met with an "Oh" and she scurries off to find spare lightbulbs
>I mention to glasses that she should go chat with raven, that she could use a "Real friend" right now.
>They weren't my words
>I didn't even hear them myself, but she walked off towards that part of the house
>Then i lie down on the couch
>And stare at the ceiling


>I don't really measure time when i'm looking up
>It was a rather nice ceiling compared to the others i had been looking at.
>Very clean
>I guess you keep the rooms you use the most, the cleanest
>But something yellow blocks my sight
>It's blondie's hair and face
>Her lips are moving
>But no sound is coming out
>Or maybe i'm really not listening
>She looks worried
>I guess i should say something
>So i speak
>But no words come out
>It doesn't sound like i made any sounds
>Maybe i just have the volume turned down low
>I grab my mental remote and i turn up everything
>Which was a bad choice
>Because not only does sound come back, but feelings do too
>and i feel awful

>Blondie seems to be asking me what happened
>I don't give her an answer, so she kinda sits down and hugs me sideways, then ends up lying next to me on the couch
>She's warm
>Comforting
>It makes me feel less awful, less like i'm going to explode
>I concentrate on Blondie and give her a kiss.
>Soft, but i pour out emotions into it
>She can share i guess.
>I feel better
>I don't know what she feels
>But we lie like that until birthday comes back
>I would expect her to be mad, to say something
>But she doesn't
>Maybe we just make a cute couple.
>Maybe she just doesn't care
>Whatever it is, she doesn't make a peep even when i kiss my partner again.
>I try to strike up a conversation about the ceiling with them
>But they just don't hold it very well.


>This is how they found us when the crime scene investigators analyzed the room
>The deadly neurotoxin was swift
>They say it's a painless way to go
>A much happier way than the story might actually end

>But alas
>In that dimension my name was john
>I hated every single one of you
>To my dismay, that dimension was not this one.
>This one i lay there for what must have been half an hour
>Blondie stayed the entire time, she knew something was wrong
>Or maybe she just enjoyed the contact
>Not having to hide it
>I enjoyed her company, the feeling of her skin against mine, her head on my shoulder.
>The smell of her hair
>I didn't have to think, while i lay there
>But birthday left, probably to go help glasses
>I didn't care
>I just wanted to look up.

>It's not long before blondie decides its time we stop moping
>Or she's bored
>Either way, she turns on the TV
>She sits upright
>I do as well, but i'm still not listening
>I see the colors
>But they're not in focus
>Only one thing is in focus
>Blondie
>That's the only thing i can feel
>So i chase after that feeling
>I take it
>She's on her back on the couch, i'm above her
>I don't think she realized what i was doing until it was far too late
>I was kissing her with almost all the ferocity i could muster
>If the only thing i could feel was blondie, then i wanted all of it.
>I wasn't even aroused, i just wanted to kiss her, that's all i wanted to do.

>And i did, i put the most passion i've ever put into a kiss
>My hands roamed, i groped everything i could touch
>Her neck, her chest, her hair
>I wrapped strands of her hair around my fingers as we kissed
>I watched it, enjoying the silky texture.
>I took every detail to memory
>I had picked this girl, i was going to make sure she knew it too.
>I don't know how long this went on
>But she kissed back
>She was receptive, not unwilling.
>I whispered things in her ear
>Words i'd never used before
>I made it clear that she was the only girl for me.
>It made me feel better
>almost
>I tried my hardest to concentrate only on her
>It was working
>Until her eyes got wide and she thumped on my back mid-kiss


>I turn around, one of my hands still firmly on her breast.
>There's raven standing there
>But she's the only girl, the others are nowhere to be seen.
>She doesn't have her arms crossed.
>She doesn't seem angry
>They're just loosely hanging by her side.
>Her eyes are grey in the light.
>"What do you want."
>I growl this at her, like a lion interrupted mid-feast
>She's timid, a small mouse compared to the words i used
>"I... i just wanted to tell you"
>She pauses
>Not just a small pause, it lasts almost a full minute and a half
>I'm getting impatient
>I growl
>"Spit it OUT"
>She seems surprised at this, like she was lost in thought
>But it gets a response
>"I wanted to tell you i HATED YOU and NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN"
>Oh, that's it
>Completely fucking insignificant piece of information raven, thanks
>I brush her off with an appropriate
>"Y...you too"
>Or something along those lines


>Whatever i said, she stomps off
>Glasses appears mysteriously from the shadows she was hiding in.
>She's smoother than a well-coded enemy spawning script
>But her words aren't smooth
>"I can't fix that Storybro"
>She uses my full name, i know its bad
>"She's not talking to Birthday or me anymore, she's furious at both of us"
>"And you just made it worse"
>I just give a mean "I know" in response
>The truth was, i just wanted to hurt raven
>In that oh-so nonsensical way, where you feel terrible so you want to hurt other people to make yourself feel better.
>It's a real thing, you've probably done it once or twice.
>It's childish, selfish and it makes everything worse
>I just didn't realize i wasn't the only one doing it.


>But glasses comments
>She points out i'm leaving finger marks on blondie
>I look over, and Blondie has a look of obvious discomfort on her face
>I look at my hand
>I'm practically clawing her breast.
>I let go
>There's white lines where my fingers and tips had been
>They soften
>They blotch
>They turn bright red
>I'm apologetic, but i get "It's fine" In return
>But glasses is still staring
>I growl at her
>"What, do you want to watch or something?"
>It's meant to shock her into being embarrassed
>But this is glasses
>And i don't really know what she was thinking, but she gave a perfect response
>"Ooh! can i?"
>But it wasn't a perfect response
>Her voice was empty, not sultry, not teasing.


>I didn't take this into note
>I offered to fuck blondie right there on the couch
>Glasses didn't flinch
>But blondie did
>Squeals of "No you can't!"
>Rather cute i guess, i asked her why not.
>She shifted her eyes
>She looked away from me, turned her head a little bit
>"Reasons..."
>I could guess at what those reasons were
>I didn't care
>I reached my hand down to the waistband of her bunny-underwear
>No longer cute, just in the way
>I start to drag it down
>I find a hand on my own
>It's not blondies
>Its glasses
>My hand is pulled up and away
>I must have an incredulous look on my face
>But i get slapped
>Hard
>I roll off the couch and too the floor
>Back to staring at the ceiling again


>I just turn off and silently try to ignore the girls and the movements they're making.
>Blondie is silently yelling at glasses
>My guess is that she would have been fine with it
>Didn't matter what my guesses were
>I was back to not feeling anything, so i didn't need blondie's sympathy
>But she presumably wanted to make things better for me still
>So she got up and left
>Probably to talk with raven
>I silently wished her luck
>Glasses just stared off at where she went
>Then sat down on my stomach like a seat, laying her head back on the couch
>She was rather heavy for my small stomach, but i didn't really care
>She was talking
>Probably to me
>I probably heard every word, but i don't remember a single one.
>I remember i could feel the vibrations of her speech through her skin to my stomach
>It felt like it was important
>It vibrated like i should listen
>I didn't


>Everyone trickled back in
>The sound came back, and so did raven
>I guess blondie fixed it
>Somehow
>I don't know how, i never asked
>We all watched TV
>Not much talking really
>Just whatever was on
>The mood was... terse, quiet
>Strained
>We watched until lunch almost rolled around
>It was a question posed i guess
>Raven offered
>Nobody argued with her
>She left and we went back to watching TV
>But we talked this time.


>I smiled
>i kissed blondie.

>I made jokes about the state of dress of everyone.

>Birthday even took off her shirt (welcome to the club you late-princess)
>and i played various games with blondie under her apron.
>Some of them not even lewd.
>But it was empty
>The mood was forced
>And noon rolled around, and passed by slowly
>No lunch
>Not a peep from the kitchen
>Nobody seemed to notice but me


>Or they were ignoring it
>Hoping the problem would solve itself
>Fuck it
>I get up
>I announce that i'm going to go help with lunch
>As stupid as a plan this is
>I might as well try to get the food out faster.
>It's a long walk to the kitchen
>Feels farther than it used to be, maybe i was just slow
>But i arrived what felt like three days later
>I wanted to sit down as soon as i got there
>But the first thing i did was shout in alarm
>Raven was curled up in the corner by the cabinets, a pool of white liquid on the floor in front of her, and she was holding her wrist with her other hand
>After yelling for the other girls, i'm on the floor beside her
>I'm yelling "Are you OK" and various other trivial questions
>The real question is answered when i pull her hand away from her wrist

>Nothing
>There was nothing on her wrist
>I look up at her face, i don't understand why she's sitting here
>I see her eyes; the cracks and splits in the usual perfect emeralds.
>She's crying.
>She's staring through me at the puddle
>It's got a measuring cup in it, i look up and around the kitchen trying to figure out what kind of acidic dangerous substance she's spilled
>But the only thing on the counter is milk and a mixing pan
>She's crying over spilt milk


>I know that sounds cliche
>I know that sounds like she's putting up a fuss over nothing
>But what's hard to understand is why she was crying over the milk
>But it's rather hard to explain in character what i thought at the time.
>I was probably thinking the same thing you were
>That she should simply man the fuck up and stop being a faggot
>But it's a little different than that
>Ill ask you a question instead
>Have you ever been depressed anons?


>[spoiler]Depression is a difficult thing to explain to people who haven't ever experienced it. But the simplest explanation is that everything is slightly different[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]I can't go into why it happens, because frankly not even doctors really understand what causes depression. But i can tell you what its like[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The world is the same, everything you do is the same, everything is the same. Except for that little dice roll in your head that lets you guess at how well whatever you do is going to turn out.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]That dice roll is now rigged[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Everything you imagine doing, seems pointless. Nothing will turn out the way you want it to. There will be only negative results from every meaningful action you take.[/

>[spoiler]This is really the easiest way to explain it, because that simple dice roll changes everything[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Things look different, situations feel different, it's like life isn't worth living. Nothing has meaning, you can't really look at the future and enjoy it.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Seriously think about it, how much would you like your life if tomorrow always looked like it would be shittier than today? and the next day even worse?[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Every, single, day.[/spoiler]


>[spoiler]This is why raven was sitting in the kitchen crying over a small puddle of milk[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Not because it was any real problem, not because it would have mattered in the least[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But because the way she was feeling, the way her day had turned out[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]It was just one more thing that went wrong, the pebble that broke the proverbial bird's willingness to fly[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]So she sat down in the corner and cried, because she felt like it, because nothing she was doing mattered anyway[/spoiler]
>I didn't really know why she was crying
>I didn't really care, she hadn't made lunch
>But i wasn't heartless
>I picked her up with the assistance of Glasses, and we moved her to a stool sitting against the kitchen island
>She didn't sit very upright
>She put her head down against the tile
>I didn't check to see if she was still crying.



Well anons, i've been posting for 12 hours. That's probably enough for update #21, really that's about as much content as 21-23, so be happy.

Expect more wednesday at 8:00 PST


Update #22 : April 30th

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11531888#p11531962





>I knelt down with a roll of paper towels and soaked up the mess
>It wasn't very much, so i only needed a sheet or two
>Glasses busied herself with grabbing whatever ingredients struck her fancy from the fridge

>On the counter, there was milk, flour, eggs, sugar and those little packets of instant-yeast.
>Frankly i don't know what raven was even going to make
>Cake maybe, or any manner of bread-like things.
>We don't ask
>It's no piece of cake to bake a pretty cake
>She just sits there with her head down as we busy ourselves throwing various ingredients together and making [REDACTED]
>Her way was hazy.
>It's rather uneventful, since as you would know [REDACTED] takes a fair amount of human involvement to make.
>So glasses and myself were busy scurrying around the kitchen grabbing things, sizzling others and spatula-ing the rest.
>It was fairly straightforward, Birthday and Blondie weren't involved at all
>But they didn't know they couldn't be lazy.

>They had tried to console raven at first
>But she wasn't talking to anyone it seems
>Or she was sleeping
>Or pretending to sleep
>They left her when we kicked them out for getting in the way.
>One chair being occupied was enough, we didn't try to kick that one out.
>They were off in the other room still watching TV

>Like i said, uneventful
>But eventually [REDACTED] was finished, and we topped it with a mixture of [DATA EXPUNGED] and [FILE CORRUPTED]
>We all pulled chairs into the kitchen and decided to eat there
>Crowded around the kitchen island
>Everyone loved the food, it was superb
>The way the [REDACTED] fell onto your tongue was like sunlight sparkling over the clouds on a rainy day.
>It was absolutely exotic, i had no clue glasses knew how to make something so simple yet so delicious.
>Frankly, if i didn't know any better
>
>[CLEARANCE LEVEL NOT HIGH ENOUGH TO VIEW THE REST OF THIS ENTRY]


>The last scraps cleared off every plate, people are appropriately full of food
>Even the quiet girl seems to have enjoyed it
>Hopefully moods will improve
>It's about halfpast noon, we have five-tummy-full humans
>Hours to waste
>What do we do?
>VIDEO GAMES
>Miss-Black-Hair is still silent, but she's not crying
>We all pile onto the couch, everyone this time
>Birthday, Raven, Glasses, Me, and Blondie takes the opportunity to sit on my lap.
>We all fit now
>Fuck you homely


>Still only 4 controllers though. Birthday gets one, I get one, Glasses gets one.
>The last goes to raven.

>Glasses hands it straight to her instead of blondie
>Nobody argues
>[spoiler]There's a wonderful thing video games do that TV doesn't[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]You need to concentrate on them, stay aware, control them[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]When you're watching TV, you have time to think, your mind can wander and contemplate other things. You can pay attention to the world around you.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]You play video games when you don't want to think about the world, just the game[/spoiler]

>We all silently agreed we would swap controllers between whoever wasn't playing.
>We didn't try to swap with raven

>It's odd, how i was surrounded by a couch of topless near-naked women, and i really wasn't paying attention to any of them when i had a controller in my hands
>But as soon as i swapped off on death with blondie, i went back to noticing her.
>And when i took the controller back, she noticed me
>It's odd how that worked
>When i was playing she curled up to the right and into the crook of my arm.
>Small sounds of contentment, nothing much at first
>When she was playing i wrapped my arms around her, over the apron.
>(Yeah she was still wearing it, i know right?)
>Squeezed softly, nothing much at first
>Death after death, we ended up the only two trading
>Kinda cheap on Birthday and Glasses' part
>But it didn't mind, because girl on my lap.
>I could play with that too


>There was firstly, miles and miles of skin to explore
>But i wasn't being mean
>Not like when i was playing with glasses, she deserved it
>No, i had no intention of getting blondie killed. I kept my hands in non-ticklish spots
>Unless i accidentally tickled her of course
>I was soft, caressing
>It was less playing, and more exploring, enjoying the texture of her skin.
>Enjoying the movements she made
>The unconscious shifts in bodyweight as my hands hiked along the trails of her ribcage, the curves of her stomach.
>The scent of her hair, the faint aroma of the cinnamon and sugar she had been working with in the morning.
>I tried to keep it rather innocent
>I say tried
>I was back to having a boner
>I couldn't help it
>The turnaround of the teenage body really is an amazing thing.


