Implementing Akka's correction (sort of)

code/Melos/game/script/dinning.rpy

@@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ label silence:
 
     "So I stay silent, dismissing the question with a mysterious smile and a wave of the hand. She does not insist. Antiope is extremely protective of her own personal space, and respects the one of others with the same might."
 
-    "She hands me a bunch of pastries wrapped in a small piece of fabric. I accept one and starts eating slowly, with little bites, savoring the moment far more than the cake. As for her, she devours them one by one in a single mouthful each and I remark that she has piled up enough food to feed a whole army. Following my glance, she displays a all teeth out smile."
+    "She hands me a bunch of pastries wrapped in a small piece of fabric. I accept one and starts eating slowly, with little bites, savoring the moment far more than the cake. As for her, she devours them one by one in a single mouthful each and I remark that she has piled up enough food to feed a whole army. Following my glance, she displays an all teeth out smile."
 
     antiope "Eat like a wolf. As much as you can while you can, so to be ready for when you will have nothing eat."
 
@@ -117,7 +117,7 @@ label liar:
 
     "These events are first and foremost a present to the gods, and the competitors must be as resplendent as they are skilled, the sight of their nude bodies as much an offering as their actual performances. And resplendent she was."
 
-    "I helped her oiled herself before dawn. A pleasant moment certainly. But there is an absurd difference between watching a greasy skin from close under the weak light of a candle and contemplating it shining under the bright sun."
+    "I helped her oil herself before dawn. A pleasant moment certainly. But there is an absurd difference between watching a greasy skin from close under the weak light of a candle and contemplating it shining under the bright sun."
 
     "A thousand reflections were stressing each line, each curve of her body, every movement of her sculpted muscles revealing a new detail, a new secret, a new wonder, in a never-ceasing display of beauty."
 
@@ -208,7 +208,7 @@ label quirk:
 
     ambrosia default "{i}Withdrawn{/i} would be a more accurate word. But slowly, you began to speak more openly. Can you explain why?"
 
-    antiope "I never really thought about this. I guess it's happened naturally. At first, we were pretty much strangers traveling together, and I was more wary than friendly. I'm not the kind to fake amicability in such situations. It's only with time passing on that things got better."
+    antiope "I never really thought about this. I guess it happened naturally. At first, we were pretty much strangers traveling together, and I was more wary than friendly. I'm not the kind to fake amicability in such situations. It's only with time passing on that things got better."
 
     ambrosia default "How?"
 

code/Melos/game/script/endings.rpy

@@ -18,7 +18,9 @@ label coward:
 
     "I feel bad, nauseous, stiff. My head is heavy, aching, my mouth furred, my throat hurting. I'm aware of a hand on my shoulder, of two fingers tapping repeatedly on my forehead. Reluctantly, I open my eyes, painfully, and the darkness recesses."
 
-    "I am lying in an unknown seat, folded in an uncomfortable position, one arm as a pillow. My hair and my dress are competing with each other for the position of most messy, but that's probably only because I cannot see my face. But I can see {i}her{/i}."
+    "I am lying in an unknown seat, folded in an uncomfortable position, one arm as a pillow. I don't know which of my hair or my dress is the most messy, but I guess my face would probably win this prize if I could see it. However, there is one thing I can see perfectly."
+
+    "And that's {i}her{/i}."
 
     show antiope with fade
 
@@ -41,7 +43,7 @@ label coward:
 
     stop sound fadeout 1.0
 
-    "A few minutes later, after a lighting flash toilette, I'm back and ready to go. I do a bad joke about not knowing my own limits and them we move on. In the end, the cold facts are that we have a long trip ahead of us, and we already are several hours behind our schedule."
+    "A few minutes later, after a lightning fast toilette, I'm back and ready to go. I do a bad joke about not knowing my own limits and them we move on. In the end, the cold facts are that we have a long trip ahead of us, and we already are several hours behind our schedule."
 
     stop sound
 
@@ -120,7 +122,7 @@ label apology:
 
     "I don't know how she found me. I must have dozed off at some point, while she kept searching. We're back in the banquet room, almost empty as dawn is upon us. The only people still around are those who fell asleep here and there, defeated by their many excesses. I could scream with all my lunges that they will not wake up. I'm still alone in the end."
 
