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well arnold has completed the seemingly impossible task .
he has made three consecutive unsatisfactory action films .
in a domain that he owns , it is very surprising that this goliath of an action star can not tell a good action script from a bad one .
eraser , back in 1996 , was a confused film that made no attempt at all to make sense .
batman and robin , in 1997 , was the black sheep of the batman series with ridiculous acting , idiotic action scenes , and painfully flashy costumes .
now in 1999 , " end of days " ( not " the end of days " ) is the third strike in a tough at bat for arnold .
is this the end of a powerful action star's long-lived career ?
will arnold ever give us another unforgettable performance in another unforgettable classic like those in the past ( " terminator " , " terminator 2 : judgement day " , " predator " ) ?
or an unforgettable performance in a great guilty pleasure like those in the past ( " commando " , " red sonja " , " true lies " ) ?
it doesn't look that way .
" end of days " begins with the birth of a baby girl in 1979 who inexorably , due to the formation of the stars on that night , will be the carrier of satan's baby the hour before new year's of 2000 .
fortunately for the movie's sake , the girl grows up and now resides in manhattan with skyscrapers , subway trains in dark tunnels , and a myriad of inept nypd officers .
it's an action film's dream come true when the director is given tons of cool stuff to blow up .
imagine if the girl had lived in anytown , usa , where the only thing to destroy is a dairy queen and a post office .
arnold schwarzenegger ( jericho cane ) , in a series of boring events finds himself in the middle of a religious battle between the church , who is trying to hide the girl ( or in some cases trying to kill her ) , and satan ( gabriel byrne ) who is trying to make her pregnant .
if the devil is successful , the world will no longer exist as we know it .
jericho feels it is his duty to protect the girl from everyone because 1 ) he once had faith but no longer does and 2 ) his wife and daughter were killed and he feels responsible for it .
jericho cane is your cliched , by-the-numbers hero right up to his name .
arnold fittingly plays the character as cliched as he can .
he shouts at everyone , from cops to priests , to the devil .
in one truly hilarious scene , which was supposed to be the ultimate dramatic high point , jericho screams to the devil ; " you are a @#$^% ! &
choir boy !
you are a choir boy ! "
those two lines marked the high points of this film .
a movie can still be enjoyable when the supporting cast is more effective than the main actor .
" end of days " fails to contain any memorable performances with the exception of gabriel byrne .
byrne , playing a man who has been made the manifestation of the devil , seems to be the only one who is having fun in this whole movie .
he wonderfully plays a manipulative villain with the power to control everyone at any time .
the annoying thing about his character , however , is that he has the power to kill any human with a simple punch in the face , yet he finds it impossible to seriously hurt jericho .
i can not count the number of times he could have killed jericho and taken the girl from his custody .
the other actors in the film give very weak and unconvincing performances .
kevin pollak , who plays the partner and close friend of jericho , is the supposedly funny character in the film ( every action movie has one ) .
the one problem is that pollak does not deliver one funny line .
robin tunney plays the chosen mother of satan's baby with extreme annoyance .
she gets no sympathy from any of the characters in the film , except arnold who pretends she is his wife and daughter , or any of the viewers in the audience .
in one unnecessary scene , tunney walks out of her room and takes her top off .
is this her job in the film ?
the actors are not to blame entirely because the script is terrible .
you can tell a script is terrible when you are able to predict what will happen minutes before it does .
this little prediction game is a very fun exception to trying to sit through this nonsense of a movie .
in a last attempt to make this movie good , special effects are used to try to entertain the audience .
but without a memorable action scene in the whole film , the director has not done his job successfully .
this film would have gotten a c+ if arnold stood in front of a camera and shouted " you are a ! $@^@ * ^
choir boy ! ! "
for two hours .