>I might have been wearing sweatpants, but those did nothing to hide it from her
>She knew
>The best part
>She knew it was her fault
>She was sitting on me the entire time, the growth from flacid-to-erect is a thing that a girl definitely notices.
>I think she liked it
>She had done a little more than notice
>She had shifted, slowly, over time
>Every time i had the controller, she wiggled, her butt with my bulge nestled properly between her legs.
>It's a shame we weren't playing on a Wii (it wasn't out yet)
>There would have been far more waggling involved


>It was rather a nice feeling, but far too little stimulation to really go anywhere.
>Not that i really wanted to go anywhere, im sure she was feeling nice too.
>I was rather happy to stay like that
>But as is the way with most things like this
>My hands werent
>They went off on another inquisition for that blonde-hued-gold
>I was less... innocent this time
>Let's just say my hands visited places reserved for kings, and my fingers explored valleys yet-unexplored by any other man.
>I'm not sure we were being very sneaky about it
>She was rather breathy
>only a minute or two of this second wind of exploration and i have to snap my hands away from blondie.
>Raven had just stood up
>She stands for a moment, controller in hand
>Then steps forward and sits down on the rug in-front of the TV.
>Ahh, i guess she just wasn't comfortable on the couch
>Made sense in my head

>My hands return
>I don't have to worry about raven seeing
>I don't care if birthday sees
>Glasses watching is just a turn-on

>I've made my choice
>Hand in her panties underneath the apron
>It's actually the first time i've felt her be really wet down here
>I took note
>She might actually enjoy being watched, or the fear associated with knowing there's others that can see.
>Or, as i was closer and closer to hoping
>We were a really good match
>I didn't doubt she had fallen for me too, in more ways than one.
>That blush she has, no wonder it goes all the way down


>Believe it or not, this is really the first time i'd fingered her.
>I seemed to have been farther faster with every other girl, atleast in my mind.
>Saving the best for last maybe.
>Or i wasn't sure what i had in my arms
>Either way, she had the benefit of being after glasses little lesson for me.
>So for once with a girl, i wasn't a clumsy idiot trying to get my fingers in her vagina.
>[spoiler]I lied, that part never fucking stops being a thing, no matter how many women you're with[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But i wasn't awful, and that's what matters[/spoiler]
>She was actually rather tight
>Surprisingly so
>I could only get one finger in, my pointer.
>To me though? This was plenty.

>Somehow Blondie was managing to be quiet during all of this
>But she was squirming around quite a bit
>Might have actually been rather uncomfortable for her, but her hands didn't pull mine away
>Well i guess she did have a controller in her hands, but still
>I didn't take it back when she died like i usually do.
>She was still playing like a pro
>Frankly if you were watching the screen you wouldn't have a clue as to what was going on
>But i'm pretty sure everyone knew except for raven
>So i did something mean
>I flipped the apron up with my other hand


>This was met with two stares
>One from Glasses
>One from Birtdhay
>The character on the screen stopped moving and progressing the party forward
>Maybe for a full minute
>But Blondie stared straight ahead
>I could see the back of her neck, it was as red as a barn door.
>But she didn't turn, or move
>Or stop me
>Raven didn't seem to look back either
>I did wave at birthday to try to get her to keep moving the character
>She seems to get the idea and starts moving again
>Phew
>Glasses is still staring
>But she's got a smile on her face
>A look in her eyes
>It says
>"You better be doing it like i showed you nigga"

>No worries glasses
>I took your advice to heart, i got her covered dawg
>Or, uncovered
>Birthday doesn't seem to care
>Well or she does but doesn't
>It strengthens my suspicions that she didn't really like me and was just competing with homely the entire time.
>I continue with my finger and discover
>Much to my delight
>That soft, barrier to further access.
>I don't break it
>That's not a job for a finger.
>[spoiler]Actually it is, i just didn't know any better[/spoiler]

>But i don't stop, i continue teasing and playing with her on my lap
>I keep it up, play rather affectionately around other parts with my other hand.
>Minutes, seconds, days, who knew how long it really was.
>But eventually my hand returns to her breast and i get a brilliant idea
>Broken nipple mechanic here i come
>I squeeze one
>She tenses up
>I Squeeze again
>That does it
>She lets out a squeal, not a squeak, not a small sound
>It's loud
>Her body kind of ripples, i can feel it from my fingers down below, up to my shoulders pressed against her
>Then she just loses all tension
>Which i realized at the last moment was a bad thing
>Because i had my legs more spread than they were to start, and she started to slip right between them
>And that's where i was keeping my family jewels

>Terror
>But i guess the angle was wrong, or she wasn't as tight to me as i thought she was
>She kind of lands on them
>And yeah it hurts a little bit
>But the couch is soft, and she's soft, and i manage to scoot back and solve the problem before it really hurts.
>Still though i had a hand to my crotch real quick making sure the two of them were ok.
>This is what, the third attempt she'd half-assed on my life?
>She's getting sloppy, letting her feelings get in the way of her work.
>Blondie is obviously distracted, she drops the controller
>Dies during whatever fight she was in, along with birthday and raven.
>Guess it was a hard boss, i wasn't helping


>Glasses solos the boss
>While looking at me
>She's just mashing buttons

>Somehow wins
>The victory screen comes up
>I pull my hand out
>Stare Glasses back in the eyes
>And i suck on my finger.
>I see something in her eyes
>Maybe a reflection of the red blondie has currently turned
>Maybe something else
>But i'll tell you, the finger was almost tasteless
>Subtle, rather light
>Out of the girls i'd tasted, it was the softest flavor. Hints of sweetness, tad bit of bitter, little bit of sour, like a well ripened fruit.
>Might be my favorite
>Didn't know, had to taste more.


>I tried to put my finger back
>But that wasn't happening right now
>I mean i got my hand back and everything
>But the poor girl was as limp as a wet noodle
>She kind of curled up on my lap sideways, buried her head in my arm and closed her eyes.
>She mumbles something, its quiet
>Too quiet, i can't hear it
>Or i can't make it out
>But glasses perks up
>And so does raven, but for a different reason
>She announces she has to use the restroom
>But she doesn't turn around right away
>Almost like she knows what's going on behind her
>I almost want to show her
>But i think better of it
>I flip her apron back up, remove my hand
>I pick up the controller, act like nothing was happening
>I didn't plan on telling birthday the controller would be sticky later


>Raven turns around
>No real look on her face
>Curled up girl in my arms
>I think she's going to sleep
>But raven leaves
>Silently, no stomping
>I felt like that was a good sign
>But i was still a little confused
>I thought i would be happy after getting the girl of my dreams off and having her sleep in my arms
>But i still felt guilty
>and i didn't know why

>Raven returns
>She looks rather sad actually
>Her cheeks were rather blotchy, shades of grey and red
>She stops near the couch and looks at me
>Right in the eyes, but she's not close
>Her emeralds look like Steely quartz from this angle.
>It's a color i'd never seen from her before
>She stares back
>Opens her mouth, as if to say something important
>Something on her mind for hours
>She looked as if she was really going to say it too
>But birthday interrupts
>asks if she's going to sit down so we can continue
>I would blame her for being inconsiderate, for not paying attention. But to be fair she was rummaging through our inventory equipping stuff.
>She probably wasn't even looking at raven.


>Raven closes her mouth
>Sits down on the floor again
>I can't see her face
>All i can see is her smooth skin, and the ridge of her spine
>She's hunched over almost
>Concentrating on the vidya i hope
>We don't get much farther into the game
>I'm no good at blondie's character, glasses can't stop staring at me and birthday keeps dying.
>So you know, the usual when blondie isn't around to heal us.
>Yeah, i know
>Ironic
>She was peacefully asleep in my arms though, i wasn't going to interrupt that cat-nap

>We have to stop because it's just not fun when you're not progressing
>Plus the difficulty mode we had it on made it impossible to really progress at all without a good human healer.
>It gets swapped out to some 2 player coop game.
>Birthday and I give up controllers
>And as a result, glasses hops off the couch to sit on the floor with raven
>And birthday
>She scoots over to talk to me
>Not really as much talking, as non-verbal communication
>She doesn't seem to be jealous
>She's just examining blondie
>I get a couple statements from her though
>"You two look cute together" is whispered.
>an "IF you break her heart i'll kill you" is implied



>Couple more lovely statements, most nice
>Some more threats
>You know, it's birthday
>Overprotective
>But i think she was overall glad that Blondie was happy
>We'd been over the how-little-friends blondie had before we picked her up part before
>But she was rather lonely at school
>I didn't even know if she'd ever had a boyfriend before
>Guess it was something i should ask when she woke up
>Even though we had really skipped that step
>Lots of talking we needed to do, about everything
>Wouldn't be so bad, we weren't very distant before the party anyway.


>I did however have to use the bathroom
>The #2 kind
>Which meant miss-blondie was going to have to wake up, or i would have to scoot her off
>That part actually goes by amazingly well
>Just kinda lifted her and left her sitting where i was sitting before, she didn't even wake up
>I manage to escape without being followed
>Do my business
>Wash up
>Open the door
>Raven's sitting outside with her back against the wall
>She looks up to my face when i leave
>I don't see her eyes, she's in a shadow
>But her mouth opens again
>She tries to put words together, i don't think it's very easy for her
>I just patiently wait
>I owe her that much
>But probably not
>Still, she gets half a sentence out
>"I'm... happy...for"


>Then she pauses
>She really doesn't have to finish, there's only one thing she could say
>But she does anyway
>"Her..."
>Well now she's proven there was more than one thing she could say
>That was not the word i expected
>It felt wrong
>Like she was using the wrong word
>I couldn't tell what it really meant
>Like it was a passive aggressive way of telling me she was still angry at me, while pretending to be happy
>It felt low
>It hurt
>It made me feel guilty all at the same time.
>I react appropriately
>I call her mean names
>I tell her she's full of shit
>I leave her there with mouth open
>Shocked look on her face
>Didn't go anywhere near as badly as she expected
>That rigged dice roll, was throwing negatives.


>I return to the living room
>Raven doesn't
>Birthday has the controller and is on the floor now
>I sprawl out on the couch and use Blondie's stomach as a pillow
>Comfy as fuck
>I can feel her breathing, rise and fall
>I think she might actually be awake
>There's a hand on my head
>Running through my hair
>Yeah, she's awake
>[spoiler]Heads on stomachs are not lightweight things anons[/spoiler]
>But she runs her fingers across my scalp
>It actually feels really good
>I don't know why
>It's like a thousand times better than doing it yourself.
>Sometimes i think humans are big cats, getting scratched on your scalp always feels great enough to make you purr.


>Glasses eventually gets up and zips off to somewhere
>I'm given the controller
>I give a rather half assed attempt at playing sideways
>Birthday wins like every time we have to compete.
>My head really isn't in the court either
>Slam, Bam, Thank you ma'am
>Want to get on the floor and jam.
>Girl, you got me in a zone.
>Least i didn't feel bad about what i'd said
>Somehow skin contact with blondie made everything better
>Even if i was harsh to you-know-who.
>I think i dozed off partially thinking about that, after handing blondie the controller
>Glasses didn't come back either.

>I wasn't asleep for very long
>really only so long you can sleep for on a couch with your head on a very-awake girl
>Maybe a couple minutes, maybe half an hour
>I wake up to blondie squirming though
>Ends up she has to pee
>I've got my head sitting on her bladder
>Oops
>I roll up and off of her
>Glasses still isn't here
>She's actually over in the doorway watching us when i look around
>I sit upright
>I realize raven is there too
>Her eyes are grey from this distance
>Lifeless
>But she approaches me and they glint like neon green quartz in the sunlight
>I know that glint, she's got a plan
>But it catches me off guard
>It's nothing i would have expected
>Her mouth opens
>Words come out
>Half sob, half strangled wail
>"I'M SORRY"


>She repeats this
>"I'M SORRY"
>"I'M SORRY"

>Different variations
>Different pitches
>She starts apologizing for things

>She tells me everything's her fault
>She's taking a step towards me with every word
>"We can start over!"
>Keeps telling me it's no big deal we can fix everything
>She's rather close now
>"I'll do whatever you want to make it better!"
>She's actually on top of me now, i realize she's not quite right in the head at the moment
>Which is reinforced by her hand on my crotch
>and her quick statement of
>"I'll fix everything i promise"
>This is far too crazy for me
>For her, this last couple days has been crazy
>But this is really psychotic crazy
>Not what i want at all
>So i shove her off
>And she comes back pummeling me with her fists
>Tears streaming down her face


>I'm not sure what color her eyes were
>Fist colored maybe
>She was screaming things but they were incoherent
>I didn't care what she was screaming, this shit was crazy even for her.
>I grab her arms as they come at me, stop her cold
>Roll her over and force her down to the sofa
>She's got wet streaks down her cheeks
>Face just confused, no expression, but no lack of expression either
>I try to ask her what's wrong, talk her down, try to get her to explain anything, everything
>She seems to calm down
>Then i take a chance and let go of her hands
>wrong move
>She starts flailing at me again

>I do this two more times, each time getting her to what i feel is an even calmer place than the last
>Her eyes are radiating a mixture of fury and sadness, Glasses is standing behind me watching, and i can see blondie from across the room watching too.
>I didn't look at birthday
>I let go one last time, when i feel the fire has gone out
>I get punched in the jaw
>head swivels completely around 3-4 times, you know the drill
>But before it stops spinning, her arms are around my back
>She's hugging me, squeezing as hard as she can
>I'm half bent over the couch, she's actually lifting herself off it by holding onto me.
>She's actually half choking half strangling me by doing this
>But it's not as bad as the pain in my jaw from getting punched
>I growl at her to let go
>I have half a mind to punch her back
>But she squeezes tighter
>As if that was even possible
>"Don't make me"
>It's a child's voice, scared and afraid


>I could have let her, why not right?

>Except i wasn't in a very letting mood

>Wasn't up for rewarding hitting people with hugs

>Its a shame, because i struggled

>Shoved her off to the couch and i stood up straight

>She gave a kick towards my balls

>Which i managed to avoid by inches

>Had a couple choice words

>With everyone watching

>Most of them were "Fuck you"

>The others were that i didn't want to talk to her again

>She didn't take that too well, and came at me again



>Glasses stopped her with her arm
>Birthday was holding her back from behind
>Raven had her lips extended as if she was trying to kiss me, or bite my face off.
>At this point, she could have done both.
>But because Glasses had her stopped, she was paused only a couple inches away.
>We stand like that for a moment, frozen, eye to eye.
>Raven's eyes. cold, misted over and empty
>We stand like that for a mere moment in time
>But it was enough for her face to shift into rage and for her to rip herself away from birthday
>and stomp angrily away.
>A door slammed in the distance.
>fuck

>That was not what i needed right now
>Whatever that just was, it felt like shit
>It left me confused
>It felt like shit
>It left me guilty
>I felt like shit
>Everything hurt again
>Everything.
>It felt like i'd just had a fight with a vicious enemy
>Lost
>Fallen out of a third story window
>And hit the ground
>Glass raining down around me
>Real Folk blues you know?

