diff --git a/code/WorkInProgress/mantaObjects.dm b/code/WorkInProgress/mantaObjects.dm
index 62b4821ede211..6afd1af591c34 100644
--- a/code/WorkInProgress/mantaObjects.dm
+++ b/code/WorkInProgress/mantaObjects.dm
@@ -717,6 +717,7 @@ var/obj/manta_speed_lever/mantaLever = null
 	max_stack = 5
 	item_state = "cone_1"
 	wear_state = "cone_hat_1"
+	hat_offset_y = 8
 
 	setupProperties()
 		..()
diff --git a/code/datums/components/hattable.dm b/code/datums/components/hattable.dm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000..bc5f3f14eec3e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/datums/components/hattable.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,107 @@
+TYPEINFO(/datum/component/hattable) // Take a walk through my TWISTED mind.... I'm sorry
+	initialization_args = list(
+		ARG_INFO("death_remove", DATA_INPUT_BOOL, "Remove component and signals on death?", FALSE), // Use this for things that don't revive, or explode on death
+		ARG_INFO("free_hat", DATA_INPUT_BOOL, "Should the parent get a free hat?", FALSE), // For AIs
+		ARG_INFO("default_hat_y", DATA_INPUT_NUM, "Y offset to start with", 0),
+		ARG_INFO("default_hat_x", DATA_INPUT_NUM, "X offset to start with", 0),
+		ARG_INFO("scale_amount", DATA_INPUT_NUM, "Amount to change the size of the hat by", 0)
+	)
+
+/datum/component/hattable  // Compatible stuff should be given hat_offset x and y vars in their own file
+	dupe_mode = COMPONENT_DUPE_HIGHLANDER
+	var/default_hat_y = 0
+	var/default_hat_x = 0
+	var/obj/item/hat = null
+	var/death_throw = FALSE
+	var/death_remove = FALSE
+	var/free_hat = FALSE
+	var/scale_amount = 0
+
+/datum/component/hattable/Initialize(death_remove, free_hat, default_hat_y, default_hat_x, scale_amount)
+	. = ..()
+	RegisterSignal(src.parent, COMSIG_ATTACKBY, PROC_REF(hat_on_thing), override = TRUE)
+	src.death_throw = FALSE
+	src.death_remove = death_remove
+	src.default_hat_y = default_hat_y
+	src.default_hat_x = default_hat_x
+	src.scale_amount = scale_amount
+	if (free_hat) // If the thing gets a free hat (currently just AIs with spacebux) and they haven't received it yet, do that
+		var/free_hat_type = pick(filtered_concrete_typesof(/obj/item/clothing/head, /proc/filter_trait_hats))
+		free_hat_type = new free_hat_type(get_turf(src))
+		hat_on_thing(src.parent, free_hat_type)
+
+
+/datum/component/hattable/proc/hat_on_thing(mob/target as mob, obj/item/item as obj, mob/attacker)
+	if (src.hat)
+		return
+
+	var/atom/movable/hatted = src.parent
+	var/offsetBy_y = 0
+	var/offsetBy_x = 0
+	src.hat = item
+
+	if (istype(src.hat, /obj/item/clothing/head/))
+		ADD_FLAG(src.hat.appearance_flags, KEEP_TOGETHER) // Flags needed for wigs!
+		ADD_FLAG(src.hat.vis_flags, VIS_INHERIT_DIR)
+	else
+		return
+
+	if (attacker)
+		attacker.drop_item()
+
+	offsetBy_y = src.default_hat_y + src.hat.hat_offset_y // Add a hat's own offsets if they have them
+	offsetBy_x = src.default_hat_x + src.hat.hat_offset_x
+	src.hat.pixel_y = offsetBy_y
+	src.hat.pixel_x = offsetBy_x
+
+	src.hat.transform *= src.scale_amount
+	src.hat.layer = hatted.layer + 1
+	src.hat.set_loc(src.parent)
+	hatted.vis_contents += src.hat
+
+	if (src.death_remove)
+		RegisterSignal(src.parent, COMSIG_MOB_DEATH, PROC_REF(die), override = TRUE)
+	RegisterSignal(src.hat, COMSIG_ITEM_PICKUP, PROC_REF(take_hat_off), override = TRUE)
+	return TRUE
+
+/datum/component/hattable/proc/take_hat_off(mob/target, mob/user)
+	if (!src.hat)
+		return
+	var/atom/movable/hatted = src.parent
+
+	src.hat.set_loc(get_turf(hatted))
+	hatted.vis_contents -= src.hat
+	src.hat.layer = OBJ_LAYER
+	src.hat.transform = 1
+	src.hat.pixel_y = 0
+	src.hat.pixel_x = 0
+
+	if(src.death_throw) // If the thing dies, this proc is called and death_throw is set to true, then false
+		var/turf/T = get_ranged_target_turf(src.hat, pick(alldirs), 3)
+		src.hat.throw_at(T, 3, 1)
+		UnregisterSignal(src.parent, list(COMSIG_MOB_DEATH, COMSIG_ATTACKBY))
+		UnregisterSignal(src.hat, COMSIG_ITEM_PICKUP)
+		src.death_throw = FALSE
+		return
+	else
+		UnregisterSignal(src.hat, COMSIG_ITEM_PICKUP)
+
+	if (istype(user, /mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone))
+		SPAWN(0) // Magtractors use an action bar until they do stuff, and then they'll clone a ghost image of the item that's on the floor. Drop that!
+			var/mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone/drone = user
+			var/obj/item/magtractor/mag = locate(/obj/item/magtractor) in drone.tools
+			if (mag.holding)
+				mag.dropItem(src)
+
+	src.hat = null
+
+/datum/component/hattable/proc/die()
+	if (src.hat)
+		src.death_throw = TRUE
+		take_hat_off(src.parent)
+
+
+
+
+
+
diff --git a/code/mob/living/silicon/ai.dm b/code/mob/living/silicon/ai.dm
index 76671e30b5c1d..203c9232e1b59 100644
--- a/code/mob/living/silicon/ai.dm
+++ b/code/mob/living/silicon/ai.dm
@@ -86,6 +86,7 @@ var/global/list/ai_emotions = list("Annoyed" = "ai_annoyed-dol", \
 	density = 1
 	emaggable = 0 // Can't be emagged...
 	syndicate_possible = 1 // ...but we can become a rogue computer.
+	var/default_hat_y = 14
 	var/datum/hud/silicon/ai/hud
 	var/last_notice = 0//attack notices
 	var/network = "SS13"
@@ -108,6 +109,7 @@ var/global/list/ai_emotions = list("Annoyed" = "ai_annoyed-dol", \
 	var/termMute = FALSE
 	var/canvox = 1
 	var/can_announce = 1
+	var/bought_hat = FALSE
 	var/last_announcement = -INFINITY
 	var/announcement_cooldown = 1200
 	var/dismantle_stage = 0
@@ -194,7 +196,6 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 	sound_fart = 'sound/voice/farts/poo2_robot.ogg'
 
