diff --git a/src/scripts/hubotagainsthumanity.coffee b/src/scripts/hubotagainsthumanity.coffee index 5866a5869..f32e822b0 100644 --- a/src/scripts/hubotagainsthumanity.coffee +++ b/src/scripts/hubotagainsthumanity.coffee @@ -16,537 +16,781 @@ # Jonny Campbell (@jonnycampbell) questions = [ - "____? There's a app for that.", - "Why can't I sleep at night?", - "What's that smell?", + "_____ kid tested mother approved.", + "_____: good to the last drop.", + "_____? There's an app for that.", + "_____. Betcha can't have just one.", + "_____. High five bro.", + "_____. It's a trap!", + "_____. That's how I want to die.", + "(Draw 2, Pick 3) _____ + _____ = _____", + "(Draw 2, Pick 3) I went from – to _____, all thanks to.", + "(Pick 2) _____ would be woefully incomplete without _____.", + "(Pick 2) – is a slippery slope that leads to _____.", + "(Pick 2) An international tribunal has found – guilty of _____.", + "(Pick 2) An the Academy Award for – goes to _____.", + "(Pick 2) Before _____, all we had was_____.", + "(Pick 2) Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the office of – has denied your request for _____.", + "(Pick 2) For my next trick, I will pull – out of _____.", + "(Pick 2) I never truly understood – until I encountered _____.", + "(Pick 2) I spent my whole life working toward _____, only to have it ruined by _____.", + "(Pick 2) If God didn't want us to enjoy _____, he wouldn't have given us _____.", + "(Pick 2) In a pinch, _____ can be a suitable substitute for _____.", + "(Pick 2) In a world ravaged by _____, our only solace is _____.", + "(Pick 2) In M. Night Shamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _____ had really been – all along." + "(Pick 2) Lifetime presents _____, the story of _____.", + "(Pick 2) Michael Bay's new three_____hour action epic pits – against _____.", + "(Pick 2) Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite dish is – stuffed with _____.", + "(Pick 2) Step 1: _____ Step 2_____ Step 3: Profit.", + "(Pick 2) That's right I killed _____. How you ask? _____.", + "(Pick 2) What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?", + "(Pick 2) When I was tripping on acid – turned into _____.", + "(Pick 2) You haven't truly lived until you've experienced – and – at the same time.", + "A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _____.", + "After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by _____.", + "After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on “More _____!”", + "After the earthquake, Sean Penn bought ______ to the people of Haiti.", + "Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _____.", + "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _____.", + "Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships _____.", + "Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _____.", + "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _____.", + "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _____.", + "Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____.", + "Coming to Broadway this season, _____: The Musical.", + "Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with ______ and would like your advice.", + "During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____.", + "During Picasso's often_____overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of _____.", + "During sex, I like to think about _____.", + "Every Christmas my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about _____.", + "Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for _____.", + "He who controls _____ controls the world.", + "How am I maintaining my relationship status.", + "I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with ______.", + "I drink to forget _____.", "I got 99 problems but _____ ain't one.", - "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?", - "What's the next Happy Meal toy?", - "Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships ____.", - "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with ____.", - "During Picasso's often-overlooked Brown Period he produced hundreds of paintings of ____.", - "Alternative medecine is now embracing the curative powers of ____.", - "What's that sound?", - "What ended my last relationship?", - "MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with ____.", - "I drink to forget ____.", - "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?", - "This is the way the worlds ends. Not with a bang but with ____.", - "What's a girl's best friend?", - "TSA guidelines now prohibits ____ on airplanes.", - "____. This is how I die.", - "For my next trick I will pull ____ out of ____.", - "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie Hannah Montana struggles with ____ for the first time.", - "____ is a slippery slope that leads to ____.", - "What does Dick Cheney prefer?", - "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for ____.", - "Instead of coal Santa now gives the bad children ____.", - "What's the most emo?", - "In 1000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, ____ will be our currency.", - "What's the next superhero/sidekick duo? (Choose 2)", - "In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that ____ had really been ___ all along.", - "A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without ____.", - "_____. Betcha can't have just one!", - "White people like ____.", - "____. High five, bro.", - "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of ____.", - "In a world savaged by ____, our only solace is _____.", + "I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____.", + "I'm sorry professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _____.", + "In 1,000 years when paper money is but a distant memory, _____ will be our currency.", + "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on _____.", + "In his new self_____produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _____.", + "In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _____.", + "In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proclaims that it has finally eliminated _____.", + "In L.A. county Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _____.", + "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _____.", + "In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _____.", + "In the distant future, historians will agree that _____ marked the beginning of America's decline.", + "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _____ for the first time.", + "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _____ .", + "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _____.", + "Jesus is _____.", + "Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _____.", + "Little Miss Muffet, Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _____.", + "Major League Baseball has banned _____ for giving players an unfair advantage.", + "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _____.", + "Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _____.", + "MTV's new reality show features eight washed_____up celebrities living with _____.", + "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _____.", + "My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found _____.com/_____.", + "My new favorite porn star is Joey “_____” McGee.", + "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _____.", + "Next on ESPN2: The World Series of _____.", + "Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _____.", + "On the third day of Christmas, my true love game to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and _____.", + "Only two things in life are certain: death and _____.", + "Science will never explain the origin of _____.", + "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _____", + "The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____.", + "The class field trip was completely ruined by _____.", + "The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____ acceptance.", + "The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _____.", + "The socialist governments of Scandanavia have declared that access to – is a basic human right.", + "The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is _____.", + "This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of – to save Christmas.", + "This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with _____.", + "This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _____.", + "This month's Cosmo: 'Spice up your sex life by bringing ______ into the bedroom.'", + "This reason on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only _____ and his wits.", + "Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about _____ could kill you.", + "TSA guidelines now prohibit _____ on airplanes.", + "Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their _____.", "War! What is it good for?", - "During sex, I like to think about ____.", + "What am I giving up for Lent?", "What are my parents hiding from me?", - "What will always get you laid?", - "When I'm in prison, I'll have ____ smuggled in.", + "What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?", "What did I bring back from Mexico?", + "What did the US airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?", + "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?", + "What do old people smell like?", + "What does Dick Cheney prefer?", "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?", - "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?", - "How am I maintaining my relationship status?", - "____. It's a trap!", - "Coming to Broadway this season, ____.", - "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on ____.", - "After Hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn brought ____ to the people of New Orleans.", - "Due to a PR fiasco, Tesco no longer offers ____.", - "In his new summer comedy, Rob Schneider is ____ trapped in the body of ____.", - "Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite dish is ____ stuffed with ____.", - "But before I kill you, Mr Bond, I must show you ____.", + "What ended my last