-    "Antiope looks extremely pitiful. Ravaged. Vanned. There is no trace of her usual confidence on the desperate face looking at me."
+    "Antiope looks extremely pitiful. Ravaged. Distressed. There is no trace of her usual confidence on the desperate face looking at me."
 
     antiope "I'm really, really sorry. I didn't want to... I'm sorry."
 
@@ -191,7 +193,7 @@ label talk:
 
     "She takes a deep breath. Antiope has talked more this night than she usually did in days. But contrary to her precedent drunken outburst, she sounds more serene, more honest, less theatrical."
 
-    antiope "It's hard to put into words, but I need to try even so. I'm no nice girl. Violence, furry, death and destruction run in my blood. That is very obvious."
+    antiope "It's hard to put into words, but I need to try even so. I'm no nice girl. Violence, fury, death and destruction run in my blood. That is very obvious."
 
     "She flexes her muscles, points out the marks on her body demonstrating her daily usage of weapons."
 
@@ -213,21 +215,21 @@ label talk:
 
     ambrosia default "Why didn't we have this conversation earlier?"
 
-    antiope "I don't really know. I went overboard a few times already when you were there, even if never as hardly as today... Most of the time, I managed to escape this talk by cutting short the dialog and fleeing... And the other times..."
+    antiope "I don't really know. I went overboard a few times already when you were there, even if never as horribly as today... Most of the time, I managed to escape this talk by cutting short the dialog and fleeing... And the other times..."
 
     ambrosia "Yes. I know. I'm the one who fled."
 
     "I look at her right in the eyes, seeing my own face reflected in her pupils. Yes, there are a few times when I just kept silent on Antiope's sick habits. Today the first time she ever hurt me, but on several mornings, her face or fists were bearing the marks of fights she got herself into. And I never dared to ask."
 
-    "I will not say idiot things like \"I'm as much a culprit as you\". Because that's not true. But the crime of Antiope, her refusal to open up her heart before the darkness in it frees itself and almost destroys her own world... I can relate to it. It is nothing more than a distorted, flawed, extreme reflection of my own weakness."
+    "I will not say idiotic things like \"I'm as much a culprit as you\". Because that's not true. But the crime of Antiope, her refusal to open up her heart before the darkness in it frees itself and almost destroys her own world... I can relate to it. It is nothing more than a distorted, flawed, extreme reflection of my own weakness."
 
     "I readjust my position, closing the distance between me and the broken warrior. Our faces are only separated by the width of a hand when I speak again."
 
     ambrosia "Antiope. You are a big dumb idiot. But you're not the only one."
 
     ambrosia "The moment is not perfect, but it will never be. I cannot ask you to be honest with me when I'm not telling you the whole truth myself."
 
-    ambrosia "Antiope, despite your many flaws, despite your early and lately behavior, I know I'm about to forgive you. I somehow know that you could do much worse, and that even if that would hurt me terribly, I would still forgive you."
+    ambrosia "Antiope, despite your many flaws, despite your old and late behavior, I know I'm about to forgive you. I somehow know that you could do much worse, and that even if that would hurt me terribly, I would still forgive you."
 
     ambrosia smile "And I would do so Antiope, because I love you. I adore you. I would go to the underworld to negotiate with Hades for you."
 
@@ -292,7 +294,7 @@ label talk:
 
     "Or perhaps, on the contrary it's the new proximity which is strange. Objectively, before, we never talked that much. I idealized her from far, and she never was really sociable. Now, we're at least both conscious of the other's existence as a real person."
 