 	req_access = list(access_heads)
-	var/obj/item/clothing/head/hat = null
 
 	var/fire_res_on_core = 0
 
@@ -210,26 +211,6 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 	var/datum/ai_hologram_data/holoHolder = new
 	var/list/hologramContextActions
 
-	proc/set_hat(obj/item/clothing/head/hat, var/mob/user as mob)
-		if( src.hat )
-			src.hat.wear_image.pixel_y = 0
-			src.UpdateOverlays(null, "hat")
-			if (user)
-				user.put_in_hand_or_drop(src.hat)
-			else
-				src.hat.set_loc(src.loc)
-			src.hat = null
-		// src.hat.wear_image.pixel_y = 10
-		// src.UpdateOverlays(src.hat.wear_image, "hat")
-		var/image/hat_image = SafeGetOverlayImage(hat.icon_state, hat.icon, hat.icon_state, src.layer+0.3)
-		hat_image.pixel_y = 12
-		if (istype(hat, /obj/item/clothing/head/bighat))
-			hat_image.pixel_y = 20
-
-		src.UpdateOverlays(hat_image, "hat")
-		src.hat = hat
-		hat.set_loc(src)
-
 /mob/living/silicon/ai/proc/give_feet()
 	animate(src, pixel_y = 14, time = 5, easing = SINE_EASING)
 	has_feet = 1
@@ -293,7 +274,11 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 
 	ai_station_map = new /obj/minimap/ai
 	AddComponent(/datum/component/minimap_marker, MAP_AI | MAP_SYNDICATE, "ai")
-
+	SPAWN(0)
+		if (bought_hat || prob(5))
+			AddComponent(/datum/component/hattable, TRUE, TRUE, default_hat_y)
+		else
+			AddComponent(/datum/component/hattable, TRUE, FALSE, default_hat_y)
 	light = new /datum/light/point
 	light.set_color(0.4, 0.7, 0.95)
 	light.set_brightness(0.6)
@@ -340,9 +325,7 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 		var/datum/contextAction/ai_hologram/action = new actionType(src)
 		hologramContextActions += action
 
