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class Excuse < CampfireBot::Plugin
on_command 'excuse', :excuse
def excuse(msg)
excuses = %w(clock_speed
solar_flares
electromagnetic_radiation_from_satellite_debris
static_from_nylon_underwear
static_from_plastic_slide_rules
global_warming
poor_power_conditioning
static_buildup
doppler_effect
hardware_stress_fractures
magnetic_interference_from_money/credit_cards
dry_joints_on_cable_plug
we're_waiting_for_[the_phone_company]_to_fix_that_line
sounds_like_a_Windows_problem,_try_calling_Microsoft_support
temporary_routing_anomaly
somebody_was_calculating_pi_on_the_server
fat_electrons_in_the_lines
excess_surge_protection
floating_point_processor_overflow
divide-by-zero_error
POSIX_compliance_problem
monitor_resolution_too_high
improperly_oriented_keyboard
network_packets_travelling_uphill_(use_a_carrier_pigeon)
Decreasing_electron_flux
first_Saturday_after_first_full_moon_in_Winter
radiosity_depletion
CPU_radiator_broken
It_works_the_way_the_Wang_did,_what's_the_problem
positron_router_malfunction
cellular_telephone_interference
techtonic_stress
piezo-electric_interference
(l)user_error
working_as_designed
dynamic_software_linking_table_corrupted
heavy_gravity_fluctuation,_move_computer_to_floor_rapidly
secretary_plugged_hairdryer_into_UPS
terrorist_activities
not_enough_memory,_go_get_system_upgrade
interrupt_configuration_error
spaghetti_cable_cause_packet_failure
boss_forgot_system_password
bank_holiday_-_system_operating_credits__not_recharged
virus_attack,_luser_responsible
waste_water_tank_overflowed_onto_computer
Complete_Transient_Lockout
bad_ether_in_the_cables
Bogon_emissions
Change_in_Earth's_rotational_speed
Cosmic_ray_particles_crashed_through_the_hard_disk_platter
Smell_from_unhygienic_janitorial_staff_wrecked_the_tape_heads
Little_hamster_in_running_wheel_had_coronary;_waiting_for_replacement_to_be_Fedexed_from_Wyoming
Evil_dogs_hypnotised_the_night_shift
Plumber_mistook_routing_panel_for_decorative_wall_fixture
Electricians_made_popcorn_in_the_power_supply
Groundskeepers_stole_the_root_password
high_pressure_system_failure
failed_trials,_system_needs_redesigned
system_has_been_recalled
not_approved_by_the_FCC
need_to_wrap_system_in_aluminum_foil_to_fix_problem
not_properly_grounded,_please_bury_computer
CPU_needs_recalibration
system_needs_to_be_rebooted
bit_bucket_overflow
descramble_code_needed_from_software_company
only_available_on_a_need_to_know_basis
knot_in_cables_caused_data_stream_to_become_twisted_and_kinked
nesting_roaches_shorted_out_the_ether_cable
The_file_system_is_full_of_it
Satan_did_it
Daemons_did_it
You're_out_of_memory
There_isn't_any_problem
Unoptimized_hard_drive
Typo_in_the_code
Yes,_yes,_its_called_a_design_limitation
Look,_buddy:__Windows_3.1_IS_A_General_Protection_Fault.
That's_a_great_computer_you_have_there;_have_you_considered_how_it_would_work_as_a_BSD_machine?
Please_excuse_me,_I_have_to_circuit_an_AC_line_through_my_head_to_get_this_database_working.
Yeah,_yo_mama_dresses_you_funny_and_you_need_a_mouse_to_delete_files.
Support_staff_hung_over,_send_aspirin_and_come_back_LATER.
Someone_is_standing_on_the_ethernet_cable,_causing_a_kink_in_the_cable
Windows_95_undocumented_"feature"
Runt_packets
Password_is_too_complex_to_decrypt
Boss'_kid_fucked_up_the_machine
Electromagnetic_energy_loss
Budget_cuts
Mouse_chewed_through_power_cable
Stale_file_handle_(next_time_use_Tupperware(tm)!)
Feature_not_yet_implemented
Internet_outage
Pentium_FDIV_bug
Vendor_no_longer_supports_the_product
Small_animal_kamikaze_attack_on_power_supplies
The_vendor_put_the_bug_there.
SIMM_crosstalk.
