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removed this beeyatch

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1 parent 692b4cd commit 1f647f2764e69dc0124e46805e43a13443c39aff @mandylauderdale committed Oct 10, 2012
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  1. +0 −318 2012 JSConfEU Lyrics.md
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-Brogrammer Drama
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-Brogrammer drama
-Poppin his collar and raging on code
-Brogrammer drama
-He’s not a CEO, he’s a CEBro
-He spends a lot of precious time mean muggin' in aviators
-He only dines on Muscle Milk to him there’s nothing greater!
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-Stay in the roid zone
-While getting a tan down at the pool
-Hoodies and headphones
-Doesn’t give a damn he thinks he looks cool
-Give him some Redbull and Mountain Dew to prep for conference season
-Oh nevermind he drinks it like water for no good reason
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-Brogrammer drama
-Just got a new tribal tattoo
-Brogrammer drama
-His dance moves were on the news
-He does his pushups with one hand while coding with the other
-He’s patenting some caffeine pills called May I Have Another?
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-He has 5 startups
-Hired some guys from the local frat
-In his Porche doing fistpumps
-And his rottweiler ate your cat
-He’s good with the ladies, loves Nickleback, and gets so mad he shakes
-He has his laptop strapped to the treadmill and loves brotein shakes
-Brogrammer drama, kindof like high school
-Brogrammer drama, so much like high school
-Brogrammer drama, oooo-weeee-ooooo!
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-You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You
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-You’re nobody till you’ve tasted Michael Rogers’ coffee
-You’re nobody till Max Ogden has mapped your cat
-If you haven’t tried Aaron Quince’s bacon, oh you’re missin out
-When Felix live codes a MySQL parser in node, I want to scream and shout
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-The world isn’t the same after you’ve ridden in a delorean
-As sure as James Welton is under age
-You’re nobody till Paolo has randomly decided to stay at your loft during SXSW
-So go and find Chris Williams and safe rage!
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-Bei Mir Bist Du Schon
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-(Mandy's first impression of Joe McCann at SXSW in 2006)
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-Of all the bald men I’ve known and I’ve known some
-Until we met at SXSW I was lonesome
-You had some diamond studs in your ears and a gold chain that
-hung down to hear
-I admit you looked a little gangster to me
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-You loved my Dead Kennedys t-shirt and I pretended to be a fan
-You made my laptop run so much faster and I thought I should keep this man
-And so I’ve racked my brain, hoping to explain
-All the things that you mean to me
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-Bei mir bist du schon, please let me explain
-Bei mir bist du schon means that you’re grand
-Oh bei mir bist du schon, it’s such an easy refrain
-It means you’re the fairest in the land
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-I could say Joey Joey, even say vundabar
-Each language only helps me tell you, darling, how grand you are
-I’ve tried to explain, bei mir bist du schon
-Please kiss me and say you understand
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-Brian Leroux Walked By
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-I was walking along, minding my business
-When there he was that PhoneGap guy
-(Jan & Max) Flash! Bam! Alacazam!
-Ooo Brian Leroux walked by
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-I was humming a tune, drinking in sunshine
-When there he sat, drinkin a brew
-(Jan & Max) Flash! Bam! Alacazam!
-Oh my goodness there’s Brian Leroux
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-One look and I said timber!
-Watch out for falling glass
-Cause the ceiling fell in and the bottom fell out I went into a spin and I started to shout he is it.. he is it... he is it... I-T IT!
-
-I was walking along, minding my business
-When there he was and so we cried
-(Jan & Max) Flash! Bam! Alacazam!
-In airports, conferences, and local bars
-He might be an assassin or a spy
-(Jan & Max) Flash! Bam! Alacazam!
-What a guy!!!