-	if(prob(5))
-		var/hat_type = pick(childrentypesof(/obj/item/clothing/head))
-		src.set_hat(new hat_type)
+
 
 
 	SPAWN(0)
@@ -595,11 +578,6 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 			user.visible_message(SPAN_ALERT("<b>[user.name]</b> uploads a moustache to [src.name]!"))
 		else if (src.dismantle_stage == 4 || isdead(src))
 			boutput(user, SPAN_ALERT("Using this on a deactivated AI would be silly."))
-	else if( istype(W,/obj/item/clothing/head))
-		user.drop_item()
-		src.set_hat(W, user)
-		user.visible_message( SPAN_NOTICE("[user] places the [W] on the [src]!") )
-		src.show_message( SPAN_NOTICE("[user] places the [W] on you!") )
 		if(istype(W, /obj/item/clothing/head/butt))
 			var/obj/item/clothing/head/butt/butt = W
 			if(butt.donor == user)
@@ -1010,8 +988,6 @@ or don't if it uses a custom topopen overlay
 		return list()
 
 	. = list("[SPAN_NOTICE("This is [bicon(src)] <B>[src.name]</B>!")] [skinsList[coreSkin]]<br>") // skinList[coreSkin] points to the appropriate desc for the current core skin
-	if (src.hat)
-		. += SPAN_NOTICE("[src.name] is wearing the [bicon(src.hat)] [src.hat.name].")
 
 	if (isdead(src))
 		. += SPAN_ALERT("[src.name] is nonfunctional...")
diff --git a/code/mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone.dm b/code/mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone.dm
index 10e9e2dafe947..16a577f3c6e49 100644
--- a/code/mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone.dm
+++ b/code/mob/living/silicon/ghostdrone.dm
@@ -14,6 +14,8 @@
 	punchMessage = "whaps"
 	kickMessage = "bonks"
 
+	var/default_hat_y = 7
+
 	var/datum/hud/ghostdrone/hud
 	var/obj/item/device/radio/radio = null
 
@@ -25,17 +27,16 @@
 	var/faceType
 	var/charging = 0
 	var/newDrone = 0
-
 	var/jetpack = 1 //fuck whoever made this
 
 	var/sees_static = TRUE
 
 	//gimmicky things
-	var/obj/item/clothing/head/hat = null
 	var/obj/item/clothing/suit/bedsheet/bedsheet = null
 
 	New()
 		..()
+		AddComponent(/datum/component/hattable, TRUE, FALSE, default_hat_y, 0, 0.75)
 		remove_lifeprocess(/datum/lifeprocess/radiation)
 		APPLY_ATOM_PROPERTY(src, PROP_MOB_RADPROT_INT, src, 100)
 		START_TRACKING
@@ -163,7 +164,6 @@
 			src.visible_message(SPAN_COMBAT("[src.name] explodes in a shower of lost hopes and dreams."))
 			var/turf/T = get_ranged_target_turf(src, pick(alldirs), 3)
 			if (magHeld) magHeld.throw_at(T, 3, 1) //flying...anything
-			if (src.hat) src.takeoffHat(pick(alldirs)) //flying hats
 			if (src.bedsheet) //flying bedsheets
 				bedsheet.set_loc(get_turf(src))
 				bedsheet.throw_at(T, 3, 1)
@@ -180,7 +180,6 @@
 					msg = "[src.name]'s scream's gain echo and lose their electronic modulation as its soul is ripped monstrously from the cold metal body it once inhabited."
 
 			src.visible_message(SPAN_COMBAT("[msg]"))
-			if (src.hat) src.takeoffHat()
 			src.updateSprite()
 			..()
 
