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Index: Blindmute Loli

Thread 62

02/10/08(Sun)02:56:14 No.53490566

Herro /b/, blindmuteloli hombre is here to rape your white women. Well anyway, speaking of white women, I guess I'll get into the thread. The white woman is Cheryl, and she has lung cancer. Luke finally told me. It's in the early stages, and possibly treatable, but it doesn't surprise me. She's an old woman who's been smoking for however many years. Her voice has always sounded raspy, I pretty much predicted it but just wanted some confirmation. Cheryl, always being herself though, uses her affliction to manipulate hapless Luke. Apparently she's been running him ragged as sort of a personal slave, sending him on various errands. And of course, how can he refuse? She's a fragile old cancerous lady.

02/10/08(Sun)02:56:49 No.53490629

He decided to try to pawn one of these chores off on me. And how could I refuse? He's the selfless servant doing his best for a cancerous old woman! He wanted to me to go grocery shopping for her, and pick up some cigarettes. Since I had nothing better to do that evening, why not? I took Erika along with me, since I thought it might be fun for her to take a little field trip to the grocery store. We were going about, buying this and that was on the list, and then the trip took a turn for the worst. Picking out some items in the same aisle as us was none other than Ryan. Yes, asshole Ryan, child beater Ryan, that Ryan. I saw him, and walked away. I was going to just ignore him. He gave me a smug look when I saw him though. And then he began stalking me around the store. Not following behind me, but positioning himself so in the various aisles we would pass each other, and he'd give me a smug look. This happened over and over. I just wanted to get what Cheryl wanted me to and leave. Erika didn't notice his presence, because he didn't say a word, and I didn't want her to. But every so often he opened his mouth slightly like he was about to say "Hello Erika", just to taunt me. That's all he wanted to do was taunt me. "Haha Jake, thought you got me? Nothing happened to me. I'm fine."

02/10/08(Sun)02:57:24 No.53490685

Eventually, I couldn't avoid it. "What do you want?" "I'm shopping Jake. Making dinner for my Sarah tonight." Sarah was his girlfriend, the same one that he hit too and he had when he adopted Erika briefly. She went back to him I guess. Once again, he only said that just to get at me. "Oh Jake, that Sarah you tried to save. She went right back to me." (by the way he didn't actually say this or the other statement, I'm just surmising on his motives) I didn't really care about Sarah though. Erika, who had heard the name Ryan was acting defensive, I could tell she was prepared to hunch down and put her hands over her head. I put my arm around her to reassure her. Obviously, he couldn't do a damn thing in a public store, except harass me which is what he was doing. "Why are you following us then?" He ignored my question. "You know Jake, don't be mad. I'm a changed man. They made me take anger management courses, parenting courses, all of that. I'm even eligible to readopt Erika, of course I can't since you already did. But if you ever die, she'll be in good hands." And then he laughed. I couldn't take his shit anymore. I punched him, and apparently pretty damn hard because he fell backwards into a display and knocked it over. I wasn't done though. I jumped on him, and began punching him more. And he deserves it. He wants to beat a fucking little girl? And he has the audacity to taunt me over it? Then I'm going to give it back to him 10 times worse.

2/10/08(Sun)02:58:19 No.53490776

Most people around me saw I was kicking serious amounts of ass, like Kamina amounts of ass, so they all stayed away. Some employees finally rushed in to get me off of him, but I resisted. I eventually gave in though, I didn't want to bash in some pasty grocery store working teen's face just because I hated Ryan. Erika was freaked out by the experience, initially thinking Ryan had attacked me. I waited until the police arrived. They got both of our sides of the story, not really caring when I told them the reason why I wanted to kill Ryan. In the end, as expected, they brought me in. Also, one of the cops recognized me. "For a guy who's supposed to be a dad you get in a lot of trouble." Certainly made me feel like shit. And it was probably true. I let my emotions get the best of me. Ryan AGAIN gave me that smug look as I was being taken away. Even still, he had blood coming out of his nose as he did. It made me feel slightly better. They also took Erika away, to drive her to Melinda's house, as I found out later (at the time I was worried about what they would do with her).