-    "It's awkward. I know I will probably never awake any passion in Antiope, and that continuing to live by her side will certainly break my heart on a regular basis. I'm sad. New tears are just waiting for an excuse to roll out of my eyes. Yet I feel lighter. Like I've been freed of iron chains I didn't even know existed before."
+    "It's awkward. I know I will probably never arouse any passion in Antiope, and that continuing to live by her side will certainly break my heart on a regular basis. I'm sad. New tears are just waiting for an excuse to roll out of my eyes. Yet I feel lighter. Like I've been freed of iron chains I didn't even know existed before."
 
     "And if my relationship with my amazonian beauty of friend didn't evolve the way I would have loved it to, I think it is now at least {i}healthier{/i} that it was previously."
 
@@ -420,7 +422,7 @@ label fight:
 
     "Also, I'm afraid."
 
-    "The harder she tries to hide, the more pressure she puts on herself. Her temper has shortened radically, the slightest of vexations releases her rage. She is a hornet's net on two legs, and could break at any moment, unleashing the fury of nature over whoever will be there at that wrong instant."
+    "The harder she tries to hide, the more pressure she puts on herself. Her temper has shortened radically, the slightest of vexations releases her rage. She is a hornet's nest on two legs, and could break at any moment, unleashing the fury of nature over whoever will be there at that wrong instant."
 
     "Namely me."
 

code/Melos/game/script/garden.rpy

@@ -96,7 +96,7 @@ label stupor:
 
     antiope "And to make things even worse, the suffering army can then be crushed utterly regardless of its many sacrifices, pushed into a retreat so chaotic that many small isolated groups are left behind, and must now make their way back on their own, in hunger and fear. For a perfect agony, you can even add some rain or snow."
 
-    antiope "A lot more will die. But quite a number will also somehow survive. Among them, some will have sacrificed all morality, decency, humanity to escape the sirens of Inferno. They succeeded in returning to their home, but they will never be the same, their behavior forever changed."
+    antiope "A lot more will die. But quite a number will also somehow survive. Among them, some will have sacrificed all morality, decency, humanity to escape the sirens of the Underworld. They succeeded in returning to their home, but they will never be the same, their behavior forever changed."
 
     "Antiope suddenly stops talking and shuts her mouth tight. Her face shows a myriad of terrible expressions at once, hate, anger, fear, shame. She clings on her seat with both hands and applies such strength to it that she would probably crush it was it not made of stone. Her eyes are bottomless pits of darkness."
 

code/Melos/game/script/intro.rpy

@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ label intro:
 
     "I remember that evening in a tavern overflowing with people."
 
-    "Our table was crowd, but that did not bother her. Actually, she was smiling, joking, {i}flirting{/i} with the man next seat. I kept my best polite face, but deep inside my chest the infernal fire of jealousy and the chilling wind of despair were battling each other."
+    "Our table was crowded, but that did not bother her. Actually, she was smiling, joking, {i}flirting{/i} with the man next seat. I kept my best polite face, but deep inside my chest the infernal fire of jealousy and the chilling wind of despair were battling each other."
 
     show poem "αἶψα δ᾽ ἐξίκοντο· σὺ δ᾽, ὦ μάκαιρα\nμειδιάσαισ᾽ ἀθάνατῳ προσώπῳ,\nἤρε᾽ ὄττι δηὖτε πέπονθα κὤττι\nδηὖτε κάλημι\n\n{i}arriving quickly--you, Blessed One,\nwith a smile on your unaging face\nasking again what have I suffered\nand why am I calling again{/i}" with dissolve
 
@@ -156,7 +156,7 @@ label intro3:
 
     "I gather my will. I clench my teeth. I rise."
 
-    "My knees are shaking like a set of knucklebones. I'm shivering more than an old lady. Nonetheless, I stumble on the short distance separating me from the main building. With each step, my footing is more secure, my pace more stable. Not that I'm less afraid. But once you jumped into the water, you have no other choice than to swim or sink."
+    "My knees are shaking like a set of knucklebones. I'm shivering more than an old lady. Nonetheless, I stumble on the short distance separating me from the main building. With each step, my footing is more secure, my pace more stable. Not that I'm less afraid. But once you've jumped into the water, you have no other choice than to swim or sink."
 
     stop music fadeout 1.0