relationship?", + "What gets better with age?", "What gives me uncontrollable gas?", - "What do old people smell like?", - "The class field trip was completely ruined by ____.", - "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of ____.", - "What's my secret power?", - "What's there a ton of in heaven?", - "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?", - "I never truly understood ____ until I encountered ____.", - "The US has begun airdropping ___ to the children of Afghanistan.", + "What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?", "What helps Obama unwind?", - "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?", - "____: Good to the last drop.", - "Why am I sticky?", - "What gets better with age?", - "____: kid-tested.", - "What's the crustiest?", - "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% after being exposed to ____.", - "Life was difficult for cavemen before _____.", - "I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with ____.", - "Why do I hurt all over?", - "What am I giving up for Lent?", - "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about ____.", - "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on ____.", - "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of ____.", - "When I was tripping on acid, ____ turned into ____.", - "That's right, I killed ____, How, you ask ? ____.", - "What's my anti-drug?", + "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?", + "What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?", "What never fails to liven up the party?", + "What people like _____.", + "What will always get you laid?", + "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?", + "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?", + "What's a girl's best friend?", + "What's my anti-drug?", + "What's my secret power?", + "What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?", + "What's that smell?", + "What's that sound?", + "What's the crustiest?", + "What's the gift that keeps on giving?", + "What's the most emo?", "What's the new fad diet?", - "Major League Baseball has banned ____ for giving players an unfair advantage." + "What's the next Happy Meal toy?", + "What's there a ton of in heaven?", + "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____.", + "When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50_____foot statue to commemorate _____.", + "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _____.", + "When I pooped, what came out of my butt?", + "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _____.", + "When the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _____.", + "Why am I sticky?", + "Why can't I sleep at night?", + "Why do I hurt all over?" ] answers = [ - "Coat hanger abortions", - "Man meat", - "Autocannibalism", - "Vigorous jazz hands", - "Flightless birds", - "Pictures of boobs", - "Doing the right thing", - "Hunting accidents", - "A cartoon camel enjoying the smooth", - "The violation of our most basic human rights", - "Viagra", - "Self-loathing", - "Spectacular abs", - "An honest cop with nothing left to lose", - "Abstinence", - "A balanced breakfast", - "Mountain Dew Code Red", - "Concealing a boner", - "Roofies", - "Tweeting", - "The Big Bang", - "Amputees", - "Dr. Marting Luther King Jr", - "Former President George W. Bush", - "Being marginalized", - "Smegma", - "Laying an egg", - "Cuddling", - "Aaron Burr", - "The Pope", - "A bleached asshole", - "Horse meat", - "Genital piercings", - "Fingering", - "Elderly Japanese men", - "Stranger danger", - "Fear itself", - "Science", - "Praying the gay away", - "Same-sex ice dancing", - "The terrorists", - "Making sex at her", - "German dungeon porn", - "Bingeing and purging", - "Ethnic cleansing", - "Cheating in the Special Olympics", - "Nickelback", - "Heteronormativity", - "William Shatner", - "Making a pouty face", - "Chainsaws for hands", - "The placenta", - "The profoundly handicapped", - "Tom Cruise", - "Object permanence", - "Goblins", - "An icepick lobotomy", - "Arnold Schwarzenegger", - "Hormone injections", - "A falcon with a cap on its head", - "Foreskin", - "Dying", - "Stunt doubles", - "The invisible hand", - "Jew-fros", - "A really cool hat", - "Flash flooding", - "Flavored condoms", - "Dying of disentery", - "Sexy pillow fights", - "The Three-Fifths compromise", - "A sad handjob", - "Men", - "Historically black colleges", - "Sean Penn", - "Heartwarming orphans", - "Waterboarding", - "The clitoris", - "Vikings", - "Friends who eat all the snacks", - "The Underground Railroad", - "Pretending to care", - "Raptor attacks", - "A micropenis", - "A Gypsy curse", - "Agriculture", - "Bling", - "A clandestine butt scratch", - "The South", - "Sniffing glue", - "Consultants", - "My humps", - "Geese", - "Being a dick to children", - "Party poopers", - "Sunshine and rainbows", - "Mutually-assured destruction", - "Heath Ledger", - "Sexting", - "An Oedipus complex", - "Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale", - "A sausage festival", - "Michael Jackson", - "Skeletor", - "Chivalry", - "Sharing