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suicide is pointless , everyone should know that .
so what's this movie like ?
you guessed it . . .
pointless .
the virgin suicides focuses on the lives of the five lisbon sisters , from the perspective of the teenage boys who are fascinated by them .
when the youngest lisbon sister commits suicide , it sets in motion a series of events that will change the lives of many people forever .
that's what the press materials for the film probably say .
now here's what i say : the virgin suicides is a huge waste of time .
boring , arty , pretentious junk that is about as entertaining as . . .
well as committing suicide .
the movie lost me early on , immediately following the scene where the younger daughter jumps to her death from her bedroom window .
the girl's father ( james woods ) holds her lifeless body in his arms as their horrified family looks on .
then , as the scene ends , the lawn sprinklers come on .
is that a joke ?
is that supposed to be amusing in some way ?
from then on , the movie failed to draw me back in .
performances are the only saving grace of the virgin suicides .
woods plays the only character who would actually interest me when he came onscreen , but the performance of kirsten dunst as the next youngest daughter lux is worth mentioning as well .
dunst has the potential to be a big star , if she chooses her projects well .
and while this film is awful , she manages to come away from it virtually unscathed .
there are also a few cameos in the film here and there , which only frustrate the audience as they leave you wanting more .
as a result , they all seem rather pointless ( although there's a brief role given to michael pare from eddie and the cruisers which turns out to be his best role since . . .
well since eddie and the cruisers ) .
perhaps the virgin suicides would have worked had the story not been told from the point of view of people who had very little access to the main characters .
we never get any significant insight into the girls and why they might be feeling what they're feeling .
all we really know is that mrs . lisbon ( kathleen turner ) is strict and keeps them on a short leash .
what mother doesn't ?
it's certainly no reason to commit suicide .
with the godfather part iii , sofia coppola proved that she had no business being in front of the camera .
with the virgin suicides , she proves she has no business behind it either .
having family connections doesn't entitle you to be allowed to make movies .
so attention film directors . . .
stop letting your daughters pout their way into the industry .
just because they share your dna doesn't mean they share your talent .
[r]
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