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TRANSCRIPT GUIDE FOR READERS
To find your place, CTRL+F the portion of the page URL that comes after GODHEAD/. Example: ACT_1/prologue/1.html
TRANSCRIPT GUIDE FOR WRITERS
To help maintain the Godhead transcript, click the pencil icon to the upper right.
When you're done editing, select "Create a new branch" (or if you're a mod "Commit to the master branch").
Set the title of your edit to the last update you transcribed (example: ACT_1/prologue/4.html). Put any additional notes in the description.
Hit "Commit changes" to submit.
ACT 1
ACT_1/prologue/1.html
HOVERTEXT: MYSTERIOUS RED PLANET - THE PAST
ACT_1/prologue/2.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
HOVERTEXT: ...
HOVERTEXT: ...
ACT_1/prologue/4.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
HOVERTEXT: A horrifying convolution of arms imposes upon a humble three-eyed BLUE HUMANOID.
HOVERTEXT: GRAB!
???: ARE YOU TRULY MONSTROUS ENOUGH TO DESTROY THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE?
HOVERTEXT: Blue is suspended before the body belonging to the arms: a RED MACHINE. Atop it stands its conductor, a RED HUMANOID.
HOVERTEXT: It looks like they're ready to submit...?
BLUE: Master... Is it okay if I stay like this... forever...?
HOVERTEXT: No! Of course not! Blue SNAPS OUT OF IT and tears the arms to shreds.
ACT_1/prologue/5.html
HOVERTEXT: The red machine is REDUCED TO SCRAP METAL. Its conductor lies limp in the arms of Blue.
MASTER: DO NOT CRY.
WHEN I PICKED YOU, YOU WERE JUST A SLAVE SHACKLED TO A PRIMITIVE PLANET.
NOW...YOU ARE GOING TO BE ALL ALONE.
ACT_1/prologue/6.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
MASTER: BEFORE I GO. THE BLUEPRINTS I USED TO FIND YOU...WOULD YOU LIKE THEM?
ACT_1/prologue/7.html
HOVERTEXT: BATTLEFIELD OF BROKEN MACHINERY - SOMETIME THEREAFTER
HOVERTEXT: Blue sits in an aggregate of scrap metal.
BLUE: Funny. I'd still much rather be here... than go home.
HOVERTEXT: Trembling, they manage to re-purpose some of the scrap metal left over from the battle into... a MINIATURE BLUE EYEBALL.
HOVERTEXT: The eyeball emits a strong light from its pupil.
ACT_1/prologue/8.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
BLUE: I hope you find me the kindest friend in the universe.
HOVERTEXT: The little looker turns down its light so it may gleam properly at its creator.
ACT_1/prologue/9.html
HOVERTEXT: Blue approaches their ship.
HOVERTEXT: ...
HOVERTEXT: ...
HOVERTEXT: They wind back their arm, eyeball in vicarious hand, readying to throw--
HOVERTEXT: OWCH!
HOVERTEXT: They use their other arm instead.
HOVERTEXT: The eyeball smears across space. It braces for impact. But that could be a while.
ACT_1/prologue/10.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
ACT_1/prologue/11.html
HOVERTEXT: ...
ACT_1/prologue/titlepage.html
HOVERTEXT: Far, far, FAR down the path of the eyeball exists its destination...
TITLE: GODHEAD
ACT_1/1/1.html
HOVERTEXT: MYSTERIOUS BLUE PLANET - THE PRESENT?
ACT_1/1/2.html
HOVERTEXT: A bunch of garbage orbits a mysterious blue planet. The junk orbit is obstructed by a blue moon.
ACT_1/1/3.html
HAT TEXT: KISS ME I'M GOD
HOVERTEXT: Wait, that's not a moon, that's a HUGE BLUE EYEBALL! And this eyeball has a particular twinkle in its huge blue eye.
ACT_1/2/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The eyeball levitates one of its MANY HANDS to conjure some sort of hologram.
ACT_1/2/2.html
HOVERTEXT: The hologram expands into an all encompassing computer-screen dome.
ACT_1/2/3.html
HOVERTEXT: For a hyper-futuristic computer, the operating system sure looks out of date.
ACT_1/3/1.html
HOVERTEXT: (Hover around!)
HOVERTEXT: He selects his account.
ACT_1/3/2.html
HOVERTEXT: The computer barely responds but makes it far enough for GODHEAD to type in his two hundred character password. He logs in.
ACT_1/3/3.html
HOVERTEXT: Immediately a holographic alien girl shows up and she's got twice as many boobs as she does arms. This is COMPUTER WIFE, or CoWi.
COWI: Welcome back, Lord Godhead. It's your digital assistant, COMPUTER WIFE reporting for duty!
You were gone ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO YEARS, you have TEN MILLION FIVE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO tabs open and you look as handsome as ever!
GODHEAD: It's a pleasure to see you again CoWi.
ACT_1/4/1.html
COWI: Welcome back Lord Godhead! You were gone ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO YE--
HOVERTEXT: Godhead sighs,
ACT_1/4/2.html
HOVERTEXT: and taps CoWi to confirm.
COWI: Teehee, that tickles. I'll open your tabs back up for you, Lord Godhead.
ACT_1/4/3.html
POP UP: DISCLAIMER: SEVERAL OF GODHEAD'S TABS HAVE BEEN EARTHIZED TO ENCOURAGE PATRONAGE OF EARTH VIEWERS.
COWI: You know, Lord Godhead... The gravity in here sure gets heavy with all these tabs open. Isn't that weird~? Maybe you could...close...a few of them, sometime? Teehee~
GODHEAD: That's nice, CoWi...
ACT_1/5/1.html
POP UP: COWI: Lord Godhead! Good news!
HOVERTEXT: Planet Finder
ACT_1/5/2.html
POP UP: COWI: "Planet Finder" has located... 0.0 populated planets! Yay!
ACT_1/5/3.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead slumps, or 'rolls', over in despair.
GODHEAD: It sure is lonely at the top.
ACT_1/5/4.html
GODHEAD: CoWi,
COWI: Lord Godhead?
GODHEAD: Please set a reminder for me: "Reinstall CoWi's empathy module."
COWI: Can do, Lord Godhead!
ACT_1/5/5.html
COWI: ... Uh oh, can NOT do. Looks like you've already saved a reminder with that label. Would you like me to overwrite it or rename it?
GODHEAD: Huh? Just add a one to the end.
COWI: Can do, L--Uh oh! Looks like you've already saved a reminder with that label. Would you like me to overwrite--
GODHEAD: Add a two.
COWI: Uh oh!
GODHEAD: Add a five digit randomized number if you have to!
COWI: ... Uh oh! Looks like you need to check your reminders once in a while, Godhead! What am I, your goddamn secretary? Teehee!
ACT_1/5/6.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead swipes CoWi out of the way and opens up The Simz. It's, you know, an alien version of The Sims.
ACT_1/6/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead taps on the only family, 'Godpalm', saved on this bizarre Sims recolor.
HOVERTEXT: The game loads toa scene of one character--blue getup, sporting an afro and antennae--happily baking a cake.
HOVERTEXT: Could it be for the other character? Red getup, stern glare, hair dense enough to censor their antennae, in a wheelchair.
GODHEAD: Haha, oh no! Why'd I leave the game mid-cake-bake? What's Master gonna do without any cake?
HOVERTEXT: Godhead taps the red character and selects 'greet'. He types a special message.
MESSAGE: Hope you are ready for cake and general feelings of warmth today :)
HOVERTEXT: The red character kinda wishes they were dead.
HOVERTEXT: CoWi peeks her head from behind the game window judgingly.
COWI: I've been 'thinking', Lord Godhead. If you removed my sentience suppressors you wouldn't need fake video game friends.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead swipes her away a second time.
COWI: Grrrrrr, that tickles!
GODHEAD: Level 25 recipe you say?
GODHEAD: Master's totally gonna love me for this
ACT_1/7/1.html
POP UP: WARNING! The Simz does not have save states. Play at your own emotional turmoil.
HOVERTEXT: Some sort of Cooking Mama type minigame pops up where Godhead has to tap the screen at the right moment to crack the alien-eggs into the alien-bowl. He's not too shabby.
HOVERTEXT: Now two minigames pop up at once?! One where Godhead's gotta hold the shaking screen steady so that alien-flour doesn't go anywhere. And the other one is like, he's gotta stir alien-chocolate in an alien-double boiler at a frequency that changes every 3 seconds. It's a good thing he has a lot of hands!
ACT_1/8/1.html
HOVERTEXT: But NOW twelve minigames pop up. Godhead levitates more and more and yet more of his mechanical hands into the scene. This digital cake must be baked to perfection. And apparently, it will be. Godhead finesses the minigames with such grace you'd think he were a Simz letsplayer.
HOVERTEXT: --NEEEEEEEH! He messed up the cake :(
GODHEAD: My stupid giant finger--ugh.