>Wasn't a good feel
>Back to my favorite passtime
>Lying on the couch
>Staring at the ceiling
>Except i was interrupted by everyone else staring at me
>What

>Like i could fix that
>Seriously
>Like i could fix any of that
>They obviously thought i could
>Alright
>Fuckin tinkerbell over here, i guess if you believe in me i can go fly and shit
>I get off the couch, jump out the window, do like five laps of the house in midair and fly back in.
>Showed up at the door i expected had been slammed
>Wasn't birthday's room
>Check the bathroom, voila
>Another fucking locked bathroom
>I didn't break and enter this time
>I was polite
>I knocked
>And yelled
>"FUCKING LET ME IN"


>Unsurprisingly, nothing happened
>So i knocked again louder
>Maybe she didn't hear me right?
>Still no response
>Well, whatever, i tried
>I return to the living room
>All the girls are staring at me
>Its a look of
>"You're a fucking idiot"
>I get it from everyone, until birthday runs off to go try to talk to raven.
>I plop down on the couch right as i hear a yell
>"IT WAS UNLOCKED YOU ASSHOLE"
>It's birthday yelling
>I don't feel like an asshole though


>She comes back after 15 minutes
>She didn't look very happy with me
>But it wasn't really me
>That kind of second hand anger that sometimes happens.
>she sits us down, blondie and I.
>I know what's coming
>Some speech about how blah blah blah
>But that's not what happens
>Birthday explains that she's not really sure why Raven's so... moody
>As much as i keep thinking otherwise, I'm the only person she's said a word to most the morning.
>Every time a girl has gone to talk to her, it's been one sided
>She'd been silent every time
>I didn't realize this
>I actually do feel like an asshole now
>And there's another feeling
>It's rather confusing, deep, shallow, painful, enjoyable at the same time.
>I don't have a word for it, but it hurts.


>Birthday asks us something rather simple
>She asks us to stop
>Stop showing affection for one another
>Stop making a scene
>Stop being lovey-dovey
>In fact, she suggests we just stop all that stuff and everyone puts on clothes
>I play dumb
>I ask her
>"Why"
>I don't need to explain her answer
>But it made sense
>The less clothes we were wearing, the more tension formed between everyone.
>And for raven's sake we should stop
>I don't like it very much, i spent valuable time and effort unclothing everyone step by step
>But i'm not dumb, it was looking to be a very-unfun last day if this continued
>so i agreed
>Shame it didn't matter.

>Clothes went on, shirts mostly on everyone
>I didn't bother checking if birthday had panties on again under her skirt
>Blondie didn't put pants on, i didn't put underwear on
>But other than that, shirts were the main thing.
>Blondie even took off her apron and had bunnies back.
>Shame, but we're taking a hit for raven
>Even though there's a thousand and one reasons we shouldn't be nice to her, we weren't heartless
>So we got her to come back
>well... i did, she just kind of came when i asked her.
>wouldn't respond to anyone else
>She wasn't very responsive when blondie forced a shirt on her either.
>Just trudged back to the living room with us, head hung


>It was a little bit of rearranging to get everyone seated again.
>I got the couch, raven in the middle, glasses at the other end, birthday and blondie on the floor playing the game.
>It was really maybe 10 minutes of silence
>Then things began to get weird
>Raven struck up a conversation with me
>About nothing, nothing at all
>But every sentence was a question, carefully designed to just be something i could answer.
>Like nobody else was invited to talk
>Like she just wanted to talk to me, and me alone
>It went on like that for a while, and i started trying to lay in hints to other people.
>Trying to get them to answer too
>I wanted her to be talking to everyone, not just me
>I felt like it would help
>No responses, or they missed my hints
>So i was blunt, i asked a girl at random saying "I don't know, let me ask"
>I ended up asking blondie
>I swear i wasn't playing favorites, or any of that
>But that's when the conversation stopped
>When she stopped responding to me.
>To anyone
>I couldn't get a word out of her, she just stared straight forward at the TV.




Update #23 : May 1st

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11545614


>A stupid
>Pointless
>Question
>That was the last thing she said
>From that point on she was silent

>We tried to invite her into our conversations, bring her up in topics so she would feel inclined to respond.
>I even tried mentioning a few topics i knew she loved, silly things, trivial things that she should have even given a shift of her eyes in response to.
>But she was silent
>Stared forward
>Hands neatly folded in her lap
>Not a word, Not a movement
>She wouldn't take a controller, wouldn't move from her seat.
>So we went back to symphonia, beat the game.


>We hadn't been too far, but the ending bits were tearjerking to say the least.
>We lost all of our party one by one to various traps, had to fight Kratos, then Mister-this-isn't-even-my-final-form.
>Angels, space travel, all that yank
>And the ending was something we all wanted to talk about, so talk we did
>We discussed the balance between the worlds, the relationship between the two main characters.
>No its hot, no its cold, no i lied its hot.
>Various things about magic being people, all that snazz.
>Was a game that influenced my youthhood deeply, but the conversation was heavy
>There were bouts of awkward silence in between some of the topics, stares that lingered a bit too long.
>It's tough to hold a conversation like that, to pretend to be cheery
>To banter about a game and the ending
>Whats on your mind, what you're thinking right now
>Well it's obvious to everyone at that moment
>But what the fuck do you do about it.

>What's the real problem
>Did she love me?
>That's the problem, i didn't think so.
>Her actions seemed shallow, if glasses could be considered "Casual" sex, then raven was like she was throwing it away.
>She didn't seem to enjoy any intimacy with me
>Like a friend forcing herself to be more
>For my sake
>That wasn't what i wanted
>Casual sex might be fun, but i was living in the dreams of media and anime
>I wanted romance, love, all those important things that don't really work the same way IRL as they do on TV.


>You might have only known this girl for the short three days of this party, but i had years

>She was never unstable, never had hit me before, never had thrown a tantrum and stopped talking to anyone.

>She was usually the most sane out of the group, but this had somehow changed these last days.

>She had progressively degenerated into something completely different

>It was like she was destroying herself and trying to remake her personality as something new, just for me.

>Failing every step of the way

>Trying approach after approach as differently as possible and failing.

>And something caused it

>I had no clue what

>But it was my fault


>So what did she want?
>Did she want a fake relationship to pull me away from someone i might have a chance of actually connecting romantically to?
>Blondie had been completely receptive every time, shared the passion
>Even when she wasn't buzzed
>Raven had only been passionate the first night, when we were both rather drunk.
>Even then i couldn't be sure i wasn't just forcing her and she went along because she trusted me.
>Everything past that? It felt like i had done it all, lied to myself to imagine she liked it.
>She had it in her mind that sex was the way to win me over, just like homely.
>Did she want our old friendship back?
>I had tried to give it to her
>I thought i had
>But i just made it worse, a thousand times worse somehow
>So that really was the question.
>What was i supposed to do, besides charge on like an idiot and hope it all turns out fine.
>But the feeling in the pit of my stomach was back.

>That was the thinking, the thoughts that flowed through my head for almost an hour.
>I don't remember what we were doing, it was 4:00, maybe 5:00pm
>If i'm honest, it was probably TV
>But it would have just been boring without those thoughts
>Nothing happened, no more sexy things
>No more cuddles with my new-found girl
>It was a quiet, empty, hour of relaxing and just chilling
>And the fact that nobody wanted to break the silence
>Because talking felt wrong when one in our company wouldn't.
>Better all be quiet than only one i guess.
>It was thirsty eventually from all that thinking
>I left to the kitchen, offered to get everyone drinks
>Blondie offered to help
>She really shouldn't have, she knew what birthday said
>But it happened
>We ended up in the kitchen together
>She just wanted to talk



>About lots of things
>About us, mostly
>We didn't really say it, but there was a relationship between us now
>Boyfriend, girlfriend, couple. We didn't use any of those words
>But it was implied
>I think blondie preferred the term "Item"
>But some things weren't so much implied
>Like her flat out telling me that i wasn't going to touch anyone else.
>I wasn't actually going to argue, Blondie was the only one there that i kept telling myself i had a connection to.
>There was electricity every time we kissed, just being around her made me feel better, and i had that generous urge to ravish her until she couldn't be ravished anymore.
>In my mind, that was more than a crush
>But Andromeda was shining brightly that evening.
>Glasses was behind her, and interrupted with a small cough
>She had that tendency, to show up right when she was summoned
>and absolutely ruin everything
>She mused, almost half thought ,half real words
>"Don't go ruining my fun just yet~"

>I expected blondie to actually turn around and stab her
>But luckily there were no knives within reach
>Instead she just swiveled
>Some kind of angry frown on her face
>Blondie wasn't in a good mood anymore, her eyes were dark and stormy.
>Cat's out of the bag
>Thanks Glasses you giant je-
>"I still need to get him naked, it's on my list~"
>She pulls this out of nowhere
>Fucking amazing acting, i believed her even
>Glasses the true master of the ruse
>But she held up a glare towards blondie.
>Which meant one thing.
>Blondie softened
>Like a delicious serving of 15% milkfat old-style ice cream.
>Which for those of you un-used to such treasures, was nearly her hair color.
>She folded right over on herself
>Typical really, she wasn't very confrontational
>Her words, the ultimate compromise
>"y... i mean when the sleepover is finished"
>Hahaha
>If you haven't noticed
>Blondie is beta as fuck


>But she leaned over and whispered in my ear
>"B...but to me first please"
>Timid, quiet
>Not really a demand, a request really
>IT made me feel awfully guilty
>But it helped me realize something.
>That pit in my stomach
>Wasn't guilt.
>I forced a giggle when she whispered this
>Even though i didn't feel like giggling, it was cute
>she needed to know it was cute
>Glasses even gave us the appropriate grin.
>She had managed to convince blondie she was winning the race by a fair amount
>I mean she was, but in different ways of course.

>We kept talking, Glasses busied herself gathering liquids for human consumption and listened in.
>These kinds of talks, they just happen when a relationship is starting out
>They're always different
>They're always about completely different things
>But they're always about the same thing
>It's a bit confusing
>You've had one in your past, or you'll have one in your future.
>Maybe a couple that never went too well and nothing great came of it.
>Maybe one that went perfectly
>But as we talked, atleast the guilt went away
>I felt better
>I liked feeling better
>We consummated this feeling better with a kiss
>It was a lovely kiss, i could tell glasses wanted in on it too
>She even asked
>Rather awkwardly i might add
>I was full-on-ready to give her one
>Until she winked



>Oh fuck she was being clever
>I backed out of the kiss
>Pretended i changed my mind
>Turned around right to blondie and said the words glasses was secretly feeding me through a microphone in my ear.
>"Sorry, kisses are off limits to everyone but Blondie"
>The mentioned girl was back to saluting me, a proud look on her face
>Humming the national anthem, i could see the reflection of the american flag in her eyes.
>Communism, had lost , Democracy had won.
>Red chinese victory, impossible.
>Communism, is the very definition of failure.
>Thanks to glasses, i now had enough points to get past the trash tier trinkets at the glass case, and go for one of those fancy electronic things behind the counter.


>So i gave glasses a hug and a pat on the back
>Winked back
>"Best i can do"
>Fuck i'm dying of laughter on the inside
>So bro
>But that was that, discussion over, kisses were off limits
>Wasn't even a bad compromise, but frankly i knew pushing anything that wasn't focused on blondie would just end badly.
>Was more of a trap than any kind of real benefit to myself.
>[spoiler]If anyone you're with ever agrees to let you touch other people, it's either a trap, or its hurting them and they won't admit it[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Unless they're personally involved too[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]I could make sure that happened[/spoiler]

>We streamed back into the living room, i ended up on the couch again, glasses plopped down beside me.
>Blondie sat down next to birthday and whispered something.
>She was trying to be quiet
>But not quiet enough
>Raven stiffened, visibly
>First real movement she'd made, which in itself was impressive
>But she was up and out of the room in half a second
>Gone
>It's not hard to guess what blondie was whispering
>Birthday looked happy at first until raven vanished, then it was just a sad look
>Blondie too
>Glasses too
>Me too.

>I didn't keep track of what happened, but blondie ended up between glasses and myself.
>Snuggling me again
>I guess she wanted to comfort me, or wanted me to comfort her for fucking up everything.
>I didn't shove her off, she made me feel better anyway
>Birthday glares at us
>But i shoot her an unhappyface and she allows it.
>It's back to cuddling i guess
>I just wish this other feeling would go away.
>Glasses gets up and follows raven
>Returns a couple minutes later, leading her by the hand
>Comb in the other
>Glasses is on the couch first
>Raven is forced onto her lap, and has her hair peacefully assaulted by the bristles.
>Which does the trick, even if she's trying to hide it.
>She's relaxed, soothed by the brushing.
>It makes me worry that glasses really can read minds
>Brings back memories even i've forgotten.


>Used to be something i did, years ago when i was just spending time with raven.
>Another one of those things we hadn't done in years, we grew up and it didn't happen anymore.
>My stomach hurt, right at the bottom.
>Just remembering those things brought back the realization that "friend" was no longer talking to me, or anyone really.
>Left me with a sad empty longing feeling
>Like i missed those days more than i knew
>Blondie was watching, and she pulled herself upright and whispered in my ear
>"Maybe you should be the one doing that"
>She was honest, trying to get me to re-extend bridges with raven
>She didn't know how right she was
>So i offered to take the comb and let raven sit on my lap
>I felt like it was foolproof, an easy way to win her back into the world of the talking
>She wanted more friendly physical intimacy, that was the only thing left
>That was what she wanted, right?
>Except she doesn't respond, Glasses had frozen waiting for it too.
>So i put my hand gently on raven's
>She snaps it away.


>Well that was it
>That was the last thing on my list of things she could possibly want
>I didn't realize that she was doing the same thing i was doing earlier.
>But i was lost myself
>So i asked
>"What do you want from me?"
>I tried to be as serious, as sincere, as emotionally invested as i could ever sound
>I wasn't sure why i tried to be this way, but i did
>No response, no reaction
>IT didn't matter what i sounded like
>But one thing changed
>The pit in my stomach felt worse
>Now i knew what it was


>Well... why it was
>You know, the girl i talked to all day every day for years not talking to me.
>Guess up till this point us fighting didn't seem real, wasn't setting in correctly.
>But now it was.
>But i didn't know what the feeling was, only that it hurt.
>A heavy weight, growing every time.
>I was still rather angry at her for attacking me, and my chin was probably bruised, but
>My stomach told me i had to try to smooth this out
>But realistically, my talking had done nothing to make this better
>I just had to wait for her to talk again
>She would talk
>She had to talk...
>Right?

