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Tenshi Hinanawi edited this page Apr 19, 2012 · 1 revision

Everyone needs to get out of their house eventually. Unless you're some sort of schizophrenic person who orders all his stuff online, you need to go places to get food, supplies, or even just to enjoy yourself.

Table of Contents

Walking The Walk

When you're walking down the street, inside a store, etc, there are a few rules you need to keep in mind.

  1. Walk at a reasonable pace. No one likes to be stuck behind a person that is shuffling down the sidewalk at a pace that would make a snail blush.
  2. Unless it's cold out, don't walk with your hands inside your pockets. It looks shifty.
  3. Do not walk with only one hand in your pocket, the other swaying at your side. You won't look shifty, but you will look like a tool.
  4. Straighten up and keep your eyes on the horizon, or at least where you want to go. If you have a terrible posture and stare at the ground when you walk, you do come off as strange. Plus you can't ogle the free boobs that come by you occasionally. Broaden your shoulders and walk confidently.
  5. If the sidewalk is crowded and someone is coming toward you, step to the right in the USA, Canada, Mainland Europe, any country that drives on the right, or the left, if in the UK, South Africa, any country that drives on the left.
  6. If you come up to a person that doesn't walk too fast (Old ladies, small children, teenagers with their pants at their ankles.) Try to walk around them without elbowing through them.
  7. Don't pay attention to bums on the street. Don't give them cigarettes, change, food, etc. However, help out in certain circumstances, like the old war vet whose motorized scooter ran out of batteries.
  8. If you're a friendly person, when a person passes you, there are a few options you have:
    • Nod and smile -Say "Good morning/afternoon/evening" -If you like to show a bit of vintage class, tip your hat. This has more magnitude when confronted with a female.
NOTE: This is restricted to only when a person is coming at you, when you can make eye contact. If you cannot make eye contact, do not say anything.

Standing In Line

You're not going to be the only one in a store that wishes to buy something. If its in a grocery or Best Buy, you need to follow the rules.

  1. Give people some space. If you can give them a bear hug without taking a step or leaning in, you're standing too close.
  2. Unless you have a head cold, breathe through your nose. No one likes to feel a warm breeze on the backs of their necks.
  3. Don't make conversation unless someone is talking to you.
  4. For God's sake, don't fidget. No foot tapping, chewing fingernails, sucking in the snot in your nose, adjusting yourself, etc.
  5. Make sure you don't stink. (See Grooming guide) I personally hate it to be behind a person that has killer BO.
  6. Pay attention. Keep in mind when someone goes ahead of you so you can keep the line moving.
  7. Don't stare at anyone if they can notice it. Keep your gaze moving, skip it around the ceiling, around the shelves, etc.
  8. No talking or muttering to yourself.
  9. No singing, you can hum softly, but that's it.
  10. No whistling.
  11. Get your shit together. As you stand in line, get your wallet out and make sure you don't have to fumble around in your pants for a minute to get it out.
  12. No messing around with what you're buying. No flipping it around, tossing it from hand to hand.

Conversing With Others

It's a little strange for a person to not say anything when they pay for something at a store. If you're really shy or can't talk to people that well, there are some basic rules you have to follow.

  1. Speak properly. Unless you are not speaking in your native language(and in which case you might want to apologise in advance for slaughtering a language) it is unforgivable to speak unproperly, and can be annoying to those with whom you are chatting; lolspeak, for example, is just one wonderful way of being ignored and/or beaten up.
  2. Be polite. Say 'Thank you' or 'Have a good day/evening' as you walk away.
  3. Greet them. As you walk up to a register, for example, you could say "Hello".
  4. Ask them about their day. Not a full in depth question, something simple like "How're you doing?" or "How's your day?" You'll get a one-word answer like "Good", but its a nice thing to do.
  5. Smile.
    • Being nice to cashiers is one way of being served well; most cashier jobs are shitty, repetitive, low-paying, have a lot of responsibilities to be borne, pressure, and all other kind of chickenshit you can think of so that the store makes more money on the sweat of the low ranked personnel's brow (mostly in big stores though). So cashiers kind of have it bad (and I know it I'm one), and a nice customer is a ray of sun in a store of darkness.
  6. If someone asks you for the time/for directions/, again, be nice. And if you don't know how to get there, admit it. Don't give them bullshit directions.
  7. Know what you want. If someone asks you "Want fries with that?" or something to that effect, don't sit there drooling trying to decide. Rule of thumb, use about five seconds in your decision. If by that time you haven't decided, respond with the path of least effort on both parties.