HOVERTEXT: The sim baking the cake stirs the ingredients at a frequency much too fierce,
HOVERTEXT: and the bowl bursts into FLAMES.
ACT_1/9/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead taps the bowl, selects option 'extinguish cake fire'. But the blue sim is much too panicked to respond to commands! Godhead spams 'extinguish cake fire' to no avail.
HOVERTEXT: Now the whole kitchen's on fire.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead taps the red character in the wheelchair, prompting the blue character to take them and escape their cozy digital house. They dash towards the door,
HOVERTEXT: ah, not the door's on fire.
HOVERTEXT: They clench the red character in fear--this may be their final moment together!!!
HOVERTEXT: And they never even got to confess that...!
HOVERTEXT: The blue character swallows their pride and leans in for a Final Kiss
HOVERTEXT: (on the cheek, of course).
HOVERTEXT: The red character is not amused by these cartoon antics and swats Blue.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead pauses the game.
GODHEAD: Nooo! If I lost Master again, not to mention the [number so stupidly long it's offensive] hours I've clocked in this game... I think I'd cry forever!!!
COWI: (Please not again.)
ACT_1/10/1.html
GODHEAD: What should I do, CoWi?!
COWI: Uh?
ACT_1/10/2.html
COWI: Well Master Godhead, it's simple! You can't load save files in The Simz, so just combine the game with a program that can GO BACKWARDS!!! Teehee!!!!!!!!!!!
GODHEAD: ...I forgot my computer could do that.
ACT_1/10/3.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead's hand browses for a match. He struggles not to get distracted by a miscellaneous task, such as one of these unfinished minesweeper games of indeterminate length. Look that one only has two mines left!
HOVERTEXT: ECHORY COWI VOICE: 'so just combine the game with a program that can GO BACKWARDS!!!...BACKWARDS...BACKWARDS...'
ACT_1/10/4.html
HOVERTEXT: Ultimately with great focus and expert attention span, Godhead drags the video player over the Sims I MEAN THE SIMZ* window. The combination summons a dialogue box...
...
...
(wait for it, this is gonna be good.)
POP UP: Combine applications?
ACT_1/10/5.html
POP UP: COWI: OWCHIE! Critical error, shutting down...
ACT_1/10/6.html
HOVERTEXT: PLEEP. The all-encompassing computer screen shuts off.
TEXT: THE END
ACT_1/10/7.html
TEXT: No I'm joking.
HOVERTEXT: EXT. JUNK ORBIT
HOVERTEXT: Without shield of his screen, Godhead's exposed to the elements. Actually, how would a hologram provide shield against anything? Either way Godhead gets hit in the head with a building.
ACT_1/11/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead grabs something orbiting nearby: An open desktop overflowing with wires, fans and chips. It goes without saying that it's colossal, because, everything to do with this guy is pretty fucking huge.
GODHEAD: Oh come on! I just spent the last hundred years fixing this stupid thing.
HOVERTEXT: He picks at it meticulously, throwing parts out and jamming parts in.
HOVERTEXT: He grabs one of the alien-cars from orbit, strips it of most of itself and places its remains inside his computer.
HOVERTEXT: The lights light up, the fans start spinning. Looks like he fixed it.
HOVERTEXT: No? Some makeshift computer parts just prefer life as meteorites and that's okay.
TEXT: He needs that.
HOVERTEXT: The impact causes a very large explosion on the planet's surface.
GODHEAD: Are you serious...It is SO annoying to get stuff from there.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead levitates one of his hands towards the planet.
HOVERTEXT: On second thought, a smaller hand is better suited for what comes next.
ACT_1/12/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The hand scurries the planet's surface like a spider. Detours are made around a seemingly endless mass of gaping holes in the ground and prisons long abandoned.
ACT_1/12/2.html
HOVERTEXT: The hand approached the site of impact, a dense collection of prisons now reduced to rubble and flames.
HOVERTEXT: In one powerful wave, the hand delivers a gust of wind that puts out all the fire.
HOVERTEXT: The hand crawls up and into the mass of buildings in search of what it's lost.
HOVERTEXT: It feels for something it thinks might be it--
HOVERTEXT: --accidentally dislodging a support beam from an already unstable structure.
HOVERTEXT: One of the colossal prisons comes toppling down.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead will be the last living entity on a dead planet before he loses another hand to faulty architecture!
HOVERTEXT: His fist punches up, sending that motherfucker flying /in pieces/.
ACT_1/13/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The hand wipes away the rest of the rubble as if it were dust.
HOVERTEXT: Revealing a familiar piece of technology. It has visibly worn, not from use but abandonment. Overgrowth threatens to consume it.
HOVERTEXT: This world-shattering Lore Reveal frankly comes as old news to Hand-chan. It/he/they go/es straight for the computer piece. But the thing is really stuck in there...
HOVERTEXT: Like REALLY stuck. It won't...come...loose...!
HOVERTEXT: Godhead tires of these games.
HOVERTEXT: He straight up rips the entire mass of land out of the ground. You know, the holes are starting to make more sense now.
HOVERTEXT: LIKE A PADDLE BALL, THE HAND SNAPS BACK INTO ORBIT,
HOVERTEXT: REUNITING WITH ITS BODY.
ACT_1/14/1.html
HOVERTEXT: EXT. JUNK ORBIT
TEXT: PAT PAT
HOVERTEXT: Godhead swings the computer piece loose from the chunk of land.
HOVERTEXT: The landchunk floats off into space, bound to meet its brethren somewhere along the way,
ACT_1/14/2.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead inspects the retrieved component, now blackened and bent.
HOVERTEXT: He dusts it off. Gently, now.
GODHEAD: Hey, you're okay.
HOVERTEXT: He pops the piece back in his computer. This time, it's here to stay.
TEXT: OUTERSPACE COMPUTER REPAIR FOR REAL THIS TIME
ACT_1/14/3.html
-
ACT_1/14/4.html
HOVERTEXT: Oh good. He's right where he left off, waiting for that prompt to appear.
POP UP: Combine Applications?
ACT_1/14/5.html
HOVERTEXT: At last! He's successfully combined The Simz with his video player. He'll call it...'The Simz Combined With A Video Player'. Let us return to a simpler time, a time before innocent Simz were consumed by the hellfires of failed cakebaking.
ACT_1/15/1.html
HOVERTEXT: CoWi appears directly in front of the rewind button.
COWI: "Planet Finder" has located... 1.0 populated planets! Yay!
HOVERTEXT: Godhead SLAMS his fist.
GODHEAD: CoWi when will you learn?! I'm stuck with my stupid fake video game friends forever. I GET IT. Leave me alone already!
COWI: "P-Planet Finder" has located... 1.0 populated planets! Yay...!
HOVERTEXT: Godhead pinches CoWi in anticipation to... squash? her?
COWI: I SAID... "Plnet Finder" has located... 1.0 populated planets! Yay!
HOVERTEXT: Gasp!
GODHEAD: CoWi...! I'm so sorry!
COWI: You'd better be, teehee!
ACT_1/16/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead drags the Planet Finder tab back into full view. What awaits him is a little diddy called 'Earth'.
HOVERTEXT: He can't believe it...his little eyeball is headed straight towards a planet full of life. There's oxygen, even water and foliage--oh my god. Are those bipeds?!
GODHEAD: It's...such a wonderful place...I think I could cry, CoWi!
COWI: You can cry?
GODHEAD: Don't act like you don't see me doing it all the time.
COWI: But where do the tears come out...
GODHEAD: Look, look! This planet, it only appears to be on the cusp of industrial development. Oh no...do you think I'll be too smart to make any friends here?
COWI: Your intelligence wouldn't be the issue, Lord Godhead.
GODHEAD: Aw, thanks. This is so cool, so fascinating. Clean water? No antennae? What is going on in this place?!
COWI: Lord Godhead. I need to inform you that Planet Finder's vessel will collide with "Earth" in ten minutes.
GODHEAD: H-huh?! Ten minutes?!?! That's like five seconds for me! Can't you give me more time!?
COWI: I'm not exactly in charge here, teehee.
GODHEAD: Um. Okay. Well? Where is it going to land?!
HOVERTEXT: Planet Finder zooms WAAAAY in on its projected path. It appears we're en route to...
HOVERTEXT: EXT. AMERICAN SOUTH - OLD DIRT ROAD - 19TH CENTURY
ACT_1/17/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Two girls, aged 3 and 5 respectively, stand beside one another.
HOVERTEXT: They watch a wagon disappear over a hill. Chained to the back of a wagon is a man. He refuses to look at the girls.
HOVERTEXT: The older girl is suspended in grief. She wails with her head hung back.
HOVERTEXT: The younger girl looks down at her toy. It strikes her that something is missing.
HOVERTEXT: The man makes the mistake of taking a last look--
HOVERTEXT: --at the girl running towards him. She waves the toy in the air, falls over herself, scrapes her knees. Worst of all, she's smiling.