IRQ_dropout
Collapsed_Backbone
Power_company_testing_new_voltage_spike_(creation)_equipment
operators_on_strike_due_to_broken_coffee_machine
backup_tape_overwritten_with_copy_of_system_manager's_favourite_CD
UPS_interrupted_the_server's_power
The_electrician_didn't_know_what_the_yellow_cable_was_so_he_yanked_the_ethernet_out.
The_keyboard_isn't_plugged_in
The_air_conditioning_water_supply_pipe_ruptured_over_the_machine_room
The_electricity_substation_in_the_car_park_blew_up.
The_rolling_stones_concert_down_the_road_caused_a_brown_out
The_salesman_drove_over_the_CPU_board.
The_monitor_is_plugged_into_the_serial_port
Root_nameservers_are_out_of_sync
electro-magnetic_pulses_from_French_above_ground_nuke_testing.
your_keyboard's_space_bar_is_generating_spurious_keycodes.
the_real_ttys_became_pseudo_ttys_and_vice-versa.
the_printer_thinks_its_a_router.
the_router_thinks_its_a_printer.
evil_hackers_from_Serbia.
we_just_switched_to_FDDI.
halon_system_went_off_and_killed_the_operators.
because_Bill_Gates_is_a_Jehovah's_witness_and_so_nothing_can_work_on_St._Swithin's_day.
user_to_computer_ratio_too_high.
user_to_computer_ration_too_low.
we_just_switched_to_Sprint.
it_has_Intel_Inside
Sticky_bits_on_disk.
Power_Company_having_EMP_problems_with_their_reactor
The_ring_needs_another_token
new_management
telnet:_Unable_to_connect_to_remote_host:_Connection_refused
SCSI_Chain_overterminated
It's_not_plugged_in.
because_of_network_lag_due_to_too_many_people_playing_deathmatch
You_put_the_disk_in_upside_down.
Daemons_loose_in_system.
User_was_distributing_pornography_on_server;_system_seized_by_FBI.
BNC_(brain_not_connected)
UBNC_(user_brain_not_connected)
LBNC_(luser_brain_not_connected)
disks_spinning_backwards_-_toggle_the_hemisphere_jumper.
new_guy_cross-connected_phone_lines_with_ac_power_bus.
had_to_use_hammer_to_free_stuck_disk_drive_heads.
Too_few_computrons_available.
Flat_tire_on_station_wagon_with_tapes.__("Never_underestimate_the_bandwidth_of_a_station_wagon_full_of_tapes_hurling_down_the_highway"_Andrew_S._Tannenbaum)_
Communications_satellite_used_by_the_military_for_star_wars.
Party-bug_in_the_Aloha_protocol.
Insert_coin_for_new_game
Dew_on_the_telephone_lines.
Arcserve_crashed_the_server_again.
Some_one_needed_the_powerstrip,_so_they_pulled_the_switch_plug.
My_pony-tail_hit_the_on/off_switch_on_the_power_strip.
Big_to_little_endian_conversion_error
You_can_tune_a_file_system,_but_you_can't_tune_a_fish_(from_most_tunefs_man_pages)
Dumb_terminal
Zombie_processes_haunting_the_computer
Incorrect_time_synchronization
Defunct_processes
Stubborn_processes
non-redundant_fan_failure_
monitor_VLF_leakage
bugs_in_the_RAID
no_"any"_key_on_keyboard
root_rot
Backbone_Scoliosis
/pub/lunch
excessive_collisions_&_not_enough_packet_ambulances
le0:_no_carrier:_transceiver_cable_problem?
broadcast_packets_on_wrong_frequency
popper_unable_to_process_jumbo_kernel
NOTICE:_alloc:_/dev/null:_filesystem_full
pseudo-user_on_a_pseudo-terminal
Recursive_traversal_of_loopback_mount_points
Backbone_adjustment
OS_swapped_to_disk
vapors_from_evaporating_sticky-note_adhesives
sticktion
short_leg_on_process_table
multicasts_on_broken_packets
ether_leak
Atilla_the_Hub
endothermal_recalibration
filesystem_not_big_enough_for_Jumbo_Kernel_Patch
loop_found_in_loop_in_redundant_loopback
system_consumed_all_the_paper_for_paging
permission_denied
Reformatting_Page._Wait...
..disk_or_the_processor_is_on_fire.
SCSI's_too_wide.
