aspiring broadway composer robert ( aaron williams ) secretly carries a torch for his best friend , struggling actor marc ( michael shawn lucas ) .
the problem is , marc only has eyes for " perfect 10s , " which the geeky , insecure robert certainly is not .
meanwhile , marc's spoiled ( hetero ) female roommate , cynthia ( mara hobel ) , spends her days lying about their apartment and harrassing magazine editor tina brown .
writer-director victor mignatti's " very romantic comedy " ( as the ad campaign states ) is supposed to be ( pardon the pun ) a gay ol' romp , but it's hard to have much fun with these annoying , self-absorbed characters and their shallow personal problems : marc and cynthia have sitcom-level domestic " crises " ( such as trying to kill bugs--how hilarious ) ; robert and marc go to acting class ( how riveting ) ; the zaftig cynthia goes on eating binges ( how original ) .
but more than anything else , the three whine .
marc whines about his turbulent romance with an apparent " 10 , " david ( hugh panaro ) , the hunky musician from across the way ; robert whines about not being able to find the right guy ; cynthia whines about having to find a job ( horrors ) .
the terrible trio whine their way to a happy ending that is wholly undeserved .
add in overly broad performances and some laughable lipsynching by panaro , and you're left with one astonishing piece of cinematic damage .