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added pinkman script

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1 parent 9680148 commit 51d27c6fba9cb836a98e71b63eb4a6294d99c0ba @micahlmartin micahlmartin committed Aug 5, 2012
Showing with 41 additions and 0 deletions.
  1. +41 −0 src/scripts/pinkman.coffee
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+# Description:
+# Random quote from Jesse Pinkman of Breaking Bad
+#
+# Commands:
+# hubot pinkman me bitch - Show status of currently running builds
+#
+# Author:
+# Micah Martin
+
+module.exports = (robot) ->
+
+ quotes = [
+ "Yo!",
+ "Bitch!"
+ "Yo...Bitch!",
+ "Gatorade me bitch!",
+ "Look, I like making cherry product, but let's keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don't care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.",
+ "Possum. Big, freaky, lookin' bitch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin' up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he's irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?",
+ "Dude, you scared the shit out of me. When you say it's contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an ebola leak or something. Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.",
+ "Yo, I get I shouldn't call, but I'm in a situation over here, and I need my money. Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?",
+ "Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a man named Spooge?",
+ "No, no, chili P is my signature!",
+ "For what it's worth, getting the shit kicked out of you? Not to say you get used to it, but you do kinda get used to it.",
+ "I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie and flushed down my toilet.",
+ "Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch!",
+ "Yo yo yo, 1 4 8, 3 to the 3, to the 6, to the 9, representin' the ABQ. What up, biatch? Leaveth tone.",
+ "This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... bitch!",
+ "You're my free pass... bitch",
+ "You can't order shit, Adolf.",
+ "Yeah Bitch! Magnets!",
+ "Yeah Mr. White. YEAH SCIENCE!",
+ "What's the point of being an outlaw if I gotta have responsibilities?",
+ "You either run from things or you face them, Mr. White. I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am. I'm the bad guy.",
+ "Got some big cow house way out that way, like two miles, but I don't see nobody. Yeah, where they live... the cows!"
+ ]
+
+ robot.respond /pinkman me bitch/i, (msg) ->
+ randIndex = Math.floor((Math.random()*quotes.length)+1)
+ msg.send quotes[randIndex - 1]
+
+

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