Skip to content

HTTPS clone URL

Subversion checkout URL

You can clone with HTTPS or Subversion.

Download ZIP
branch: master
Fetching contributors…

Cannot retrieve contributors at this time

33 lines (32 sloc) 3.966 kb
" have you ever heard the one about a movie so bad that it made a guy run out of the theatre screaming ? "
obviously the producers at columbia tristar did not think that we suffered enough from the first installment , and so to finish us utterly , they have now released " urban legends : final cut " .
this is another " scream " -like feature , consisting merely from the recycled materials of rip-offs from the most pointless movies of all time .
amy ( jennifer morrison ) is a film student who is attending a film school filled with uninspired film students who do not have a clue about what to do .
but just as she reaches the halfway mark of her final semester at prestigious university's film program -- where each year's best thesis production takes the coveted hitchcock prize , a virtual one-way ticket to hollywood success -- she has a chance encounter with campus security guard reese ( loretta devine ) , whose tale of a series of murders based on urban legends at another university inspires amy to try her hand at a fictional thriller organized along similar lines .
soon enough , fake -- and real -- blood starts to flow , and amy is being chased around by scary killer , while her cast and crew get slain , one by one .
is the culprit the original urban legends murderer , just some random psycho , !
a member of the faculty , one of her competitors for the hitchcock , or is there something even more stupid going on ?
this is another one of those tiring , pointless teen slasher flicks : neither scary , funny , or interesting .
it simply lacks the ability and the story to entertain .
the body counts and screams continue to grow , as the weak level of intelligence sinks rapidly .
in fact watching films like that after having watched " scary movie " is impossible keeping a serious face .
several times i tried to prevent myself from laughing , without succeeding .
and then i realized that practically the whole theatre was laughing .
it's the same thing that has been told and told and told over and over again as if it was the revelation of the century .
how many times must we tolerate the same clich ? s that have haunted the slasher genre since its birth ?
it has been so many films about masked killers that most of us have developed an allergy for them .
they are the most stupid , meaningless , predictable and soulless films in existence .
however , director john ottman manages to make " urban legends : final cut " into one of the worst achievements of this godforsaken genre .
what was done with a sense of redemption for past failures and irony in " scream " , ottman takes seriously .
for that reason alone , it is worth a look , just to realize how bad a movie can be .
it's tough to find comparisons for such an achievement , and we have to dig in ancient history to find a movie that would match its intellect .
even movies like " lost in space " and " mission to mars " seem spectacular in its shadow .
we have not seen such waste of t !
ime and resources since " showgirls " ( 1995 ) .
no matter how hard i tried to find positive elements in this so called production , i came up with nothing , except the way the killer was dressed .
here i feel that i have to compliment the costume designers trysha bakker and marie-sylvie deveu , that have wisely replaced the well known scream-mask with a very elegant fencing mask .
jennifer morrison ( " stir of echoes " ) is all right , and the other actors' best achievement is keeping a straight face when pronouncing the words from the script .
in fact the only thing that is terrifying about this film ( with the exception of its screenplay ) is its portray of film schools .
if these graduates will be the directors of the future , then hollywood's golden days are over .
rumors are already spreading through the internet that columbia tristar is already developing a third installment .
let's just hope and pray that it's just an urban legend .
Jump to Line
Something went wrong with that request. Please try again.