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Proofread changes #156

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@saracen @saivann @mikegogulski @paulogeyer @luke-jr
@saracen

saracen commented Apr 24, 2013

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@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/bitcoin-for-enthusiasts.html
@@ -7,19 +7,19 @@
<p class="summary">Bitcoin is changing the world of finance, by giving you control over your money.</p>
<h2><img src="/img/ico_democracy.svg" alt="Democracy" />Bitcoin is a worldwide consensus</h2>
-<p>By its decentralized open-source nature, Bitcoin is the first payment network that is powered by its users with no central authority. Even Bitcoin developers have no power to force updates in the protocol if enough users, developers, or miners disagree. <i>You</i> have exclusive control over your Bitcoin wallet.</p>
+<p>Because of its decentralized, open-source nature, Bitcoin is the first payment network that is powered by its users with no central authority. Even Bitcoin developers have no power to force updates in the protocol if enough users, developers, or miners disagree. <i>You</i> have exclusive control over your Bitcoin wallet.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

One word ends on one single line. In order to fix this, you can use "You have exclusive control over your Bitcoin wallet."

@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/bitcoin-for-press.html
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<a href="#" onclick="faqshow(event);">Is Bitcoin secure?</a>
<div>
- <p>The Bitcoin technology - the protocol and the cryptography - has a strong security track record. Bitcoin’s vulnerability is in user error. Bitcoin wallet files that store the necessary private keys can be accidentally deleted, lost, stolen or compromised. Consequently, users need to employ <a href="/en/secure-your-wallet">security practices</a> to protect their money or use service providers that offer good levels of security and insurance. As Bitcoin has grown in adoption, more service providers have appeared to make it easier, safer, and more convenient to use and safely secure bitcoins. Bitcoins are not covered by insurance schemes or depositor insurance like the FDIC, but could be with a service provider that offered that service.</p>
+ <p>The Bitcoin technology - the protocol and the cryptography - has a strong security track record. Bitcoin’s vulnerability is in user error. Bitcoin wallet files that store the necessary private keys can be accidentally deleted, lost, stolen, or compromised. Consequently, users need to employ <a href="/en/secure-your-wallet">security practices</a> to protect their money or use service providers that offer good levels of security and insurance. As more people have adopted Bitcoin, more service providers have appeared to make it easier, safer, and more convenient to use and safely secure bitcoins. Bitcoins are not covered by insurance schemes or depositor insurance like the FDIC, but users could be with a service provider that offers that provision.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

Maybe it's more accurate to say "but wallets could be with a service provider that offers that provision."? Users are not insurred. Their wallet can be insurred.

@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/bitcoin-for-press.html
<div>
- <p>Bitcoin is as virtual as the credit cards and online banking networks that people are using everyday. They are a balance stored in a network.</p>
- <p>While Bitcoin is particularly well suited for use on the Internet unlike other payment systems, Bitcoin can also be used to pay in physical stores using simple mobile applications just like real money.</p>
- <p>Bitcoin users have exclusive control of their funds and Bitcoin balances are stored in an extremely large decentralized distributed computer network and cannot be fraudulently altered by anybody. In other terms, bitcoins cannot vanish or be seized by any means. They can be stolen or lost per users mistakes.</p>
+ <p>Bitcoin is as virtual as the credit cards and online banking networks that people are using every day. Bitcoins are a balance stored in a network.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

It was important here to say both Bitcoin and credit cards are a balance stored in a network. So I think we should either say "they are a balance stored in a network" or "Bitcoins and credits cards are a balance stored in a network". Though I had a preference of the first one because it's shorter.

@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

Or then again "Both are a balance stored in a network"?