>It didn't work out the way i wanted
>Never does
>Blondie decided she needed a nap, had woken up way too early to make breakfast and was dead tired.
>Said she was leaving to birthday's room, asked me to wake her up in an hour
>Can do boss
>Raven was slumped over against the pillow, relaxed and maybe sleeping
>Birthday still on the floor, glasses still brushing.
>We were rather relaxed, i figured now was as good a time as any to try to re-initiate contact
>Various probes sent
>Multiple languages, hoping one will meet a tangent of alien life.
>No responses
>):


>I wish i could say things were more interesting here
>But they really weren't
>I tried multiple times to get raven to talk to me, the other two girls tried too.
>It really just, wasn't going to happen
>And the pit wasn't going away.
>So i said fuck it, after maybe forty minutes
>I left the room
>Ended up wandering around the house
>Aimlessly
>No real thought
>Until i reached Birthday's room
>Stepped inside
>closed and locked the door behind me
>And turned to stare at the sleeping girl.
>My sleeping girl.
>Figured it was time i wake her up
>Like i wanted to this morning.


>Now normally i had a thing against molesting sleeping girls
>But i could put up a waiver because this one had already broken that rule on me.
>Fair turnaround
>I flipped up the covers
>She was adorable, sleeping with a little pout on her face
>Blonde hair a mess all over the pillows
>Shirt hiked up above her bellybutton
>That's fine, i didn't plan to disturb that
>With both hands i grab the edges of her panties and wiggle them down her legs
>She's got em bent, so it's a tad bit more wiggling than pulling.
>Really only takes a couple seconds of movement before they're off
>Discarded to the floor
>No need to do anything with them, not where i'm going



>I press my head between her legs, separating them enough for room to breathe
>And i get to eating her out
>Really i'm not going to go over what it's like, because i've told you already.
>But i can tell you her flavor was the same one i'd sampled earlier.
>Imperceptible, light. Like drinking flavored sparkling water.
>No sugar, only bubbly, with a hint of fruit you wouldn't know if the label didn't say so.
>It's not like i had any technique or anything, or magical plan for doing this
>It was just the way i wanted to wake her up.
>I wanted to imagine in my own little world that waking up to a blowjob must feel great
>So therefore waking up to the girl equivalent must be just as good.

>Well it's just never that simple is it

>It was rather fun at first
>Tons of things to do with my tongue, plenty of places to explore
>Delicious flavor
>But that all kind of came back to reality real quick
>Firstly the flavor went away, really just vanished after a minute or two.
>Then at minute 3-4, i realized i wasn't really able to get my tongue as deep was i wanted and was running out of ways to play the swirling game.
>About minute 6, i realized the only reason i liked playing with women was because of the reaction they give me.
>Minute 7, i forced myself to go on, expecting the grand awakening of the sleeping girl
>The face she'd make would make it worth it, assured.
>Minute 8, and 14 i think she actually had some mini-Os in her sleep.
>I couldn't tell for sure, but she shifted and tensed a bit
>I licked her for what must have been fifteen minutes.
>Then i gave up

>My tongue was sore and tired
>My mouth ached
>My back hurt from the angle i was in
>I gave up
>Had a semi- but i wasn't going to care
>I was done with this entire lewd-wakeup thing
>I got up, i was contemplating waking her up just like that, leaving her panty-less
>Maybe taking them with me
>But then i got an evil plan
>I grabbed her panties off the floor
>The lovely black-bunny ones.
>Stuffed em in my pocket
>And i walked over to Birthday's underwear drawer

>And by that i mean i searched the room for like four minutes trying to find it.
>Because fuck if i knew where she kept any of her clothing
>But i found it finally
>It was full of various unmentionables, and some very... uhh
>Lewd
>Objects that we're just not going to mention here.
>[spoiler]It's no secret that if you've ever been to a teenage female's room[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Any long, or even remotely phallic object has probably been inside of her at one point.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Women like to pretend they aren't just as sex-crazed as men, but they often are[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]From the typical hairbrush, to the often-requested sharpie. To even odd objects like rulers, umbrella handles, and vibrating toothbrushes[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]After a while they may find favorites, or they may keep looking[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But we can just say that i found where she kept her favorites[/spoiler]

>Either way, i pulled out a pair of blue panties
>The girls were about the same waist size, i figured they would fit.
>Then i spent a seriously painstaking three minutes trying to get them back on without waking her up.
>Success
>Threw the blanket back over her
>And left
>I just hoped she hadn't been pretending to be asleep the entire time.
>Would run all the fun
>Specially since i returned to the living room and mentioned offhand that someone should probably wake up blondie
>and that i "Didn't feel like doing it"
>I winked at glasses a couple times
>She would get the idea
>She did
>She got up and went to wake blondie
>Left raven sleeping
>So i left her to have the couch alone, she was talking up half of it anyway
>And i sat up front with Birthday

>I didn't actually have much time
>But i still had that burning question in the back of my mind
>Had to get it answered
>So i told her i had a question
>But i didn't ask it
>I put my hand on her leg
>No complaints so far, just a funny look
>Then i slid it all the way up her skirt.
>Skin all the way
>No panties
>I laughed
>I didn't have any intention of doing anything, but i just had to know
>Even offered her back her old pair.
>I was amassing a panty-army in my pockets
>But she refused
>Said she liked the "Breeze"
>I laughed, pulled my hand away and stood up.
>She was still a tease, even if she didn't really like me.



>I mentioned that we should start thinking about food again
>Lunch was rather light, even if delicious
>Birthday gets up, notes we should probably move to the other room to discuss it
>I agree, but take a couple seconds to grab a folded blanket in the corner and throw it partially over raven.
>Birthday stares
>It's a mixture of worry and understanding.
>Like its saying "Yeah i'm worried about her too"
>I'm not really worried about her myself
>But it's what the pit in my stomach told me to do, and felt better after i did it.
>I wish i had a couple more blankets to throw.
>We arrive to find a still groggy blondie half under the covers.
>Food is mentioned
>It's decided Birthday and Glasses are going to throw down some soup and toast.
>Simple, canned, yummy
>Blondie gets up and starts to move towards the door before stopping
>Looking down with a look of concentration on her face.
>Glasses and Birthday whisk off to whisk up some soup.
>Aka start a fire and wait

>I ask blondie how well she slept
>I get a "I had funny dreams" in return.
>Hahaha, i wonder what kind of "Funny" dreams
>I make sure to ask this question
>I get this long winded story
>">Well, i think i was in some kind of boat. Sailing on a huge lake or ocean, it was beautiful"
>">Crisp blue as far as the eye could see, but silly me i managed to hit the only rock for miles"
>">Boat kind of got a hole, and started taking on water"
>">But it was a nice warm day, the water was actually really nice, and i managed to get to land while bailing most of it out"
>">Only my pants got wet"
>Well
>Th...
>Well
>Yeah
>Ok
>[spoiler]Most women won't have erotic dreams if you lick them while they're sleeping.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Atleast none i've been with, because i've god damn tried[/spoiler]
>I'm rather dejected, but atleast i got her pants wet
>Right guys
>Right?




Sorry anons, something came up
I can't hold tonight's update, double next time i promise. .sat 8:00 for sure




Update #24 : May 3rd

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11569512



>No that's bullshit it didn't count for anything.
>But i smiled
>I made her boat leak
>giggled to myself a bit as i took her hand and led her out into the hallway
>Entire time she's asking me "what's so funny?"
>So i stop her, turn around
>Put on a shit-eating grin
>Reach into my pocket
>and pull out her panties
>Wag them right in-front of her face
>can't wait for her reaction
>I can see the blushing and laughter now.
>Except
>One problem
>I wasn't holding her bunny-rabbit panties
>I was holding birthday's from earlier
>Wrong pocket
>To blondie's perspective i had just pulled out another girl's panties and started waving them around.
>I bet in your mind i was dancing around like a monkey with both arms above my head too
>[spoiler]I might have been, but i'll never tell[/spoiler]


>That went over rather dramatically
>No screaming though
>No yelling, or hitting, or any of that
>But her eyes said plenty
>Lots of things, like her feeling "Cheated" at whatever i was doing with the other girls when she was asleep.
>Heartbreak
>Anger
>Crossed arms, she backs up against a wall and continues the glare.
>For once i don't have a snappy comeback to get out of this.
>So i just drop birthday's panties on the floor
>Reach into my other pocket and grab the other pair and pull them out
>Flash a cheesy smile
>She's not amused
>Not laughing
>Bloody hell, that's what i get.

>I resort to just pointing out the other panties were from the dare last night.
>"But why did you still have THEM?"
>I open my mouth to speak
>Raise my finger as if i've got a point
>I don't say anything
>I lower the finger
>Good question
>I don't have an answer for that, slipped my mind maybe
>hand on my chin, trying to think
>raise finger again
>lower it again
>There's no point in saying anything really
>No matter what i do, it's like ordering bacon at a jewish restaurant.
>Never going to come out well


>I just end up not saying anything, head towards the floor
>Blondie still leaning against the wall, arms crossed
>I'm ready for my beating now miss, just make it quick.
>Please.
>She speaks instead
>"Why... do you have my underwear?"
>It's back to her rather embarrassed tone of voice
>She makes it clear she had realized something was up with her outfit
>but couldn't figure out what
>and i had all the answers
>So i told her
>Which i expected her to find entertaining, or funny, or endearing or anything
>But she doesn't
>She's not amused
>She's angry
>Maybe because of the other underwear, maybe i had just soiled the mood entirely.
>But i watch her face
>Her eyes turn to cold-cut sapphires
>"You jerk!"
>Damnit Athena, why don't you just let me do the right thing for ONCE.


>"i was asleep, you big meanie!"
>I know, i know
>Fuck im sorry it was wrong and a breach of your trust and i'm retarded an-
>She interrupts me
>"No, i just...."
>She kinda trails off
>Back to blushing again i see
>u jus wat m8
>"I just wanted to know what i felt like..."
>Hoh boy, situation not even remotely as all-kinds-of-fucked-up as i thought it was.
>If there's one thing i can fix
>I mean it was my intention to continue after she woke up
>Take that girl to the candy shop
>Lick her like a lolipop
>I actually consider doing it right then and there in the hallway.
>Push her back against the wall, arms still crossed
>Kneel down
>Stare
>The cloth, attractively cloven down the middle.
>But i'm interrupted by yells from the kitchen about food being almost ready.


>Man, why does soup and toast have to be so easy to make
>Throw a couple cans in a pot, turn on the heat and throw bread in a toaster.
>Literally done in minutes
>We arrive in the kitchen looking like we had just done something naughty
>Nobody notices.
>Glasses is stirring a pot, Birthday flippin bread over.
>We get asked to set plates, so we grab spoons, mugs and a plate for five people.
>Dining room it is
>I call head of the table, for once
>Blondie sets her plate next to mine, which is confusing there's only one chair.
>I get winked at when i stare at the plate
>Fucking hell blondie
>You heard what birthday said
>Keep it in your pants
>In *Public*
>This is what my eyes told her
>And her eyes got all sad
>So her plate moved to one of the sides with a dejected little sigh
>Pot of soup ready, everyone piles into the dining room
>Except raven is missing


>Birthday goes to find her
>We start filling mugs and piling delicious toast in the mean time
>(Birthday buttered that toast up before toasting it, oh man it was so good)
>We're all sitting and crunching away on toast, waiting for birthday/raven
>Fuck saying prayer, or waiting for everyone
>Hungry teenagers give no fucks
>But when birthday returns, it's empty handed
>Raven isn't hungry, or is sleeping on the couch, or something
>Which i know instantly is a lie
>I doubt birthday is lying, but raven is.
>She's never "Not Hungry"
>She's always hungry, fast metabolism and all.
>But she just doesn't eat very big portions, it made her rather skinny.
>Always snacking on something
>I guess if she didn't want to eat, it meant she didn't want to eat with us.
>Painful realization, but i had plans to fix her attitude soon.
>I make it a note to store a mug and some toast in the fridge for her and sneak it in a covert message, she'd have to be hungry later.

>When i return to my plate of food though, i realize blondie's plate and mug are now next to mine.


>She's grinning
>She's on my lap
>But not really on my lap, more like straddling my leg with her crotch
>Not a very stable place to be sitting
>I can't see how it doesn't hurt her crotch or something, my legs are rather bony
>I shrug and wrap my left arm around her to keep her steady, use my right to eat my soup.
>Its clam chowder
>Not even that low quality tiny-tiny clams stuff, this one was like 50% Clams, 30% potatoes and the rest delicious
>But i was having a tough time concentrating fully on the food because i had to keep a firm hold of the girl that was acting very-much like a little-girl on my lap.
>She was kicking her legs randomly, and her weight was shifting everywhere
>Like holding on to a bustling toddler
>Hell, the fuck was she doing down there.
>Without any pretense at all, i don't even drop my spoon or anything
>I just duck my head under the table


>Samurai foot wars
>Glasses is trying to play footsie with me, and blondie is deflecting her blows
>Like, circular kicks that look like they actually hurt, and because blondie's legs are out farther glasses can't get past without sustaining serious injuries.
>Looks like she's lost many troops
>Probably even going to have a limp for the rest of the day.
>I raise my head above the table again and watch both scenes unfold
>Glasses has no expression on her face, she's eating her soup like nothing's happening
>Reminds me of some kind of monk who fights while holding a bottle of alcohol and never spills a drop even though he does backflips and things.
>But she's giving it away slightly, her hand is shaking and dropping soup
>Not a master monk yet i guess
>I watch and listen to a huge thwack
>very audible
>blondie managed to hit her ankle directly against glasses, frankly im pretty sure both of them would be limping after that.
>Blondie takes a gasp of air in as this happens
>Glasses visibly grits her teeth
>I applaud blondie's bravery, that's like headbutting the ball in soccer
>Awesome, but not ever worth the pain.
>So i give blondie's stomach a pinch, and she stops kicking
>I whisper the request in her ear to stop fidgeting and she goes limp
>Glasses' battered troops of toes find solace in my own
>Blondie's toes find solace in my other set of toes
>All is good in the world
>Except for my stomach, which is killing me.


>I really wish it would go away, but contact from both the girls seems to be soothing it far more than one.
>It's relaxed like that, we start joking and playing
>I really enjoy the girl's laughter
>Its a sound i had almost forgotten, it soothes everything i was feeling.
>Softens it all, made me smile.
>Back to the usual sleepover antics.
>Well, until we hear another loud boom from outside.
>The thunder is back
>Its raining again.
>Birthday curses and says she hopes the power doesn't go out, blondie visibly jumps half a foot and lands on my leg when the explosion happens.
>Glasses doesn't seem too shaken, i think she loves when it rains.
>Frankly it wouldn't have struck me as odd if she had said "Jinkies" right then. She was always the rather reasonable one.
>I didn't mind the rain and thunder, but i knew someone who did.
>With the clouds outside, and the drop of the sun, it started getting real dark real quick.
>Which means lights need to go on to see.
>I had finished my soup, so i grabbed the last plate, piled toast on it and filled a cup.
>Gave blondie a polite pick up, and place down on my warm seat
>And went off to the kitchen to wrap it up and put it in the fridge.
>The kitchen was bright, but the living room was rather dimer than it usually was

>So i grabbed some rope, the miner's hat we had on a nearby rack
>And i went spelunking
>Which meant i really went feeling around in the dark for raven, i didn't want to wake her up if she was actually sleeping.
>Turning on the light ya-know, even though we would probably want the living room back eventually.
>It's not too dark, and most the house was dim during the day anyway.
>Doesn't take more than a couple seconds to find her, sitting on the couch curled up against an armrest
>Rather half draped over it, staring at the Television.
>Which was off
>Eyes just staring
>Come on raven, don't be all spooky like this
>I let her know i left a plate of food for her in the fridge
>grab her hand and give it a squeeze
>trying to be the good ol-comfort i used to be in a thunder storm.
>She pulls her hand away, slowly but with force
>Not having any of that
>I grab it again harder this time


>Firm grip, she's not getting away
>She starts squirming
>Hand on mine, trying to pull my fingers off
>The kind of situation any other girl would be screaming "Let go!"
>But she wasn't

>I was hoping she would atleast say something if i grabbed her like this, but not a word.