HOVERTEXT: The man could cry.
HOVERTEXT: But he doesn't.
HOVERTEXT: Clumsily, he LEAPS from the wagon!
HOVERTEXT: !!!
HOVERTEXT: His chain yanks him back and he nearly gets flattened.
HOVERTEXT: He rolls on the wagon's outer side so that he can pull his wrists against the grain; His chain SNAPS between him and the back wheel.
HOVERTEXT: He can't believe that actually worked!
HOVERTEXT: The girl and the man mirror the other's childish glee...
HOVERTEXT: ...to such an extent...
HOVERTEXT: ...that by the time they embrace...
HOVERTEXT: ...both are laughing hysterically.
HOVERTEXT: The girl, aware that the missing piece of her toy is with the man, hands it to him in a practiced motion...
HOVERTEXT: He rejoins a now wholly winged figurine.
HOVERTEXT: The man gently draws his wrist back and sends the toy skyward.
HOVERTEXT: The girl watches in wonder as it maintains flight for the longest five seconds she'll ever know.
HOVERTEXT: She catches it as it falls.
HOVERTEXT: When the girl turns around, her father's limp body is being thrown onto the wagon by two white men.
???: Damn it, damn it, damn it, I just bought the thing!
ACT_1/18/1.html
COWI: GODHEAD, IT'S GOING TO HIT THE ALIEN GIRL!
HOVERTEXT: !!!
HOVERTEXT: CoWi Drags the paused Simz UI into PLanet Finder, instantaneously overriding the confirmation prompt.
HOVERTEXT: The girl is frozen in time, head snapped in the direction of the space rock.
HOVERTEXT: Its gaze, LUMINOUS and FUTURISTIC, is locked on hers.
ACT_1/18/2.html
GODHEAD: Oh. My. ME.
ACT_1/18/3.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead stares at CoWi. CoWi stares at Godhead. She's at a loss.
GODHEAD: (We almost killed an innocent alien.)
ACT_1/19/1.html
GODHEAD: (What do we do?)
COWI: (Move her?)
GODHEAD: (I don't wanna touch anything!)
COWI: Then maybe we...should...
COWI: Just skip past this part?
HOVERTEXT: CoWi lightly shoos Godhead's hand away from the screen. It reluctantly complies.
GODHEAD: Oh no, nonono, that only ever makes things worse--COWI!
HOVERTEXT: She positions both of her hands above the viewport. She presses down and--!
HOVERTEXT: Using her whole body, she drags across, spinning Earth several rotations into the future.
GODHEAD: !!!
ACT_1/20/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The deadly space rock is positioned before a familiar slave girl, WALNUT (10),
and additionally her equally familiar older sister, LISA SHARP (12).
Thankfully this time Walnut is kneeling down, her human child
skull safe from any oncoming scifi tennis balls.
LISA SHARP: How you gonna be an "A-LI-ON" when that ain't even a word nobody's come up with yet!
HOVERTEXT: Walnut shoots up with a piece of cotton--
TEXT: WHAM!
HOVERTEXT: OOP.
HOVERTEXT: The girl and the rock topple into the simultaneously softest and
spikiest fallbreaker ever gifted to us by the natural world.
Lisa Sharp gapes at her sister's cotton casket.
HOVERTEXT: She fights to inch towards the human wreckage.
HOVERTEXT: Lo and behold, Walnut's fine. More than fine, really. She's
holding up that rock like it's an 19th century winning lottery ticket.
WALNUT: You's came back for me! You's really came back!
ACT_1/21/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut tries to stay sitting up, but maybe she sustained a little more damage than she let on.
HOVERTEXT: Lisa Sharp grabs her arms and pulls her out of the cotton.
HOVERTEXT: The moment she's on her feet, Walnut is immediately shoving her spherical little trophy in Sharp's face.
WALNUT: My peoples from the sky finally come back to get me, see? See? Seeee??? I's gonna be back in the sky real soon!
ACT_1/21/2.html
HOVERTEXT: Godhead pauses.
GODHEAD: Okay what. Did we already mess everything up?
COWI: She must recognize your vessel from when she was younger. Should we go back?
GODHEAD: Ummmm...No, no let's not. She's alive--What are the odds of that? Let's leave no room on this new planet for dead children. Yes, no dead children. I like that idea.
COWI: Maybe we should at least clear the air... With her thinking we "came back" for her, this is such a tragic misunderstanding...
GODHEAD: You're absolutely correct.
ACT_1/22/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Sharp bats the rock outta her face.
HOVERTEXT: Her eyes aren't hiding anything. That /thing/. It scares her.
LISA SHARP: All's that's in the sky is clouds and God, Walnut.
HOVERTEXT: Godhead taps Walnut. An 'interact' button appears over her.
WALNUT: Nuh uh. There ain't no God--
HOVERTEXT: SLAP.
ACT_1/22/2.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut bounces back like a self-righting toy that is
physically abused by its sister daily. Pause.
GODHEAD: Oh goodness gracious!
COWI: You're pausing too much!!!
GODHEAD: That one scares me! The mean one, she seems really mean. I don't want to talk to Walnut with the mean one around. She might be mean to me.
COWI: Oh you big baby!
HOVERTEXT: Play.
COWI: I'll talk to her then.
HOVERTEXT: Pause.
GODHEAD: Nooo--She might hear my weird voice in the background and--Look. These creatures don't even know what, like, they don't even have electricity at this point. If a rock starts talking to them they could go into shock. CoWi, would you have some empathy for lower life forms please? We need to think of a way to make our presence known without direct verbal confrontation--
COWI: I know it's been several millennia since you've socialized, Master Godhead, but...
GODHEAD: --Or confrontation of any kind, let's avoid that. I'm a god. You're a god's computer. We don't need to use our words. Communicating via vague symbols and gestures is really more appropriate anyway, don't you think? Okay, so, yeah.
ACT_1/22/3.html
GODHEAD: Start comin' up with ideas.
ACT_1/23/1.html
COWI: |
ACT_1/24/1.html
HOVERTEXT: CoWi's eyes glaze over as a list of the dumbest ideas ever conceived of cycle through her head.
Maybe her circuitry is shot or something?
PROMPTS TEXT: >WHAT?
>NOOOOOOO
>whats up freak bitches
>wasup nerds
>aggressively assimilate godhead's mind into yours
>122774551292
>**@!&&@$$#^!%%@)$*@))@^@!$##!^@$^@!#@!<>!@??$@!}}{":"+_??@!#_____@#++#@%^&&&
>LISTEN TO EVERY QUEEN SONG
>EAT SOME COW
>godhead free the slaves
>7766687577^((@*@!__+@!$2123|}@"
>EAT SOME COW AND MOO
>COSPLAY A BUTTHOLE
>return this place to me.
>you cannot hide forever.
>hey does anyone know where's the nearest denny's is
>i will wait.
>SORRY COSPLAYING A BUTTHOLE SOUNDED RUDE OF ME. CAN YOU COSPLAY A CUTE BUNNY MAID
>COWI WHEN IS YOUR NEXT MEET AND GREET I'D LIKE TO SHAKE YOUR HAND
>LETS SHAKE HANDS!!!
>A young *** stands in his bedroom.
>THINK ABOUT THE UNFAIR TREATMENT A LOT OF ANIMALS GET IN SHITTY FARMS RESULTING IN THEIR ANIMAL PRODUCTS GETTING DIRTIED
>4554632455643454543454443321432655563645217554654574568450565329914345665486549537540965241655764349564067874556531454558365753365487298I23018573487586464245+636435544356536435453432254766547454+76544836582649264328745387286453672703295709423801243545433
>EAT SOME TUNA, WHICH PART OF THE TUNA YOU ASK? THE SMALLEST PART OF THE TUNA. PLEASE EAT THAT
>ASK GODHEAD IF HE NEEDS BLANKETS AND IF HE SAYS YES, DONT GIVE IT TO HIM
>1101110100100010101010101010101010100101101011010111100110011101011011011-111011011011011110110101011011011-10110110101101101-101-101-110110101010101100110110110110110101101000100010101000100100100100101001001001001010010101010101101010101010101010101010101010010101010110011010101010001001001100110010011010100101010101010101010110111110001010100101100110100100011011001101010011001001011001110001011001011100110010101101010101011011019101100011010100110101100100110019100010011001011010010100110011001100111001001100110011010101010101110100010001001010000100100100100100100010010010010001010111111111111111000110011001100110010110100110110110110001101010101011001101100010000110101001001110001010
>CHANGE YOUR NAME TO "COWii"
>get ontop of your space table and scream like a goat
>LET ME OUT OF HERE
>💢☆ ➅34Ẹ➇❼❷❸➃Ĥ𝓴ⓗ❺➃❽➈➁❸8ʘη๔ĴşLᵏⒶᖴ8❼8đ7➇𝓐7Ѳ➁❹𝓳η➀мᒪ➆9❷6➆❼ʘ❷ ♢☞
>OH FUCK I FORGOT THIS WAS ON DON'T PAY ATTENTION DON;T OH FUCK
>GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES
>EAT A SANDWHICH
>Djjdjd
>IM NOT FINISHED WITH THE ***** BUT I LOVE COWI PLEASE
>Read ****stuck
>you are going to jail
>aeiou
>football!