02/10/08(Sun)03:00:14 No.53490960

Another night in jail, and it was pretty much the same. It was embarrassing to be recognized by one of the officers though. Melinda came to pick me up, and she was visibly annoyed that she was doing it again. I told her about what happened, thinking it'd turn her to my favor, but it didn't. "You're just stupid, Jake. You're always acting stupidly. You need to grow up." Speaking of stupid actions, let's discuss that window. I got a call from my parents about it the other day. Apparently my manly way of taking charge didn't resonate with them. "You're going to fucking pay me back every last fucking penny, understand me? And if you don't I'll drive down to your little girlfriend's house and knock some goddamn sense into you!" So I put on a clip of Shana saying "Urusai, urusai, urusai!". You all know this is where I say I actually didn't, but it would've been a good idea. Or I could've just presented him with boring high school drama scenes lacking real action hyping up to an enemy which shows up and does barely any damage then disappears (of course she did leave an incredibly annoying character with a means of instant suicide, which is nice)... wait, where was I going with this statement? Sorry, you have to get the anime rants with the blindmuteloli. That's what happened. I hope I don't see any more of Ryan. As for Cheryl, I never ended up getting her groceries or cigarettes. In response to this, she told me this statement: "When I'm in hell beating the shit out of my fuckhead ex-husband, I'm going to pretend it's your face on his body!" It's always nice to be appreciated.

Thread 63

02/13/08(Wed)00:32:03 No.53898593

Attention K-mart shoppers. This Gendou speaking. All female personnel please report to my office for... breast inspection. No this actually Jake, the blindmuteloli man speaking. It's time for another thread, as you can probably surmise. Today I was sick (legitimately), and I had to stay home from work. My boss didn't care much (he may be starting to realize that I get paid to do a lot of nothing). Since I was feeling so badly, Erika was determined to stay and care for me. Did this work out? ...Eh, not so much. Her first act of kindness was to make me some soup. Obviously, having her in the kitchen by herself dealing with stoves and what not was a bad idea. I was about to stop her, when I began to feel like I was going to vomit everywhere. I rushed to the bathroom, and just did that. When I came back, Erika was actually holding a bowl on a plate. How in the HFIL could she prepare soup so quickly, and really at all? I sat on the couch, and she handed me a fork, a knife, and a spoon (and by handed I mean almost gouged my eyes out with it, she lacks depth perception so it wasn't her fault). "Why do I need a knife or a fork for soup?" "Restaurants do it!" I took a taste of it. It tasted a bit funny, until I realized it wasn't soup. It was water. It was water in a bowl. And I bluntly told her this. "Erika, this is just water in a bowl." "It's unfinished! I was just seeing how you liked the first part. Don't be ungrateful!" She gave me underlined exclamation points, which I had been missing for a while. Before she decided to go finish her soup though I decided to go in and make us both some real soup.

02/13/08(Wed)00:32:33 No.53898663

It was Campbell's chunky chicken noodle, and I was reminded of all of those husky nigra athletes from the commercials. I think those NFL sized appetites would rape me and give me an NFL sized asshole. Erika didn't want any because I sneezed in it a few times while making it. Erika went to the bathroom, and I had a little "happy time" in the living room to cure me of the ruttishness my sickness causes. She came back out, and sat down on my legs. Before long I went into a sneezing fit so she grabbed a tissue and put it up to my nose. But I felt something that suggested these had already been used. And then I sniffed it. I knew that smell, it smelled like raw meat. And then it hit me. Since the tissues were already there I used them to clean up my "mess" and threw them right next to the tissue box. Erika wouldn't let met escape from a noseful of my own semen though before I blew, and I blew. There was still some 'miracle whip' left on the tip, which I promptly wiped off. Erika continued "blow"-ing me (you know I had to make a pun out of that) for the rest of the day.