needles", - "Being rich", - "Spontaneous human combustion", - "College", - "Necrophilia", - "The Chinese gymnastics team", - "Global warming", - "Farting and walking away", - "Cookie Monster devouring the Eucharist wafers", - "Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis", - "Penis envy", - "Letting yourself go", - "White people", - "Leaving an awkward voicemail", - "Yeast", - "Natural selection", - "Masturbation", - "Twinkies", - "A LAN party", - "Opposable thumbs", - "A grande sugar-free iced soy caramel macchiato", - "Soiling oneself", - "A sassy black woman", - "Sperm whales", - "Teaching a robot to love", - "Scrubbing under the folds", - "A drive-by shooting", - "Whipping it out", - "Panda sex", - "Catapults", - "Will Smith", - "Toni Morrison's vagina", - "Five-Dollar Foot-longs", - "Land mines", - "A sea of troubles", - "A zesty breakfast burrito", - "Christopher Walken", - "Friction", - "Balls", - "AIDS", - "The KKK", - "Gandhi", - "Dave Matthews Band", - "Preteens", - "The token minority", - "Friends with benefits", - "Pixelated bukkake", - "Substitute teachers", - "Take-backsies", - "A thermonuclear detonation", - "Waiting 'til marriage", - "A tiny horse", - "A can of whoop-ass", - "Dental dams", - "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell", - "Old-people smell", - "Genghis Khan", - "Authentic Mexican cuisine", - "Oversized lollipops", - "Garth Brooks", - "Keanu Reeves", - "Drinking alone", - "The American Dream", - "Taking off your shirt", - "Giving 110%", - "Flesh-eating bacteria", - "Child abuse", - "A cooler full of organs", - "A moment of silence", - "The Rapture", - "Keeping Christ in Chrismas", - "Robocop ", - "That one gay Teletubby", - "Sweet", - "Fancy Feast", + "Tweeting.", + "72 virgins.", + "8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.", + "A 55-gallon drum of lube.", + "A bag of magic beans.", + "A balanced breakfast.", + "A beached whale.", + "A big black dick.", + "A big hoopla about nothing.", + "A bigger, blacker dick.", + "A bleached asshole.", + "A bloody pacifier.", + "A Bop It.", + "A brain tumor.", + "A Burmese tiger pit.", + "A can of whoop-ass.", + "A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.", + "A clandestine butt scratch.", + "A cooler full of organs.", + "A crappy little hand.", + "A death ray.", + "A defective condom.", + "A disappointing birthday party.", + "A dollop of sour cream.", + "A drive-by shooting.", + "A falcon with a cap on its head.", + "A fetus.", + "A foul mouth.", + "A gassy antelope.", + "A gentle caress of the inner thigh.", + "A good sniff.", + "A Gypsy curse.", + "A homoerotic volleyball montage.", + "A hot mess.", + "A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.", + "A lifetime of sadness.", + "A look-see.", + "A low standard of living.", + "A magic hippie love cloud.", + "A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.", + "A mating display.", + "A micropenis.", + "A middle-aged man on roller skates.", + "A mime having a stroke.", + "A monkey smoking a cigar.", + "A mopey zoo lion.", + "A murder most foul.", + "A nuanced critique.", + "A passionate Latino lover.", + "A pinata full of scorpions.", + "A really cool hat.", + "A rival dojo", + "A robust mongoloid.", + "A sad fat dragon with no friends.", + "A sad handjob.", + "A salty surprise.", + "A sassy black woman.", + "A sausage festival.", + "A sea of troubles.", + "A slightly shittier parallel universe.", + "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.", + "A soulful rendition of “Ol' Man River.”", + "A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.", + "A stray pube.", + "A Super Soaker full of cat pee.", + "A sweaty, panting leather daddy.", + "A sweet spaceship.", + "A thermonuclear detonation.", + "A tiny horse.", + "A toxic family environment.", + "A visually arresting turtleneck.", + "A web of lies.", + "A windmill full of corpses.", + "A woman scorned.", + "A zesty breakfast burrito.", + "Aaron Burr.", + "Active listening.", + "Actually taking candy from a baby.", + "Adderall.", + "African children.", + "Agriculture.", + "AIDS.", + "Alcoholism.", + "All of this blood.", + "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.", + "Altar boys.", + "American Gladiators.", + "Amputees.", + "An army of skeletons.", + "An asymmetric boob job.", + "An erection that lasts more than four hours.", + "An ether-soaked rag.", + "An honest cop with nothing left to lose.", + "An icepick lobotomy.", + "An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.", + "An Oedipus complex.", + "An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.", + "Anal beads.", + "Another goddamn vampire movie.", + "Another shitty year.", + "Another shop of morphine.", + "Apologizing.", + "Appreciative snapping.", + "Arnold Schwarzenegger.", + "Asians who aren't good at math.", + "Assless chaps.", + "Attitude.", + "Auschwitz.", + "Authentic Mexican cuisine.", + "Autocannibalism.", + "AXE body spray.", + "Balls.", + "Barack Obama.", + "Basic human decency.", + "BATMAN!!!", + "Beating your wives.", + "Beefin' over