Hey, what's new?
Not much. Just sitting here eating some Chinese food. Is that the paper? Why don't you open it and tell me my horoscope?
Ok, wait a minute ... let's see. I'm a Taurus, and it says, Mars is in the third house, and is soon to eclipse Venus. I don't know what that means, but then it says, Your charm and drive will win others over to your way of thinking. Remember to be positive. Sounds good to me.
What about Gemini? What's the prediction?
Since Mercury has crossed paths with Jupiter, your fortunes are falling. Bad luck will follow you today, and you will lose that which you value. Be careful.
That sounds bad! I'm really worried, what should I do? Maybe I should go home and stay in the rest of the day.