rav edits

ravelling_wrath/chapter_04.py

@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 
 The explanation had been simple enough. "I'm going to have you do a series of games," she'd said. "Really, they're mental exercises, but it's more fun to call them games."
 
-"The first one is the Releasing Game, where you let your body feel whatever it <em>wants</em> to feel. The game is to let your anger run wild. Then once you're fully angry, we can do the other games, like the Calming Game, where you try to bring yourself down again."
+"The first one is the Releasing Game, where you let yourself feel whatever you <em>want</em> to feel. The game is to let your anger run wild. Then once you're fully angry, we can do the other games, like the Calming Game, where you try to bring yourself down again."
 
 I had let her go on with the explanation. If I had trouble getting mad for the games, Yali'd said, she could help me like she had in the ordeal we've just done. And there were a lot of variations of the games – there was the Controlling Game where you stay angry but just don't <em>do</em> anything, the Expressing Game where you yell about things that don't <em>hurt</em> anyone, and so on. The idea was, if I practiced doing these games enough, then I'd get better at controlling my emotions, even when I wasn't doing the games on purpose. I listened to all of it and acted like I was interested, and I even asked her some questions about it. But I was only dragging it out. The longer the explanation went, the longer I could put off actually <em>doing</em> it.
 
@@ -228,15 +228,15 @@
 
 "Well, yeah, I mean, I'd rather just run around outside instead of messing around inside a gym, but I know my way around, yeah. What about it?"
 
-"In case you haven't noticed… My body doesn't work very well. I'm clumsy, I feel chilly all the time, I get awful period cramps, I bruise really easily… and some other things, too. It's just so <em>cliché</em> for Farseers. You know, blind seers, frail oracles who sit around in their temples all day instead of getting any exercise? I'm just lucky I have 20-20 vision so I'm not a <em>complete</em> stereotype. And the thing I really can't stand is, I kind of think the Waiting God wants it that way. Like it specifically picks people who are physically weak. So I, I, I really want to get in better shape. I guess it's not as dramatic as how you're going to be going against the Blood God, but, I, I just, I really don't want to just do the Waiting God wants, too, I…" Yali trailed off.
+"In case you haven't noticed… My body doesn't work very well. I'm clumsy, I feel chilly all the time, I get awful period cramps, I bruise really easily… and some other things, too. It's just so <em>cliché</em> for Farseers. You know, blind seers, frail oracles who sit around in their temples all day instead of getting any exercise? I'm just lucky I have 20-20 vision so I'm not a <em>complete</em> stereotype. And the thing I really can't stand is, I kind of think the Waiting God wants it that way. Like it specifically picks people who are physically weak. So, I know just exercising won't fix everything, but I, I, I really want to get in better shape. I guess it's not as dramatic as how you're going to be going against the Blood God, but, I, I just, I really don't want to just do the Waiting God wants, too, I…" Yali trailed off.
 
-I wasn't quite sure what to say. Yali seemed a little more emotional than usual, so I wanted to sympathize. It would even make me feel better! It was so tiring to just keep grinding away at the "games", I'd be glad to make a real emotional connection. But the problem was, I didn't know what to sympathize <em>with</em>. It was obviously about more than just the physical thing, but what was the connection between defying the Blood God and defying the Waiting God? The Waiting God wasn't <em>bad</em>, was it? Well, at least there was <em>something</em> I could say to be helpful. "I'll totally show you around the gym if that's what you want! I'd be happy to."
+I wasn't quite sure what to say. Yali seemed a little more emotional than usual, so I wanted to sympathize. It would even make me feel better! It was so tiring to just keep grinding away at the "games", I'd be glad to make a real emotional connection. But the problem was, I didn't know what to sympathize <em>with</em>. It was obviously about more than just the physical thing, but what was so special about defying the <em>Waiting</em> God? The Waiting God wasn't <em>bad</em>, was it? Well, at least there was <em>something</em> I could say to be helpful. "I'll totally show you around the gym if that's what you want! I'd be happy to."
 
 Yali still looked sort of downcast. "Will you go with me… more than just once? I was thinking about why I don't just go do it myself. I think… I don't <em>want</em> to feel this way, but I think I'm worried that people will be judging me because I'm fat. But now it occurs to me that my life is more important than other people judging me. But…"
 
 Now <em>this</em> I could make sense of. "Of course I'll go with you! It'd be no big deal, really. Nobody will look at you funny when I'm around, I'll beat them up."
 
-Yali smiled. "Please don't actually beat anyone up for my sake."
+Yali gave a half smile. "Please don't actually beat anyone up for my sake."
 
 "Oh don't worry, no one will mess with us in the first place, so I won't have to." Yali glared at me a little. "Okay, okay, fine, I won't."