Proprietary_Information.
Just_type_'mv_*_/dev/null'.
runaway_cat_on_system.
Did_you_pay_the_new_Support_Fee?
We_only_support_a_1200_bps_connection.
We_only_support_a_28000_bps_connection.
Me_no_internet,_only_janitor,_me_just_wax_floors.
I'm_sorry_a_pentium_won't_do,_you_need_an_SGI_to_connect_with_us.
Post-it_Note_Sludge_leaked_into_the_monitor.
the_curls_in_your_keyboard_cord_are_losing_electricity.
The_monitor_needs_another_box_of_pixels.
RPC_PMAP_FAILURE
kernel_panic:_write-only-memory_(/dev/wom0)_capacity_exceeded.
Write-only-memory_subsystem_too_slow_for_this_machine._Contact_your_local_dealer.
Just_pick_up_the_phone_and_give_modem_connect_sounds._"Well_you_said_we_should_get_more_lines_so_we_don't_have_voice_lines."
Quantum_dynamics_are_affecting_the_transistors
Police_are_examining_all_internet_packets_in_the_search_for_a_narco-net-trafficker
We_are_currently_trying_a_new_concept_of_using_a_live_mouse.__Unfortunately,_one_has_yet_to_survive_being_hooked_up_to_the_computer.....please_bear_with_us.
Your_mail_is_being_routed_through_Germany_..._and_they're_censoring_us.
Only_people_with_names_beginning_with_'A'_are_getting_mail_this_week_(a_la_Microsoft)
We_didn't_pay_the_Internet_bill_and_it's_been_cut_off.
Lightning_strikes.
Of_course_it_doesn't_work._We've_performed_a_software_upgrade.
Change_your_language_to_Finnish.
Fluorescent_lights_are_generating_negative_ions._If_turning_them_off_doesn't_work,_take_them_out_and_put_tin_foil_on_the_ends.
High_nuclear_activity_in_your_area.
What_office_are_you_in?_Oh,_that_one.__Did_you_know_that_your_building_was_built_over_the_universities_first_nuclear_research_site?_And_wow,_aren't_you_the_lucky_one,_your_office_is_right_over_where_the_core_is_buried!
The_MGs_ran_out_of_gas.
The_UPS_doesn't_have_a_battery_backup.
Recursivity.__Call_back_if_it_happens_again.
Someone_thought_The_Big_Red_Button_was_a_light_switch.
The_mainframe_needs_to_rest.__It's_getting_old,_you_know.
I'm_not_sure.__Try_calling_the_Internet's_head_office_--_it's_in_the_book.
The_lines_are_all_busy_(busied_out,_that_is_--_why_let_them_in_to_begin_with?).
Jan__9_16:41:27_huber_su:_'su_root'_succeeded_for_...._on_/dev/pts/1
It's_those_computer_people_in_X_{city_of_world}.__They_keep_stuffing_things_up.
A_star_wars_satellite_accidently_blew_up_the_WAN.
Fatal_error_right_in_front_of_screen
That_function_is_not_currently_supported,_but_Bill_Gates_assures_us_it_will_be_featured_in_the_next_upgrade.
wrong_polarity_of_neutron_flow
Lusers_learning_curve_appears_to_be_fractal
We_had_to_turn_off_that_service_to_comply_with_the_CDA_Bill.
Ionization_from_the_air-conditioning
TCP/IP_UDP_alarm_threshold_is_set_too_low.
Someone_is_broadcasting_pygmy_packets_and_the_router_doesn't_know_how_to_deal_with_them.
The_new_frame_relay_network_hasn't_bedded_down_the_software_loop_transmitter_yet._
Fanout_dropping_voltage_too_much,_try_cutting_some_of_those_little_traces
Plate_voltage_too_low_on_demodulator_tube
You_did_wha..._oh__dear_....
CPU_needs_bearings_repacked
Too_many_little_pins_on_CPU_confusing_it,_bend_back_and_forth_until_10-20%_are_neatly_removed._Do__not__leave_metal_bits_visible!
_Rosin__core_solder?_But...
Software_uses_US_measurements,_but_the_OS_is_in_metric...
The_computer_fleetly,_mouse_and_all.
Your_cat_tried_to_eat_the_mouse.
The_Borg_tried_to_assimilate_your_system._Resistance_is_futile.
