Hello and thank you for calling computer technical support.
Uh, yes, I have a problem ...
Your call is important to us, and we will answer your call in the order that it was received. You are number 47 in the queue. Your approximate waiting time is 47 minutes.
Jason, speaking. How can I help you?
Oh, I'm saved. I thought I was going to have to wait all day.
Okay, what's the problem?
Yeah, well, I bought one of your laptop computers about three weeks ago, but it just isn't running right.
Okay, well, sorry to say, but your computer is no longer under warranty. [What?!] It ran out yesterday.
What? A three-week warranty? [Yeah, great isn't it.]. Ah!!!
Okay, okay, what seems to be the problem?
Well, first of all, the thing always freezes [Yeah.] and has crashed a zillion times ... [Always.]
Uh, sir ...
... and I think the computer's infected with spyware and the big banana trojan virus ... [That's normal.] That's my biggest ... that's normal? ... That's my biggest concern.
Oh, oh, uh, sir ...
... and plus there was a ton of preinstalled, third-party programs that just clutter the computer, and I'm at wit's end trying to get this thing to work.
Sir. I have to put you on hold.
What?
It's going to take us a minute or so to diagnose the problem. [Huh?!] I'm going to transfer you to our ONE technician.
One ... one!? But ...
Thank you for waiting. Your call is important to us. You are number 84 in the queue. You approximate waiting time is 2 hours, 17 minutes or whenever we get around to answering your call. [ End of call and continuation of computer advertisement ... ]