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guilt . guilt is something i felt while watching basic instinct for the ninth time ; the penultimate t & a thriller , basic instinct made my last few teenage years worth living .
but i know so well that it's a terrible film , made by a terrible director incapable of feeling guilt .
verhoeven went on to make the even more offensive showgirls and , on november seventh , 1997 , unleashed starship troopers to innocent moviegoers like me , who cannot control the urge to see giant bug movies .
the pic begins with the most unintentional laugh of the year .
a simple , white on black title card reads " starship troopers " -my friends and i speculated that the night before the prints were shipped , verhoeven realized he forgot the credits .
is this how a hundred million dollar movie should open ?
were the rest of the film that subdued . . .
starship troopers is about a group of white , blond-haired himbos and bimbos who all have spanish last names .
they graduate high school , join the military , and then , rather curiously , decide to travel to an alien planet and destroy all lifeforms on that planet .
the story is so incomprehensible , and told so bombastically , it's akin to 129 minutes of someone screaming punishments at you in a foreign tongue .
( aside , club lovers will be happy to know that dance music hasn't changed in the future . )
one plus : starship troopers contains some very funny sequences , specifically the newsreels of the future .
hysterically funny , actually .
but the cynicism of these reports left me curious as to whether verhoeven felt pessimistic about the story in between .
the storytelling lacks focus , to say the least .
the politics of the film are scary .
the actions of the major female characters are dictated by their out-of-control libidos .
there's even a creepy sex scene : the lovely dina meyer makes out , nude , with the sickening van dien while half her face is covered by her opaque sweater , just the way he seems to like it .
i use the term sickening because van dien is the least appealing actor i've encountered in a big budget picture ; all chiseled features and machismo , he even barks a eulogy at a funeral like military orders .
of course , verhoeven's probably the one to blame , and perhaps i'm jealous because i'm so disgusting .
at any rate , a movie called starship troopers shouldn't be about sex .
exactly ten years ago , verhoeven made robocop , which was about nothing but skillfully made and oddly moving .
and r-rated , despite its goofy premise .
maybe it's asking too much for verhoeven to make a pg-movie , then-he's a master of insipid violence .
however , ten year old boys would adore starship troopers if they could see it .