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1 spoiled rich kid kelley morse ( chris klein ) receives a new mercedes for a graduation present .
2 he and his buddies take it for a joyride to a small nearby town , where he proceeds to torment the locals simply because he's rich and they're not .
3 he ends up provoking jasper ( josh hartnett ) into a race and as a result , the local gas station and diner are destroyed when they crash into it .
4 kelley is sentenced to rebuild the diner , and has to live with jasper in a spare room over his family's barn .
5 jasper's girlfriend sam ( leelee sobieski ) soon takes a liking to kelley however , despite the fact that 1 ) it was her family's diner that was destroyed and b ) all kelley does is sit around , sulk , and smart off to the townspeople .
6 but when she sees him sweaty and shirtless , that's apparently all she needs to lose her feelings for jasper ( whose only fault seems to be a perpetual case of hat hair ) .
7 so sobieski soon falls in love with kelley , especially after the day she follows him through the woods and hears him giving his graduation speech ( which he was unable to deliver because he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people ) .
8 in the speech , kelley quotes a poem by robert frost , which just so happens to be sam's favorite poem as well .
9 awwwww .
10 soon they're frolicking around in the fields and for some reason waste no time letting people in town ( especially jasper's best friend ) see them together .
11 kelley continues to make an ass of himself in town , especially when he shows up at the town dance , drunk and steaming because sam went with jasper .
12 kelley runs off and decides to leave town .
13 sam catches up to him at the bus station and he asks her to come to boston with him .
14 jasper shows up and tearfully confesses to sam just how much he loves her , and sam , without even breaking stride basically says " see ya ! "
15 and takes off to boston with kelley .
16 here on earth goes in so many wrong directions from the start that by the time its fairly decent ending comes around , its completely worthless .
17 chris klein and leelee sobieski are two of my current favorite young performers , and it's because of their presence that i watched this film in the first place .
18 however , not long into the proceedings i wanted to just reach into the film and strangle them both .
19 i shouldn't have such feelings towards people i like , but their characters are so infuriating that . . .
20 well trust me , you'll feel the same way .
21 even though both of the lead male characters are usually in the wrong , kelley is hands down the more unlikable of the two , simply because his jerkish actions are calculated .
22 he intends to be a jackass each and every time he does it .
23 jasper on the other hand , only reacts to kelley's provocations , and afterwards comes across as being truly sorry for his impulsive actions .
24 but , as in life , nice guys finish last .
25 for the entire film we watch sam fall in love with the guy no one likes while the film's only sympathetic character gets completely crushed .
26 then , a cancer subplot comes into play ( where things get even more infuriating , if you can imagine that ) .
27 what , things weren't depressing enough for you mr . screenwriter ?
28 who greenlit this project ?
29 who " on earth " thought this would entertain anyone ?
30 perhaps if the film had been structured where kelley perhaps felt some remorse after he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people .
31 but even after he's destroyed these people's lives he continues to be a snob to them , and ruins one more for good measure .
32 here on earth is available on dvd from fox home entertainment .
33 it contains the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions .
34 extras include jessica simpson's music video for " where you are " , a commercial for the film's soundtrack ( which by the way is the only good thing about the film ) , the original theatrical trailer and five tv spots , trailers for other fox releases ( anna and the king , anywhere but here , the beach , drive me crazy , ever after , romeo + juliet , simply irresistible ) , as well as that new fox promo touting their upcoming dvd releases that i really enjoy .
35 the picture and sound quality on the disc are fine . . .
36 nothing that will challenge anyone's audio/video systems of course .
37 fans of this movie ( if any exist ) should enjoy the dvd release .
38 here on earth is not entertaining nor is it compelling .
39 no joy or entertainment value can be derived from any of the events of the film .
40 it is merely a waste of time , money and talent .
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