>She was silent, not even a squeak.
>So i use my leverage to pull her upwards, arms raised above her head and to her feet off the couch
>Still struggling
>I start dragging her, she's digging her heels in to stop me but i know we both need to have a long firm talk
>Eventually the heels stop resisting and she follows me
>Her two hands still on mine, as if begging me to stop
>A silent physical scream


>Eventually i've dragged her to the bathroom ,forced her inside and closed the door behind me
>I flip on the light and open my mouth
> turning to try to have a firm talk with her about how childish she's being.
>I'm stopped
>Cold
>Not by her, but by my eyes
>The bathroom is well lit, birthday did a great job in replacing the light
>It's one of those high-wattage ones that are illegal now
>But it's a curse, not a blessing
>Because the way raven's staring straight forward, looking at the mirror away from me.
>Lets me see her neck

>Crisscrossing it are blotches of red, and white
>And worse
>Bruises, of darker skin
>Blues, Purples, Yellows
>Places where fingers had been, places where i had squeezed
>How had i not noticed these
>How had nobody noticed these
>I'm frozen staring
>She's frozen staring at her own reflection
>She's known all day
>But we didn't have many of the lights on, birthday never got around to fixing the one in the living room where we were all day.
>You can't see bruises in a dim room with only the TV
>The blue green glow hides them
>or we weren't looking at her like we should have been.
>My mouth is dry
>I realize how badly my own throat hurts.
>Just another ache i had been ignoring all day
>I realize how badly hers must feel


>Have you ever seen someone who has been recently strangled anon?
>[spoiler]You may know of similar scenes from crime shows, murder mysteries or other such dramas on television[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]It's rather visible, it's rather messy. It's rather going to get you in a load of absolute shit[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The act of squeezing breaks countless blood vessels in the soft tissues of the neck, causes minor internal bleeding and leaves bruising and marks for days, if not weeks.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Not to mention how painful it is later, making it hard to speak, laugh or even swallow[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]It's like having the worst strep throat you've ever had. [/spoiler]
>[spoiler]And the bruises hadn't shown up instantly, like anything they took a day to really bare themselves[/spoiler]
>But it all made sense


>Why she wasn't talking to me
>What she was struggling with all day
>Why she didn't want to eat toast and soup.
>It didn't make complete sense, but i thought it all pieced together so much more than what picture i had before
>I'm truthfully speechless
>But i manage
>"Oh my god..."
>I can't say it was any other emotion than worried, scared.
>Could she even talk
>Was it so swollen that she couldn't say a word
>Was this all my stupid fault
>Was i really this fucking retarded to not notice

>Had she just been silently in pain all day?
>Was i really treating her for acting like a child when it was just me being a child that caused this?
>I'm throwing a million questions back and forth in my head

>It was all my fault, i step towards her
>I put my hand out, to touch her neck
>I don't know what i'm thinking, to comfort her, to caress it with the back of my hand and try to figure out something to do.
>I can't imagine any solution
>Wrapping it in gauze would cause just as many questions as any other girls seeing her as soon as we turned on lights.
>Do i use alcohol, do we take her to the hospital
>If she can't speak this is really bad
>The back of my fingers make contact
>And the girl in front of me roars
>"DON'T"
>My hand is slapped away with an amazing amount of force
>It bangs and clatters right into the glass sliding door of the shower
>Reverberating off it as my knuckles make a hard contact and a huge bang
>It REALLY hurts
>It's only a second, but i have my hand held in my other and i'm wincing in pain
>I drop to my knees
>I swear to god she's broken something it hurts that bad
>she screams
>"TOUCH ME"
>I'm looking up at her
>Her hand coming around in an arc, straight for my face

>I watch in slow motion as it comes closer ,and closer
>Not curved into a slap, it's contorted into a claw
>Three fingers, three sharp fingernails
>Her face contorted into rage
>Hurt
>and a mixture of things i couldn't read, but wished dearly i would never see again
>Then the slow motion gets even slower
>Her hand is frozen in time, her face, her movements
>Right before impact
>I tense up, try to lean backwards and avoid it
>But i can't escape, i'm at the wrong angle and far too slow
>But it never comes
>She's stopped
>Moments away from hitting me
>Frozen, in real time
>Her face a startling replica of what a true valkyrie must look like
>Until her hand drops, and she barges out of the bathroom
>My muscles collapse
>I fall backwards
>Everything hurts
>Mostly from tensing my muscles leaned backwards like i was doing
>And that pit in my stomach?

>It's split, fragmented
>Some pieces moved higher, some lower.
>Everything from my abdomen to my navel lurched, rolled and tumbled
>Squeezed and tensed, released and hurt.
>Like my intestines were writhing around
>dozens of agitated snakes.
>everything fucked up beyond reason doesn't even begin to explain the range of feelings i was experiencing.
>First on my mind was the knuckles
>They hurt like hell, but as far as i could tell with various squeezes and prods they were alright
>Nothing broken i hoped
>Then i lurched to my feet
>a couple thoughts crossed my mind, most of them at the same time.
>She could talk, that's good
>Although it probably hurt to say anything at all
>And on that note, i was the only one she had been talking to
>What does that even mean
>Not to mention i was now going to be disemboweled when anyone turns on the lights with her in a room
>It doesn't take a genius to put the scratches on my arms together with the hand marks on her throat
>Atleast i didn't think it did
>I don't have any way to explain my way out of this
>I don't know if i want to explain my way out of this


>I don't even know how to help her, or what she even wants from me
>I realize that maybe everything i've been doing, trying to get back in her good graces is wrong
>That she truly doesn't want me in her life and is just biding time until this party is over.
>That thought does backflips in my head
>Over and over
>Getting worse every spin
>I can't bear
>Considering the signals she's giving me, it's all i have to go on
>So i stumble out of the bathroom, head in a haze
>Have to find her
>Wherever she is
>But i'm not going to talk to her
>Me talking has in no way made this situation any better at any of the eleventeen points i've tried
>I start my search around the house again
>I assume she's hidden herself in some room somewhere

>Birthday's room, nope
>I even check under the bed
>Guest room
>Office
>Master Bedroom
>Master Bath
>Laundry room
>Kitchen
>Dining room
>She's not in any of these places
>I check the living room, only 3 girls there playing video games.
>Fucking fuck where is she
>Front door is still closed, and has that chain lock still on, so no way she went out that way.
>There's a bunch of other rooms that i checked that were rather unimportant, closets, cabinets and everything i could imagine.
>I give up, its pouring outside, there's no hint or clue as to where she could be.
>Except
>She wouldn't.
>I rush to the back of the house and try to peer out of the glass door
>I can't see anything


>Absolutely pitch black
>I search around for a light or something, find a switch but it does nothing
>I find one inside, it lights up the room i'm in
>A small amount of light floods outside
>It's really raining heavily again, i can hear it pattering and pummeling the patio deck
>And i can see a silhouette
>I open the glass door
>It's pretty fucking obvious by the blast of chilly air that it's freezing cold rain
>Really had a string of fantastically cold storms that year
>But i brave it and step outside
>It is freezing cold rain
>I'm soaked before i even get both feet out the door
>But i rush across the patio to the table and chairs we sat at earlier
>There's a girl with her head down against the table
>I hope its not mine, just any lost girl from the neighborhood would be a thousand times better than one that's going to hit me the second anyone tries to move her.
>I get close enough to make out the hair color
>Wet, sticking to her like a plastered wig
>Jet Black


>She'll freeze out here
>Or get really sick
>I look around the patio
>No umbrellas
>No cover
>Just more chairs
>Alright fuck it
>I pull up a chair and sit as close to her as i dare
>I know she knows i'm there, but i announce it anyway
>"I'll sit here, till you talk to me"
>I'm not sure any kind of emotion can get through over the sound of the rain
>But it was there
>It's silent for a while, i put my head down too
>It's less cold this way
>Even though its colder than chewing spearmint gum and drinking ice water at the same time.
>Or that girl you tried to date in highschool.
>Pick whichever one was colder
>Then she speaks
>"Then we both freeze"


>Yes, perfect
>A joke!
>Or wait
>that's a threat isn't it
>Or maybe it's a statement
>Because i can tell she's shivering, i can see her shaking
>I'm soaked as well
>I can feel that prickly sensation as goosebumps begin to cover your entire body
>arms and legs first
>Hair stands up on end, trying to trap more warmth against you.
>Then came the shivering
>Soft at first
>Little tiny shakes
>Then comes the uncontrollable ones
>Then the teeth chattering
>Clacking together as your muscles spasm and try to warm themselves up.
>I was a real teeth-clacker when i was freezing cold

>I'm pretty sure she could hear it
>But i sit like that with her for another couple of minutes
>Until i can't feel my hands


>This is stupid
>If i can't feel my hands, she's probably numb everywhere.
>Or just can't feel anything anymore
>So i make a bet with myself
>A bet that she can't even move to hit me if i try to move her
>So i stand up
>And i didn't realize how fucking cold i was until i stood up
>But my legs were stiff
>Actually hard to move stiff
>[spoiler]Being immersed in rather cold water for even 10 minutes can wreak havoc on your internal body temperature, especially if that water is continually cooling itself[/spoiler]
>But i had willpower
>Or angerpower
>I might have been willing myself to be angry again at how stupid this was.
>But i begged her as loudly as i could not to hit me
>Beant over
>Deadlifted Raven, that stupid girl
>From her chair, into my arms
>I'm not actually sure how i managed that
>Frankly i'm not a strong guy
>But it happened
>Power of friendship or some of that shit
>Or you know it was cold and the faster i dragged her ass back inside the faster i could get warm
>primitive survival maternal instincts kicking in.
>You can pretend its the friendship one if you want.

>I was right though, she couldn't hit me
>Or didn't try
>But eleven steps later we were inside
>and two steps later i collapsed and dropped her
>You can pretend i tripped and fell, but i didn't
>My knees gave out, they just stiffened up and stopped working
>She fell a good three feet to the floor
>I made sure i didn't fall on top of her
>But i hit the ground just as hard
>No time to be hurt though
>Or shocked
>This stupid girl is trying to crawl out the door
>I try to yell at her but my throat is stiff, nothing but air comes out
>All i've got is my arms and head near her leg
>So i grab it
>I'm holding on with all my strength
>And she's kicking
>Which i'm not able to resist in my cold state
>Which means she's escaping
>Fuck
>I do the only thing i can think of
>I throw my head forwards
>And bite her ankle


>She's loud, a yelp
>I get kicked off
>I'm not sure i've done anything useful
>Until i hear multiple pairs of footsteps come running our way
>What a fucking scene we were
>soaked to the bone, one of us crawling outside and the other trying to stop them.
>When you think back to stupid shit that you did as teenagers
>those fucking alcohol induced moments of shame your friends find you in and bring up to make things awkward later in the future?
>That's the kind of scenario this was, and neither of us had had a damn drop to drink.
>Glasses being the smart one, closed the glass door
>Raven didn't get up
>Just kind of clawed at the door once and stopped trying
>I would mention that blondie and birthday were screaming
>But i don't want to tell you that for a bunch of reasons
>Mostly because i can't remember a damn thing they said
>Secondly because they were screaming and i didn't care
>The important thing was that glasses closed the door
>Could rest in pieces in peace down here on the floor

>I'm kinda out of it, i think i'm good with not doing anything
>Too cold to do anything
>Shivering
>Probably delirious
>But next thing i know i'm being forced to sit up and blondie is ripping my shirt off
>Blondie not now plz, i'm probably shriveled up like those straw covers when you put em in your back pocket because you feel bad about dropping them on the floor even though they're biodegradable and it doesn't really matter too much and you'll just find them and throw them somewhere dumb in your house later.
>Well look at that, birthday is doing the same thing to raven
>Hi raven
>I wave at raven in my head
>Her shirt comes off
>Hi raven's tits
>I wave at those too
>Birthday is saying things
>I hear the words "Sauna"
>Awesome, i didn't even know we had saunas in los angeles
>We don't

>2Spooky


>They start dragging us
>Leaving huge wet puddles the entire way
>Go over some carpets, get rugburn
>Some slippery floors
>Master bedroom again, leave a soaking puddle across the entire thing
>Master bathroom, dragged inside, door closed
>Sure like our privacy with everyone in the same bathroom eh?
>I've actually got no clue why they closed the door
>and Birthday moves to the shower and starts fiddling with some metal cup thing in the corner of the shower
>I saw it before but had no clue what it was, thus ignored it
>No time to watch what she does though
>Because blondie attacks me with a towel
>Through gaps in her assaulting my hair, upper chest and face, i can see raven is getting the same treatment from glasses.
>And then my pants are off
>Not wearing those boxers anymore
>Great

>Yeah i'm shriveled up and soaking everywhere
>Leave me alone
>Except unlike my horror mind fantasies
>Nobody laughed
>Until blondie attacked my stomach with a towel
>I was cold, but that tickled
>I was giggling and embarrassed as she proceeded to rub down anything and everything she could get a towel near
>Except it really wasn't very funny
>I was still freezing
>Plus something is hissing like a god damn snake
>It's not raven, who's not even struggling it looks like
>She's just staring off into the distance as she gets an embarrassing naked towel-down just like me.
>Is it birthday?
>I look over and birthday is standing over in the shower, surrounded by steam
>Oh, it's that little metal cup thing
>It makes steam
>Neat
>Steam is warm
>Steam is good
>Praise Gaben

>I'm back on my feet again
>Not my choice
>blame the blonde girl
>don't blame her though, she's nice
>She put me in the shower, warm water was turned on
>Black hair girl put here too.
>Warm
>Competent thoughts returning

>I can look around without failing to pass intelligence checks with my thoughts again.
>Firstly i can look at the other three girls
>Birthday who's actually undressed
>Blondie who's topless and glasses who is pantless
>I would make some snappy comment about it being harem time or something
>Very similar to that shower scene from that anime we saw earlier that week
>But i was still a little cold
>Which was probably going to change by the looks of things

>The bathroom was actually rather steamy, it was like wisps of steam and things were clouding just the right bits of vision as i watched everyone undress.
>The one i was interested with was actually birthday
>Who was the only one i hadn't "Seen" naked yet.
>She was smooth shaven, but not really hairless smooth
>It was more stubble, like five-o-clock shadow

>[spoiler]Women don't really get smooth without waxing, or electrolysis[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Which one hurts like hell and the other is permanent[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Real women just don't tend to be smooth like your chinese cartoons anons[/spoiler]
>She was also rather puffy, an innie, but it stuck out quite a bit.
>I'm not sure i was aroused
>but interested for sure
>Least until she caught me staring
>And blondie caught me staring
>I don't think glasses saw, and raven was just staring off into the distance and hogging most the hot water.
>Some things never change

>Besides making my best effort to crab tunnel out, blondie was still half naked and halfway across the room before i could blurt out
>"Come on she's shaved, its neat ok!"
>I'm not even joking
>Its cool alright
>all the other vaginas in the room are covered in various hues of jungles
>You can't really look at naked unshaven women from a distance, it obscures the form, the figure.
>It's why spying on your nextdoor neighbor's mom is sexy, because it leaves so much to the imagination.
>And why seeing the daughter undressing upstairs in her room is just hot
>It's the same reason women wearing clothes are often so much more attractive than women without.
>Your imagination fills in exactly what it wants.
>Birthday's crotch?
>That was hot
>Glasses over there, who was for all the thoughts in the world i could understand, was posing as she undressed.
>That crotch was sexy.