@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/bitcoin-for-press.html
<div>
- <p>Bitcoin is as virtual as the credit cards and online banking networks that people are using everyday. They are a balance stored in a network.</p>
- <p>While Bitcoin is particularly well suited for use on the Internet unlike other payment systems, Bitcoin can also be used to pay in physical stores using simple mobile applications just like real money.</p>
- <p>Bitcoin users have exclusive control of their funds and Bitcoin balances are stored in an extremely large decentralized distributed computer network and cannot be fraudulently altered by anybody. In other terms, bitcoins cannot vanish or be seized by any means. They can be stolen or lost per users mistakes.</p>
+ <p>Bitcoin is as virtual as the credit cards and online banking networks that people are using every day. Bitcoins are a balance stored in a network.</p>
+ <p>While Bitcoin is particularly well suited for use on the Internet, unlike other payment systems, Bitcoin can also be used to pay in physical stores using simple mobile applications, just like real money.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

I think a comma here creates a misconception that Bitcoin "can be used to pay in physical stores unlike other payment systems". Perhaps we should rewrite the sentence to something like "While Bitcoin is better suited for use on the Internet than other payments systems, Bitcoin can also be used to pay in physical stores.."

@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/how-it-works.html
@@ -18,10 +18,10 @@
<p>The block chain is a <b>shared public transaction log</b> on which the entire Bitcoin network relies. All confirmed transactions are included in the block chain with no exception. This way, new transactions can be verified to be spending bitcoins that are actually owned by the spender. The integrity and the chronological order of the block chain are enforced with <a href="/en/vocabulary#cryptography">cryptography</a>.</p>
<h2>Transactions<a class="titlelight"> - private keys</a></h2>
-<p>A transaction is <b>a transfer of value between Bitcoin addresses</b> that gets included in the block chain. Bitcoin wallets keep a secret piece of data called a <a href="/en/vocabulary#private-key"><i>private key</i></a> for each Bitcoin address. Private keys are used to sign transactions, providing a mathematical proof that they come from the owner of the addresses. The <a href="/en/vocabulary#signature"><i>signature</i></a> also prevents the transaction from being altered by anybody once it has been issued. All transactions are broadcast between users and confirmed by the network in the following minutes, through a process called <a href="/en/vocabulary#mining"><i>mining</i></a>.</p>
+<p>A transaction is <b>a transfer of value between Bitcoin addresses</b> that gets included in the block chain. Bitcoin wallets keep a secret piece of data called a <a href="/en/vocabulary#private-key"><i>private key</i></a> for each Bitcoin address. Private keys are used to sign transactions, providing mathematical proof that they have come from the owner of the addresses. The <a href="/en/vocabulary#signature"><i>signature</i></a> also prevents the transaction from being altered by anybody once it has been issued. All transactions are broadcast between users and confirmed by the network in the following minutes, through a process called <a href="/en/vocabulary#mining"><i>mining</i></a>.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

I think that we should stick to "providing a mathematical proof that they come from their owners" to keep consistency with other sentences.

@saivann saivann commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/you-need-to-know.html
@@ -7,16 +7,16 @@
<p>If you are about to explore Bitcoin, there are a few things you should know. Bitcoin does not let you send emails or take pictures; it lets you exchange money and value. As such, Bitcoin must be treated with the same care as your regular wallet, or even more in some cases!</p>
<h2><img src="/img/ico_key.svg" alt="Security" />Securing your wallet</h2>
-<p>Like in real life, your wallet must be secured. Bitcoin allows to transfer value worldwide easier than ever. Such great features also come with great security concerns. At the same time, Bitcoin can provide very high levels of security if used correctly. Always remember that it is your responsibility to adopt good practices in order to protect your money. <a href="/en/secure-your-wallet"><b>Read more about securing your wallet</b></a>.</p>
+<p>Like in real life, your wallet must be secured. Bitcoin allows you to transfer value worldwide easier than ever. Such great features also come with great security concerns. At the same time, Bitcoin can provide very high levels of security if used correctly. Always remember that it is your responsibility to adopt good practices in order to protect your money. <a href="/en/secure-your-wallet"><b>Read more about securing your wallet</b></a>.</p>
@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

I think we shouldn't use "you" here, because this sentence should mean "anyone can transfer value easier than ever, therefore that also includes thieves". Also if we change this sentence, it also needs to be changed in secure-your-wallet.html
@saivann
Contributor

saivann commented Apr 24, 2013

You might also want to apply the same changes you applied to /en/index.html to /index.html . /index.html is the one that will appear in Google search results.
@saivann
Contributor

saivann commented Apr 24, 2013

Thanks for all these improvements!