Eating At A Restaurant

If its simply a McDonalds or a sit-down restaurant like TGI Friday's, there some rules so you don't come off as an asshole and get your food spit on.

  1. Be nice to your waiter/waitress. They're usually busting their ass trying to make a living, and they don't need to have another asshole on their hands.
  2. Smile and thank them when they bring you the menu.
  3. In fact, thank them whenever they do something for you. Taking your order, taking the menu, refilling your coffee, etc.
  4. Speak up when you say your order. Don't mumble out what you want, enunciate clearly.
  5. Don't be a slob with your food. Don't slurp the soup, chew with your mouth open, etc. Stuff that little kids have already nailed should not apply to you. Sit up straight, bring the utensil to your mouth, not vice versa.
  6. Most waiters/waitresses rely on tips to get them through the week. Most state minimum wages for tipped workers are lower than that of non tipped waiters/waitresses. They are tipped for a reason. A 15% tip won't kill you, and you will be sure to receive good service next time you eat there.
  7. Be patient. If the restaurant is busy, they might not get to you as fast as you might hope. Don't start shouting at them to hurry up, they have other people to attend to other than you.
  8. If anything spills or breaks, don't get too worked up over it, and don't try to take advantage of the situation either. If they offer your meal free, take it. Don't demand your next five meals free of charge.
  9. Don't cause a fuss. Even if there's an annoying kid at a nearby table, or some irritating teen girls trying to be "cool", (despite your daydreams) going over there will just make you look like a jackass and cause problems.

At The Theater

  1. Try and sit about 7 seats away from another person, and if you're tall, don't sit in front of a person if there's room otherwise. However, if the theater is crowded, you might not have a choice.
  2. If you're meeting a group of people there, don't be late. Nobody likes having to rush to buy popcorn and drinks, and you won't get good seats.
  3. The best place to sit is in the middle, between the third and fourth sets of surround-sound speakers. Just for future reference.
  4. Turn your goddamn cell phone off or put it on vibrate. If you absolutely have to take a call, leave the theater and talk outside.
  5. Don't talk to people. They're just trying to enjoy the movie.
  6. Don't make a mess with your food. Someone else has to clean that up.
  7. Throw away your shit as you leave, don't just leave it there.
  8. Allow other people by when you're on your way out.
  9. Try not to go to the theater by yourself. It creeps people out seeing some nerdy guy alone in a children's movie.

Bad Habits

  • Scratching your ass/balls/any part of your body in public
  • Plucking snot in public
  • Fidgeting of any sort
  • Yawning during lame conversations
  • For smokers: smoking around hordes of nonsmokers, its their air too, granted some of them are douchebags about it.
  • Littering
  • NOT TIPPING (Unless the service really, really sucked, or you're in Iceland, or Japan since the wapanese dont tip). THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO BUSTED HIS ASS WAITING TABLES FOR A WHOLE SUMMER. If you don't tip, we will remember you, be prepared to try our special ingredients the next time you come.
  • Being a loudmouth
  • Talking loudly on your cellphone in a quiet environment
  • Getting involved with others problems, seriously it's annoying to have to deal with "Oh yeah, I've had that happen too! IT SUCKS SOOOOO BAD! LOLOLOLOL!" or anything else coming from some 16 year old girl.
  • Bitching a lot. No one, i repeat, NO ONE wants to hear your shit. If your parents divorced, don't be bitch, if thats what they want, thats what they should get. If you suck at life, become an hero, just STFU about it.
Don't let these statements escape your mouth
  • "G.W.Bush is right", "George Bush is Wrong", "Go Nader", or pretty much anything else involving politics unless you are prepared to back up your statements with reasoned arguments
  • "In god I trust" or anything else pertaining to religion. Period.
  • Any meme, or references to /b/
  • "LOL XD, so I was totally like in the house LOL..."
  • I'm gonna do something with my life, you know be someone..."

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