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Raid fanfic

Antonizoon edited this page Aug 13, 2014 · 3 revisions

Anonymous arose and strode swiftly to the microphone. The Anonymous snapped to their feet and stood silently. Anonymous surveyed the sea of brown with a grim look. "Be seated", he said. Anonymous' voice rose high and clear.

"/i/nsurgents, this shit that some faggots sling around about /i/ wanting out of this war, not wanting to fight, is a crock of shit. /i/ loves to fight, traditionally. All real /i/nsurgents love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to destroy scientology. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are Anonymous and all Anonymous like to fight. /i/ will not tolerate a loser. /i/ despises cowards. /i/ plays for the win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a /i/nsurgent who lost and laughed. That's why /i/ has never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to /i/."

Anonymous paused and looked over the crowd. "You are not all going to be v&," he said slowly. "Only one percent of you right here today would be v& during a major battle. The v& must not be feared. Yes, Anonymous is scared in his first battle. If he says he's not, he's a liar. Some Anonymous are cowards, but, by God, they fight the same as the brave Anonymous or they get the hell slammed out of them watching Anonymous fight who are just as scared as they are. The real hero is the /i/nsurgent who fights even though he is bored. Some Anonymous get over their boredom in a minute. For some, it takes an hour. For some, it takes days. But Anonymous will never let his boredom overpower his honor, his sense of duty, and his innate Anonymoushood. Battle is the most magnificent competition in which Anonymous can indulge. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base. Anonymous pride themselves on being Anonymous and they ARE Anonymous. Remember that the enemy is frightened. They are not Anonymous."

Anonymous's grim expression did not change. "There are four thousand neatly marked dormant IPs somewhere in the US", he roared into the microphone, "All because someone got bored and went to sleep on the job". He paused and Anonymous grew silent. "But they are SciFag IPs, because Anonymous caught the bastards asleep before they did. We have the finest food, the finest equipment, the best spirit, and the best /i/nsurgents in the world", Anonymous bellowed. He lowered his head and shook it pensively. Suddenly he snapped erect, faced the Anonymous belligerently and thundered, "Why, by God, I actually pity those poor scifag sons-of-bitches we're going up against. By God, I do".

"Anonymous doesn't surrender", Anonymous continued, "I don't want to hear of any /i/nsurgents proposing other raids. Even if you're spamming scifag forums, you can still fight. That's not just bullshit either. You are the kind of Anonymous like the Anonymous in Florida, who, with 12 beers in him, jerked off, raided habbo, raped over 3 gigs from, jerked off again, ripped 7 tranny torrents, spammed three scifag forums, then took down two servers before those fags knew what the fuck was coming off. And, all of that time, this Anonymous had a bullet through a lung from the goddamn FBI because of his "child model" collection. There was a Real Anonymous!"

"All Anonymous are not storybook haxxors, either. Every single Anonymous in /i/ plays a vital role. Don't ever let up. Don't ever think that your job is unimportant. Every Anonymous has a job to do and he must do it. Every Anonymous is a vital link in the great chain. What if every /i/nsurgent suddenly decided that he didn't like the whine of his CPU fan, turned yellow, and went to bed? The cowardly bastard could say, "Hell, they won't miss me, just one Anonymous in thousands". But, what if every Anonymous thought that way? Where in the hell would we be now? What would /i/ be like? The goddamn scifags, that's what. No, Goddamnit, /i/ don't think like that. Every Anonymous does his part. Every Anonymous is important in the vast scheme of this war.

"We don't want yellow cowards in this fight. They should be killed off like rats. If not, they will go home after this war and breed more cowards. The brave Anonymous will breed more brave Anonymous. Kill off the Goddamned cowards and we will have a world of brave Anonymous.

"Don't forget," Anonymous barked, "rule 1 and rule 2. These fags are not supposed to know what the hell happened to it. Let the first bastards to find out be the Goddamned scifags. Some day I want to see them raise up on their piss-soaked hind legs and howl, 'Jesus Christ, it's it's a lion! Get in the Goddamned car!"

"We want to get the hell over there", Anonymous continued, "The quicker we clean up this Goddamned mess, the quicker we can take a little jaunt against the purple pissing christfags and clean out their nest, too. Before fucking ebaums gets all of the credit."

Anonymous continued quietly, "Sure, we want to raid somewhere else. We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go somewhere else. The shortest way home is through And when we take that down", he yelled, "I am personally going to jerk off all over that scifag, crazy-ass, son-of-a-bitch Tom-fucking-cruise...and his stupid bitch wife, too! We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing those scifag cocksuckers that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just take down the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease our hard drive motors. We're going to murder those lousy scifag cocksucker's sites by the bushel-fucking-basket."

"We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!"

"From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our people too hard. I don't give a good Goddamn about such complaints. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder WE push, the more scifag sites we will kill. I want you all to remember that."

Category: Copypasta

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