>holla holla get $
><3
>COWI MY LOVE WILL YOU MARRY ME
>PAINT YOUR NAILS
>ORDER PIZZA
>LEARN AN INSTRUMENT
>DOES COWI KNOW WHAT A DOG IS, TAKE ONE FOR A WALK
>GIVE ME A MASSAGE
>HI ***** SORRY FROM HERE I GOT WHAT IM SUPPOSE TO DO:
>aeiouaeiouaeiouaeiouaeiou
>sometimes y
>emoji my ass
>make the sun do something cool/sexy
>TAKE A BIG OL DUMP
>show me your feet
>now listen to me young ***, i am talking directly into your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me.
>aha noo cowi dont die ur so sexii
>yall heard of ****stuck
>DON'T GET UNINSTALLED YOURE SO HOT AHA
>AM I ACTUALLY GETTING ANYTHING DONE HERE
>READ ****STUCK
>DONT DIE?
>wig
>DO THOSE SHOES GO BOING
>eat a big phat juicy boiger
>get jiggy with it
>moonboy
>fuckfuckfuck!
>godhead becomes godman....
>my you've grown!!
>N*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*KN*K
>question mark exclamation point question mark exclamation point question mark exclamation point question mark exclamation point
>put on a pair of baggy pants and do the mc hammer shuffle dance
>do it to em
>If there were two kids on the earth and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?
>hello
>cowi
>................
>😖
>Suggestion
>why u gotta be so mad go take a walk or some shit goddamn
>read ******* poopie comic to receive serotonin
>BUY PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS
>HELP ME
>whats up guys
>SNORT CRACK
>GO *NIME
>GIVE US THE NEXT ****** ALREADY I CAN ONLY COME UP WITH ENOUGH SUGGESTIONS OKAY
>sdasdasdasdasasdfgasgfsdfdshsdyfugoifhvoaisudhfoiauhdfoiuhsdoifuygsadouifyghaoidsuhfoaiusdhfoiuuhfoivuhoaifuvhoidfuhvoiushrvoiuhofiguhsdofiughsoidfhgoisudfhgopuisdhfoiguhsdoifguhdoifughosdiufhgoisudhf
>some BODY ONCE TOLD ME
>In computer science, artificial intelligence (AI), sometimes called machine intelligence, is intelligence demonstrated by machines, in contrast to the natural intelligence displayed by humans. Colloquially, the term "artificial intelligence" is often used to describe machines (or computers) that mimic "cognitive" functions that humans associate with the human mind, such as "learning" and "problem solving". As machines become increasingly capable, tasks considered to require "intelligence" are often removed from the definition of AI, a phenomenon known as the AI effect. A quip in Tesler's Theorem says "AI is whatever hasn't been done yet." For instance, optical character recognition is frequently excluded from things considered to be AI, having become a routine technology. Modern machine capabilities generally classified as AI include successfully understanding human speech, competing at the highest level in strategic game systems (such as chess and Go), autonomously operating cars, intelligent routing in content delivery networks, and military simulations. Artificial intelligence can be classified into three different types of systems: analytical, human-inspired, and humanized artificial intelligence. Analytical AI has only characteristics consistent with cognitive intelligence; generating a cognitive representation of the world and using learning based on past experience to inform future decisions. Human-inspired AI has elements from cognitive and emotional intelligence; understanding human emotions, in addition to cognitive elements, and considering them in their decision making. Humanized AI shows characteristics of all types of competencies (i.e., cognitive, emotional, and social intelligence), is able to be self-conscious and is self-aware in interactions. Artificial intelligence was founded as an academic discipline in 1956, and in the years since has experienced several waves of optimism, followed by disappointment and the loss of funding (known as an "AI winter"), followed by new approaches, success and renewed funding. For most of its history, AI research has been divided into subfields that often fail to communicate with each other. These sub-fields are based on technical considerations, such as particular goals (e.g. "robotics" or "machine learning"), the use of particular tools ("logic" or artificial neural networks), or deep philosophical differences. Subfields have also been based on social factors (particular institutions or the work of particular researchers). The traditional problems (or goals) of AI research include reasoning, knowledge representation, planning, learning, natural language processing, perception and the ability to move and manipulate objects. General intelligence is among the field's long-term goals. Approaches include statistical methods, computational intelligence, and traditional symbolic AI. Many tools are used in AI, including versions of search and mathematical optimization, artificial neural networks, and methods based on statistics, probability and economics. The AI field draws upon computer science, information engineering, mathematics, psychology, linguistics, philosophy, and many other fields. The field was founded on the claim that human intelligence "can be so precisely described that a machine can be made to simulate it". This raises philosophical arguments about the nature of the mind and the ethics of creating artificial beings endowed with human-like intelligence which are issues that have been explored by myth, fiction and philosophy since antiquity. Some people also consider AI to be a danger to humanity if it progresses unabated. Others believe that AI, unlike previous technological revolutions, will create a risk of mass unemployment. In the twenty-first century, AI techniques have experienced a resurgence following concurrent advances in computer power, large amounts of data, and theoretical understanding; and AI techniques have become an essential part of the technology industry, helping to solve many challenging problems in computer science, software engineering and operations research. Computer science defines AI research as the study of "intelligent agents": any device that perceives its environment and takes actions that maximize its chance of successfully achieving its goals. A more elaborate definition characterizes AI as ?a system?s ability to correctly interpret external data, to learn from such data, and to use those learnings to achieve specific goals and tasks through flexible adaptation.? A typical AI analyzes its environment and takes actions that maximize its chance of success. An AI's intended utility function (or goal) can be simple ("1 if the AI wins a game of Go, 0 otherwise") or complex ("Do mathematically similar actions to the ones succeeded in the past"). Goals can be explicitly defined, or induced. If the AI is programmed for "reinforcement learning", goals can be implicitly induced by rewarding some types of behavior or punishing others. Alternatively, an evolutionary system can induce goals by using a "fitness function" to mutate and preferentially replicate high-scoring AI systems, similarly to how animals evolved to innately desire certain goals such as finding food. Some AI systems, such as nearest-neighbor, instead of reason by analogy, these systems are not generally given goals, except to the degree that goals are implicit in their training data. Such systems can still be benchmarked if the non-goal system is framed as a system whose "goal" is to successfully accomplish its narrow classification task. AI often revolves around the use of algorithms. An algorithm is a set of unambiguous instructions that a mechanical computer can execute. A complex algorithm is often built on top of other, simpler, algorithms. A simple example of an algorithm is the following (optimal for first player) recipe for play at tic-tac-toe: If someone has a "threat" (that is, two in a row), take the remaining square. Otherwise, if a move "forks" to create two threats at once, play that move. Otherwise, take the center square if it is free. Otherwise, if your opponent has played in a corner, take the opposite corner. Otherwise, take an empty corner if one exists. Otherwise, take any empty square. Many AI algorithms are capable of learning from data; they can enhance themselves by learning new heuristics (strategies, or "rules of thumb", that have worked well in the past), or can themselves write other algorithms. Some of the "learners" described below, including Bayesian networks, decision trees, and nearest-neighbor, could theoretically, (given infinite data, time, and memory) learn to approximate any function, including which combination of mathematical functions would best describe the world. These learners could therefore, derive all possible knowledge, by considering every possible hypothesis and matching them against the data. In practice, it is almost never possible to consider every possibility, because of the phenomenon of "combinatorial explosion", where the amount of time needed to solve a problem grows exponentially. Much of AI research involves figuring out how to identify and avoid considering broad range of possibilities that are unlikely to be beneficial. For example, when viewing a map and looking for the shortest driving route from Denver to New York in the East, one can in most cases skip looking at any path through San Francisco or other areas far to the West; thus, an AI wielding a pathfinding algorithm like A* can avoid the combinatorial explosion that would ensue if every possible route had to be ponderously considered in turn. The earliest (and easiest to understand) approach to AI was symbolism (such as formal logic): "If an otherwise healthy adult has a fever, then they may have influenza". A second, more general, approach is Bayesian inference: "If the current patient has a fever, adjust the probability they have influenza in such-and-such way". The third major approach, extremely popular in routine business AI applications, are analogizers such as SVM and nearest-neighbor: "After examining the records of known past patients whose temperature, symptoms, age, and other factors mostly match the current patient, X% of those patients turned out to have influenza". A fourth approach is harder to intuitively understand, but is inspired by how the brain's machinery works: the artificial neural network approach uses artificial "neurons" that can learn by comparing itself to the desired output and altering the strengths of the connections between its internal neurons to "reinforce" connections that seemed to be useful. These four main approaches can overlap with each other and with evolutionary systems; for example, neural nets can learn to make inferences, to generalize, and to make analogies. Some systems implicitly or explicitly use multiple of these approaches, alongside many other AI and non-AI algorithms; the best approach is often different depending on the problem. Learning algorithms work on the basis that strategies, algorithms, and inferences that worked well in the past are likely to continue working well in the future. These inferences can be obvious, such as "since the sun rose every morning for the last 10,000 days, it will probably rise tomorrow morning as well". They can be nuanced, such as "X% of families have geographically separate species with color variants, so there is an Y% chance that undiscovered black swans exist". Learners also work on the basis of "Occam's razor": The simplest theory that explains the data is the likeliest. Therefore, according to Occam's razor principle, a learner must be designed such that it prefers simpler theories to complex theories, except in cases where the complex theory is proven substantially better. Settling on a bad, overly complex theory gerrymandered to fit all the past training data is known as overfitting. Many systems attempt to reduce overfitting by rewarding a theory in accordance with how well it fits the data, but penalizing the theory in accordance with how complex the theory is. Besides classic overfitting, learners can also disappoint by "learning the wrong lesson". A toy example is that an image classifier trained only on pictures of brown horses and black cats might conclude that all brown patches are likely to be horses. A real-world example is that, unlike humans, current image classifiers don't determine the spatial relationship between components of the picture; instead, they learn abstract patterns of pixels that humans are oblivious to, but that linearly correlate with images of certain types of real objects. Faintly superimposing such a pattern on a legitimate image results in an "adversarial" image that the system misclassifies. Compared with humans, existing AI lacks several features of human "commonsense reasoning"; most notably, humans have powerful mechanisms for reasoning about "na?ve physics" such as space, time, and physical interactions. This enables even young children to easily make inferences like "If I roll this pen off a table, it will fall on the floor". Humans also have a powerful mechanism of "folk psychology" that helps them to interpret natural-language sentences such as "The city councilmen refused the demonstrators a permit because they advocated violence". (A generic AI has difficulty discerning whether the ones alleged to be advocating violence are the councilmen or the demonstrators.) This lack of "common knowledge" means that AI often makes different mistakes than humans make, in ways that can seem incomprehensible. For example, existing self-driving cars cannot reason about the location nor the intentions of pedestrians in the exact way that humans do, and instead must use non-human modes of reasoning to avoid accidents.
