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deuce bigalow ( rob schneider ) cleans fish tanks .
yeah , i didn't know that was a real job either .
one of his customers is antoine leconte ( oded fehr ) , a successful gigolo .
when antoine has to go to sweden for three weeks , he lets deuce use his house to look after an ailing $800 fish .
fooling around , deuce sets fire to the kitchen and smashes a $6000 fish tank .
after taking a try at one of antoine's clients and earning $10 , deuce decides to prostitute himself to raise the money to replace the fish tank before the fiery-tempered antoine returns .
enter t . j . ( eddie griffin ) , a pimp for " man-whores , " who arranges for deuce to service an assortment of women whose imperfections keep them from dating .
there's an enormous woman ( played by transvestite porn star chi chi la rue ) who hides food in her clothes .
there's claire ( gail o'grady ) whose narcolepsy causes her to fall asleep every few minutes .
tina ( torsten voges ) is so tall her face doesn't fit on the screen , and ruth ( amy poehler ) has tourette's syndrome and shouts obscenities without warning .
finally there's kate ( arija bareikis ) whose sorority sisters secretly paid her fare .
she seems perfect , and deuce quickly falls in love with her .
( she does , we discover later , have an imperfection , but deuce decides it isn't important . )
deuce's life is complicated by a bothersome cop ( william forsythe ) looking for information on antoine and by kate's discovery of his man-whoring .
however , neither threat generates much suspense .
the formula is so familiar that we know how it will end from the start .
" deuce bigalow " is the first project from adam sandler's company happy madison , the formation of which assures that we'll be seeing the sandler style of comedy mass-produced at an increasing rate in years to come .
be afraid .
be very afraid .
the good news is that sandler doesn't actually appear in " deuce " and that rob schneider and eddie griffin are funnier than sandler .
schneider has a sweetness that makes the clueless but good-hearted deuce believable .
griffin's delivery is dead-on , especially in the coining of " technical terms " for t . j . 's profession , as in " don't make me he-bitch man-slap you ! "
there's the expected amount of toilet humor in " deuce . "
( for one thing , deuce's dad is a men's room attendant ) .
does anyone over the age of eight actually find bowel movements that funny ?
for most of us , i think that childhood fascination with bodily functions disappears when we hit the far-side of puberty and discover how funny sex is .
i , for one , will be glad when the toilet trend is finally flushed .
bottom line : " deuce " doesn't offer anything new but it is intermittently funny .
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