It_must_have_been_the_lightning_storm_we_had_(yesterday)_(last_week)_(last_month)
Due_to_Federal_Budget_problems_we_have_been_forced_to_cut_back_on_the_number_of_users_able_to_access_the_system_at_one_time._(namely_none_allowed....)
Too_much_radiation_coming_from_the_soil.
Unfortunately_we_have_run_out_of_bits/bytes/whatever._Don't_worry,_the_next_supply_will_be_coming_next_week.
Program_load_too_heavy_for_processor_to_lift.
Processes_running_slowly_due_to_weak_power_supply
Our_ISP_is_having_{switching,routing,SMDS,frame_relay}_problems
We've_run_out_of_licenses
Interference_from_lunar_radiation
Standing_room_only_on_the_bus.
You_need_to_install_an_RTFM_interface.
That_would_be_because_the_software_doesn't_work.
That's_easy_to_fix,_but_I_can't_be_bothered.
Someone's_tie_is_caught_in_the_printer,_and_if_anything_else_gets_printed,_he'll_be_in_it_too.
We're_upgrading_/dev/null
The_Usenet_news_is_out_of_date
Our_POP_server_was_kidnapped_by_a_weasel.
It's_stuck_in_the_Web.
Your_modem_doesn't_speak_English.
The_mouse_escaped.
All_of_the_packets_are_empty.
The_UPS_is_on_strike.
Neutrino_overload_on_the_nameserver
Melting_hard_drives
Someone_has_messed_up_the_kernel_pointers
The_kernel_license_has_expired
Netscape_has_crashed
The_cord_jumped_over_and_hit_the_power_switch.
It_was_OK_before_you_touched_it.
Bit_rot
U.S._Postal_Service
Your_Flux_Capacitor_has_gone_bad.
The_Dilithium_Crystals_need_to_be_rotated.
The_static_electricity_routing_is_acting_up...
Traceroute_says_that_there_is_a_routing_problem_in_the_backbone.__It's_not_our_problem.
The_co-locator_cannot_verify_the_frame-relay_gateway_to_the_ISDN_server.
High_altitude_condensation_from_U.S.A.F_prototype_aircraft_has_contaminated_the_primary_subnet_mask._Turn_off_your_computer_for_9_days_to_avoid_damaging_it.
Lawn_mower_blade_in_your_fan_need_sharpening
Electrons_on_a_bender
Telecommunications_is_upgrading._
Telecommunications_is_downgrading.
Telecommunications_is_downshifting.
Hard_drive_sleeping._Let_it_wake_up_on_it's_own...
Interference_between_the_keyboard_and_the_chair.
The_CPU_has_shifted,_and_become_decentralized.
Due_to_the_CDA,_we_no_longer_have_a_root_account.
We_ran_out_of_dial_tone_and_we're_and_waiting_for_the_phone_company_to_deliver_another_bottle.
You_must've_hit_the_wrong_any_key.
PCMCIA_slave_driver
The_Token_fell_out_of_the_ring._Call_us_when_you_find_it.
The_hardware_bus_needs_a_new_token.
Too_many_interrupts
Not_enough_interrupts
The_data_on_your_hard_drive_is_out_of_balance.
Digital_Manipulator_exceeding_velocity_parameters
appears_to_be_a_Slow/Narrow_SCSI-0_Interface_problem
microelectronic_Riemannian_curved-space_fault_in_write-only_file_system
fractal_radiation_jamming_the_backbone
routing_problems_on_the_neural_net
IRQ-problems_with_the_Un-Interruptible-Power-Supply
CPU-angle_has_to_be_adjusted_because_of_vibrations_coming_from_the_nearby_road
emissions_from_GSM-phones
CD-ROM_server_needs_recalibration
firewall_needs_cooling
asynchronous_inode_failure
transient_bus_protocol_violation
incompatible_bit-registration_operators
your_process_is_not_ISO_9000_compliant
You_need_to_upgrade_your_VESA_local_bus_to_a_MasterCard_local_bus.
The_recent_proliferation_of_Nuclear_Testing
Elves_on_strike._(Why_do_they_call_EMAG_Elf_Magic)
Internet_exceeded_Luser_level,_please_wait_until_a_luser_logs_off_before_attempting_to_log_back_on.
Your_EMAIL_is_now_being_delivered_by_the_USPS.
Your_computer_hasn't_been_returning_all_the_bits_it_gets_from_the_Internet.