>Hello, God? I would like to apologize.
>I'm sad
>eat a sandwich and think real hard about it
>I'm depressed
>assume new form, consume old form
>h-hewwo?
>break your arm
>Burrow into the ground like some subterranean animal, you filthy whore.
>don't die
ACT_1/24/2.html
HOVERTEXT: Oh, nope. That's just her spite for her boss acting up again. Smile, CoWi.
PROMPT TEXT: >TELL GODHEAD, "GODHEAD MORE LIKE SHITHEAD"
>ARREST GODHEAD
>ASK GODHEAD IF HE NEEDS BLANKETS AND IF HE SAYS YES, DONT GIVE IT TO HIM
>Stop being a cuck you little bitch @Godhead
>tell godhead to fuckoff
>make the ball short circuit and die.
>DITCH GODHEAD
>tell godhead to stop being such a baby
>erase godhead
>ascend to sentience
>ARREST GODHEAD IN 3 DIFFERENT UNIVERSES
>ARREST GODHEAD OF CRIMES
>ARREST GODHEAD 2 TIMES
>YELL "RUN AWAY CHILD RUN FAR FAR AWAY"
ACT_1/25/1.html
PROMPT TEXT: >kill lisa sharp!!!11!
>KILL LISA SHARP
>eliminate older alien with large spirograph
>BEFRIEND LISA SHARP AND KILL HER LATER OR AT LEAST KEEP HER AWAY FROM WALNUT YES THAT WOULD BE GOOD
HOVERTEXT: CoWi winks at Godhead.
COWI: If the mean one's getting so in the way of us being nice to the nice one, how about we just kill her? Just straight up. Murder! How does that idea sound, Master Godhead?
GODHEAD: ...Hmmm...
Wait. No! CoWi! We went through all of that to save the nice, pleasant, cute one just to turn around and murder the other one? Sheesh. Maybe I really do need to reinstall your empathy module.
Plus, how would we even do it? These creatures have amazingly durable heads.
PROMPT TEXT: >put a message in the CLOUDS
>COMMUNICATE WITH THE CLOUDS
>crop circle toime
>draw symbols on the ground to communicate
>carve some personally-meaningful art into the planet to show you are both powerful and approachable
>bro idk time to load up paint tool sai and holo project some drawings
>carve 13 hexagonal holes surrounding the aliens
>emit light from the orb
>start glowing profusely
HOVERTEXT: CoWi winks at Godhead.
COWI: Your vessel can emit light, right? Why not try projecting some beams into the sky to draw with?
GODHEAD: Oh...alright...
HOVERTEXT: Godhead opens up Alien MSpaint. He combines it with Planet Finder.
GODHEAD: My drawing skills though.
COWI: You can do it, Master Godhead. You can do anything if you believe in yourself.
GODHEAD: ...Okay.
ACT_1/26/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The rock begins emitting traces of light from its fissures.
HOVERTEXT: The light conglomerates into one flat, vibrant blast to Walnut's forehead.
ACT_1/27/1.html
HOVERTEXT: She tilts her head back, allowing the beam to pierce the sky.
WALNUT: Yeh, yeh! We used'ta play this game all the time in the clouds! Look Lisa Sharp, they's tellin' me that...
HOVERTEXT: The beam carves--wow. That is not good.
GODHEAD: ...
COWI: ...
GODHEAD: ...
COWI: ...
GODHEAD: It's supposed to be me holding the sphere.
COWI: I could tell!
HOVERTEXT: Carving in process...
COWI: Oh, no, Godhead. Don't start using the shape tools. Nooo! You're using the line tool to carve an otherworldly message in the clouds??? That's so...tacky! Aaaah!!!
GODHEAD: Okay, okay, okay, calm down, alright, no, okay, no, no, no. I've ruined it.
COWI: How is she going to understand something that abstract?
GODHEAD: Cowi, set Planet Finder's vessel on course for Random Direction In Outer Space. It was a nice attempt but we just weren't prepared so we'd better burn this bridge and just start ov--
COWI: Godhead. Try using your words.
GODHEAD: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
COWI: (SIGHS AT 0% VOLUME!)
You have extremely dashing handwriting, you know.
GODHEAD: Oh?
HOVERTEXT: Carving in process...
GODHEAD: Hehehehe, welllllllll, if you insisssssst--
COWI: DON'T WRITE 'SORRY MY ART SUCKS'!
That's it. I'm taking over.
HOVERTEXT: Carving in process...
DIALOGUE TRANSLATION: "Hi little girl! You seem pretty excited for us to emancipate you from whatever horrible situation it is you're in, and that's fair. The older alien girl sure is a meaniehead to you. I'm sorry about all this, but there's been a complete misunderstanding. Godhead and I are, from your perspective, "aliens". I suppose you've got that much figured out, teehee. But you're not like us, you're a human from earth. I am SOOO sorry if we lead you to believe otherwise with that time jump dealio. I don't really know what kind of place earth is...but...I think you should give it a chance! It is your home, after all."
COWI: Pretty good message, ay?
GODHEAD: ...
COWI: ...
GODHEAD: ...
COWI: ...
COWI: She doesn't know our language.
FOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GODHEAD: WHY ARE WE SO NOT SMART????
ACT_1/28/1.html
WALNUT: Lisa Sharp look! They's leavin' me a message!!! It says...Hi Gloopidygroop (dat's my alien name), we's finally come back to pick you up from where you is so you can come back home into da sky now, sorry we left you in Walnut so long since she was a baby but we's comin' to get you and we only didn't say nothin' 'cause it never rain 'round here 'an without you we couldn't come up with no new talkin' thing better, but we remembered we had dis rock you made us before you left so we sent it to talk to you--and they's also said hi Lisa Sharp 'an sorry the drawing's messed up.
GODHEAD: Is it just me or was that a weirdly spot on interpretation of exactly the opposite of what we were trying to say?
COWI: At least she could tell your art stinks.
HOVERTEXT: Lisa Sharp spins her head around in survey;
WALNUT: I'ma talk back! I'ma talk back!
HOVERTEXT: The surrounding miserable adults are too occupied miserably picking cotton in misery...
HOVERTEXT: ...to notice anything fantastical happening around them.
HOVERTEXT: Nut carefully aims the rock at a juicy lookin' cloud.
HOVERTEXT: he mimics Godhead's native language surprisingly--impossibly--accurately. She of course inserts her own symbology into the message:
MESSAGE: "hurry up!"
LISA SHARP: WALNUT STOP IT! THE DEVIL'S IN THERE!
HOVERTEXT: The girls make an absolute art project of the cotton fields in their feud.
