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commit dad2b557b16004ff4adf464ccc3180cd60811fd7 0 parents
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1  .gitignore
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+.DS_Store
8 LICENSE.txt
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+Copyright (c) 2012, Brian Shumate
+All rights reserved.
+
+Redistribution and use in source and binary forms, with or without modification, are permitted provided that the following conditions are met:
+Redistributions of source code must retain the above copyright notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer.
+Redistributions in binary form must reproduce the above copyright notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution.
+
+THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED BY THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS AND CONTRIBUTORS "AS IS" AND ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE ARE DISCLAIMED. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE COPYRIGHT HOLDER OR CONTRIBUTORS BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS OR SERVICES; LOSS OF USE, DATA, OR PROFITS; OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION) HOWEVER CAUSED AND ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, WHETHER IN CONTRACT, STRICT LIABILITY, OR TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE) ARISING IN ANY WAY OUT OF THE USE OF THIS SOFTWARE, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.
7 README.markdown
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+# Synergipsum
+
+This module returns strings of awful synergy speak, like you'd expect to read from some technoweenie blogger pundit, management type, or Silicon Valley angel investor.
+
+It exports a `generate` function, which takes an argument for the number of paragraphs of blather you'd like
+
+Maybe it will do more later, and the vocabulary will definitely continue to be expanded.
104 lib/synergipsum.js
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+var adjectives = new Array("24/7", "24/7/365", "accurate", "adaptive", "alternative", "an expanded array of", "B2B", "B2C", "backend", "backward-compatible", "best-of-breed", "bleeding-edge", "bricks-and-clicks", "business", "clicks-and-mortar", "client-based", "client-centered", "client-centric", "client-focused", "collaborative", "compelling", "competitive", "cooperative", "corporate", "cost effective", "covalent", "cross functional", "cross-media", "cross-platform", "cross-unit", "customer directed", "customized", "cutting-edge", "distinctive", "distributed", "diverse", "dynamic", "e-business", "economically sound", "effective", "efficient", "emerging", "empowered", "enabled", "end-to-end", "enterprise", "enterprise-wide", "epic", "equity invested", "error-free", "ethical", "excellent", "exceptional", "extensible", "extensive", "flexible", "focused", "frictionless", "front-end", "fully researched", "fully tested", "functional", "functionalized", "future-proof", "global", "go forward", "geofenced", "goal-oriented", "granular", "high standards in", "high-payoff", "high-quality", "highly efficient", "HTML5", "holistic", "impactful", "inexpensive", "innovative", "installed base", "integrated", "interactive", "interdependent", "intermandated", "interoperable", "intuitive", "just in time", "leading-edge", "leveraged", "long-term high-impact", "low-risk high-yield", "magnetic", "maintainable", "market positioning", "market-driven", "mission-critical", "multidisciplinary", "multifunctional", "multimedia based", "next-generation", "one-to-one", "open-source", "optimal", "orthogonal", "out-of-the-box", "pandemic", "parallel", "performance based", "pivotal", "plug-and-play", "premier", "premium", "principle-centered", "proactive", "process-centric", "professional", "progressive", "prospective", "quality", "real-time", "reliable", "resource sucking", "resource maximizing", "resource-leveling", "revolutionary", "robust", "scalable", "seamless", "social", "social-aware", "geo-social", "stand-alone", "standardized", "standards compliant", "state of the art", "sticky", "strategic", "superior", "sustainable", "synergistic", "tactical", "team building", "team driven", "technically sound", "timely", "top-line", "transparent", "turnkey", "ubiquitous", "unique", "user-centric", "user friendly", "value-added", "vertical", "viral", "virtual", "visionary", "web-enabled", "wireless", "world-class", "worldwide", "2.0", "3.0"),
+ adverbs = new Array ("appropriately", "assertively", "authoritatively", "collaboratively", "cooperatively", "compellingly", "competently", "completely", "continually", "conveniently", "credibly", "distinctively", "dramatically", "dynamically", "efficiently", "energistically", "enthusiastically", "epically", "globally", "holisticly", "interactively", "intrinsicly", "monotonectally", "objectively", "phosfluorescently", "proactively", "professionally", "progressively", "quickly", "rapidiously", "seamlessly", "synergistically", "uniquely");
+ conjunctions = new Array("apropos", "in lieu of", "through", "via", "vis-a-vis", "with", "without", "and", "before", "after", "whereas", "for", "rather than"),