@saracen saracen and 4 others commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/index.html
@@ -1,15 +1,15 @@
---
layout: base-en
id: index
-title: Bitcoin - Open source P2P digital currency
+title: Bitcoin - Open-source P2P digital currency
@saracen

saracen Apr 24, 2013

Not sure how the translation system works, but I'm guessing this change may cause an issue?

@luke-jr

luke-jr Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

In any case, "open source" is correct - there is no hyphen!

@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

Open-source most probably don't need hyphen in other languages, so this change won't require translation.

@luke-jr it has been suggested a few times to use either "open source" or "open-source" and "peer to peer" or "peer-to-peer" everywhere for consistency. And I agree with this. Unless there is a subtle rule that would requires us to use both depending of the context.

@luke-jr

luke-jr Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

Sure, but a hyphen is (always) wrong for open source...

@paulogeyer

paulogeyer Apr 25, 2013

@saracen that doesn't affect translation

@luke-jr looking at the wikipedia article, seems that "open-source" is correct too, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_source, but "open source" is fine to me

PS: by correct I mean, they are using in a wikipedia article

@saivann

saivann Apr 25, 2013

Contributor

Even the open source initiative uses both : http://opensource.org/osd
I suggest using "Open source" in titles and "open-source" everywhere else. From what I see, the use of "open-source" seems to be prefered in when used as a direct adjective (ex. an open-source software) but not quite often in other cases (This is open source).

@paulogeyer

paulogeyer Apr 25, 2013

+1 @saivann
makes sense to me (searched for some grammar rules about hyphen, but TL;DR)

@saracen

saracen Apr 25, 2013

The OED uses open-source for its entry. I don't particularly mind; consistency is more important. However, to avoid problems in the future it might be best to choose a specific authoritative dictionary. For British English, it would be the OED. No idea what the American English dictionary of choice would be. American Heritage? Merriam-Webster?

@saivann

saivann Apr 25, 2013

Contributor

Since we know that both are OK, let's stick to "Open source" for titles and keep "open-source" everywhere for now. This is already more consistent and good looking than before.

@saivann

saivann Apr 25, 2013

Contributor

I wouldn't be able to suggest an authoritative english dictionnary, unfortunately. But that is indeed a good idea.

@mikegogulski

mikegogulski Apr 25, 2013

Contributor

There is no such thing as an "authoritative dictionary" for the English language. See prescriptive versus descriptive linguistics/lexicology. If the Oxford dinosaurs have screwed up, whatever with them. In some cases there is no readily articulable rule, but native English speakers nonetheless tend to converge on a common usage for new terms in which those using the "lesser" rendering end up changing their minds upon thoughtful questioning.

"Open source", as Luke says, is the only possible correct rendering. Compare, e.g., in contradistinction, things like "potato-based" and "cat-friendly", which are adj. + past part. -> adj. and n. + adj. -> adj., respectively. "Open source" is adj. + n. -> adj., and treated differently, though in my present drunken state I am challenged to find a parallel form of an unhyphenated compound adjective.

I'm not volunteering for the role, but I've done about 4 years of professional SK/CZ->EN translation as well as lots of EN correction. The EN text, if it's to be accurate and a solid source for translation into other languages, should have the attention of a native English-speaking (adj. + [n.-pres. part.] -> adj.[!]) professional linguist/translator/copyeditor, or at least someone thoroughly versed in the field.

Also, in the industry, "proofreader" leans toward a lesser competency than "copyeditor" or the others, concerning itself principally with last-minute remedies, at which point layout is committed, for typos and punctuation just before commitment to a print run, whereas the others are free to make wordsmithing changes to usage, idiom, flow etc. Therefore, layout-insensitive ([n.prep.]-adj. -> adj.[!!!]) web text generally demands a copyeditor but not a proofreader, according to industry-standard (o.m.g.-not-again[!]) terminology.

@saracen

saracen Apr 25, 2013

There is no such thing as an "authoritative dictionary", correct. Notice that I mentioned it would be best to "choose a specific authoritative dictionary". A project may choose a dictionary and label it as such, to avoid the never-ending arguments that are bound to happen as a result of everybody having a personal preference or the desire to argue non-productive points. The dinosaurs might have screwed up, just like the programming style guide authors that have elected the use of space indentation over tabs, but following the dinosaurs is better than seeking validation from the GitHub drunk every time an issue is raised.