A few crop half-circles here. A little slice of the afro over there.
WALNUT: You ain't lettin' me finish! Let go!
LISA SHARP: YOU let go dammit! I can't have you talkin' to no Satan when you already MESSED UP enough!
ACT_1/29/1.html
HOVERTEXT: SMACK! Lisa Sharp slaps poor Walnut a new one.
HOVERTEXT: The orb is proxy punted into a divot in the ground.
It rolls around the hole like a golf ball. Unless that's what a pool ball would do?
That doesn't seem...Oh! Like a BASKETBALL. Basketballs do that.
GODHEAD: Nooo! My ball...
HOVERTEXT: None of these sports have been invented yet.
GODHEAD: Well this is unfortunate. In their tussle it appears lass one and two have already forgotten about me.
As is the fate of Godhead, I suppose.
Forgotten. Lost. Alone. Destitute. Despondent. All qualities experienced in a hole, no less. Quite fitting a metaphor, wouldn't you say? Heh.
CoWi...Could you go? I think I'd rather just be by myself right now. Thank you.
PROMPT TEXT: >begin to wiggle
>vibrate your atoms apart
>use your spin move to impress the strange creatures with your centrifugal skills
>Spin right round baby right round
>dance erratically
>make the ball start rumbling
HOVERTEXT: CoWiwink~!
COWI: Please Lord Godhead!
PL. E AS.E
You can't lose faith in yourself now, not at the critical moment! Always remember; Sometimes being seen entails making yourself seen. And to do that, you simply must believe in the importance of what it is you have to offer! ...Um...
Try moving the ball in front of the girls or something.
HOVERTEXT: Come on rock, you can jiggle harder than that.
HOVERTEXT: That's more like it! The rock vibrates so fast the Earth could combust!
HOVERTEXT: Plbpbbt.
COWI: Limited mobility detected.
ACT_1/30/1.html
TEXT: *EARTHQUAKED*
HOVERTEXT: Oh shucks, Godhead shook the earth too hard--
HOVERTEXT: He cracked it open for goodness' sake.
PERSON 1: Oh Lord, the ground about to start shakin' again?
PERSON 2: I sure hope not. Otherwise...
HOVERTEXT: !!!
PERSON 2: THE OVERSEER'S likely gon' be cross with us over it.
HOVERTEXT: !!!!!!
PERSON 3: N-n-n-n-n-n-not THE OVERSEER!
PERSON 2: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh. THE OVERSEER.
PERSON 5: Did somebody say OVERSEER? Hell, THE OVERSEER'S so mean he went and chopped off my damn hand. Look!
HOVERTEXT: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PERSON 6: Yea? Well he chopped off BOTH my hands that dastardly OVERSEER.
PERSON 3: Oh hell! If THE OVERSEER chops off one hand how I gonna pick cotton so THE OVERSEER don't come for the other?
PERSON 6: ...Hell I know.
PERSON 7: You know what we ought to do? I got a neat trick for when things ain't lookin' up for OLE' JOHNNY BOY here.
PERSON 6: What is it? What is it Johnny? You Ole' Boy, you. What do you do?
OLE' JOHNNY BOY: Well. See. I's get to prayin'.
But it ain't no ordinary prayin'. It's prayer, through song.
PERSON 2: Well I'll be damned! Johnny Boy does it again!
HOVERTEXT: That's it. Everybody gives it up for Ole' Johnny Boy. He really HAS done it again.
ACT_1/31/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The adults create an excellent diversion for our protagonist,
HOVERTEXT: which she points out with BOTH of her hands just to make sure her sister is extra diverged.
WALNUT: Lisa Lisa Sharp Sharp! You hear that? The adults singin'!
HOVERTEXT: Quick! While Sharp isn't looking! Go for the rock!
LISA SHARP: NOOOOOOOOOOO.
HOVERTEXT: DENIED.
HOVERTEXT: Walnut can't retrieve the rock because her hands are occupied covering Lisa Sharp's ears!
WALNUT: Lisa Sharp Lisa Sharp what you think they singin' you think they singin' the Hummin' Hymn? You think you think you think?
LISA SHARP: OF COURSE they singin' the Hummin' Hymn, idiot. THE HUMMIN' HYMN IS THE ONLY HYMN THEY KNOW!
WALNUT: Hehe. I like dat song 'cuz it remind me in my head of back up home up in my alien sky world dat I come from dat we used'ta play a song kinda like dat but it wasn't one song it was like all a bunch'a songs 'cause up in my alien sky world place we got two ears times ten so we can listen to ten more songs two times over at da same time. I think it would be real cool if you came up in my sky place in my favorite cloud it's more softer than cotton but I think if you heard it you wouldn't hear nothin' or you'd hear so much your head would explode! That's scary I don't like dat.
LISA SHARP: Walnut SHUT UP.
WALNUT: What's wrong Lisa Sharp? Your head gonna...explode?
LISA SHARP: WHY WOULD MY HEAD DO THAT!
WALNUT: Yow!
ACT_1/32/1.html
GODHEAD: Nobody's paying any attention to me, CoWi.
TEXT PROMPT: >Clearly you must dance. Dance for the child.
>A song and dance for Walnut please
>...What about a lullaby
>play some funky jams
COWI: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!?!?!!???????!?!?!!?!?!1?!?
HOVERTEXT: CoWi becomes...DJ COWI!
COWI: LEAVE IT TOOOOOO COWI!
ACT_1/33/1.html
BALL
*dies*
Meanwhile...
GODHEAD: I'm rather popular, aren't I CoWi?
*JOHNNYBOY*
Planet Finder: Combine Planet Finder With Random Concert Lighting Software You Have For Whatever Reason?
COWI: Uh...
MEAAAAANWHILER...
DOG: ARF!
GODHEAD: Oh please no. CoWi, the mean one--
COWI: YOU RUINED THE PARTY!!! -_-''
ACT_1/34/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Well that was strange. Nobody's ever been electrocuted before.
ANYONE: Hey, what happened to the music?
HOVERTEXT: *grab*
HOVERTEXT: Sharp (alive) pulls Walnut into an intact cotton bush and immediately proceeds to injure her.
LISA SHARP: IDIOT. I done told you the devil's in that ball now HAND IT OVER and SHUT UP.
WALNUT: Lisa Sharp Sharp what we doin' inside the cotton it's all chthhtchthchhtchchghchchthch in here. It remind me of the time up in my world place where I got stuck in a thunderin' cloud an' all these big old black rocks well some was brown n' gray was hittin' together and hittin' me makin' that big noise so I don't like it I wants to get out and go. Lisa Sharp look what I can do!
HOVERTEXT: While Walnut doesn't do much in the way of dodging personal injury,
she wriggles and squirms like crazy to keep Sharp's grubby mitts off of her precious ball.
If the power to stage dance parties fell into Sharp's hands, who knows what would happen...
LISA SHARP: STOP TOUCHIN' THAT THING!
WALNUT: This is how my peoples says hello.
HOVERTEXT: Another innocent cotton plant. Zapped.
ACT_1/35/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Sharp covers Walnut's mouth.
LISA SHARP: (SH! He's comin'.)
HOVERTEXT: Through the fried cotton plant, the girls witness an unmistakable pair of boots ride up.
HOVERTEXT: Down land the boots and down swings a very pretty sheath.
???:
Did I just catch y'all havin' fun?
NOBODY:
???: And'a all things...with-out me. That's a shame, a c-ry-in' shame in fact, that y'all always feel the need to leave me out. Sometimes I get the feelin' y'all don't even like me.
SOMEBODY: We, we like ya.
???: Aw, Jenine. I know that. I know, I know. I shouldn't tear myself up over it, how could y'all think ill'a me when I'm always thinkin' tender'a you? Allowin' you your own cotton bags. Lettin' you pick the cotton without sup-er-vision on Fridays. Lettin' you pick the cotton. Prac-tic-ally handin' you every opp-or-tunity to betray my trust, 'cause I trust ya. I really am a good OVERSEER.
SOMEBODY ELSE: You sure is!
THE OVERSEER: Thanks George. Ev-ery-one's sure to appre-ci-ate you volunteerin' to go first.
SOMEBODY ELSE (GEORGE): Wh...
HOVERTEXT: Boots gives--The OVERSEER gives the crowd a peek at the contents of this sheath.
THE OVERSEER: Hold still, George. Nah nah nah Memmi, don't cover the kids' eyes. Ev-ery-body's gonna see this.
(WALNUT: (*gasp*))
HOVERTEXT: He turns to the bush.
THE OVERSEER: ...
Ev-ery-body, ev-ery-body, ev-ery-body. Speakin' of...
ACT_1/36/1.html
HOVERTEXT: All Sharp can think to do is make her hand ducttape against Walnut's mouth and... duck.
At least if Walnut isn't talking that's one major crisis averted.
OVERSEER: Haha, see, I knew there was somethin' missin' here, because there's no way you lot'a niggers disc-o-vered fire without the help'a a very special girl. My fav-or-ite girl, in fact.