You've_been_infected_by_the_Telescoping_Hubble_virus.
Scheduled_global_CPU_outage
Your_Pentium_has_a_heating_problem_-_try_cooling_it_with_ice_cold_water.(Do_not_turn_off_your_computer,_you_do_not_want_to_cool_down_the_Pentium_Chip_while_he_isn't_working,_do_you?)
Your_processor_has_processed_too_many_instructions.__Turn_it_off_immediately,_do_not_type_any_commands!!
Your_packets_were_eaten_by_the_terminator
Your_processor_does_not_develop_enough_heat.
We_need_a_licensed_electrician_to_replace_the_light_bulbs_in_the_computer_room.
The_POP_server_is_out_of_Coke
Fiber_optics_caused_gas_main_leak
Server_depressed,_needs_Prozac
quantum_decoherence
those_damn_raccoons!
suboptimal_routing_experience
A_plumber_is_needed,_the_network_drain_is_clogged
50%_of_the_manual_is_in_.pdf_readme_files
the_AA_battery_in_the_wallclock_sends_magnetic_interference
the_xy_axis_in_the_trackball_is_coordinated_with_the_summer_solstice
the_butane_lighter_causes_the_pincushioning
old_inkjet_cartridges_emanate_barium-based_fumes
manager_in_the_cable_duct
We'll_fix_that_in_the_next_(upgrade,_update,_patch_release,_service_pack).
HTTPD_Error_666_:_BOFH_was_here
HTTPD_Error_4004_:_very_old_Intel_cpu_-_insufficient_processing_power
The_ATM_board_has_run_out_of_10_pound_notes.__We_are_having_a_whip_round_to_refill_it,_care_to_contribute_?
Network_failure_-__call_NBC
Having_to_manually_track_the_satellite.
Your/our_computer(s)_had_suffered_a_memory_leak,_and_we_are_waiting_for_them_to_be_topped_up.
The_rubber_band_broke
We're_on_Token_Ring,_and_it_looks_like_the_token_got_loose.
Stray_Alpha_Particles_from_memory_packaging_caused_Hard_Memory_Error_on_Server.
paradigm_shift...without_a_clutch
PEBKAC_(Problem_Exists_Between_Keyboard_And_Chair)
The_cables_are_not_the_same_length.
Second-system_effect.
Chewing_gum_on_/dev/sd3c
Boredom_in_the_Kernel.
the_daemons!_the_daemons!_the_terrible_daemons!
I'd_love_to_help_you_--_it's_just_that_the_Boss_won't_let_me_near_the_computer._
struck_by_the_Good_Times_virus
YOU_HAVE_AN_I/O_ERROR_->_Incompetent_Operator_error
Your_parity_check_is_overdrawn_and_you're_out_of_cache.
Communist_revolutionaries_taking_over_the_server_room_and_demanding_all_the_computers_in_the_building_or_they_shoot_the_sysadmin._Poor_misguided_fools.
Plasma_conduit_breach
Out_of_cards_on_drive_D:
Sand_fleas_eating_the_Internet_cables
parallel_processors_running_perpendicular_today
ATM_cell_has_no_roaming_feature_turned_on,_notebooks_can't_connect
Webmasters_kidnapped_by_evil_cult.
Failure_to_adjust_for_daylight_savings_time.
Virus_transmitted_from_computer_to_sysadmins.
Virus_due_to_computers_having_unsafe_sex.
Incorrectly_configured_static_routes_on_the_corerouters.
Forced_to_support_NT_servers;_sysadmins_quit.
Suspicious_pointer_corrupted_virtual_machine
It's_the_InterNIC's_fault.
Root_name_servers_corrupted.
Budget_cuts_forced_us_to_sell_all_the_power_cords_for_the_servers.
Someone_hooked_the_twisted_pair_wires_into_the_answering_machine.
Operators_killed_by_year_2000_bug_bite.
We've_picked_COBOL_as_the_language_of_choice.
Operators_killed_when_huge_stack_of_backup_tapes_fell_over.
Robotic_tape_changer_mistook_operator's_tie_for_a_backup_tape.
Someone_was_smoking_in_the_computer_room_and_set_off_the_halon_systems.