02/13/08(Wed)00:33:09 No.53898744

Then a knock at the door. The last person I needed to see while sick stood before me. None other than Cheryl. I could tell she was in her normal mood. Don't know what got her out of her cancer depression slump, but she seemed pretty much like her self. "Uh hi Cheryl. What brings you over here?" "Looking for pudgy. He's been trying to blow me off recently." "Oh really? That's a shame." "What about you cumstain?" I looked down, and realized there was a rather obvious stain on my pants. Guess I didn't wipe it all off. "Shouldn't you be at work? Or is ching chong over there gonna do like all of the other gooks and start eating dogs?" "I'm sick today. What about you? Shouldn't you be at a hospital, getting chemotherapy or something?" "I don't want no goddamn chemotherapy. Makes you balder than pudgy's dick." "May I ask then what's brought you back into our lives as the cheery bringer of joy we all knew and loved?" "I don't got much longer to live. So I'm going to be the biggest bitch anyone's ever seen while I'm still moving." "That's not much of a change from the usual..." "I want to call that Make-a-wish foundation and make a wish that you'd shut the fuck up." I imagine she's been saving that one up. "Well anyway, Luke isn't here. So... bye." Without notice she smacked me with the cane. Hard. "What the fuck was that for!?" "Just because I can. You can't hit a cancerous old woman back. Am I a bitch now?"

02/13/08(Wed)00:33:44 No.53898825

She's not even a bitch anymore, she's crazy. Speaking of crazy, I wasn't even getting off that easy. Cheryl had Gloria waiting in the car, who wanted to visit too. She came in, and we sat down and chatted a bit. "Ching chong", as Cheryl put it, was pouting that two vulgar old women had interrupted help sick Jake time. "You know Jake, I know a wonderful homemade cure for any illness." "Really? What is it?" She leaned in close to my ear and whispered "It's called cyanide." And then she started laughing it up. I set myself up for that one. I wonder sometimes if she's just plain crazy, old mind going away crazy, or just Cheryl-brand mean in a more subtle way. Cheryl eventually suggested that we play a game. I personally was fine with just sitting there, I hadn't ordered two old ladies to interrupt my day. What were we going to play? We were thinking about it when we got an interruption from somebody. None other than Luke himself. He saw Cheryl, and that deer in the headlights look kicked in again. "So there you are, huh pudgy?" Innocent Luke had come over for some anime discussion, some video games, some usual nerd bonding stuff. And this is what he gets. Luke went up to me. "Jake... can you go to the kitchen with me... to talk about anime?" Obviously we weren't talking about anime, but Cheryl gave no protest as we hurried off to the other room. When I looked at her though, she licked her lips. A fast lick, like a snake about to swallow the rat whole. One of the creepiest things I've ever seen in my life. "Jake, you've got to help me. That woman is a nympho!"

02/13/08(Wed)00:34:17 No.53898904

"It's not my fault you like to raid both the cradle and the cemetary Luke." "Jake, I'll confess something. You know Cheryl is the landlord for my apartment building right?" "Yeaah..." When it involves Cheryl, it's bound to be insane. "She threatened to evict me unless I moved in with her. And I did, and it's been like that for the past few weeks." "Wait a second. That's gotta be an illegal business practice!" "Try telling that to her cane." "Either way, I'm there and she's a nympho and I can't take anymore!" He sounded like a housewife in a domestic abuse situation. "You think cancer would slow her down Jake, but no. Day and night. And even you don't want to know how kinky she can get sometimes." "If this is really driving you crazy, what do you want me to do about it?" "Let me move back in here." Uh-oh. "I don't know if that's a good idea..." "Why not?" "Well you remember what happened the times before." A lamp on a pole match, that's what. "Oh, that's ancient history!" "Well you know I couldn't say yes without asking Melinda. And even if she is a nympho, wouldn't you feel bad abandoning a lonely old woman who's about to die?" "I keep on hearing that, it's annoying!" We went back out, and Cheryl was waiting. "It's time to go home pudgy. Tell your little friends goodbye." With that, they were off. But something wasn't right. Cheryl had left, so the winds should have settled and the crows should've stopped chirping. Wait a second! Gloria was still on my couch. Why was Gloria still on my couch!? "Gloria, why are you still here?" "I still want to play the game." "I am the game and you don't want to play me. I am control, no way you can change me." Well I didn't actually say that, but it would have been a nice opportunity.