>In reality, this depends on if you want to have sex with said crotch too

>And hygiene, and various other things.

>But you know, we're talking male mind, viewing from a distance kind of thing ya-know.

>I can't go over the intricate details of this with your right now anons

>there's four naked women all piling into this rather spacious shower stall with me

>It seems to have been the sentiment that technically i'd seen all of them naked.

>They all knew this

>Only Glasses knew the truth

>Raven was simply silent, staring off under the hot water

>thinking during a hot shower

>Blondie and Birthday were just imagining all the other girls were whores.

>Probably

>But it was a shower with naked women right

>It's got to be a great big grope/soap/rubadubdub with a rubber ducky in the tub fest.

>right?



>Nope
>Remember how i was talking about 2 person showers being logistical nightmares?
>Now how the hell are you going to get five people under a single shower head?
>Don't tell me "By all huddling in a big writhing mass and hugging the boy"
>Because although that would be awesome for me, that would be pretty gay for all the girls
>Now you're thinking "Oh well girls love to get all soapy and hug in the showers"
>But that's the corporate media brainwashing you
>Imagine you and three other men hugging in a hot soapy shower trying to fit under a nozzle with one girl in the huddle
>If your gaydar doesn't scream, it might be broken
>And this was 2005 anyway, being gay wasn't socially acceptable yet.
>Or Bi, or any of that
>We settled on the only possible solution
>We took turns
>That's how real men do it.


>Which, to be honest wasn't too bad
>After raven was done hogging the shower, we each kind of took turns.
>Because of the awesome steam nozzle thing, the shower was rather warm.

>Hot even
>Sweaty even
>It was a sauna
>Which is interesting because honestly i'd never been in a sauna before.
>We all ended up lined against the tile wall
>It was cool, soothing on our backs
>Really a stark contrast to the hot steam filling the rest of the room.
>We talked
>About nothing really, while waiting in turn for the shower
>It was the most casual thing, a room full of naked teenagers and it wasn't sexually charged
>I do admit i had a boner
>But it was an innocent semi
>Pretty naked women? I'm not going to pretend that's not enjoyable on a mental level.

>But physical contact was far, and scant if any.
>Blondie brushed against my arm a couple times with her breasts, possibly intentional, i don't know.
>But she wasn't hugging me, or cuddling.
>She knew the rules, and so did i.
>A full commitment was what she was thinking of.
>I wouldn't get this from any other girl.
>That sinking in my stomach
>I want to tell her how i'm feeling
>Make her understand.
>But we weren't too sure of one another yet
>and there wasn't really much other physical contact.
>Besides glasses seemingly washing everyone's back.
>Which was innocent enough i guess.


>The real big thing that happened first was blondie.
>She found a razor, a blue and green one.
>One of those single blade disposables at the time.
>Then she confronted me, face to face
>"Hey... storybro... do you like shaven better?"
>She saw me staring
>Blushing is an understatement
>Even her eyes were the color of a sky at sunset.
>It was rather cute, offering to change her appearance to suit me.
>But i wasn't sure what i liked
>I was about to comment something to this effect, when she's stopped by birthday
>A couple words changed her mind real quick
>"That's my dad's razor"
>Blondie took one look at it
>Squealed "Eww!" and dropped it.
>It skittered off into the corner.
>Birthday is really good at making people drop things.


>Laughter was had
>Everyone except raven, still mindlessly staring off into the distance
>I wanted to reach out to her, try to make her chat with us, laugh.
>I couldn't even remember what she sounded like when she was laughing.

>I get out of the shower, i guess it's raven's turn
>I lean against the wall near her
>Raise my arm, i'm contemplating touching her.
>Somehow
>Not sure how
>But i just w....
>I see my wrists
>The gauze wrapped around them is red
>Bloody
>The steam broke the scabs and its bleeding freely
>right.
>I drop my arm and turn back towards the women in the shower.
>They noticed too i'm sure
>But i mean it was in the shower, which is supposedly good for cuts like that.
>So i strike up conversation with blondie about nothing
>Which quickly turns into something
>About us
>no blondie you know better


>The bad part is glasses joins in
>And then birthday
>And all of a sudden it's about how far we've gone, and what we plan to do after the sleepover ends
>and all kinds of important things that probably would be fine if not for she-who-must-not-be-startled
>Then blondie mentions something about sex
>And about how she's not on any birth control so we can't
>I'm too busy trying to tiptoe around the wailing to notice
>Don't they fucking know how to listen to the spawning sounds
>Birthday points out the condoms are in the top drawer of the parent's bedstand.
>And that's when the black-haired girl in the shower freezes
>And turns towards me
>God damnit francis.
>YOU HAVE STARTLED THE WITCH
>ABORT ABORT
>EJECT

>Then she proceeded to start screaming and maul all us four survivors with her claws
>But she doesn't.
>She just rushes out of the shower
>I throw up my arms in fear
>and she hugs me
>Right up against the wall
>It's a rather odd hug
>Everyone's staring and there's a couple glaring problems
>One, my arms are up in the air and she's keeping me from putting them down
>Two, my semi hasn't been a semi for the last 5 minutes (sex talk, what do you expect), and is a full-mast boner between her legs
>Three, she makes a very loud sigh of contentment as she hugs me.
>I don't mind at all, not even in the slightest
>Any physical contact she initiates is good right?
>But that's not how my life works anons
>If i had just said something
>Anything
>Everything would have been fine.
>But that's not how my life works.

>Blondie stepped behind us, saw the boner.
>Yes, it was happily nestled between raven's legs
>And Blondie was one thing
>Jealous
>Her hand went to raven's shoulder and she pulled back, not hard.
>I always tell myself she didn't pull hard.
>It was accompanied by words

>They almost proved she had no malice, no negative intent.
>"Hey! I... get to do it first"
>Blondie was bright red as she said this, but i didn't see the bright red for long.
>Because as she pulled back, Raven wasn't expecting it
>She slipped
>Fell right on her butt in the corner of the slippery shower.
>Banged her head a little against the tile, not too hard, but enough to hurt.
>And blondie, who was half-way to straddling me the way raven was a second before
>Just turned and stared.


>Raven was looking up at blondie
>Tears in her grey eyes.
>She opens her mouth, as if to say something.

>"We had... s...s..."
>She's quiet again, like she wanted to say it but couldn't bring herself to
>"I gave him... my ...."
>Again she stopped
>It's like she wanted to scream it out to blondie
>Glasses knew
>I knew
>The entire room was staring at the scene before us
>But she didn't say it
>She couldn't bring herself to ruin what was obviously making me happy
>She just didn't have it in her, made her last action as a real /bro/
>Then she turned towards me
>She tried one last time
>"I..."
>Silence
>"I........."
>Then she just got up, turned around and ran away.
>No tears, no crying. Nothing but the echo of her footsteps.
>She didn't make it very far, slid on a puddle on the tile floor and knocked herself forward
>took a hard tumble, and was up again and running, door opening to the master bedroom
>Those were the last words i heard her say.


>Blondie knew she fucked up
>She was out the door and after raven before anyone could say anything
>I tried to follow, i felt like it was important i follow
>Except eris had thrown her golden apple of discord
>and i slipped on that same patch of soap Raven had hit.
>My feet went off the ground
>There was that lovely second
>That one where you're in midair, you know there's nothing you can do
>Just enough time to scream, but you don't
>You just think to yourself
>Fuck
>And then i hit the ground.

>Unlike raven, i landed flat on my back
>Hit my head pretty hard, enough to make everything ring
>Everything silent
>No big deal, raven had been silent all day
>I got to stare at the ceiling
>Count my lucky stars for not landing on that razor, wherever it was
>Since i figured it had landed in the corner i was in.


>Couldn't really see the ceiling
>Obscured by foggy steam really
>But the silence was nice for once
>I think water was falling on my leg, one of the girls was bending over trying to make sure i was alive or something.
>No big deal, i could just calmly watch them.
>Don't need to hear anything, feel, anything.
>Until Glasses and birthday jumped
>Something loud had happened somewhere in the house
>It wasn't long until blondie came back
>Crying
>Loudly, i couldn't hear it. But the vibrations of a crying girl carry through the air softly.
>She came to my side, and bent over me
>And i could see her face.
>That's when the sound came back.
>I heard her crying
>And she turned her head
>She had three bloody scratches down the side of her cheek.

>I was up
>Across the room
>I didn't slip on a damn thing
>Rolling up my invisible sleeves
>The other girls behind me probably giving medical attention to blondie
>I simply walk over and put back on my soaking wet sweatpants
>I don't know why
>I don't care why
>But i feel like i need pants on to properly kick someone's ass.
>And i'm across the house
>I'm trailing blood from my wrists the entire way
>I don't care
>I spend my time, checking every room
>Thorough, like some kind of psychotic murderer
>Everything i checked before, but in reverse.
>Must have been 10 minutes, or more, or less.
>I didn't know.
>But i found where she was hiding
>Birthday's room, light still on
>Door locked
>I bang on the door, three loud times with my fist.


>No response
>No sounds
>Nothing
>I have a bad feeling
>Just a whisper
>It's in my ghost.
>So i pull back
>I take a running start
>and i smash shoulder first into the door.
>It's kinda like the last time i tried

>But different
>My shoulder doesn't hurt, or maybe it's just numb
>Maybe everything's numb
>But i hear cracking
>Splintering
>Like
>It was working
>So i try again
>And again
>Three times i smash into the door
>And three times it gets looser

>Until it's the fourth
>Then the metal segment that holds the door knob-lock-part in the door gives away
>I broke the doorframe and not the door
>The door flings itself open
>I follow
>That's when i find her
>Lying in the middle of the hardwood floor

>Her lifeless emerald eyes staring up
>The true color returned.
>That's when i found her lying in a puddle of her own blood
>Wrists slit
>Razorblade
>In her limp hand.


>That's when i realized
>My great discovery, my moment of clarity.
>What that sinking feeling, in the pit of my stomach was
>Thats when it rose up
>Higher and higher until it reached my chest
>A pressure i was trying to escape, trying not to confront.
>That was the moment
>When i realized what i had told you all before
>When i realized why i didn't know, until that last moment.
>Why she was acting the way she did
>Because it all made sense
>Because of the greatest rule of life.
>[spoiler]You only know what you had, when its lost[/spoiler]




>That was the moment i realized
>She wasn't clingy.
>She wasn't psychotic
>I had Almost died,
>Started to pull away
>Scaring her i was leaving
>And she realized she loved me.
>So she tried to hold on and made things worse
>Changed the dynamic
>From two friends, to a shattered shell of itself
>It wasn't that she was right for the way she acted
>It's just that in my eyes, i understood why.
>I would have done them too.

>I understood that i loved her.


>That feeling in my stomach
>Now in my chest
>Centered over my heart
>I knew what it was now
>I told you what heartbreak feels like anons, what kind of pain that is.
>The stabbing, the burning, the icy tendrils of pain throughout your nervous system.
>This was that, and more
>My head hurt, burning, aching, a pressure that tried to willed me forcefully to one knee.
>My muscles burned, my heart ached, my very essence.
>My soul, whatever mystical attachment that was.
>If i could pinpoint it for you, it was on fire.
>this wasn't heartbreak anons.
>This was...
>Lovebreak

>That sounds like something someone's made up
>A word that doesn't exist
>But there's a difference.

>Heartbreak is what happens when exactly that
>Someone
>Something
>Some event, breaks your heart
>It hurts, it burns.

>But it's nothing as bad as when it's all your fault
>When everything you did is the direct cause of the pain you've created
>And nothing you ever do will fix it.
>When you had so many chances and took none of them.
>This isn't just your heart anons, it's every positive aspect of your being.
>Hurting
>Because you blame yourself.
>Because you're the one at fault.
>Because you'll know that for the rest of your life.

>I take a step forward with the only foot i have on the ground
>From across the room, it's obvious
>She's motionless
>No twitches, no breathing
>I can see the bruising on her neck.
>The telltale signs of my abuse
>My torment, that caused this.
>It didn't matter what i said
>Or claimed
>There was a dead girl here, with my finger marks all over her throat
>as far as the cops were concerned, i killed her.
>I was an abuser far worse than her father.
>As far as i was concerned
>they were right.


That's all for tonight Anons. We'll have more sunday, 8:00 PST. Short update probably.



Update #25 : May 4th

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11582143


>WHELP, time to make like a banana and kill myself.
>Or rather that's the choice i've made.
>The sublimation of all options here, the right one is to take
>In this case it was the easiest
>Oftentime it's not, oftentime it's the toughest choice you'll ever make
>But when you've made all the choices up to that point, it's tougher to live with them.
>I stumble forward, mind in a haze of thought.
>Towards the same blade that took my best friend's life.

>Now Anons.
>I realize that no story is complete without an ending.
>Just like no story is complete without a beginning
>So before i tell you how my best friend and i ended up lying on that cold hardwood floor.
>Drenched in our own blood.

>I'll tell you where we met.
>Because every story needs a beginning.
>and it should always come before the end.


>I'd love to say i had a rather typical childhood, but that was far from the truth.
>I was problematic in many ways
>Most of it is rather insignificant, unimportant details that don't matter.
>But there were a couple things that changed the person i would always be, and a couple that changed the person that i always was.
>One of these was that during my young childhood, i got sick
>Very sick, deathly ill
>I was prescribed antibiotics, some of those harsh ones they don't like to use anymore.
>They saved my life. As they are intended.
>If you ask a classroom of students how many were sick when they were younger, took antibiotics and wouldn't be around today without them?
>It's an amazing revelation when you count.
>I'll just say that i was one of them.
>But i was too young, prescribed medications far too strong and given dosages wrong for my age.
>There were consequences, my gastrointestinal system was wiped nearly clean.