turf.", + "Bees?", + "Being a bust adult with many important things to do.", + "Being a dick to children.", + "Being a dinosaur.", + "Being a motherfucking sorcerer.", + "Being awesome at sex.", + "Being fabulous.", + "Being marginalized.", + "Being on fire.", + "Being rich.", + "Bill Nye the Science Guy.", + "Bingeing and purging.", + "Bitches.", + "Black people.", + "Bling.", + "Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars.", + "Boogers.", + "Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.", + "Bosnian chicken farmers.", + "Breaking out into song and dance.", + "Britney Spears at 55.", + "Bullshit.", + "Cards Against Humanity.", + "Carnies.", + "Catapults.", + "Catastrophic Urethral Trauma.", + "Centaurs.", + "Chainsaws for hands.", + "Charisma.", + "Cheating in the Special Olympics.", + "Child abuse.", + "Child beauty pageants.", + "Children on leashes.", + "Chivalry.", + "Christopher Walken.", + "Civilian casualties.", + "Clams.", + "Classist Undertones.", + "Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.", + "Coat hanger abortions.", + "Cockfights.", + "College.", + "Concealing a boner.", + "Consultants.", + "Copping a feel.", + "Coughing into a vagina.", + "Count Chocula.", + "Crippling debt.", + "Crystal meth.", + "Cuddling.", + "Customer service representatives.", + "Cybernetic enhancements.", + "Daddy issues.", + "Daddy's belt.", + "Dancing with a broom.", + "Darth Vader.", + "Date rape.", + "Dead babies.", + "Dead parents.", + "Death by Steven Seagal.", + "Deflowering the princess.", + "Dental dams.", + "Dick Cheney.", + "Dick fingers.", + "Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of “Friends.”", + "Doin' it in the butt.", + "Doing the right thing.", + "Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza.", + "Dorito breath.", + "Double penetration.", + "Drinking alone.", + "Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.", + "Dry heaving.", + "Dwarf tossing.", + "Dying of dysentery.", + "Dying.", + "Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.", + "Eating an albino.", + "Eating an entire snowman.", + "Eating the last known Bison.", + "Edible underpants.", + "Elderly Japanese men.", + "Elf cum.", + "Embryonic stem cells.", + "Emotions.", + "Enormous Scandinavian women.", + "Erectile dysfunction.", + "Estrogen.", + "Ethnic cleansing.", + "Eugenics.", + "Euphoria by Calvin Klein.", + "Exactly what you'd expect.", + "Exchanging pleasantries.", + "Existing.", + "Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.", + "Explosions.", + "Fabricating statistics.", + "Famine.", + "Fancy Feast.", + "Farting and walking away.", + "Fear itself.", + "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.", + "Fetal alcohol syndrome.", + "Fiery poops.", + "Figgy pudding.", + "Finding a skeleton.", + "Finding Waldo.", + "Finger painting.", + "Fingering.", + "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.", + "Five-Dollar Footlongs.", + "Flash flooding.", + "Flesh-eating bacteria.", + "Flightless birds.", + "Flying sex snakes.", + "Foreskin.", + "Forgetting the Alamo.", + "Former President George W. Bush.", + "Free samples.", + "Friction.", + "Friendly fire.", + "Friends who eat all the snacks.", + "Friends with benefits.", + "Frolicking.", + "Fuck Mountain.", + "Fucking up “Silent Night” in front of 300 parents.", + "Full frontal nudity.", + "Gandalf.", + "Geese.", + "Genetically engineered super-soldiers.", + "Genghis Khan.", + "Genital piercings.", + "George Clooney's musk.", + "German dungeon porn.", + "Getting abducted by Peter Pan.", + "Getting drunk on mouthwash.", + "Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.", + "Getting in her pants, politely.", + "Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.", + "Getting really high.", + "Getting so angry that you pop a boner.", + "Ghandi.", + "Ghosts.", + "Gift-wrapping a live hamster.", + "Giving 110%.", + "Gladitorial combat.", + "Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.", + "Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook.", + "Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts.", + "Global warming.", + "Gloryholes.", + "Goats eating cans.", + "Goblins.", + "God.", + "GoGurt.", + "Golden showers.", + "Good grammar.", + "Grandma.", + "Grandpa's ashes.", + "Graphic violence, adult language and some sexual content.", + "Grave robbing.", + "Guys who don't call.", + "Half-assed foreplay.", + "Harry Potter erotica.", + "Heartwarming orphans.", + "Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.", + "Heteronormativity.", + "Hillary Clinton's death stare.", + "Hipsters.", + "Historical revisionism.", + "Historically black colleges.", + "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine.", + "Homeless people.", + "Hope.", + "Hormone injections.", + "Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.", + "Horse meat.", + "Hot Cheese.", + "Hot people.", + "Hot Pockets.", + "Hulk Hogan.", + "Hurricane Katrina.", + "Immaculate conception.", + "Inappropriate yodeling.", + "Incest.", + "Insatiable bloodlust.", + "Intelligent