02/13/08(Wed)00:34:58 No.53899008

Melinda had the car, so there was no way to make her leave for now. We loitered arond a bit, until finally Melinda returned. "Jake you got some mail!" Meru meru for me? Wonderful! No wait. Not wonderful. Ryan has charged me with assault. I have to show up at court. So he decided to press some charges after all then. Surely if I explain the situation though, they'll be able to understand that Ryan is a scumbag. I haven't told Erika, and I may not, since I'm sure I'll resolve it all quickly.

Thread 64

02/17/08(Sun)01:57:40 No.54481878

( ´ω`) Hello, kids! Happy Valentine's Day (or SAD if you're one of those hipsters who like to wear the shirts with the satirical slogans on them). What you say? I'm late!? Valentine's Day is over!? Yes, actually it is, and I'm late. But then again I haven't introduced myself. I shall only say that this is the blindmuteloli chap and you're here for Jake's late Valentines Day-travaganza party head cha la thread. SPARKINGU! Okay, that's quite a nonsensical opening, but we'll go with it. But yeah, this is basically the thread of how my VD (not venereal disease) went. I thought more stuff might happen later so I put off updating for a bit, but it seems that what happened has just been swept under the rug. What happened you might ask? Well I imagine I'll tell you. A quiet morning it was, usual business. It may have been the day of romance but some people still had to go to work. Jim, oddly enough, was busy that day and in fact asked me to watch his kids as well as mine. Of course I couldn't, so I had to rely on Luke to take care of all three of them. Leaving Luke home alone with 3 young girls probably isn't the best idea, but I had to go. He had trouble getting away from Cheryl, but I told him that if this day went well he might look better in the eyes of Melinda, who he was going to ask today to move in with.

02/17/08(Sun)01:58:45 No.54482017

I went to work, and our always clever boss came up with a couple's discount on all people who came into the store with their wives/girlfriends/etc. The only person I actually got was a guy who came in with his little sister. I gave him the discount just to be funny, thinking he'd have a laugh. When I told him though, he started to walk away but then turned to me and winked. Other than that, it was an average day at an average job. I arrived home, intending to go pretty quickly to Sharon's house. I wanted to get some legal advice from her on the whole Ryan situation, and she's the only person even remotely versed in those types of things that I know of. I came home, and found a terrible site. It was Luke, pants and boxers pulled down, his gluttonous masses he calls thighs spread out like some sickly cookie dough on my couch cushion, pumping his painfully inadequate PENIS with panties over his face. "Luke, what the fuck!?" He was started by this, fell foward off the couch smacking his dick into the table, and then squirmed to pull his pants up on the ground. I grabbed the panties from him, but quickly realized these weren't loli panties. I sniffed them, and they smelled like tobacco. "Oh lord..." and I realized who they belonged to. "Where are the kids Luke?" "Upstairs..." "What if they would've waked down the stairs? Can't you be more responsible?" "I..." "Why do you have these anyway?" "Cheryl wanted me to take them!" "Luke, this really makes me reconsider you wanting to move in." "What, why? Don't act like you don't masturbate!" "Well... this isn't about me!" From all the commotion, the kids came downstairs and asked what was going on. "We're talking about masturbation and it's not for kids so go back upstairs!" I then realized that this probably wasn't a good statement to make. They saw that it wasn't the time though, so they hurried back up. I could only imagine as it led to Erika asking Melanie what masturbation was, and things going from there.