Your_processor_has_taken_a_ride_to_Heaven's_Gate_on_the_UFO_behind_Hale-Bopp's_comet.
it's_an_ID-10-T_error
Dyslexics_retyping_hosts_file_on_servers
The_Internet_is_being_scanned_for_viruses.
Your_computer's_union_contract_is_set_to_expire_at_midnight.
Bad_user_karma.
/dev/clue_was_linked_to_/dev/null
Increased_sunspot_activity.
We_already_sent_around_a_notice_about_that.
It's_union_rules._There's_nothing_we_can_do_about_it._Sorry.
Interference_from_the_Van_Allen_Belt.
Jupiter_is_aligned_with_Mars.
Redundant_ACLs._
Mail_server_hit_by_UniSpammer.
T-1's_congested_due_to_porn_traffic_to_the_news_server.
Data_for_intranet_got_routed_through_the_extranet_and_landed_on_the_internet.
We_are_a_100%_Microsoft_Shop.
We_are_Microsoft.__What_you_are_experiencing_is_not_a_problem;_it_is_an_undocumented_feature.
Sales_staff_sold_a_product_we_don't_offer.
Secretary_sent_chain_letter_to_all_5000_employees.
Sysadmin_didn't_hear_pager_go_off_due_to_loud_music_from_bar-room_speakers.
Sysadmin_accidentally_destroyed_pager_with_a_large_hammer.
Sysadmins_unavailable_because_they_are_in_a_meeting_talking_about_why_they_are_unavailable_so_much.
Bad_cafeteria_food_landed_all_the_sysadmins_in_the_hospital.
Route_flapping_at_the_NAP.
Computers_under_water_due_to_SYN_flooding.
The_vulcan-death-grip_ping_has_been_applied.
Electrical_conduits_in_machine_room_are_melting.
Traffic_jam_on_the_Information_Superhighway.
Radial_Telemetry_Infiltration
Cow-tippers_tipped_a_cow_onto_the_server.
tachyon_emissions_overloading_the_system
Maintenance_window_broken
We're_out_of_slots_on_the_server
Computer_room_being_moved.__Our_systems_are_down_for_the_weekend.
Sysadmins_busy_fighting_SPAM.
Repeated_reboots_of_the_system_failed_to_solve_problem
Feature_was_not_beta_tested
Domain_controller_not_responding
Someone_else_stole_your_IP_address,_call_the_Internet_detectives!
It's_not_RFC-822_compliant.
operation_failed_because:_there_is_no_message_for_this_error_(#1014)
stop_bit_received
internet_is_needed_to_catch_the_etherbunny
network_down,_IP_packets_delivered_via_UPS
Firmware_update_in_the_coffee_machine
Temporal_anomaly
Mouse_has_out-of-cheese-error
Borg_implants_are_failing
Borg_nanites_have_infested_the_server
error:_one_bad_user_found_in_front_of_screen
Please_state_the_nature_of_the_technical_emergency
Internet_shut_down_due_to_maintenance
Daemon_escaped_from_pentagram
crop_circles_in_the_corn_shell
sticky_bit_has_come_loose
Hot_Java_has_gone_cold
Cache_miss_-_please_take_better_aim_next_time
Hash_table_has_woodworm
Trojan_horse_ran_out_of_hay
Zombie_processes_detected,_machine_is_haunted.
overflow_error_in_/dev/null
Browser's_cookie_is_corrupted_--_someone's_been_nibbling_on_it.
Mailer-daemon_is_busy_burning_your_message_in_hell.
According_to_Microsoft,_it's_by_design
vi_needs_to_be_upgraded_to_vii
greenpeace_free'd_the_mallocs
Terrorists_crashed_an_airplane_into_the_server_room,_have_to_remove_/bin/laden._(rm_-rf_/bin/laden)
astropneumatic_oscillations_in_the_water-cooling
Somebody_ran_the_operating_system_through_a_spelling_checker.
Rhythmic_variations_in_the_voltage_reaching_the_power_supply.
Keyboard_Actuator_Failure.__Order_and_Replace.
Packet_held_up_at_customs.
Propagation_delay.
High_line_impedance.
Someone_set_us_up_the_bomb.
Power_surges_on_the_Underground.
Don't_worry;_it's_been_deprecated._The_new_one_is_worse.
My_raccoon_has_hepatitis.
)
excuse = excuses[rand(excuses.size)].gsub("_", " ")
msg.speak("Your excuse is: #{excuse}")
end
end
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