>All those digestion organisms that let us eat food, the ones i had were completely wiped out
>This happened when i was very little, but it ruined my stomach
>I couldn't eat foods i had loved before, entire swaths of menus were off limits and even things such as my metabolism changed over time.
>Now i'm not telling you this so you'll feel bad for me, or emphasize with my situation or something.
>Nobody gives a shit about those things.
>That's the honest god damn truth, nobody cares about how hard your childhood was.
>I'm telling you because it changed the kind of person i was
>We bought fancy pro-biotics from health food stores, i was fed a healthy diet of various crazy things.
>My metabolism came back stronger than ever.
>I was skinny, in a family predisposed towards rather "Big Boned" individuals, i was a twig.
>I wasn't ever very tall, always the same height (or a tiny bit taller) as all the women i knew. I guess two years of fucked metabolism does this to you.
>I was also sick all the time for a good while.
>And this made me antisocial, i had few friends
>I was a jerk to the ones i did have because i took out being sick on them.
>Then i had no friends.
>And without friends there's really only one thing that happens
>I hated school
>I HATED school.



>PreK, Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd
>All of them were different schools entirely. I went school to school every year until we ran out.
>Then we moved, different climate supposed to be "Good" for me.
>It was, it really was
>California, warm and sunny.
>I was enrolled in a fancy school, some kind of private place that i don't remember the name of.
>That doesn't matter either
>What matters is that we moved, lovely huge house in the middle of los angeles.
>My family was middle class when we moved, back before that monetary caste vanished.
>Neighborhood full of people i'd never met.
>Huge, friendly, not too high a chance of getting kidnapped or having a cap popped in my ass if i roamed around alone.
>But i didn't know anyone
>So i still had no friends, and still didn't want to have any friends.
>The self propagating cycle so many of us know.
>Because it's easier to pretend its not your fault, than to change yourself.

>My parents made friends though
>Every neighbor on the block knew them, ends up the entire neighborhood was ripe with children of different ages.
>Middle of summer, kids in the streets.
>But one serious problem
>No boys my age.
>Not a single one
>There was one 5 years older, and one three years younger.
>The entire rest of the neighborhood was too young, too old, or females
>And at that age, boys and girls don't mix
>But we were invited by the various parents to a fireworks celebration for 4th of july.


>It was out on some giant field somewhere
>Big potluck, bring food, spread out a ton of blankets and everyone joins from the neighborhood and eats.
>With a bunch of girls, or so i was told by my parents
>All of them were older or younger, so i didn't give a shit.
>And as expected when the time came to walk, we piled all our food and things in a green plastic wagon and started off as a neighborhood-type group.
>Lots of little girls, an older girl or two.
>Nobody my age here either.
>):

>We get to the field, set up huge blankets and tons of food
>During the setup i smell a kettle corn stall off in the distance and i beg for money to get some
>I mean who doesn't love kettle corn
>So i get some dosh from me mum, and head off.
>Pop into line
>and to my amazement, i'm behind three other boys who seem to be about my age.
>all wearing various t-shirts with silly logos and kahiki shorts.
>I'm not a sperg, so i said hi.
>Bam, wham, instant brothers in arms.
>Funny how that always happens when you're young ,and never again when you're older.
>I'm off to tell my parents and they're ecstatic or something i'm making friends
>Free reign of the place, and i'm given a tour of the grounds
>Which means we just run around playing tag and doing various things the entire time.

>I would give them names, but most the time we didn't do anything.
>We can call them redfish, bluefish and greenfish though.
>Because Doctor seuss was the first book i learned to read, and that's a useless tidbit i've wasted your brain space with.
>Redfish was loud and boisterous, he was pretty neat and had lots of cool things to tell me.
>Greenfish was timid and quiet, seemed like he had something to hide
>and Bluefish was a mixture of the two.
>We roamed for maybe an hour, and then the announcements that the fireworks would start soon were echoed across the various groups of people.
>And Redfish had to leave.
>his parents needed him back or something
>I got his name, and where he lived in the neighborhood
>Pretty far away ):

>Sucks


>So being three young boisterous boys
>we did what anyone would do
>Looked for the best place to watch the fireworks
>Which just so happened to be a giant oak tree kinda off to the side of the field
>Which we climbed (bluefish and i had to help greenfish up)

>Giant sprawling branches with plenty of room between the leaves
>We all ended up leaning against different things, Blue and I against the trunk, and Green sprawled out on a branch of his own.
>It was pretty awesome
>The fireworks were loud, brightened up the night sky
>Flashes of lights across all our faces every time
>Bits of greens on our noses
>The whites lighting up our cheeks
>The reds across our hair and foreheads


>It was loud and explosive
>Pretty much what all boys like at that age
>The wonderment and brilliance of each firework lighting up our eyes as we watched.
>But like all cool explosiony things, they were over pretty quick
>But we didn't move
>We just stayed in the tree, staring up at the sky
>Watching the stars
>Staring at the sky.
>But green soon heard his name called across the field
>He had to go

>Names were exchanged
>Green lives by red
>):
>But blue didn't have to leave yet
>So he followed me over to the blanket with my parents
>They were happy to meet him, he gave them his name and we helped ourselves to food.
>Ended up lying, backs on the grass staring at the sky some more
>Still in all but thought
>Just thinking, or talking shit about stars and whatever we could see
>It's a habit i seem to have retained.


>But the night was growing later, and eventually Blue has to leave
>So i followed him, met his parents
>Who weren't very happy actually

>The father was rather angry, the mother was happy to see us hanging out together.
>That's when i heard her full name
>And not her nickname
>There was some stupid reason she was in trouble
>It's like he didn't care where she was, or who she was with. Just that she hadn't said hello to someone important or other from the father's work.
>I share where i live
>And her eyes light up
>That beautiful emerald i love so dearly to talk about.
>My first pair of favorite eyes.


>She's a block and a half away from my house
>Her parents get introduced to mine
>The parents end up walking home along with our neighborhood group of chatty mothers and the gaggling giggle of little girls.
>Many whelps, east-side, handle it.

>I show her where my house is on the way to hers.
>Wave goodbye
>She's on my doorstep the next day.

>We're off to being great friends, and best friends in what felt like days
>Then her friends became my friends
>Most of them girls
>All of them went to my school too, since it was local
>That was stability
>Atleast she was.
>Rather life preserver in a sea of friendlessness
>And introduction to being friends and growing up with mostly females.
>Being born into the darkness, ect ect.
>It wasn't that bad, it's just like hanging with guys really
>They just bitch about different things
>And pretend they're nothing alike one another.
>But i digress
>That was the beginning i wanted to tell.
>The start of the story, so now that story can end.
>I just hope you were taking notes.





Update #26 : May 5th

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11594658


>I was shambling
>Like a zombie that had sprained an ankle in some dramatic TV show, and was chasing the first meal i'd seen in days.
>A family of dirty, battered and beaten survivors
>Trapping them in a room with no escape, no weapons to fend me off.
>Before i sink my teeth into the jugular of one of the screaming...
>Well it doesn't matter
>I couldn't feel anything.
>The sight of those eyes
>My favorite emerald green eyes
>Wide open, unmoving, upwards


>It turned my faucet of emotions to full
>The pouring deafening me to anything else
>I blocked it all out, every feeling i could
>In that way that feeling nothing brings you the only solace you can achieve
>But in feeling nothing, everything ceases to work
>My legs became jello
>Jello, a very unsuitable medium for shambling, brought me down.
>My arms didn't stop my fall
>I hit the ground headfirst
>But i didn't feel a damn thing
>No ringing in my ears
>No pain
>No pressure
>I watched the floor come at me
>I watched as i bounded off my forehead, and bounced again
>Then i watched as the floor came back, my nose resting against it
>My eyes staring into the depths of the shadow my void had created.


>I realized i didn't feel any pain
>My wrists
>My back
>Any of the myriad of places i had been injured this sleepover
>For once, i was completely at ease in a sea of comfort.
>Nice way to go i guess
>Until i breathed in with my nose, and snorted an arcid and metallic liquid
>I could taste it
>I could smell it
>Two senses i hadn't learned to turn off, i had never needed to.
>It filled my nostrils
>But it was her blood
>I was lying in a pool of blood, by her side.

>I coughed, and sputtered, and leaned my head upwards to grab the razor from her hand
>distancing myself from the pool, i could barely see as is
>I guess i had splashed it all over my face, and it was dripping down into my eyes.
>[spoiler]Ever had blood in your eyes anons?[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]It feels like water, it's always warm and drips right down your eyelids and makes you blink[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]You can't feel it, your tears are just blood with elements removed anyway.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] but you can see it[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Blood swims in your vision, waves of red and pink float across your sight[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Until you blink, and it's all gone, only for another drop to replace it and it to start all over again.[/spoiler]
>I was seeing red, and i grabbed the razor

>My fingers caress hers for a moment, then it's in my hand and i pull it away
>Watching as her fingers curl upwards after the lack of weight holding them down
>That natural position that all hands curl, that resting position your muscles normally relax to.
>Blood rolling down her arms in happy little rivulets.
>I looked away
>Pulled my head out of the puddle of blood and looked down at my own body
>Down at my own wrists
>Seeping softly
>a trail, a smear of red where they lay as well.
>My wrists
>That's right
>They're already cut to hell
>I wouldn't get a clean cut anyway
>I start off in thoughts on how to kill myself
>That's the worst part
>Lots of em are far too complicated
>Sudoku, too painful, would be hard to add with this blade
>Temporicide, i'll let the time-traveling anons do that one for me.
>i can't even deicide how i would accomplish that anyway.
>Legs are too far, i'm not sure where to cut on my chest without it hurting.
>It's really not an important decision, but you pretend it is.
>It gives you power, over your fate
>Last important decision you'll make.

>Slitting my throat it is
>I wasn't really thinking.
>you don't really think in this kind of situation, it's just do.
>I know where that jugular thing is, i can cut that
>The chemicals flooding my mind made the process easy
>Painless, i hear that's quick too.
>Influencing every movement, letting my muscles move cohesively towards my end.
>I bring my hand forward
>Then i stop
>The chemicals in my mind, the fog preventing thought lifts for a mere second.
>Her fingers moved when i took the razor
>That means she's alive right?
>At the time i didn't know any better
>I didn't realize that muscles consist of a relaxed and taut state.
>I didn't realize that the deceased relax all muscles in their body
>I didn't realize how your hands curl when you let them hang
>I didn't know any better


>But i was up
>I willed all my muscles to work
>Dragged myself across the floor, smearing streaks of crimson liquid across the wooden boards.
>Hope is better than hopelessness
>That's all that was in my mind
>As i was dreaming of hope
>But there was nobody there to pinch me and wake me up.
>Even though i was dreaming.


>Blood's dripping down my face and into my eyes
>I have my arms around her
>Hoisted up, on my knee
>I lean over, my head blocking out the glare of the ceiling lamp
>Casting her face into shadow
>Examining her details
>The serene restfulness of her features
>The sunken cheeks
>My favorite eyes.
>Her sparkling yellow eyes shining dimly in the leftover light


>I stare at that face forever
>I finish my job as a cartographer
>I don't have to be scared of breathing, or shifting the bed.
>If only that would work.
>I'm holding her there for ages, i don't know where the razor went.
>But i'd end it happily right here
>And i watch the blood drip down my face
>A droplet rolled down my nose
>Slid to the end, hovering on the very tip.

>I could see it contemplating the jump, the impact, the fall.
>Until gravity overcame, and it fell
>Down and down
>Splashed into the ocean of her open eye.
>A majestic droplet no more.
>Then.
>I decided i would kill everyone else.
>[spoiler]Or something even better[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]She blinked.[/spoiler]



>That's a lot of thoughts and thinking i don't have to explain
>But my arms were around her and i was squeezing the shit out of her in the most bear-like-bear hug.
>Frankly even the bear who invented those hugs would have keeled over in embarrassment in his lack of bear hugging capabilities.
>The important part is that eyes blinking mean a couple really good things
>One, that she's alive
>Two, that she's alive
>Three, that she's conscious
>Four, that she's alive
>Five, that she's alive


>Six, that she's alive
>Seven, that she's alive
>Eight, that she's alive
>Nine, that she's alive
>Ten, that she's alive
>Eleven, that she's alive
>Twelve, that she's alive
>Fourteen, that she's alive


>Fifteen, that she's alive.
>Sixteen, that she's alive.
>But who are we kidding
>This was all a dream, remember anons?
>I hit my head when i fell
>Knocked myself out cold
>Just like her body when i woke up.


>But you've been paying attention
>You're smarter than that.
>You remember what i've told you
>I don't dream.
>And i can't state how important it is that you experienced it this way.
>The same way i did
>Because of how this changed everything.
>But i heard her.
>She squeezed out words, nothing complicated
>Just a
>"You're hurting me"
>I bet i was
>I was squeezing the life right out of her
>But that was bad
>So i let go, looked back
>Tried to understand how i could be so wrong
>Her wrists were still running with crimson
>But the puddles were smaller than i thought they would be
>Just small pools , fawning out over the area
>Atleast the other side was, i didn't understand. I fell feet away and landed in one myself.

>I try to trace the puddles
>They don't touch
>She's seemingly alert
>Is studying me with an intent look on her face.
>Her hand to my head, comes away covered in more crimson than it had otherwise

>I hit my head when i fell

>I'm lying in a pool of my own blood
>Sorry fucking mess i look myself, let alone her
>She's got some splainin to do.
>But i don't ask the right questions
>And it doesn't matter
>I just tell her
>Blubbering into her shoulder like a small child
>I tell her that she tried to kill herself
>Like she didn't know already
>But that's the thing
>She didn't


>"I... i didn't"
>Those were the words she said
>The wrists i look at
>The cuts are across
>Clotted over already
>Only seeping sadly
>Her eyes are shining, crying
>She sees the pain i'm in, the inner turmoil in my eyes.
>I know she must.
>"I... i couldn't feel anything, think straight... hear the rain outside"
>"It was just all silent, empty..."
>"I just wanted to feel something!"
>It wasn't even a statement, or a declaration
>It was like a question

>A searching question
>I knew that feeling far too well


>"It didn't even hur-"
>She stops
>I'm in tears
>Practically sobbing all over her
>She was just doing what i always do
>Staring up, blocking out the world
>Watching the ceiling when everything's bad.
>When nothing seems to go the way you want it to
>When it's easier to just stare
>When i think it's easier to pretend you're one of those deaf mutes.
>Pretend you can't hear anything but your ghost whispering.

>This wasn't time for talking
>It was time for crying
>But everything in my mind had changed
>Priorities thrown out the window
>Everything else in shambles
>A poor janitor in the corner trying to stomp out a fire in a wastebin.
>I realized everything
>Because as i keep telling you all
>You only realize what love is.
>What you actually value in life
>When you're sure its gone.
>You, dear anons.
>You had to give up hope.
>To feel the same loss i did.

>You only know what true love was, when you experience the heartbreak after.


>So i told her
>Words that until this moment i didn't understand
>Words that until this moment, i couldn't fathom telling anyone
>"I love you"
>Her face was blank
>But it wasn't her reaction i was looking for
>It was my own

>The pit in my stomach was gone
>I would tell you i felt alive
>I would tell you i felt amazing, endorphins running through my system
>I would tell you that birds sung out in lively song at these words
>These three words
>But nothing happened
>I felt nothing
>Her expression didn't change
>All i heard was the sound of the rain outside, softly pummeling away.