design.", + "Intimacy problems.", + "Italians.", + "Jafar.", + "Jean-Claude Van Damme.", + "Jeff Goldblum.", + "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.", + "Jew-fros.", + "Jewish fraternities.", + "Jibber-jabber.", + "John Wilkes Booth.", + "Judge Judy.", + "Just the tip.", + "Justin Bieber.", + "Kamikaze pilots.", + "Kanye West.", + "Keanu Reaves.", + "Keg stands.", + "Kids with ass cancer.", + "Kim-Jong-il.", + "Krampus, the Austrian Christmas Monster.", + "Lactation.", + "Lady Gaga.", + "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.", + "Land mines.", + "Laying an egg.", + "Leaving an awkward voicemail.", + "Leprosy.", + "Leveling up.", + "Licking things to claim them as your own.", + "Literally eating shit.", + "Living in a trashcan.", + "Lockjaw.", + "Loki, the trickster god.", + "Loose lips.", + "Lumberjack fantasies.", + "Lunchables.", + "Mad hacky-sack skills.", + "Making a friend.", + "Making a pouty face.", + "Making the penises kiss.", + "Making the penises kiss.", + "Mall Santa.", + "Man meat.", + "Masturbation.", + "Me time.", + "Me.", + "MechaHitler.", + "Media coverage.", + "Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament.", + "Men.", + "Menstruation.", + "Michael Jackson.", + "Michelle Obama's arms.", + "Mild autism.", + "Mooing.", + "Moral ambiguity.", + "Morgan Freeman's voice.", + "Mouth herpes.", + "Mr. Clean, right behind you.", + "Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).", + "Multiple stab wounds.", + "Mutually-assured destruction.", + "My collection of high-tech sex toys.", + "My first kill.", + "My genitals.", + "My hot cousin.", + "My humps.", + "My inner demons.", + "My machete.", + "My relationship status.", + "My sex life.", + "My soul.", + "My vagina.", + "Natalie Portman.", + "Natural male enhancement.", + "Natural selection.", + "Nazis.", + "Necrophilia.", + "Neil Patrick Harris.", + "New Age music.", + "Nickelback.", + "Nicolas Cage.", + "Nipple blades.", + "Nocturnal emissions.", + "Not giving a shit about the Third World.", + "Not reciprocating oral sex.", + "Nublile slave boys.", + "Nunchuck moves.", + "Obesity.", + "Object permanence.", + "Old-people smell.", + "Ominous background music.", + "One Ring to rule them all.", + "One thousand Slim Jims.", + "Oompa-Loompas.", + "Opposable thumbs.", + "Overcompensation.", + "Overpowering your father.", + "Oversized lollipops.", + "Pabst Blue Ribbon.", + "Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.", + "Panda sex.", + "Panty raids.", + "Parting the Red Sea.", + "Party poopers.", + "Passable transvestites.", + "Passing a kidney stone.", + "Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.", + "Pedophiles.", + "Peeing a little bit.", + "Penis envy.", + "Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.", + "Pictures of boobs.", + "Pistol-whipping a hostage.", + "Pixelated bukkake.", + "Police brutality.", "Pooping back and forth. Forever.", - "Being a motherfucking sorcerer", - "Jewish fraternities", - "Edible underpants", - "Poor people", - "All-you-can-eat shrimps for $4.99", - "Britney Spears at 55", - "That thing that electrocutes your abs", - "The folly of man", - "Fiery poops", - "Cards Against Humanity", - "A murder most foul", - "Me time", - "The inevitable heat death of the universe", - "Nocturnal emissions", - "Daddy issues", - "The hardworking Mexican", - "Natalie Portman", - "Waking up half-naked in a McDonalds's parking lot", - "Nipple blades", - "Assless chaps", - "Full frontal nudity", - "Hulk Hogan", - "Passive-aggression", - "Ronald Reagan", - "Vehicular manslaughter", - "Menstruation", + "Poor life choices.", + "Poor people.", + "Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.", + "Porn stars.", + "Powerful thighs.", + "Prancing.", + "Praying the gay away.", + "Preteens.", + "Pretending to be happy.", + "Pretending to care.", + "Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game.", + "Pterodactyl eggs.", + "Puberty.", + "Public ridicule.", "Pulling out", - "Picking up girls at the abortion clinic", - "The homosexual agenda", - "The Holy Bible", - "World peace", - "Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up", - "Testicular torsion", - "The milk man", - "A time-travel paradox", - "Hot Pockets", - "Guys who don't call", - "Eating the last known bison", - "Darth Vader", - "Scalping", - "Homeless people", - "The Worlds of Warcraft", - "Gloryholes", - "Saxophone solos", - "Sean Connery", - "God", - "Intelligent design", - "The taint", - "Friendly fire", - "Keg stands", - "Eugenics", - "A good sniff", - "Lockjaw", - "A neglected Tamagotchi", - "The People's Elbow", - "Robert Downey Jr.", - "The heart of a child", - "Seduction", - "Smallpox blankets", - "Licking things to claim them as your own", - "A salty surprise", - "Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes", - "My soul", - "My sex life", - "Pterodactyl eggs", - "Altar boys", - "Forgetting the Alamo", - "72 virgins", - "Raping and pillaging", - "Pedophiles", - "Eastern European Turbo-Folk