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-Pain in My Heart
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-(in regards to the Ajax bug that IOS 6 introduced)
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-This pain in my heart, oh yes it's true
-It makes me angry and often makes me blue
-This pain in my heart, oh the things that we all go through
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-This pain in my heart, it makes me sigh
-I’m never laughin', sometimes it makes me cry
-This pain in my heart, I’d like to roll up in a great big ball and die
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-Ooooo baby, you know it's true
-Deep down in my heart dear
-There is no love for bugs like you
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-This pain in my heart, it drives me mad
-It’s never good because it feels so bad
-This pain in my heart, caused by the worst bug I’ve ever had
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-One Monkey Don't Stop No Show
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-(Mandy left Ruby for JavaScript)
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-I jumped up this mornin
-And sat on the side of the bed
-I said I'm leavin you Ruby
-When I use you, I feel dead
-Cause you're way too bulky, so you’ve gotta go
-And it's high time darlin', it’s high time you should know
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-One monkey don't stop no show
-One monkey don't stop no show
-I’ve found something else to use instead
-And I mean every single word I said
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-Ruby thought I was jivin'
-Just couldn’t use it anymore
-I scrapped it at 3 in the morning but guess what
-I was using JavaScript at 4
-You see some languages cry when you have to let them go
-But I found out something a long time ago
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-One monkey don't stop no show
-One monkey don't stop no show
-So when it gets too big for it’s pants
-Just use JavaScript, give it a chance
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-I used to be chicken hearted
-I’d cry and throw myself on the floor
-Cause I was just new and naive
-Ha, I ain't like that no more
-Cause learned the hard way
-And I learned the score
-But guys I’m here to tell ya
-And darlins I should know
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-One monkey don't stop no show
-One monkey don't stop no show
-Cause you can do anything you choose
-Go tell that Ruby, you’re not amused
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-One monkey don't stop no show
-One monkey don't stop no show
-One monkey don't stop no show
-JavaScript is the best way to go
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-At Last
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-(in regards to the iPhone 5 finally being released)
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-At last, my love has come along
-My lonely days are over
-Cause you and I belong
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-At last, you’re screen I think it grew
-And how I love your passbook
-It was worth standing in long line for you
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-I found a phone that I could speak to
-A phone that I can call my own
-It’s such a thrill to press my cheek to
-A thrill that I have never known
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-Your maps, your maps, kill me now, they’re so bad
-But your camera, oh it’s heaven
-And I poopin'd Jan, at last :-)
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-Programmers Wanted
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-(about all the amuzing verbage that recuiters use)
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-Programmer wanted
-One great techie wanted
-One real ninja who codes until they cry
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-Wizard wanted
-One rockstar developer wanted
-You’re perfect for the job, but yes you must apply
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-Computer science degree is required
-Please send us your resume in a Microsoft Word format
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-Designer wanted
-A master guru wanted
-Finish 100% of your work
-And you get 20% time
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-Hacker wanted
-One software specialist wanted
-You’ll have to relocate, so please give me a call
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-Architect wanted
-One high level engineer wanted
-We have a softball league, we know you’ll have a ball
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-Did I mention that we have pool tables
-And beanbag chairs and free soda in the fridge
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-Yes, you’re wanted
-Your set of skills are wanted
-We have an indoor slide
-And pictures on the walls
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-Talent wanted, programming genius wanted
-They’re a fully funded startup in Silicon Valley
-You’ll take a pay cut in exchange for some equity
-One real super duper champion wanted
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-Fine iFrame
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-(someone told me that I couldn't create a song about iFrames... pwned!)
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-He's got some fine iframes
-Alex Sexton that is his name
-He’s alright with me but all I can see
-Are his fine iFrames
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-How long have you been around
-Alex, so glad you came into town
-I wanna scream cause I've never seen
-Such fine iFrames
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-Vampire skin can be so rare
-But you man are king of the throne
-You are no square, I love your red hair
-And your code is so well known
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-You’ve got some fine iFrames
-Alex Sexton that is his name
-He’s alright with me, but all I can see
-Are his fine iFrames
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-Anything Goes
-=
-(about what goes on in the tech industry)
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-Times have changed
-Conferences and meetup groups
-Checking Twitter to get the scoop
-Hope no one takes my phone and says I pooped
-Yes, today
-Make a phone call, are you insane
-Spending half my life on a plane
-My devices are frying my brain
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-In olden days you’d write a letter
-But email is so much better
-Because we all know, mail is too slow
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-My mom told me I should get a degree
-But I can learn all I wanna know online, any fuckin time
-Your industry rocks today
-Great talks today
-Gourmet coffee today
-Free booze today
-And a rave today
-Yes, all of that today
-You lucky, so-and-so’s
-And though Nuno’s a great romancer
-And has all the geeky answers
-Where’s the fire hose, cause anything goes
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-If mechanical bulls you like
-Gun duels like
-Helicopters you like
-Phil Collins you like
-If free phones you like
-Clowns and donkeys you like
-And pirate themed clothes
-And when each night the vibe is jumpin and recruiters
-Wine and dine you with hell who knows...
-Anything Goes
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-Bring Us Sunshine
-=
-(dedicated to Malte, Jan, Tiffany & Holger)
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-They bring sunshine, with a smile
-They bring laughter, all the while
-In this world where we live, there should be more happiness
-So much joy that they give, to each brand new bright tomorrow
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-They make us happy, every year
-Never bring us, any tears
-Yes their arms, are as warm, as the sun from up above
-They bring fun, they bring sunshine, they bring love
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