>But it changed in my mind
>We'd known each other for so long
>She doesn't know what i was going to do.
>My heart had been aching
>How close i was, i couldn't tell her
>Too shy to say it.

>She holds up her wrist
>"Look! We match now"
>She's trying to make a joke
>Like she doesn't want to talk about anything else.
>I laugh
>I don't know if it's real or forced
>doesn't really matter
>I reach into my pocket
>My sweatpants stained with smears of red
>*Eh* its pink, it'll wash out fine.

>I pull out the gauze i've had all this time
>And i start carefully wrapping her wrists too.

>Now, we match

>I drop her arms to her side

>And i lay down on my back beside her

>Staring upwards

>Silently both watching the ceiling

>Inside, we both know what's been going on.

>Lifelessly

>Motionlessly

>In pools of our own blood.

>What a wonderful night this was turning out to be.

>Well until birthday screamed


>Her legs seem to work, because she finds us quite quickly
>And she's shaking me
>I make it clear we're both fine
>And that she's welcome to join us
>But there's hysterics and frankly i'm not sure she heard and of it
>The screaming from glasses didn't help either
>Or blondie
>There's a frantic amount of screaming over the blood
>Over the markings on raven's neck
>Over the blood streaming down my forehead
>I can't really remember how i managed to calm that mess down
>I don't think i did
>I think raven said something, some set of words that magically worked to make the situation better
>That set of words that every girl knows, and every man should know
>But as soon as they say them, every male listening forgets.


>But i think we're labeled as idiots
>Second time in like an hour, that those three girls had to clean us up and stitch us back together.
>We're carried, not dragged
>To the kitchen floor
>Both of us dripping the entire way
>I have my head looked at, not really anything but a small cut
>Headwounds just bleed.
>A lot.

>Blondie playing nurse
>Lovingly grabs a rag and starts cleaning me up.
>Blotting bloodstains, wiping up streaks and smears.
>Hides the previous rivulets.
>But it was different than the loving care before
>I really don't think it was her being different
>It was me


>I knew what i felt about her.
>She was fun, attractive, charming...
>She was crushing on me, would let me do whatever i wanted (practically)
>But when i think about it
>All the ways i'd acted
>I was probably using her to make myself feel better
>But i didn't really feel anything about her
>Maybe if we took time together, but not yet.
>Not like when i looked at raven
>It was like a radiance of smiling energy welled up when i could look at her
>see her breathing
>blinking
>Alive, even if not... very vocal still.
>I didn't bullshit blondie
>I addressed the crowd
>"I didn't know what love was... until tonight"
>This has everyone's attention
>I put on a proper abe-lincon voice, have to play the part i guess.
>"Then i walked in on raven... covered in blood"
>"I love her"

> I scoot closer to raven and wrap my arm around her as i say this
>She doesn't react
>Just stares straight forward



>But the other girls are too busy in imagination land
>Blondie stopped halfway through replacing the gauze on my wrists.

>I can hear glasses and birthday going "Aweeeee" in that kind of dreamy way.
>When something's cute, something's happily ever after.
>I don't know if it was
>But it's not confusing in my head.
>I chased blondie because she was ideal
>Cute, a princess, perfect
>But in the real world that almost never works does it?
>You overlook flaws for perfection to exist.
>Perfect is usually the worst choice.

>Blondie doesn't say anything
>But she's not a dumb girl
>I never told her i loved her

>Blondie stands up
>Says she's going to bed, and leaves
>She's mad, or... who knows
>Glasses gets up and leaves too
>Which means i've fucked up haven't i.
>But its glasses
>She just comes back with underwear and a nightshirt for raven.
>Birthday finishes the nursing
>I'm not sure i remember what was said
>But i think they're going to stay up later
>I'm not, i want to sleep
>I'm not bleeding, but i hurt.
>Everywhere
>I don't ask
>I haul raven to her feet
>She's coming with me
>She doesn't complain
>Just follows
>We end up in the master bedroom
>Lying on the bed, facing one another
>I wrap my arms around her
>She's still silent
>But i'm not letting go
>And i drift asleep
>Staring into her emerald eyes in the darkness.

>Then i wake up from my dream
>But you know better by now.


Update #27 : May 6th

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11606991

(The archived thread is an absolute shitstorm)


>I feel a rumbling in my heart, or in my soul
>Or, just the bed vibrating
>Could be gas too, who knows man.
>Guess i'm awake now.
>I open my eyes to find two globes of green shining.
>The tableside light on behind her.

>She's been staring at me for however long
>Mapping me out like i did her.
>I wonder if her job as a cartographer is complete, or i should pretend to sleep just a little longer.
>But her eyes latch to mine
>She knows i'm awake.
>I don't know what time it is


>It doesn't matter
>I've still got one of my arms around her, the other fallen uselessly to my side
>Well, trying to be around her.
>She must have pulled me off to turn on the light
>That thought pangs against my psyche
>I explain it away
>Couldn't sleep maybe
>The room is still otherwise dark, so i know its not morning.
>But her eyes are still piercing me
>Looking through me, as if i'm not actually there.
>When i say we stayed like that, silent, for minutes.
>We did, real, full, minutes.
>Until she spoke
>"I don't believe you."

>Wow...
>I didn't know what to say
>That could be so many things
>So many fake girl questions, or circular logical lies
>But it wasn't
>I knew exactly what it was
>I didn't need to think it out
>There was only one statement in my mind
>She didn't believe what i told her earlier
>She didn't believe that i actually loved her.
>I don't know if that's a thing i can ever explain
>Because if there's one thing you can't ever prove to anyone when you're asked on the spot.
>It's that you love them
>Not without telling them a story.


>I was young
>Dumb
>Inexperienced
>And all i knew was media and television, anime and stories i had read.
>So i did what so many young men and women do when they're asked this question
>I confused emotional love, with physical love.
>I wrapped my arms around her and pulled raven close.
>I pressed one arm into her upper back, and the other hand against her buttocks
>Her chest to mine, her legs intertwined with my own
>I told her that i wasn't ever going to let her go.
>I told her that i would "Love" her all night
>I heavily implied sex, as if that was true love.
>[spoiler]But don't ever mistake those two anons.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Sex may be something you do with those you love, sex may be a way you reinforce the fact you love your partner.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]But it is not the way you prove love.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Too many of us had made this mistake this sleepover, and i was the last[/spoiler]


>Her eyes glint with sadness
>And she struggles
>Pushing me off, pushing me away
>The only contact left, her hands on my chest, my hands on her shoulders.
>She had a look in her eyes i've rarely seen before
>But i recognized it
>Regret
>When she spoke, it was like a thousand blades, whispering across my flesh.
>"Those things we did... "
>She didn't even need to tell me
>Her tone had me hurting without another word
>But she didn't know that, so she continued.
>"I didn't... i wouldn't ever... i only did them"

>She's struggling to come up with the right words
>"For you... because you wanted them, because i wanted..."
>Stumbling over each one, each pair until she can find what she wants.
>"I wasn't ready"
>Those are the right words

>They hit me like they were the right words
>Like an invisible wall of force comes up between us
>Like we're no longer lying side by side, like the rain outside has stopped and i'm far away.
>But i still hear that voice
>Far off in the distance, as if it's yelling thousands of feet away.
>I make out little bits and pieces over that long distance
>"I gave you...."
>"Took it..."
>"....Threw it away"

>"Slept with..."
>"....Hurt me"
>But my ears focus for the last line
>"I can't take any of it back"



>It's rather clear
>I'm an Asshole
>A real football head
>The biggest fuckup the world has ever seen
>And i'm here pretending it's all good, all fine
>When its not
>She bared her heart and i crushed it, then came back expecting seconds.
>Really? she should get up out of the bed right now and leave
>Never to return
>And she tried, she shoved me off
>Tried to get up and leave
>But if there's one thing i'd learned this sleepover
>Out of everything
>I grabbed her arm, pulled her back
>Wrapped my arms around the struggling girl, and pulled her close.
>She was tense, shoving me away
>Struggling, kicking, but i wasn't going to let her go
>I just squeezed harder
>And i told her a story

Anons in the thread were treated to copy/pastes from the beginning of the story here. I'm sorry, stop throwing shoes at me.

>It was an epic tale
>With knights, dragons
>Ghosts, and demon dogs.
>Sinking ships and krakens
>Princesses that hid beauty behind armor, the visor only showing sparkling eyes of green.
>and a headstrong knight with that princess as his dear fighting companion.
>About the allure of sirens, the kreening call of mermaids.
>The talons of a harpy, and the battlecry of a true Valkyrie
>and the fall of that Valkyrie, by the errant swing of the knight's foolish sword.
>As he followed the harpy's alluring song.
>The story was far grander than the one you read today, engrossing, and meaningful.
>It was possibly the greatest story in the world.
>This is just a tribute.
>But the ending was the same
>The knight, finding his warrior princess dead, her armor in tatters and true beauty shining through, takes his own life.
>That's the story i told
>So that she would know


>And she did know now
>She had long since stopped struggling, listening to the sound of my voice.
>The calm ups and downs in the heroic tale.
>She knew the truth
>The reason i told her the story
>Because my life wasn't worth living if i ever made her go away.
>Sappy
>Cliche
>A shallow overused plot device indeed
>But it was true
>The only difference is that you watched it all unfold.
>You understand why it was this way, why something so sappy and cliche came to be.
>Instead of an awkward one-liner in a romantic movie.
>And now she knew too.
>But it didn't really have the intended effect i wanted


>Even the greatest stories forget details
>Or maybe i just told it badly
>Because she was crying, and i never wanted that
>She squirmed one arm free, and slapped me across my face
>And she told me, malice in her voice
>That she wished the knight had gone through with it both times.
>That i never should have come through the door
>That she should have cut deeper
>And i wasn't alright with that
>I wasn't sad, or depressed for her
>I was angry that she could say those things
>She wasn't talking sense, like i needed to slap her to make her understand
>So i grabbed her cheek to stop her moving and brought back my hand
>But i didn't, i froze
>Her eyes locked on my upright fist
>and she spoke a matter-of-factly tone.
>"You can hit me."
>"I deserve it"


>But it was empty, meaningless
>Like a little girl repeating the words her father had told her time and time again.
>So i didn't
>I lowered my hand and brought it back around her
>and hugged
>and squeezed
>and didn't let go
>For what must have been an hour
>Our breath relaxed, but not deep and peaceful, both still fully awake.
>I learned many things over this tale and one of them was to wait for her to talk first.
>Very important, never forget it.
>So i did
>And eventually she spoke

>It was soft, a whisper to my ear.
>"I'll forgive you, if you forgive me"

>Its a deal
>Our hug changes to match the decision.
>From a normal embrace, to a lover's intertwinement.
>There is no difference between the two in position, angle or intensity of the hug.
>What changes is how relaxed the participants are, both calm, completely and finally at peace
>With no unwilling and tense muscles, or bodies to match.
>We both lost all tension, and relaxed finally.
>Drifted off into a peaceful slumber, in one another's arms.
>But that would be the dream world
>We relaxed sure, held on for another 10 minutes
>But her stomach grumbled.
>And we weren't very tired.


>So i let go and sat up
>And she did too
>But her hand found mine, not the other way around
>Moved out of bed, stood up and we were off
>Raven led me to the door, to the hallway
>We had another tiptoe adventure
>Avoided all the creaky boards even in the pitch darkness. Stumbled over soft pillowy things in the hallway, but never stubbed our toes once
>Never hit the sound landmines we did the night before
>She's still beautiful in the moonlight
>Her hair's not even a mess this time.
>But we cross the entire house, end up in the kitchen.

>Lights go on, Fridge is opened
>We share soup, and the extra leftover french toast.
>We're smiling, i hear a laugh as she deflects my fork from the last slice of apple.
>Its strained, but real
>It's lovely, i hadn't heard her laugh what felt like far too long.
>And we filled up on our delicious midnight feast.
>Or whatever time it was, it didn't matter.
>We put the plates in the sink, the clatter echoing through the house.
>No need to be silent really, who would care if we woke them up.
>We're hand in hand again, arm in arm.
>To the living room
>To the couch
>She hands me a controller
>Turns on the TV

>We end up sitting, arm and arm still intertwined on the couch.
>Just enjoying one another's company
>And playing video games
>Just the two of us
>I tell her to jump for the ledge.
>We can make it if we try.
>Throw down some blocks

>Building castles in the sky
>There was truthfully in my mind. No way i would have rather spent that last night of the sleepover than this.
>And it was how we spent it, hours later found by glasses.
>The early bird.
>We were both peacefully asleep
>Arm in arm, leaning against one another.

>Controllers still in hand
>It's a shame she turned off the console

>We didn't save.

>The morning of that day was a mess.
>Cereal was the breakfast of choice, nobody wanted to cook.
>We didn't even all eat at the same time. Blondie and Raven were never even in the same room.

>There was enough blood throughout the house to make an animated blood golem or something.
>So we had to clean all that up
>Hide the water damage as well as we could in the bathroom (it wasn't really that bad)
>Pick up every set of clothes in the house we had brought and toss them in the dryer.
>Load after load
>I must have handled every girl's pair of underwear atleast three times. All the pairs.
>Floors are swept, beds are made, clothes and sheets folded.

>It was like that scene from Snow White, where all the birds are picking up things and flying around tweeting at one another.
>Except none of the girls were talking much.
>I think everyone was angry, or busy or simply mellowed out.
>But that's just what the day after a sleepover is like, that's how they all end.

>Then that dreaded part came
>The phone calls to parents
>We were rather worried raven's mom would get scared.


>Explaining my injuries
>Raven's injuries
>The bloodstained (Some of it) clothes
>Head wounds
>Strangle marks
>That bruise on my back
>Yeah we were fucked.
>We lucked out there
>Raven's mom was busy, her stepdad was at work.
>We didn't bother begging or pleading with her.
>We could hitch a ride with someone else, or stay longer.

>No, i was done with the sleepover
>Don't worry anons, it ends here.
>So was raven, we made a call
>Packed up our things, everything we remembered bringing
>goodbyes were said.
>well between most everyone, Blondie didn't seem to be around.
>She didn't want to say goodbye, i could understand.
>I had broken her heart, it wasn't going to be easy to get her to talk to me again
>But i would try next time we were at school
>So raven and i walked to the door.
>And we left the house hand in hand.
>Walking down the path, and whistling for the waiting cab.


>But when it came near
>Raven noticed the license plate said "fresh"

>There were dice in the mirror
>If anything, we could say this experience was rare
>But i thought i'd forget it, we're going home to raven's house in Bel-air.
>Pulled up to her house, not worried about being late
>Yelled to the cabby "Yo holmes, smell you later!"
>Looked at our kingdom, we were finally there.
>To sit on our throne, as the prince and princess of Bel-Air.
>[spoiler]I shit you not, that's where we used to live[/spoiler]
>But we didn't notice.
>behind us, peeking out of the trunk.
>was a blonde haired girl
>Three bloody scratches down her cheek
>And a knife in her hand.

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