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everybody in this film's thinking of alicia .
no , this is not a documentary on those of us after we first saw the " cryin' " video .
this is one of those erotic thrillers , but not like one starring shannon whirry or shannon tweed .
first off , there's zero sex , almost no nudity , and it's not as well-plotted as one of those tweed flicks .
well , anyway .
the " plot . "
alicia plays , well , the babysitter , who is taking care of some kids one night while the parents ( j . t .
walsh and lee garlington ) go out to a party .
the film , trying to be like one of those introspective erotic thrillers , shows every characters' thoughts , except alicia's .
the thing is alicia's in most of them in most cases , and the thoughts aren't too kosher .
first off , there's her boyfriend ( jeremy london , who gave one of the all-time lousy performances in " mallrats , " and is only a notch better here ) , who's a dorky kid who hangs out with a kind of bully , played by nicky katt from " suburbia " ( who shows he's got that quiet creepiness down pat once again ) .
they decide they want to crash her babysitting job , looking for the typical babysitting hanky-panky .
somethine like that .
the film intercuts between the subplots ( alicia babysitting , nicky and jeremy , the party ) and each characters' thoughts .
we get to see jeremy and nicky's dreams of doing a little threeway with alicia , j . t .
thinking of coming home to find alicia naked in the bathtub ( she has it all covered up , the little tease ) , and , worst of all , lee garlington dreaming of that hunk , george segal .
it even shows them in bed together .
yea .
i so wanted to see george and lee garlington in bed , though i guess i'm used to george after seeing her and mary tyler moore fooling around in " flirting with disaster . "
the ending is some kind of big tragedy thing , but come on .
like we care about any of the characters .
the only interesting one is alicia , mainly because she's alicia , and we mostly see her in the fantasies .
so i guess she's some kind of mystery or something .
but she is never explored further .
so , basically , this film is just a series of mastabatory images , sometimes featuring a non-nude alicia ( once again , sadly ) , sometimes featuring a scantily-clad george segal ( once again , sadly ) .
i watched this on one of those free previews of showtime or cinemax one night , and let me tell you , it is the only way to watch this film .
i mean , there's a reason they put these kinds of films on late at night : they're just as good as sleeping pills .
and this one is one big fat waste of time , even for an alicia film .
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