+ nouns = new Array("action items", "alignments", "applications", "app stores", "architectures", "bandwidth", "benefits", "best practices", "catalysts for change", "channels", "collaboration and idea-sharing", "communities", "content", "convergence", "core competencies", "customer service", "DSLs", "data", "deliverables", "devops teams", "e-business", "e-commerce", "e-markets", "e-tailers", "e-services", "event loops", "experiences", "expertise", "functionalities", "growth strategies", "human capital", "ideas", "imperatives", "impetus", "infomediaries", "information", "infrastructures", "initiatives", "innovation", "intellectual capital", "interfaces", "internal or \'organic\' sources", "leadership", "leadership skills", "manufactured products", "markets", "materials", "meta-services", "methodologies", "methods of empowerment", "metrics", "mindshare", "mobile apps", "models", "networks", "niches", "niche markets", "offshoring", "opportunities", "\'outside the box\' thinking", "outsourcing", "paradigms", "partnerships", "platforms", "portals", "potentialities", "process improvements", "processes", "products", "quality vectors", "relationships", "resources", "results", "ROI", "scenarios", "schemas", "services", "solutions", "sources", "strategic theme areas", "supply chains", "synergy", "systems", "system logs", "technologies", "technology", "testing procedures", "total linkage", "users", "value", "vortals", "web-readiness", "web services", "web caching engines"),
+ verbs = new Array("actualize", "administrate", "aggregate", "architect", "benchmark", "brand", "build", "communicate", "conceptualize", "coordinate", "create", "cultivate", "customize", "deliver", "deploy", "develop", "disintermediate", "disseminate", "drive", "embrace", "e-enable", "empower", "enable", "engage", "engineer", "enhance", "envisioneer", "evisculate", "evolve", "expedite", "exploit", "extend", "fabricate", "facilitate", "fashion", "formulate", "foster", "generate", "grow", "harness", "impact", "implement", "incentivize", "incubate", "initiate", "innovate", "integrate", "iterate", "leverage existing", "leverage other\'s", "leverage all", "leverage most", "leverage some", "maintain", "matrix", "maximize", "mesh", "monetize", "morph", "myocardinate", "negotiate", "network", "optimize", "orchestrate", "parallel task", "plagiarize", "pontificate", "predominate", "procrastinate", "productivate", "productize", "promote", "provide access to", "pursue", "recaptiualize", "reconceptualize", "redefine", "re-engineer", "reintermediate", "reinvent", "repurpose", "restore", "revolutionize", "scale", "seize", "simplify", "strategize", "streamline", "supply", "syndicate", "synergize", "synthesize", "target", "transform", "transition", "underwhelm", "unleash", "utilize", "visualize", "whiteboard", "workshop"),
+ paras = '';
+
+function capitalize(str) {
+ tmpstr = str.toLowerCase();
+ tmpchar = tmpstr.substring(0, 1).toUpperCase();
+ poststring = tmpstr.substring(1, str.length);
+ tmpstr = tmpchar + poststring;
+ str = tmpstr;
+
+ return str;
+}
+
+function randArray(arr) {
+ var pick = Math.floor(Math.random() * arr.length);
+ return arr[pick];
+}
+
+function synergize() {
+ var synergy = '';
+
+ var adverb = randArray(adverbs);
+ adverb = capitalize(adverb);
+ synergy = adverb;
+
+ var verb = randArray(verbs);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + verb;
+
+ var adjective = randArray(adjectives);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + adjective;
+
+ var noun = randArray(nouns);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + noun;
+
+ var conjunction = randArray(conjunctions);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + conjunction;
+
+ adjective = randArray(adjectives);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + adjective;
+ noun = randArray(nouns);
+ synergy = synergy + ' ' + noun;
+ synergy = synergy + '. ';
+
+ return synergy;
+}
+
+module.exports.generate = function(paras) {
+ if (paras == 0)
+ console.log('Puny paragraph count detected: ' + paras + ', setting to 3...')
+ var parasvalue = 3;
+
+ if (paras)
+ var parasvalue = paras;
+ else {
+ var parasvalue = 3;
+ }
+
+ var ipsum = '',
+ sentencecount = 3,
+ tmptxt = '',
+ wordcount = parasvalue * 3;
+
+ for (i = 1; i <= wordcount; i++) {
+
+ tmptxt = tmptxt + synergize();
+
+ if(i % sentencecount === 0) {
+ tmptxt = tmptxt + "\n\n";
+ }
+ ipsum = ipsum + tmptxt;
+ tmptxt = '';
+ }
+
+ var words = tmptxt.split(' ');
+
+ for(j = 0; j < wordcount; j++) {
+ ipsum = ipsum + words[j] + ' ';
+ }
+ ipsum = ipsum.substring(0, ipsum.lastIndexOf('.') + 1);
+
+ var sepwords = ipsum.split(' '),
+ parasep = ipsum.split("\n\n"),
+ paracount = parasep.length,
+ paraplural = 's',
+ wordtotal = sepwords.length;
+
+ if (wordtotal == 1) {
+ paracount = 0;
+ wordtotal = 0;
+ }
+
+ if (paracount <= 1)
+ paraplural = '';
+
+ var stats = paracount + ' paragraph' + paraplural + ' / ' + wordtotal + ' words';
+
+ console.log('Synergipsum: chunk barfed up with these characteristics: ' + stats);
+
+ return ipsum;
+}
43 package.json
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+{
+ "name": "synergipsum",
+ "version": "0.0.4",
+ "description": "Generate Lorem Ipsum placeholder text with high tech biz speak, just like Bill Lumberg would say!",
+ "keywords": [
+ "Lorem Ipsum",
+ "synergy speak",
+ "silicon valley",
+ "Bill Lumberg"
+ ],
+ "maintainers": [{
+ "name": "Brian Shumate",
+ "email": "brian@brianshumate.com",
+ "url": "http://brianshumate.com"
+ }],
+ "contributors": [{}],
+ "bugs": {
+ "email": "brian@brianshumate.com",
+ "url": "http://github.com/brianshumate/synergipsum/issues"
+ },
+ "licenses": [
+ {
+ "type": "BSD",
+ "url": "http://github.com/brianshumate/synergipsum/blob/master/LICENSE.txt"
+ }
+ ],
+ "repositories": [
+ {
+ "type": "git",
+ "url": "http://github.com/brianshumate/synergipsum.git"
+ }
+ ],
+ "implements": [],
+ "dependencies": {
+ "console.log" : "*"
+ },
+ "devDependencies" : {
+ "console.log" : "*"
+ },
+ "engines" : { "node" : ">=0.6.4" },
+ "directories": {},
+ "main": "./lib/synergipsum"
+}
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