music", - "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis", - "Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza", - "My collection of high-tech sex toys", - "A middle-aged man on roller skates", - "The Blood of Christ", - "Half-assed foreplay", - "Free samples", - "Douchebags on their iPhones", - "Hurricane Katrina", - "Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry", - "Republicans", - "The glass ceiling", - "A foul mouth", - "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears", - "Getting really high", - "The deformed", - "Michelle Obama's arms", - "Explosions", - "The Übermensch", - "Donald Trump", - "Sarah Palin", - "Attitude", - "This answer is postmodern", - "Crumpets with the Queen", - "Frolocking", - "Team-building exercises", - "Repression", - "Road head", - "A bag of magic beans", - "An asymmetric boob job", - "Dead parents", - "Public ridicule", - "A mating display", - "A mime having a stroke", - "Stephen Hawking talking dirty", - "African Children", - "Mouth herpes", - "Overcompensation", - "Bill Nye the Science Guy", - "Bitches", - "Italians", - "Have some more kugel", - "A windmill full of corpses", - "Her Royal Highness", - "Crippling debt", - "Adderall", - "A stray pube", - "Shorties and blunts", - "Passing a kidney stone", - "Prancing", - "Leprosy", - "A brain tumor", - "Bees ?", - "Puppies !", - "Cockfights", - "Kim Jong-Il", - "Hope", - "9oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin", - "Incest", - "Grave robbing", - "Asians who aren't good at math", - "Alcoholism", - "(I am doing Kegels right now.)", - "Justin Bieber", - "The Jews", - "Bestiality", - "Winking at old people", - "Drum circles", - "Kids with ass cancer", - "Loose lips", - "Auschwitz", - "Civilian casualties", - "Inappropriate yodeling", - "Tangled Slinkys", - "Being on fire", - "The Thong Song", - "A vajazzled vagina", - "Riding off into the sunset", - "Exchanging pleasantries", - "My relationship status", - "Being fabulous", - "Lactation", - "Not reciprocating oral sex", - "Sobbing into a Hungry-Man Frozen Dinner", - "My genitals", - "Date rape", - "Ring Pops", - "GoGurt", - "Judge Judy", - "Lumberjack fantasies", - "The gays", + "Pumping out a baby every nine months.", + "Puppies!", + "Queefing.", + "Quiche.", + "Quivering jowls.", + "Racially-biased SAT questions.", + "Racism.", + "Raping and pillaging.", + "Re-gifting.", + "Repression,.", + "Republicans.", + "Revenge fucking.", + "Riding off into the sunset.", + "Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.", + "Rising from the grave.", + "Road head.", + "Robert Downey, Jr.", + "RoboCop.", + "Ronald Reagan.", + "Roofies.", + "Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.", + "Same-sex ice dancing.", + "Santa Claus.", + "Santa's heavy sack.", + "Sarah Palin.", + "Saxophone solos.", + "Scalping.", + "Science.", "Scientology", - "Estrogen", - "Police brutality", - "Passable transvestites", - "The Virginia Tech Massacre", - "Tiger Woods", - "Dick Fingers", - "Racism", - "Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards", + "Scrotal frostbite.", + "Scrotum tickling.", + "Scrubbing under the folds.", + "Sean Connery.", + "Sean Penn.", + "Seduction.", + "Self-loathing.", + "Seppuku.", + "Serfdom.", + "Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.", + "Sexting.", + "Sexual humiliation.", + "Sexual tension.", + "Sexy pillow fights.", + "Sexy siamese twins.", + "Shaft.", + "Shapeshifters.", + "Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.", + "Sharing needles.", + "Skeletor.", + "Slow motion.", + "Smallpox blankets.", + "Smegma.", + "Sniffing glue.", + "Socks.", + "Soiling oneself.", + "Some really fucked-up shit.", + "Soup that is too hot.", + "Space Jam on VHS.", + "Space muffins.", + "Special musical guest, Cher.", + "Spectacular abs.", + "Sperm whales.", + "Spontaneous human combustion.", + "Spring break!", + "Statistically validated stereotypes.", + "Stephen Hawking talking dirty.", + "Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.", + "Stranger danger.", + "Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.", + "Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.", + "Suicidal thoughts.", + "Sunshine and rainbows.", "Surprise sex!", - "Classist undertones", - "Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars", - "New Age music", - "PCP", - "A lifetime of sadness", - "Doin't it in the butt", - "Swooping", - "The Hamburglar", - "Tentacle porn", - "A hot mess", - "Too much hair gel", - "A look-see", - "Not giving a shit about the Third World", - "American Gladiators", - "The Kool-Aid Man", - "Mr. Snuffleupagus", - "Barack Obama", - "Golden showers", - "Wiping her butt", - "Queefing", - "Getting drunk on mouthwash", - "A M. Night Shyamalan plot twist", - "A robust mongoloid", - "Nazis", - "White privilege", - "An erection that lasts longer than four hours", - "A disappointing birthday party", - "Puberty", - "Two midgets shitting into a bucket", - "Wifely duties", - "The forbidden fruit", - "Getting so angry that you pop a boner", - "Sexual tension", - "Third base", - "A gassy antelope", - "Those