The spelling of open source could depend upon the context, for example:

out of date (three words, hyphens when attrib.)

Her wardrobe must be out of date.
An out-of-date passport.

open air (two words, hyphen when attrib.)

Getting out in the open air.
An open-air swimming pool.

For open source (this is the rule Wikipedia follows):

Open source is a philosophy.
This is open-source software.

luke-jr mentioned this and is correct. However, given this is a collaborative effort, it may be difficult to explain the concept to everybody. Using one consistent spelling might be better than many people incorrectly using inconsistent spellings. I'm happy to change it to "open source" or edit based upon the context.

@saivann

saivann Apr 25, 2013

Contributor

As I said, let's stick to "Open source" for titles and keep "open-source" everywhere" for now. Sure it's great to have experts. But meanwhile, such subtle details won't have much consequence (if any) and have zero effects on translations. Let's keep our attention on to the priorities. I don't think it's worth spending more time delaying this pull request. We can discuss this on a seperate issue if you feel it's worth.

@saracen : Can you fix the 3 last remaining comments? After that, I will take care to resolve conflicts and merge your branch. Thanks for this great work!

@luke-jr luke-jr commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/about.html
@@ -7,8 +7,8 @@
<h2>A bit of history</h2>
<p>Bitcoin is one of the first implementations of a concept called crypto-currency, which was first described in 1998 by Wei Dai on the cypherpunks mailing list. Building upon the notion that money is any object, or any sort of record, accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a given country or socio-economic context, Bitcoin is designed around the idea of a new form of money that uses cryptography to control its creation and transactions, rather than relying on central authorities.</p>
-<p>In 2009, the first Bitcoin specification and proof of concept was published in a Cryptography mailing list by a member under the pseudonym of Satoshi Nakamoto. Towards the end of 2010 Satoshi left the project saying he had moved on to other things. The creator of Bitcoin never revealed his identity and simply left his invention to the world. The origin and the motivation behind Bitcoin is still today a great source of mystery.</p>
-<p>Since 2010, the Bitcoin community has grown with many developers working on the project. During June and July 2011, Bitcoin suddenly gained media attention leading to a massive buy rally. The resulting bubble slowly deflated through the latter part of 2011 and the value of Bitcoin has since slowly climbed once again back to its 2011 heights.</p>
+<p>In 2009, the first Bitcoin specification and proof of concept was published in a cryptography mailing list by a member under the pseudonym of Satoshi Nakamoto. Towards the end of 2010 Satoshi left the project, saying he had moved on to other things. The creator of Bitcoin never revealed his identity and simply left his invention to the world. The origin and the motivation behind Bitcoin are still today a great source of mystery.</p>
+<p>Since 2010 the Bitcoin community has grown, with many developers working on the project. During June and July 2011, Bitcoin suddenly gained media attention leading to a massive buy rally. The resulting bubble slowly deflated through the latter part of 2011, and since then the value of Bitcoin has slowly climbed once again back to its 2011 heights.</p>
@luke-jr

luke-jr Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

The comma after 2010 was correct.

@luke-jr luke-jr and 1 other commented on an outdated diff Apr 24, 2013

en/bitcoin-for-businesses.html
<h2><img src="/img/ico_transparency.svg" alt="Transparency" />Accounting transparency</h2>
-<p>Many organizations are required to produce accounting documents about their activity and to adopt good transparency practices. Using Bitcoin offers the highest level of transparency since your balance and your transactions are public for your members if you keep them aware of your Bitcoin addresses.</p>
+<p>Many organizations are required to produce accounting documents about their activity and to adopt good transparency practices. Using Bitcoin offers the highest level of transparency since your balance and your transactions are public for your members, if you keep them aware of your Bitcoin addresses.</p>
@luke-jr

luke-jr Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

Suggest "... for your members so long as you keep them aware ..."

@saivann

saivann Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

+1 for @luke-jr suggestion

@saivann saivann closed this in 269e2ee Apr 25, 2013

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