@@ -425,38 +424,7 @@
 				step(AM, t)
 			src.now_pushing = null
 
-	//Four very important procs follow
-	proc/putonHat(obj/item/clothing/head/W as obj, mob/user as mob)
-		src.hat = W
-		W.set_loc(src)
-		var/image/hatImage = null
-		// Treat wigs differently as their icon_state is always bald
-		if (istype(W, /obj/item/clothing/head/wig))
-			hatImage = W.wear_image
-			hatImage.layer = src.layer+0.1
-			hatImage.pixel_y = -7
-		else
-			hatImage = image(icon = W.icon, icon_state = W.icon_state, layer = src.layer+0.1)
-			hatImage.pixel_y = 5
-			hatImage.transform *= 0.9
-		UpdateOverlays(hatImage, "hat")
-		return 1
-
-	proc/takeoffHat(forcedDir = null)
-		UpdateOverlays(null, "hat")
-		src.hat.set_loc(get_turf(src))
-
-		var/turf/T
-		if (isnum(forcedDir))
-			T = get_ranged_target_turf(src, forcedDir, 3)
-		if (isturf(forcedDir))
-			T = forcedDir
-		if (isturf(T))
-			src.hat.throw_at(T, 3, 1)
-
-		src.hat = null
-		return 1
-
+	// Two important procs follow
 	proc/putonSheet(obj/item/clothing/suit/bedsheet/W as obj, mob/user as mob)
 		W.set_loc(src)
 		src.bedsheet = W
@@ -517,16 +485,6 @@
 			playsound(src.loc, 'sound/items/Deconstruct.ogg', 50, 1)
 			if (src.health >= 25)
 				boutput(user, SPAN_NOTICE("The wiring is fully repaired. Now you need to weld the external plating."))
-
-		else if (istype(W, /obj/item/clothing/head))
-			if(src.hat)
-				boutput(user, SPAN_ALERT("[src] is already wearing a hat!"))
-				return
-
-			user.drop_item()
-			src.putonHat(W, user)
-			if (user != src)
-				user.visible_message("<b>[user]</b> gently places a hat on [src]!", "You gently place a hat on [src]!")
 			return
 
 		else if (istype(W, /obj/item/clothing/suit/bedsheet))
@@ -551,10 +509,7 @@
 				if(INTENT_DISARM) //Shove
 					SPAWN(0) playsound(src.loc, 'sound/impact_sounds/Generic_Swing_1.ogg', 40, 1)
 					user.visible_message(SPAN_ALERT("<B>[user] shoves [src]! [prob(40) ? pick_string("descriptors.txt", "jerks") : null]</B>"))
-					if (src.hat)
-						user.visible_message("<b>[user]</b> knocks \the [src.hat] off [src]!", "You knock the hat off [src]!")
-						src.takeoffHat()
-					else if (src.bedsheet)
+					if (src.bedsheet)
 						user.visible_message("<b>[user]</b> pulls the sheet off [src]!", "You pull the sheet off [src]!")
 						src.takeoffSheet()
 				if(INTENT_GRAB) //Shake
@@ -1080,17 +1035,6 @@
 
 		src.changeStatus("stunned", stun SECONDS)
 
-		if (src.hat) //For hats getting shot off
-			UpdateOverlays(null, "hat")
-			src.hat.set_loc(get_turf(src))
-			//get target turf
-			var/x = round(P.xo * 4)
-			var/y = round(P.yo * 4)
-			var/turf/target = get_offset_target_turf(src, x, y)
-
-			src.visible_message(SPAN_COMBAT("[src]'s [src.hat] goes flying!"))
-			src.takeoffHat(target)
-
 		if (damage < 1)
 			return
 
diff --git a/code/modules/barber/barber_shop.dm b/code/modules/barber/barber_shop.dm
index 843fdc8455c35..afb351f5e9045 100644
--- a/code/modules/barber/barber_shop.dm
+++ b/code/modules/barber/barber_shop.dm
@@ -18,6 +18,8 @@
 	desc = "You can't tell the difference, Honest!"
 	icon_state= "wig"
 	wear_layer = MOB_HAIR_LAYER2 //it IS hair afterall
+	hat_offset_y = -15 // offsets for hattable component
+	hat_offset_x = 0
 
 	///Takes a list of style ids to colors and generates a wig from it
 	proc/setup_wig(var/style_list)
diff --git a/code/modules/economy/persistent_bank_purchases.dm b/code/modules/economy/persistent_bank_purchases.dm
index b46e6bed6c21c..8f700175dc9f6 100644
--- a/code/modules/economy/persistent_bank_purchases.dm
+++ b/code/modules/economy/persistent_bank_purchases.dm
@@ -127,11 +127,9 @@ var/global/list/persistent_bank_purchaseables =	list(\
 
 		if(isAI(M))
 			var/mob/living/silicon/ai/AI = M
-			if (ispath(path, /obj/item/clothing))
-				if(ispath(path,/obj/item/clothing/head))
-					AI.set_hat(new path(AI))
-					equip_success = 1
-
+			path = null
+			AI.bought_hat = TRUE
+			return
 
