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2011-10-31 Classifier works with ~65% accuracy in 3-fold validation
1 there ? s nothing quite like a gory anime .
2 really , and this is the truth , no other genre in film gets away with such violence without a word being said in the media about it .
3 with anime , a common shot is watching a body getting quickly cut in two , and the rest of the insides falling out seconds afterword .
4 this is a standard practice in anime , or at least the half dozen or so titles that i ? ve seen .
5 vampire hunter d is a gory , gory film .
6 if they ever made a live version of the film , it would be banned in several countries and given a rating somewhere below xxx .
7 it ? s not that it ? s gore is unique - it ? s just like other gory animes - but this one was supposed to stand out because of the complexity it ? s story , characters , animation , etc . . .
8 it really didn ? t .
9 it was disgusting and gruesome , which overshadowed the story , what little of it there was .
10 it seems that in the not too distant future vampires and evil control the world , because god knows that our local police force just can ? t seem to get a handle on vampires in the movies .
11 one evening , a blond peasant girl , drawn to look 17 and innocent ( a foreshadow that we will see her naked , i guessed early on it would be in the shower or in a rape scene ) is out fighting evil in her local forest preserve when she stumbles onto the private property of a ten thousand year old vampire ( insert strom thurmand joke here . )
12 of course , he never put a ? no trespassing ? sign on his yard , so one can ? t really blame her , but he ? s upset anyway and demands retribution .
13 she gets the obligatory bite on the neck ( aren ? t there other places to get blood from ?
14 it seems like a bite in the elbow would do well enough .
15 if it's good enough for doctors to draw blood from , then why do vampires stray from that sight ? )
16 to fight the spell , she enlists the help of a mysteriously tall , dark and handsome vampire hunter ( you guessed it , his name is d ) .
17 the vampire hunter is torn between fighting vampires , being attracted to the 17 year old peasant girl and finding reasons not to talk too much .
18 you see , like all heroes in these kinds of stories , he ? s a brooder , who ? s sole purpose in life is to remain really , really silent .
19 when he speaks , it ? s in cliches .
20 heroes like this are bad when they ? re live , even worse when animated .
21 later the vampire hunter storms the castle to meet the big bad vampire , who wants to marry the peasant girl because he ? s bored after 10 , 000 years of living ( the only clever vampire insight made in the movie ) , will vampire hunter d rush to save her in time ?
22 will we see blood and intestines spattering on every place imaginable ?
23 in it ? s defense , the animation , when focusing on being original rather than recycling anime slicing , could at times be original .
24 the talking hand was clever - and i think the inspiration for a skateboard-related logo .
25 and that ? s the best defense i can think of .
26 i understand that vampire hunter d is supposed to be a fave among anime fans , but i really don ? t see it .
27 it ? s an excuse to watch blood dripping from teeth , blood exploding out of eye sockets and horses necks , and most importantly , like all violent anime , it is an excuse to see animated breasts .
28 why ?
29 what is the point of that ?
30 maybe i have to understand the genre and look past the obsessive gore and mysogny .
31 i ? m not a prude , i just don ? t think it ? s warranted .
32 it puts itself so far out in front of the movie that everything else gets lost .
33 is there a neccesity in seeing a 17 year old in the shower ?
34 of course not ? it ? s done for shock .
35 it ? s tasteless and despicable .
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