02/17/08(Sun)01:59:58 No.54482169

Anyway, Luke stayed where he was since Melinda should be home soon, and put the panties back in his pocket. I went upstairs to check on the children. Erika presented me with a Valentine she made. Being as she's blind, it wasn't the prettiest, but it had good writing. Actually, it sort of looked like a decapitated chicken. "Do you like it?" "I love it." Melanie made me one too. It was a normal looking heart shaped one. Unfolding it, it said "Fuck me." "Do you like it?" "It's... ribald." "What does ribald mean?" "You're precocious, you should know." "What does precocious mean!?" And then I looked at Amelia. She stared at me for a bit, before finally saying "What?" "Didn't you make me anything?" "Why would I?" "I'm a popular guy." "You need to shower." I probably did. I went back downstairs, prepared to leave for Sharon's. I told Luke that there would be no funny play or foreplay while I was gone. I arrived at Sharon's house, and knocked on the door. No answer. It was somewhat left open though, seems she forgot to close it all the way, so I walked right in. And now for a lesson on why we don't do that. There they were. Jim. Sharon. Playing old maid. I sat down to play with them, and I realized it wasn't old maid. They were playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Already horrified at how they managed to get a pre-release copy, I picked up a controller only to realize they weren't playing at all. They were watching Home and Garden Television. I sat down to watch Trading Spaces when it occured to me that they were actually having sex. Okay, I dragged that out, but they were fucking. They both shot up immediately when they saw me and rushed to cover themselves.

02/17/08(Sun)02:00:31 No.54482246

"What are you guys doing!?" "Uh well... Jake..." Jim began to speak. "It's just a little adulteroo." "Jim, did you just say 'adulteroo'!? It's adultery, you're both married! What's wrong with you both? And on Valentine's day?" "Mark didn't give a shit about me or Valentine's day Jake. You were right about him. He's a fucking dick. Since we've been married he's always been a dick and I'm tired of him. I wouldn't mind a nicer guy like Jim." "You always said he was annoying..." "Well, he is annoying. But at least he doesn't treat you like an asshole." I imagined the scenario. Sharon looked for a shoulder to cry on, went to her old neighbor Jim, and Jim turned that into some action. "What about your wife Jim?" "She cares more about her job than me! We were both spending Valentine's alone so we just got together... and, things happened." "You shouldn't be doing this. You can do it, but not behind people's backs. You should tell them both upfront." "You won't tell them, will you Jake?" "It's none of my business, I came here to talk to Sharon." "Can I get some clothes on first?" "Fine." Jim left in shame, and Sharon got dressed to talk to me. "What do you want?" "I want some legal advice. Ryan's pressing charges against me for assault." "Did you hit him?" "Well yeah." "Then that's assault." "C'mon now, give me some good advice." "it's not really my area of law, besides you just sort of caught me here so I'm a bit shooken up. Can't we do this another day?" "Okay fine, I'll go home now. But I have a court date soon, so I need some advice." I was about to leave, when Sharon stopped me again. "Jake, you don't think Jim and I are bad people, do you?" "Well no, but you should tell them if you want to end your relationship." "Jim has kids though, he can't do it." "I won't judge either of you. Hell, it's none of my business, let's just not bring it up ever again, okay?" With that, I went home.

