Hi! My name is Jay. I've been coding since YOL 1995.
I hang out on IRC all the time. I like helping people. But I've very busy. Mostly with computer stuff. :) If you want my help, here's how to get it.
No paste all three of these things every time:
(1) Your current source code. e.g.:
use 5.12.1; say "Hello, world!";
Yes, show me everything. If your question is on line 80, say so. If your program is huge then make a small demo program that recreates the part you're struggling with. Programming is mostly about reducing massively complex things into tiny, trivial things.
(2) You running your program, all output, and the next prompt. e.g.:
$ perl myprog.pl Hello, world! $
Yes, show me everything. I can sift through too much information far faster than I can explain to you what I need and why. If you assume "this is the only bit you need" you're probably just slowing us down, wasting your time and mine.
(3) Your current question. ONE question. What were you expecting? What did you get instead? You may have a dozen problems all at once, but you need to start at one question and we'll go from there. One step at a time.
By fully framing one clear question you've got a good chance of realizing the answer yourself. If not, you've greatly helped me (or anyone else!) help you.
Thanks! See you online! :)
(This document is short version of How To Ask Questions The Smart Way. Please give that a read at your convenience. Thanks!)