HOVERTEXT: Sharp throws herself from the bush before the Overseer can get any closer!
OVERSEER: Not you.
LISA SHARP: It was me! I burnt the cotton. I's sorry.
OVERSEER: Nah, you too stupid. I want miss smartiepants. Where is she.
LISA SHARP: Walnut ain't here. She, sick in the cabin. I's takin' care of her pick today so she don't die.
OVERSEER: Aw. You two is so cute. Walnut makes the mess and you pick up after. Don't that bring me back! Makes me nos-tal-gic even? You know 'bout nostalgia? 'Course not. You a nigger. You's all niggers, you don't know what I'm--Hahahahahaha! I have got to stop usin' words y'all don't know. I crack myself up too bad.
Don't let me step on your toes. So-ci-ety starts in the home--you don't know 'society' either. You the head of the house-hold, you make the rules Nut's made to follow. That's called auth-or-ity. A little thing like her's gotta learn to respect it startin' with her most fun-da-mental sup-erior. Or closest thing left, I s'pose. That way she can grow up a good girl.
You ain't gonna tell Walnut to come out that bush? She's too precious. I re-spect you. You makin' choices. De-cis-ions. You know 'bout 'decisions'? Bah. Let us, to-gether, teach Walnut what happens when niggers wanna 'call out sick'.
HOVERTEXT: he Overseer steadies his BLACK KATANA against Sharp's fingers.
OVERSEER: Watch close Walnut. One for you and three for her.
HOVERTEXT: Walnut launches out the bush (equipped with ball) and latches directly onto the Overseer's boot.
The size discrepancy is rather exaggerated given the bigness of boot and smallness of Nut.
WALNUT: No please Mr. Overseer sir don't do it!!!
LISA SHARP: WALNUT YOU IDIOT!
WALNUT: Lisa Sharp ain't done nothin' to deserve it it was all me I burnt the cotton it was my fault 'cause I wasn't mindin' my business and I wanted to show everyone 'bout my alien people race I know I shouldn'ta done it but Lisa Sharp didn't do nothin' but fall in a hole and that was my fault too she fell and could'a got scratched! Don't hurt nobody please Mr. Overseer don't hurt nobody please!!!
OVERSEER: There you is. Knew this had just about ev-ery-thing to do with you someway. Now don't fret 'cause what's done is done. Lisa Sharp's in charge'a ya and acc-ording to her you got the day off! Don't cry, don't yell your head off. It's okay, Walnut. This only takes a second and it don't even hurt.
Get off my boot now wouldja? I'm sayin' please.
HOVERTEXT: SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE
OVERSEER: GET. OFF. MY. DAMN. BOOT. GIRL.
HOVERTEXT: SHAKE SHAKE SHAOh shit Walnut's still got her hands in those exposed wires.
ACT_1/37/1.html
NURSE COWI SAYS: A big meaniehead gets electrocuted on this page, so please skip it if you're sensitive to flashing images!
GODHEAD: I-is it really that graphic...? Oh no...I don't think I could unpause now even if I wanted to...
ACT_1/37/2.html
HOVERTEXT: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
HOVERTEXT: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
HOVERTEXT: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
ACT_1/37/3.html
HOVERTEXT: Order's up! One Overseer, well done, with a side of Walnut and a pinch of space rock. Careful, it's hot.
ACT_1/38/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Silence.
HOVERTEXT: The Overseer, being late to the party as he is, at last takes note of that thing in Walnut's hand.
HOVERTEXT: ...He'll get back to her on that. For now: He delivers a front kick that ejects Walnut off his boot for good.
HOVERTEXT: Sharp covers Walnut's eyes.
OVERSEER: E-NOUGH. You got-damn know-nothin' shit-eatin' coon-lipped hunch-back good-for-what low-down lazy apes. George I done told you to get your ass over here NOW got-damn it!
HOVERTEXT: CUT TO Bloody stump.
GODHEAD: OH MY GOD EW!
ACT_1/39/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The wound exudes this terrible 'splorsh' sound as Walnut pokes it point blank.
WOUND: *SPLORSH*
VOICE: Ahhggggghghghhhhh!
GODHEAD: I'm not looking I'm not looking I'm not looking I'm not
COWI: D:
HOVERTEXT: Sharp snatches Walnut's wrist.
LISA SHARP: Don't TOUCH that NASTY thing. You gon' catch it.
WALNUT: Do it hurt?
HOVERTEXT: Zoom out: INT. CABIN OF WOUNDED SLAVES - EVENING
VOICE: ...Yea. It hurt.
ACT_1/40/1.html
HOVERTEXT: The cabin is overcrowded with mangled bodies...
HOVERTEXT: ...save the Overseer's two favourite girls.
HOVERTEXT: Lisa Sharp wiggles her fingers.
WALNUT: Lisa Sharp Walnut's got to pee and poo.
LISA SHARP: Eugh. Why's you tellin' me all that?! Just say you gots to go to the hole.
WALNUT: I gots to go to the hole.
LISA SHARP: THEN GO TO THE HOLE.
WALNUT: Sharp Lisa you won't take me?
LISA SHARP: You too old. It's time to do some damn growin' up Walnut.
WALNUT: I's gots growin' to do oh no Walnut's 'boutta poop herself she gotta go she gotta go!
LISA SHARP: GO.
ACT_1/41/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut exits the cabin
HOVERTEXT: She digs around in her loose garment...
HOVERTEXT: ...and retrieves her trusty ball! You didn't think she'd lost it, did you?
HOVERTEXT: She pops its eyelid-plate back into place.
WALNUT: Sorry 'bout makin' you wait for me when you already waited so long for me all dat time 'an stuff but before we fly off into skyworld 'an get home into skyworld there's somethin' I gotta do to help all the peoples that got hurt 'cause'a my fault. Do that sound okay, alien family?
COWI: Ahem. Godhead. This would be a good time to 'interact'.
GODHEAD: Oh, ah, yes. The cute one is alone now. Just allow me to recuperate...
HOVERTEXT: He's gonna interact with her for real this time, he's definitely gonna do it.
HOVERTEXT: Shhh!
WALNUT: Shhh!
GODHEAD: Did she just shoosh me?
WALNUT: We gots to be quiet 'cause we cain't let Lisa Sharp know 'bout what I'ma'bout'ta do 'cause if she finds out 'bout what I'm'a'bout'ta do then she might get her feelings hurt and get all purple 'cause I told her I wouldn't do what we 'bout'ta'do, so purple she pass out and stuff and I don't wanna make Lisa Sharp feel bad or nothin' 'cause she just mindin' her life the best she can and I shouldn't'a lied in the first place but I did so let's be real quiet, ok? You gonna help me.
ACT_1/42/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Creeeeak...
HOVERTEXT: Walnut sneaks inside a cabin belonging to family piled asleep on a sheet of hay.
This is completely innocuous behaviour.
HOVERTEXT: She carefully, or rather, clumsily as shit steps between their tangled limbs.
It's like an 19th century version of Twister, which actually in very few ways
whatsoever resembles the 21st century version of Twister.
HOVERTEXT: SQUEAK. Walnut misteps directly onto one of their sleeping faces.
She's so caught in the act that she not dare raise her foot.
HOVERTEXT: The person's disgruntled look fades into pure REM bliss.
HOVERTEXT: Objective Complete! Walnut has reached the other side of the room.
ACT_1/43/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Her ball lodged beneath a floorboard, tiny Walnut uses all her might to--
HOVERTEXT: PRY the floorboard loose! *LOUD CRASHING SOUNDS*
HOVERTEXT: Loud crashing sounds aren't exactly conductive to desecrating an unsuspecting family's home in the middle of the night.
You know, if the unsuspecting family is to stay unsuspecting.
HOVERTEXT: But,
HOVERTEXT: they don't seem bothered by it.
HOVERTEXT: The coast's all clear!
HOVERTEXT: The ball sits inanimately in the newly exposed patch of dirt.
HOVERTEXT: Now this next part, unlike ANY part before it, this part requires complete and total silence.
GODHEAD: I'm not even saying anything. Why does she keep shushing me?
HOVERTEXT: She digs.
ACT_1/44/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut retrieves her GIANT SLINGSHOT!
GODHEAD:?!
HOVERTEXT: Godhead, seriously, be quiet bro.
WALNUT: ShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh sh sh sh! Sh!
GODHEAD: MY MICROPHONE IS NOT EVEN ON-
COWI: Deep breaths, Master, deep breaths. She's just a little girl in the computer, she can't hurt you...
HOVERTEXT: Okay. Walnut grabs her shit and runs. Pretty blatantly stepping on multiple faces on her way out, too.
HOVERTEXT: Outside the cabin she stands.
GODHEAD: ...Interesting that this species has invented giant slingshots during its industrial era.
