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This shit is going to be funny.

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1 parent 01f780e commit bf602a41ec8294cdf8ebf63f20a2557b659259d2 @holman committed
23 public/style.css
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+ margin: 0 20%;
+ font-family: 'Helvetica', sans-serif;
+ font-size: 6em;
+ margin: 30px 0;
+ text-transform: uppercase;
+ font-size: 3em;
+ margin: 30px 0;
+ font-size: 2em;
+ margin: 30px 0;
+ color: #111;
+ margin-bottom: 2em;
BIN  roflclicks.db
Binary file not shown
22 roflclicks.rb
@@ -1,6 +1,26 @@
require 'rubygems'
require 'sinatra'
+require 'haml'
+require 'sqlite3'
+helpers do
+ def number_with_delimiter(number, *args)
+ delimiter ||= ','
+ separator ||= ','
+ begin
+ parts = number.to_s.split('.')
+ parts[0].gsub!(/(\d)(?=(\d\d\d)+(?!\d))/, "\\1#{delimiter}")
+ parts.join(separator)
+ rescue
+ number
+ end
+ end
get '/' do
- "Hello from Sinatra on Heroku!"
+ db ="roflclicks.db")
+ db.execute("update clicks set total = total+1")
+ @total = number_with_delimiter db.get_first_row("select total from clicks").first.to_i
+ haml "index_#{(1..3).to_a[rand(3)]}".to_sym
16 views/index_1.haml
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+%h2 You just clicked the hell out of a random link on the internet.
+ This could have been a
+ since this link was just randomly posted somewhere with no explanation.
+ Quite frankly, are you
+ %b NUTS?
+ Look at how I had to add an extra bit of bold text to the previous nuts. Anytime you have bold nuts, it's just devastating.
+ It's way, super easy to go with the flow and click on anything that gets dropped in your feedreader or twitter stream, but take it from us, we just saved you with this idiosyncratically long-winded explanation. Viruses could be eating your hard drive and disseminating nuclear secrets to former Cold War era opponents, but no, you totally lucked out with us this time.
+ Don't worry; so far
+ %b= @total
+ of you have been suckers.
16 views/index_2.haml
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+ This
+ %b COULD
+ have been an epic, vile rickroll.
+ Consider yourself lucky. Really, I can't believe you just blindly clicked on a link like that. I'm deeply dissatisfied.
+%p But I forgive you. In fact, I'm never going to give you up.
+%p I probably won't even let you down.
+%p I might run around your dessert
+%p And subsequently make you cry
+%p But I'll never say goodbye
+ Like I said to a full
+ %b= @total
+ of you that have blindly clicked this drivel.
12 views/index_3.haml
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+%h2 Dude, you read the title. There is literally a video of 53 girls and one cup on the bottom of this page.
+%p I could have immediately blasted it above-the-fold, in full, charming HD quality, set it to autoplay and used Computer Hacking to turn up your speaker's volume for full effect. But hey, I'm a nice guy; the video is just below.
+%p This video is disgusting. It's got chicks, it's got cups, it's got things transported from one to the other and back again ad nauseam. And that brings "ad nauseam" straight back to its original damn meaning, dammit. This will rock your nauseam so much that you'll wonder where it's been hiding this whole time.
+%p So. Right. The video. It's right below.
+%p Almost there.
+%p Ah, hell, this isn't even a good ploy. There is no video, friend. I've been unwittingly pulling your leg this whole while. It was all in jest; as far as I know, they've only gotten to four girls, one cup, which is far beneath our original goal set forth.
+%p The main reason behind this is a subtle reminder not to blindly click a link without knowing where it's going, my friend. Because the next time you do might be your last.
+%p Anyway, <b>#{@total}</b> people have been blindly clicking too, so don't feel that bad.
+%p Boy, <b>#{@total}</b> is getting to be a lot of people, isn't it? We should invite all of them over, get a high-end video camera, place a solitary cup in the middle of the- no? Okay, suit yourself then.
9 views/layout.haml
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+ %head
+ %title You blind-link-clicker, you
+ %link{:rel=>'stylesheet', :href=>'style.css', :type => "text/css"}
+ %body
+ = yield
+ #footer
+ While you're at it, you might as well just blindly <a href="">click this</a>, too.

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