 
 		//The AI can't really wear items...
@@ -788,7 +786,6 @@ var/global/list/persistent_bank_purchaseables =	list(\
 		Create(var/mob/living/M)
 			if (isAI(M))
 				var/mob/living/silicon/ai/A = M
-				var/picked = pick(filtered_concrete_typesof(/obj/item/clothing/head, /proc/filter_trait_hats))
-				A.set_hat(new picked())
+				A.bought_hat = TRUE
 				return 1
 			return 0
diff --git a/code/modules/mechanics/MechanicMadness.dm b/code/modules/mechanics/MechanicMadness.dm
index c8844c5479605..941a910fe8f65 100644
--- a/code/modules/mechanics/MechanicMadness.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mechanics/MechanicMadness.dm
@@ -30,6 +30,8 @@
 	var/welded = FALSE
 	var/can_be_welded = FALSE
 	var/can_be_anchored = UNANCHORED
+	var/default_hat_y = 0
+	var/default_hat_x = 0
 	custom_suicide = TRUE
 	open_to_sound = TRUE
 
@@ -224,6 +226,11 @@
 		icon_state="housing_cabinet"
 		flags = FPRINT | EXTRADELAY | CONDUCT
 		light_color = list(0, 179, 255, 255)
+		default_hat_y = 14
+
+		New()
+			AddComponent(/datum/component/hattable, FALSE, FALSE, default_hat_y)
+			..()
 
 		attack_hand(mob/user)
 			if (istype(user,/mob/living/object) && user == src.loc) // prevent wacky nullspace bug
@@ -265,6 +272,12 @@
 		c_flags = ONBELT
 		light_color = list(51, 0, 0, 0)
 		spawn_contents=list(/obj/item/mechanics/trigger/trigger)
+		default_hat_y = 7
+		default_hat_x = -1
+
+		New()
+			AddComponent(/datum/component/hattable, FALSE, FALSE, default_hat_y, default_hat_x)
+			..()
 
 		proc/find_trigger() // find the trigger comp, return 1 if found.
 			if (!istype(src.the_trigger))
diff --git a/code/obj/item.dm b/code/obj/item.dm
index 037d98be4edbc..5db6e73897d10 100644
--- a/code/obj/item.dm
+++ b/code/obj/item.dm
@@ -22,6 +22,10 @@ ABSTRACT_TYPE(/obj/item)
 	var/inhand_color = null
 	/// storage datum holding it
 	var/datum/storage/stored = null
+	/// Used for the hattable component
+	var/hat_offset_y = 0
+	/// Used for the hattable component
+	var/hat_offset_x = 0
 
 	/*_______*/
 	/*Burning*/
@@ -1154,14 +1158,15 @@ ADMIN_INTERACT_PROCS(/obj/item, proc/admin_set_stack_amount)
 	return "It is \an [t] item."
 
 /obj/item/attack_hand(mob/user)
-	var/checkloc = src.loc
-	while(checkloc && !istype(checkloc,/turf))
-		if (isliving(checkloc) && checkloc != user)
-			if(src in bible_contents)
-				break
-			else
-				return 0
-		checkloc = checkloc:loc
+	var/obj/item/checkloc = src.loc
+	if (!ismob(src.loc)) // Skip this loop if the FIRST loc is a mob, allowing component/hattable to proc take_hat_off on AIs/ghostdrones
+		while(checkloc && !istype(checkloc,/turf))
+			if(isliving(checkloc) && checkloc != user) // This heinous block is to make sure you're not swiping things from other people's backpacks
+				if(src in bible_contents) // Bibles share their contents globally, so magically taking stuff from them is fine
+					break
+				else
+					return 0
+			checkloc = checkloc.loc // Get the loc of the loc! The loop continues until it's the turf of what you clicked on
 
 	if(!src.can_pickup(user))
 		// unholdable storage items
diff --git a/code/obj/item/clothing/hats.dm b/code/obj/item/clothing/hats.dm
index db9eaf464a8c7..620bdd1adb703 100644
--- a/code/obj/item/clothing/hats.dm
+++ b/code/obj/item/clothing/hats.dm
@@ -2036,6 +2036,7 @@ ABSTRACT_TYPE(/obj/item/clothing/head/mushroomcap)
 	name = "mushroom cap"
 	desc = "Makes your lungs feel a little fuzzy."
 	var/additional_desc = ""
+	hat_offset_y = 4
 	icon_state = "mushroom-red"
 	item_state = "mushroom-red"
 
diff --git a/goonstation.dme b/goonstation.dme
index cbf1c0b1b5f61..ab727c02057e5 100644
--- a/goonstation.dme
+++ b/goonstation.dme
@@ -224,6 +224,7 @@ var/datum/preMapLoad/preMapLoad = new
 #include "code\datums\components\glue_ready.dm"
 #include "code\datums\components\glued.dm"
 #include "code\datums\components\hallucinations.dm"
+#include "code\datums\components\hattable.dm"
 #include "code\datums\components\health_maptext.dm"
 #include "code\datums\components\legs.dm"
 #include "code\datums\components\light.dm"