02/17/08(Sun)02:01:08 No.54482327

I returned home to find that Jim had already picked up Melanie and Amelia. On the doorstep, I saw Melinda's car pulling up. I went inside, and warned Luke, who was lazing about. Melinda came in, and Luke dropped the question. "Melinda, can I move in?" I expected her to take some time to think about, it but instead she smacked him. "Why did you do that!?" "You expect me to let you move in!? After you cheat on me with Jake's whore sister!?" "You cheated on me with Jake!" I interjected with, "Hey, I'm not in this, and neither is my who--er... sister." "Either way, I don't care. He's not moving in." "I thought you guys made up." "We did, and it's fine if he wants to come over and play every now and then. But he's not living here. I would go crazy." "Well fine then, I didn't want to live with you anyway! Bitch!" and he waddled out. I didn't expect tension to erupt so quickly, and as quickly it turned on me. "This is your fault! You put that idea in his head, didn't you Jake?" "I told him to ask, but..." "This isn't your house, don't invite people to live here!" Well dayumn. I went upstairs to see Erika. She seemed to be pondering something. "Is it true it shoots white poison?" "Eh... what?" "Your PENIS."

Thread 65

02/27/08(Wed)00:19:27 No.55894761

Good morrow to you /b/. The blindmuteloli man is here again, same blindmute time, same blindmute channel. Woke up today, went to work as I usually do. The phone rang, so I answered it, expecting a delivery. Instead it was Sharon. "Is this Jake?" "Uh yes, who is this?" "Sharon." "I'm guessing you're not planning on ordering any of our fine food?" "Jake, an emergency has happened. I need you to come to Jim's house." "What ha--", but she already hung up on me. She seemed pretty frantic, so I was guessing that this was an actual emergency and not just one of her usual "get Jake involved in your business" emergencies. Furthermore, my precious and wonderful Erika was staying with Jim as usual, meaning it could be bad. Luke is moving in today, which means I intended on having him babysit more often, but not today. About that, I did get Melinda to let Luke move in. It was pretty simple, I worked my Jake magic over the course of the past week or so. By "Jake magic" I mean generally incessant reminders about Luke, until she was finally so annoyed she had to give in. She wasn't happy about it, but I brought Erika in for cuteness backup. Erika herself though was suprisingly apprehensive to Luke moving in. "Why don't you like the idea?" "I need my underwear." I managed to enlist her help in the matter though, and we won Melinda over. Cheryl obviously isn't be happy about it, but Luke said he was basically is planning a stealth escape. He said he's going to somehow get her drunk or sleeping or something and just leave and hope she doesn't wake up. It's kind of mean, but I don't think he has any other chance of leaving. Of course that also meant he could just bring the wrath of Cheryl down on my abode.

02/27/08(Wed)00:21:30 No.55895022

Back to the emergency then. I told my boss that I had to leave, something had happened. "Something always happens with you, doesn't it Jake?" "I'm sorry." "Don't be, parenting is great isn't it?" "Yeah, how's your son doing?" He gave me a look like I said something I shouldn't have and I rushed off. I arrived to find that this was, in fact, an emergency. There was a police car there, talking to Sharon. "Sharon! What happened? Where's Erika?" Sharon approached me. "Well Jake, I followed your advice..." Oh god, she was already implicating me in this. "...and I told Mark about my relationship with Jim." "...And?" "He came here and beat the shit out of Jim. Badly. An ambulance came to take Jim away, which is why I called you." "Was anybody else hurt?" "Eric got socked in the face by Mark. They offered to take him to the ER, but he said he was okay. I'm going to go meet Jim at the hospital. Mark's already been arrested. I need you to go watch the kids. And, well..." "Yes...?" "Jim's wife might be coming home at any time. I need you to..." "Clean up and cover up?" "Well yeah." "Why should I do this for you?" At that point she got legitimately mad at me. "Jake, Jim's already had the crap kicked out of him. His kids are in there crying, do you want to cause more trouble for Jim and them just because you want to be a smug fucker?" I was a bit flabbergasted by that. "I was only kidding, I'll do it. Eventually you know though, the truth will have to come out." "It's shit like that that got us into this mess in the first place. Now goodbye." I went inside, and the house was trashed. Stuff thrown about everywhere, broken glass and some blood stains. Amelia was bawling her eyes out, Melanie was trying not to cry and console her little sister, Erika was shook up by the whole affair, and Eric sat there holding his eye. "You okay?" "Do I look like I'm okay?" He lifted his hand, I saw he had a pretty nasty bruise. Mark had got him good. 3/4ths of me was sympathetic, but there was that small part that went "hehe, emo kid got beat up." According to what I learned later, he tried to pull Mark off of his dad only to get a punch right in the face for his efforts.