times when you get sand in your vagina", - "A Super Soaker full of cat pee", - "Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him)", - "Racially-biased SAT questions", - "Porn stars", - "A fetus", - "Obesity", - "When you fart and a little bit comes out", - "Oompa-Loompas", - "BATMAN!!!", - "Black people", - "Tasteful sideboob", - "Hot people", - "Grandma", - "Cooping a feel", - "The Trail of Tears", - "Famine", - "Finger painting", - "The miracle of childbirth", - "Goats eating cans", - "A monkey smoking a cigar", - "Faith healing", - "Parting the Red Sea", - "Dead babies", - "The Amish", - "Impotence", - "Child beauty pageants", - "Centaurs", - "AXE Body Spray", - "Kanye West", - "Women's suffrage", - "Children on leashes", - "Harry Potter erotica", - "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy", - "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle", - "Dwarf tossing", - "Mathletes", - "Lunchables", - "Women in yogurt commercials", - "John Wilkes Booth", - "Powerful thighs", - "Mr Clean", - "Multiple stab wounds", - "Cybernetic enhancements", - "Serfdom", - "Another goddamn vampire movie", - "Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook", - "A big hoopla about nothing", - "Peeing a little bit", - "The Hustle", - "Ghosts", - "Bananas in Pajamas", - "Active listening", - "Dry heaving", - "Kamikaze pilots", - "The Force", - "Anal beads", - "The Make-A-Wish Foundation" + "Survivor's guilt.", + "Sweet, sweet vengeance.", + "Swiftly achieving orgasm.", + "Switching to Geico.", + "Swooping.", + "Take-backsies.", + "Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.", + "Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missiles.", + "Taking off your shirt.", + "Tangled Slinkys.", + "Tasteful sideboob.", + "Teaching a robot to love.", + "Team-building exercises.", + "Teenage pregnancy.", + "Tentacle porn.", + "Testicular torsion.", + "That thing that electrocutes your abs.", + "The American Dream.", + "The Big Bang.", + "The Blood of Christ.", + "The boners of the elderly.", + "The Care Bear Stare.", + "The Chinese gymnastics team.", + "The chronic.", + "The clitoris.", + "The corporations.", + "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.", + "The day the birds attacked.", + "The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.", + "The economy.", + "The Fanta girls.", + "The folly of man.", + "The forbidden fruit.", + "The Force.", + "The four arms of Vishnu.", + "The gays.", + "The glass ceiling.", + "The Google.", + "The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.", + "The Gulags.", + "The Hamburglar.", + "The hardworking Mexican.", + "The harsh light of day.", + "The heart of a child.", + "The hiccups.", + "The Holy Bible.", + "The homosexual agenda.", + "The human body.", + "The Hustle.", + "The inevitable heat death of the universe.", + "The invisible hand.", + "The Jews.", + "The KKK.", + "The Kool-Aid Man.", + "The Little Engine That Could.", + "The Make-A-Wish foundation.", + "The mere concept of Applebee's.", + "The milk man.", + "The miracle of childbirth.", + "The mixing of the races.", + "The new Radiohead album.", + "The placenta.", + "The Pope.", + "The profoundly handicapped.", + "The Rapture.", + "The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.", + "The shambling corpse of Larry King.", + "The South.", + "The Star Wars Holiday Special.", + "The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.", + "The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.", + "The terrorists.", + "The Three-Fifths Compromise.", + "The tiny calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.", + "The token minority.", + "The Trail of Tears.", + "The true meaning of Christmas.", + "The Ubermensch.", + "The underground railroad.", + "The violation of our most basic human rights.", + "The Virginia Tech Massacre.", + "The World of Warcraft.", + "Third base.", + "Tiny nipples.", + "Tom Cruise.", + "Tongue.", + "Toni Morrison's vagina.", + "Too much hair gel.", + "Tripping balls.", + "Two midgets shitting into a bucket.", + "Unfathomable stupidity.", + "Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.", + "Uppercuts.", + "Vehicular manslaughter.", + "Viagra.", + "Vigilante justice.", + "Vigorous jazz hands.", + "Vikings.", + "Waiting 'til marriage.", + "Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.", + "Waterboarding.", + "Weapons-grade plutonium.", + "Wearing an octopus for a hat.", + "Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.", + "Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.", + "When you fart and a little bit comes out.", + "Whining like a little bitch.", + "Whipping a disobedient slave.", + "Whipping it out.", + "White people.", + "White privilege.", + "Wifely duties.", + "William Shatner.", + "Winking at old people.", + "Wiping her butt.", + "Women in yogurt commercials.", + "Women's suffrage.", + "Words, words, words.", + "World peace.", + "Yeast.", + "YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.", + "Zeus's sexual appetites." ] module.exports = (robot) ->