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README.md

It will never be the same, but it will be ok

About

It will never be the same, but it will be ok is a one-on-one music performance created by Guillermo Montecinos inspired in his process of embracing change during his attendance to the School for Poetic Computation in New York. The piece is composed by three musicalized poems which represent three different moments of this process. The listener is encouraged to choose one poem, which is performed in an stripped-down set that allows to engage without distractions and therefore more deeply with the author’s sound portrait of his personal experience.

This piece is performed using a live set composed by a laptop, analog synthesizers, midi controllers, a guitar and pedal effects. The laptop sequences the synthesizers by playing midi scenes which are triggered with a midi controller. It also synchronizes the guitar loop pedal, which is used to build guitar layers, and triggers the poem speech.

It will never be the same, but it will be ok invites the listener to travel into a sound trip through the process of self-change experienced after leaving home, feeling alone, growing up and falling in love. It talks about how tough is to quit life by making deep personal changes, but in the end every change leads to new states when things are ok.

The piece was originally performed between November 10th - 12th at SFPC during the 2017 Fall Final Showcase.

to Anamaría, Claudia and Guillermo
to Sofía

thanks to Aarón

Documentation

Picture by Sofía Luisa

Picture by Sofía Luisa

Picture by Niklas May

The poems

I

It feels so lonely
It feels so weird
I can swim into
A huge sea of nobody

It is dark
And it is cruel
But it feels good
Or it seems to

Leaving home
Going abroad
Is a way of growing up
But it hurts

But it feels good too
It’ll never be the same
But it’ll be ok
And they’ll understand

It feels dark
And you deconstruct yourself
But you build a new one
And the sun rises again

And it seems to be fine
Because you’re all right
And the wind blows
And the river loves you

Cause it’s ok to change
It’s ok to rebuild yourself
They’ll understand
If you’re happy it’s ok

II

It’s ok when you look
With your dark eyes
Into my eyes
It’s not ok, it’s the best I’ve ever felt

When you say I like you
And then I love you
And you kiss my soul
And I kiss your shoulder

It’s different
And it’s new
It’s sincere
Cause it’s love

And you hug me
And it feels like floating
Cause it makes sense
Cause now is the moment

It makes sense
And it’s right
If you love me
We can walk ahead

If you love me
You can understand
What I’m doing
And what I’m not

If you love me
You can go with me
Even if it’s hard
Cause it won’t be easy

III

And it hurts
I know it hurts you
I don’t want to
But it’s the way I feel

Cause I changed myself
Cause I’m growing up
But I still love you
Even if it hurts

Maybe you won’t understand
But I only feel that
If it makes me feel good
I’ll take it

Cause it’s time to break
It’s time to subvert
It’s time improve it
It’s time to make it fly

Time to leave away
The guiltiness
The dependency
The fake love

Because you love me
And I do too
You must be happy
When I feel good

Cause if you’re happy
I’ll be the happiest
It’ll never be the same
But it’ll be ok