02/27/08(Wed)00:22:55 No.55895181

I went to console the girls. Amelia and Erika both went right into my arms as I asked Melanie more about what happened. "He came in and went crazy. I called the police." I knew that I couldn't laze around for long though. I went to work busy as a bee cleaning. Some stuff was broken beyond repair, but I did my best. I calmed the kids down too to make sure that they weren't going to give things away. It looked generally okay when I was finished with it, and I waited. Cynthia finally did come home. "Oh, hi Jake. What brings you here? Where's Jim?" "Well, Jim asked me to come babysit for him here while he's out." I could tell Cynthia's bullshit detector was already going off. She knows her husband never goes out. "What's he doing?" "Going to buy some... beer." It seemed like the most logical thing. "What car did he take?" "He walked." This was not going well. "He asked you over to babysit solely so he could walk to go get some beer?" "Well, I don't mind." And then suddenly her look of "this is bullshit" turned to a smirk. "Tell me the truth Jake." "Uuh...." "I knew it!" Oh fuck. I had failed. "He's going to buy me a birthday present, and he asked you to come over here and babysit and told you to make up an excuse, right? Wow, that's amazing! He usually forgets it. You know Jake, people sometimes ask me why I'm with Jim. He has his bad points, but he can do amazing stuff at times. He's a lump, but he's a sweet lump." My mouth was about to drop wide open that she had come to the conclusion, but I knew that I had to keep my lips sealed. I began shaking my finger mockingly. "You got me!" "Don't worry Jake, I won't tell that I know. Do you have any idea what he's buying?" "I haven't a clue." I suddenly began to realize the stupidity of this whole scheme. What exactly is Cynthia going to think when Jim doesn't return home tonight, or for a few days (depending on the length of his hospital stay). And how are his kids going to keep silent? Why am I involving myself in such a stupid idea? She also saw that Eric had quite a large bruise. "Eric, what happened to you?" Uh-oh, emo boy on the spot. "I... fell down the steps." "Oh, are you okay?" "Yep." Oh man, she's really a lot more gullible than I imagined.

02/27/08(Wed)00:25:57 No.55895565

Eventually, Erika and I left. We returned home, and I could sense a demonic presence in the air. There she was. On my couch. Cheryl. "Where is he?" "Cheryl, how did you get inside?" "WHERE IS HE?" Cheryl was now bordering on unfunny, she was REALLY bordering on unfunny. "Cheryl, this isn't a good time." Suddenly she got up, and rushed at me, as much as a woman her age could and raised her cane. I really thought she was going to bash my face in. She likes hitting people with her cane, but this stance she was doing with it now was a murderous one. She was going to fucking kill me. And then she stopped. Melinda and Luke both popped out. "That's punishment for annoying me so much," Melinda slyly stated. "Pudgy already got his for trying to sneak out," Cheryl added. "Does this mean Luke's staying or not?" Cheryl answered. "You all can have fatass if you really want him that bad. I'll get me a real man who can keep up with my rhythm." With that, she left. To think, an encounter with Cheryl where nothing bad happened. But I could tell even as she said it, there was a sadness in her voice. I began to think she was trying not to seem as hurt by Luke's departure as she really was. Luke was ready to celebrate when Melinda brought down the party. "We're going to lay a few ground rules down. Luke, I don't like you much. I'm letting you stay here because of Jake, and it's a mystery why I do so much for him. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear you. And all panties will stay in drawers." Erika raised her fist in support at this declaration. And here I am after this day of activity. I have a feeling this is only the beginning.

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