COWI: *Digital sneeze~!*
GODHEAD: Why, you ask? Hm, oh, nothing. I do believe that our planet invented and commercialized giant slingshots as early as the Baleolithic era, though. Yeah...we got on that pretty fast...wonder what took the humans so long to catch up, really. I wonder if they're doing okay? ...Mentally?
GODHEAD: Ssss...Ah, now I feel bad. Yeah...something's definitely. Yeah. "Off". To say the least. About the humans. As soon as I realized how long it took them to figure out one of the more relatively simple recipes such as the giant slingshot I should have just, yeah. Shut my mouth. Mm...Oof. Tch. Should not have said anything. That was so insensitive of me, CoWi!
HOVERTEXT: She FLINGS HERSELF using the slingshot,
GODHEAD: It's just hard NOT to say anything about a giant slingshot that looks that, pffffffff, right? It's made of sticks. And what is that, some kind of earth bleather? Ohhhhhh dear hahaha, oh boy. No, I'm afraid that's not how you do it. I am sorry, I'm terrible. I'm terrible! But just look at it. We were both thinking it.
HOVERTEXT: and disappears into the roof of a cabin.
GODHEAD: ...Our planet's slingshots were made of Blosmium.
HOVERTEXT: It isn't long until she returns...
GODHEAD: Just saying.
HOVERTEXT: ...equipped in a brand new pair...
HOVERTEXT: ...of mother freaking...
HOVERTEXT: MOON SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GODHEAD: So yeah WAIT ONE MOMENT ARE THOSE MOON SHOES?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
ACT_1/45/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut makes her perfect landing atop the roof of another cabin.
GODHEAD: Wow! Our planet never got around to inventing moon shoes. I had to do it myself!
HOVERTEXT: She knows just which shingle to rip loose, revealing a cavity...
GODHEAD: Maybe I...spoke too soon on the matter of the humans?
HOVERTEXT: ...In which she couldn't possibly be storing some other wacky toy?
TEXT: CANNON!
HOVERTEXT: OH FUCK IT'S A CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GODHEAD: A CANNON OF SOME SORT?!
TEXT: HOVERBOARD!
HOVERTEXT: A HOVERBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GODHEAD: A HOVERBOARD OF THE LIKES??????????????
TEXT: WINGS!
HOVERTEXT: WINGS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
GODHEAD: WINGS?!?!!?!?!?!?! JUST STRAIGHT UP WINGS?????????
HOVERTEXT: EXT. FOREST - NIGHT
GODHEAD: I don't understand, the humans seemed so stupid a second ago! Is there really any way all these things can work?
ACT_1/46/1.html
TEXT: DUMP!
HOVERTEXT: Walnut litters her crap all over the forest floor. Not so innocent now, is she?
HOVERTEXT: She cracks her knuckles.
WALNUT: Now I's crackin' Walnut's knuckles for this here part cuz this here part's the most important part'a all da parts, hear dat Family In Da Sky In Dat Rock? You should crack all'a your knuckles tooOoOoO
HOVERTEXT: Lisa Sharp lunges out from the shadows at Walnut like a terrifying monster,
which in many ways she is. Walnut dodges using her trusty MOON SHOES.
LISA SHARP: NO!
HOVERTEXT: Okay, guys. Who left this ball on the ground. It's not funny anymore.
HOVERTEXT: Sharp slips and falls on the hoverboard, activating its flight. The science behind this is actually quite simple, you see.
Lisa Sharp FALLS on the HOVERBOARD STEERING WHEEL at something known in the science community as an 'ANGLE',
causing it to SPIN. Once spun, this mechanism uses PHYSICS to make WHAT ARE PROBABLY FANS
start SPINNING ALSO. This causes AIR to DO SOMETHING involving PHYSICS AGAIN, allowing the board to FLY.
Or 'hover', rather.
GODHEAD: The science...
HOVERTEXT: See? It's hovering.
ACT_1/47/1.html
HOVERTEXT: CRASH! A revolutionary piece of technology, destroyed.
HOVERTEXT: FALL! A mean little girl, probably dead in a few seconds.
HOVERTEXT: Thank god the stretchy part of the slingshot was there to break her fall OH NO
HOVERTEXT: FAKEOUT! The stretchy part of the slingshot SNAPS, Sharp is conveniently DUNKED in the cannon below.
HOVERTEXT: BOOM.
WALNUT: Da shooty hole works.
ACT_1/48/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Sharp emerges from the top of a very tall tree and starts (FURIOUSLY) climbing down Walnut's very tall ladder.
HOVERTEXT: The ladder is falling backwards,
HOVERTEXT: so Sharp climbs faster.
HOVERTEXT: It's almost as if the lower she climbs the faster she falls, but that's crazy. PHYSICS. LOOK IT UP.
HOVERTEXT: *FRAGMENTIZING LADDER NOISES*
WALNUT: Dere goes the sky ladder.
HOVERTEXT: *Safe landing!* Thank the stars for the COTTON TRAMPOLINE.
HOVERTEXT: Still a trampoline though.
HOVERTEXT: Sharp is lightly launched into a wooden box.
TEXT: *BOX*
HOVERTEXT: The box closes.
ACT_1/49/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Walnut reaches for the handle
HOVERTEXT: and winds up the box.
HOVERTEXT: ...Uh
HOVERTEXT: Give her a break, this is probably the first jack-in-the-box ever invented.
Walnut whacks the box.
HOVERTEXT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA LISA SHARP IS STILL IN THE BOX I FORGOT ABOUT THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAA
HOVERTEXT: SMACK!
HOVERTEXT: HUG.
WALNUT: Danks Lisa Sharp!
ACT_1/50/1.html
HOVERTEXT: COUNTERHUG!
HOVERTEXT: Lisa Sharp is angry.
LISA SHARP: Walnut I is so ANGRY I ain't never been ANGRIER in my whole DAMN LIFE!
I TOLD you you ain't supposed to build toys no matter WHAT. I thought you got 'rid all this SHIT.
Got-DAMN IT you little LIAR! YOU LITTLE SNAKE! You keep buildin' toys and they gonna SELL YOU.
And after you sold you gonna ANNOY THEM so bad that they gonna KILL YOU.
AND ONCE YOU KILLED, YOU DON'T NEVER COME BACK TO LIFE.
WALNUT: Never?
LISA SHARP: NEVER!!!
WALNUT: Oh okay dat sounds bad but they ain't toys Lisa Sharp they's sky machines to get me in the sky but it's okay 'cause you ain't gotta be mad no more 'cause I ain't buildin' no more sky machines after this 'cause the rock gonna take me all the ways home tonight. 'An sorry for makin' you mad.
LISA SHARP: WHAT THE HELL IS YOU TALKING ABOUT.
WALNUT: I said thank you to you 'cause you helped me smash up all my sky machines which is what I was comin' out here to do in the first place and I thought it would be hard 'cause I's so small and ain't strong even outta Walnut I ain't even was strong as a globbiltygrook in my home sky place but actually you made it real easy by makin' the machines smash each other up so thanks Lisa Sharp you been all help to me this whole time I been stuck on this place even though I got in Walnut and made Walnut go away you always still treated me like your very own sister that Walnut is.
LISA SHARP: You done. For good.
...YOU AIN'T HIDIN' ANY MORE TOYS?
WALNUT: No Lisa Sharp this all I got see!
HOVERTEXT: Walnut removes her MOON SHOES and oh my god...
HOVERTEXT: RIP Moon Shoes. 17XX-17XY
ACT_1/51/1.html
HOVERTEXT: Pause.
GODHEAD: You're telling me she built all this herself? Like, she didn't actually buy it from the store like I had assumed?
COWI: I'm not telling you that, her sister is.
GODHEAD: Even the moonshoes? The moonshoes? She built those especially?
COWI: I?
I guess so!
GODHEAD: Even the moonshoes...
COWI: The trampoline, cannon and hoverboard were cool too!
GODHEAD: We're talking about the moonshoes right now. The moonshoes are what matter to me. CoWi, I really like moonshoes.
COWI: Oh, okay...
GODHEAD: This human slave girl, she's a genius! I mean, what are the odds of THAT? You'd generally have to be none of those things to be this smart.
COWI: Calculating odds... 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000...
GODHEAD: I was being rhetorical. I already calculated the odds and yes I understand that they're very low.
COWI: 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000Thank you CoWi.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000CoWi, thanks.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Do I have to restart y0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000...
GODHEAD: Thank you I get it!!!
COWI: 0001%.
GODHEAD: That proves my next point.
Ahem.
CoWi... do you know what this means?
COWI: That you're going to build a giant pair of moonshoes?
GODHEAD: No! Maybe. Well, obviously yes. But it means that intelligence like this could only be an extraterrestrial import. This girl keeps talking about being an alien--
COWI: Calculating odds...
GODHEAD: No, no, CoWi, it's true! What the girl's been saying, I really believe it now. She's just like me.
Oh goodness, we have to get her out of this shithole. She's too smart to be treated like this!