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5f9c3b8 Aug 21, 2012
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# Description:
# Delegate your birthday greetings, celebrations and quotes to Hubot.
#
# Dependencies:
# None
#
# Configuration:
# None
#
# Commands:
# hubot birthday quote for <user> -- congratulate <user> with a random birthday quote
# hubot celebrate me <user> -- congratulate <user> with an inspirational greeting
# hubot happy birthday me <user> -- congratulate <user> with a humorous greeting
#
# Author:
# sopel
module.exports = (robot) ->
robot.respond /(birthday quote)( for )?(.*)/i, (msg)->
name = msg.match[3].trim()
if name.length == 0
msg.send(quote())
else
msg.send(name + " - here's a quote for you: ")
msg.send(quote(name))
robot.respond /(happy birthday)( me )?(.*)/i, (msg)->
name = msg.match[3].trim()
if name.length == 0
msg.send(quote())
else
msg.send(greeting(name))
robot.respond /(celebrate)( me )?(.*)/i, (msg)->
name = msg.match[3].trim()
if name.length == 0
msg.send("You must be kidding.")
else
msg.send(celebrate(name))
celebrate = (name) ->
celebrates[(Math.random() * celebrates.length) >> 0].replace(/{name}/, name);
celebrates = [
"{name} - Hoping that your day will be as special as you are.",
"{name} - Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.",
"May the years continue to be good to you. Happy Birthday {name}!",
"{name} - You're not getting older, you're getting better.",
"{name} - May this year bring with it all the success and fulfillment your heart desires.",
"{name} - Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest.",
"Happy Birthday {name}, and may all the wishes and dreams you dream today turn to reality.",
"May this day bring to you all things that make you smile. Happy Birthday {name}!",
"{name} - Your best years are still ahead of you.",
"{name} - Birthdays are filled with yesterday's memories, today's joys, and tomorrow's dreams.",
"{name} - Hoping that your day will be as special as you are.",
"{name} - You'll always be forever young."
]
greeting = (name) ->
greetings[(Math.random() * greetings.length) >> 0].replace(/{name}/, name);
greetings = [
"Happy Birthday {name}, you're not getting older, you're just a little closer to death.",
"Birthdays are good for you {name}. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!",
"{name} - I'm so glad you were born, because you brighten my life and fill it with joy.",
"{name} - Always remember: growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.",
"{name} - Better to be over the hill than burried under it.",
"You always have such fun birthdays {name}, you should have one every year.",
"Happy birthday to {name}, a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.",
"{name} - We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.",
"Happy Birthday on your very special day {name}, I hope that you don't die before you eat your cake."
]
quote = () ->
quotes[(Math.random() * quotes.length) >> 0];
quotes = [
"Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. - Jean Paul Richter",
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane",
"Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson",
"May you stay forever young. - Bob Dylan",
"The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde",
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire",
"Age is a number and mine is unlisted. - Unknown",
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.- Mark Twain",
"Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come. - Lucy Larcom",
"It takes a long time to grow young. - Pablo Picasso",
"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unkown",
"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - H. V. Prochnow"
]
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