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Gather a whole bunch of sand
Make a really hot fire
Learn how to make glass from sand and fire
Decide whether you want a tall glass or a short glass
Make the glass
Make ice
Pour water into cube trays and place in freezer to make ice.
Push button on freezer to get ice
Make sure it's not on the water setting
Purchase ice from the store
Steal dirty ice from near by cooler at tailgate
If you're in Europe, there is no ice. You have to special order it and they'll hate you and take an hour to get it to you.
Put Ice in glass
Place 1 cube at a time until glass is half full of ice
Purchase vodka
If you're cheap use bad vodka
If you don't want a bad headache, purchase better vodka
Pour vodka into glass
If you're an alcoholic more half or more
If you're not an alcoholic pour half or less
Pick your soda
Go to store decide on which soda
At hotel, you may have to settle for diet pepsi or coke.
Pour soda in
Make sure it doesn't overflow depending on your size of glass
Drink the contents of the glass
Repeat steps 1-12 for next drink