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i have a confession .
even though i am a movie junkie-i saw eye of the beholder and yet i still watch movies-i've never seen any of the original godzillas .
( note that godzilla 2000 is not a sequel to the u . s . godzilla released in 1998 ; it's the american release of a 1999 godzilla flick called gojira ni-sen mireniamu . )
so , part of me was excited as i drove to the local multiplex to see godzilla 2000-the latest entry in an almost 50-year old franchise .
this was a long-awaited treat .
i was expecting a goofy good time , complete with bad dubbing , science fair level sets and a ludicrous plot line .
the last thing i expected was for the movie to be so ? boring .
i can only imagine what the theatre full of kids i saw this with felt .
you do get all of the " so bad they're good " traits so normally associated with the franchise .
but you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot .
it's a deal i wasn't willing to accept .
hiroshi kashiwabara and waturu mimura's script crams in way too many details , and in many cases , fails to follow up on them .
the maneuver is not only disconcerting , but gives the movie a permanent logy , weighty feel .
godzilla starts off destroying power plants and then just stops .
was it a whim ?
a bold political statement ?
i don't know .
its foe , an ancient meteor that looks like prudential's logo , doesn't just fight the beast from the far east .
no , it's got to have life-saving powers , a plot to erase " the data " from japan , a desire to clone and the ability to become a spaceship and then some kind of tentacled space creature .
there's a battle between the head of the godzilla prediction unit ( takehiro murata ) and a slimy government official ( hiroshi abe ) over the handling of godzilla , and personal issues .
and then there's the plucky news photographer and blah , blah , blah .
it's like watching magnolia all over again-except without the good writing , keen sociological insight and aimee mann songs .
what a waste .
when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you , godzilla 2000 does the job-it's entertaining and goes down easy .
the action scenes are cheesy in their grandeur though a little sluggish .
the dubbing is nice and awful , with murata sounding like he's in constant need of a cough drop .
as for the dialogue , one line summarizes the goofiness factor : " did anyone see that flying rock go by ? "
this movie also marked the first time since the three stooges that i've heard the word " imbecile " used in casual conversation .
though the summer movie season is drying up and godzilla 2000 has its moments , i wouldn't take kids to see it .
they'll probably end up asking more questions than charlie rose .