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Minor corrections to punctuation etc #21

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This is a minor proof for correcting punctuation and use of 'which' and 'that'.
Note: this is not an edit and it is not to style. (Both beyond the scope of this project.)

@fatbusinessman fatbusinessman commented on the diff Apr 10, 2013

...igital/strategy/06-developing-digital-transactions.md
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ rely on digitised versions of pre-digital business processes, layered on
top of legacy IT systems, some of which are over 30 years old. They were not
designed with a digital service in mind, being built to replicate paper
forms and processes rather than taking advantage of opportunities to
-pre-populate or respond to user’s selections. They have outdated back-end systems which prevent effective data sharing, and/or they have
+pre-populate or respond to user’s selections. They have outdated back-end systems that prevent effective data sharing, and/or they have
@fatbusinessman

fatbusinessman Apr 10, 2013

To query this one: is the intended meaning that outdated back-end systems inherently prevent effective data sharing, or that these particular outdated back-end systems prevent effective data sharing?

This dates back to @jackfranklin’s initial commit, so I’m not sure who’s best to ask about the intended meaning here.

@jackfranklin

jackfranklin Apr 10, 2013

Contributor

All this content was written by @SheilaBennett, so if we need to clarify meaning, I would talk to Sheila.

@jackfranklin

jackfranklin Apr 22, 2013

Contributor

I have checked this with Sheila and this change is fine.

@jackfranklin jackfranklin commented on the diff Apr 10, 2013

...igital/strategy/06-developing-digital-transactions.md
There has been an over-reliance on a handful of large systems
integrators, [referred to by the Public Administration Select Committee
(PASC) as an ‘oligopoly'](http://www.parliament.uk/business/committees/committees-a-z/commons-select/public-administration-select-committee/news/report-on-Government-it-published/). As a result, the civil service does not have
the necessary depth of understanding and ownership of our digital
-channels to act as an intelligent client”. This makes services less
+channels to act as an "intelligent client”. This makes services less
@jackfranklin

jackfranklin Apr 10, 2013

Contributor

This mismatch of quote / smart quote makes me a bit uneasy as to how Kramdown with deal with it - can we make them match please? (Which ones we use doesn't matter).

@SheilaBennett SheilaBennett commented on the diff Apr 22, 2013

source/digital/strategy/01-summary.md
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ UK population is online but most people rarely use online government services.
The government provides more than 650 transactional services. There is
only a handful of these services where a significant majority of people who could use the
-online option do. Many have a digital option, but few people use it.
+online option, do. Many have a digital option, but few people use it.
@SheilaBennett

SheilaBennett Apr 22, 2013

Contributor

not sure

@jackfranklin

jackfranklin Apr 24, 2013

Contributor

I wrote the "not sure" above there when I was with Sheila to remind myself to come back and write a proper reply. Not convinced the comma here before the 'do' is needed, @sarahrichards ? Sheila & I were not sure.

@sarahrichards

sarahrichards Apr 24, 2013

Don't have to. Adds emphasis. Not worried if it is not there.

@SheilaBennett SheilaBennett commented on the diff Apr 22, 2013

...igital/strategy/06-developing-digital-transactions.md
@@ -73,18 +73,18 @@ The [Civil Service Reform Plan](http://www.civilservice.gov.uk/reform) acknowled
right capability and skills to design, communicate and deliver the
high-quality digital services we require. This digital strategy aligns
with the Civil Service Capabilities Plan; both will be woven into
-departments’ own strategic planning, including their new Improvement
-Plans.
+departments’ own strategic planning, including their new improvement
+plans.
@SheilaBennett

SheilaBennett Apr 22, 2013

Contributor

not sure - included like this on the basis that the new business planning process had specific things called Improvement Plans. E.g. it's a proper noun rather than just putting descriptive text in caps for the sake of it.

@sarahrichards

sarahrichards Apr 24, 2013

We generally don't cap this sort of thing.

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