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starship troopers is a bad movie .
i mean , a really , really , bad movie .
not only does it cross the line of bad taste when it comes to blood , gore and body parts shown on the screen , it blissfully jumps over that line , apparently unaware that the movie trailers appeal to an audience of five to fifteen year olds ( of which i saw many in the theatre ) .
looking past the appalling sight of overdone violence , we are left with a movie with a thin plot at best , no strong lead characters , a blatant disregard for physics , and a very obvious naziesque theme .
that being said , onto the review : the movie starts with a propaganda message from the federation ( who's logo bears a * strong * resemblance to a nazi german eagle ) , urging the populace to go off and fight the bugs , who are attempting to destroy earth .
the film shows large rallies with young children in attendance , pledging allegiance to the federation ( again , sound familiar ? ) .
as the movie progresses , we are shown terror tactic training , as a drill sargeant very graphically compound fractures one recruits arm , and throws a knife through another's hand .
eventually , the recruits embark on a journey to a location two thirds of the way across the milky way galaxy , to fight the bugs on their home planet .
as our faster than light travelling " heroes " arrive on planet , they drop onto the planet , and burst our of their craft brandishing . . .
" what ? "
you say , " laser beam weapons ?
sonic weapons ?
phasers ?
photon cannons ? " .
nope , they hop out brandishing good old 1997 machine guns , pump action rifles , and tactical nuclear weapons !
i guess a lot of physics money r&d went into travel and not weaponry .
as the assault begins , our group of troopers are seen walking in a straight line through a box canyon .
two members of the group notice rocks slipping and falling above them , and one even sees a streak fly by , but disregards it as nothing .
this of course , leads to more massive carnage , blood shed , and graphic depictions of limbs and heads being ripped and severed from their bodies .
again , i see that military tactics in the future must have evolved at about the same pace as their weapons !
in the end , we see neil patrick " doogie howser " harris burst onto the scene in what could accurately be described as a nazi ss trenchcoat , hat , and gloves .
he does a vulcan mind meld on the giant slug , and then proclaims that the bugs are scared !
this sets the troopers into a frenzy , as they are now one step closer to completing their goal , total genocide of a species ( again , sound familiar ? ? ) .
i have tried very hard not to step on and spoil the plot with this review , but given it's non-existence , i may have anyway .
i could go on for pages ripping this movie apart , but don't want to bore you too badly .
in short , i felt as if i were subjected to a mix between a pro-nazi war film with bugs substituted for allies , a drivers education accident scene film , and a complete blank screen ( the plot , of course ) .
i wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone , anywhere , under any circumstance .
copyright ( c ) 1997 tim jandt " >