Hello. 24th Precinct. Officer Jones speaking.
Help. Yeah, uh, it was wild, I mean really bizarre.
Calm down sir! Now, what do you want to report?
Well, I'd like to report a UFO sighting.
A what?
What do you mean 'what?' An unidentified flying object!
Wait, tell me exactly what you saw.
Well, I was driving home from a party about three hours ago, so it was about 2:00 AM, when I saw this bright light overhead.
Okay. And then what happened?
Oh, man. Well, it was out of this world. I stopped to watch the light when it disappeared behind a hill about a kilometer ahead of me.
Alright. Then what?
Well, I got back in my car and I started driving toward where the UFO landed.
Now, how do you know it was a UFO? Perhaps you only saw the lights of an airplane [No], or the headlights of an approaching car [No]. Things like that happen, you know.
Well if it was that, how do you explain 'the BEAST'?
What do you mean, 'the BEAST'?
Okay. I kept driving for about five minutes when all of a sudden, this giant, hairy creature jumped out in front of my car.
Oh, yeah. Then what?
Well, then, the beast picked up the front of my car and said, 'Get out of the car. I'm taking you to my master!' Something like that.
Wow? A hairy alien who can speak English! Come on!
I'm not making this up, if that's what you're suggesting. Then, when I didn't get out of the car, the beast opened the car door, carried me on his shoulders to this round-shaped flying saucer, and well, that's when I woke up along side the road. The beast must have knocked me out and left me there.
Well, that's the best story I've heard all night, sir. Now, have you been taking any medication, drugs, or alcohol in the last 24 hours? You mentioned you went to a party.
What? Well, I did have a few beers, but I'm telling the truth.
Okay, okay. We have a great therapist that deals with THESE kinds of cases.
I'm not crazy.